Wednesday, January 6, 2016

Rod Meredith: Personal - Pray for Our Financial Growth!



(From a reader here on Rod Meredith's latest beg for money.)

It's a beg-for-money-disguised-as-let's-pray-to-God-for-growth article.  Because, you know, when the rubber hits the road it's always about the money and always will be.


While older members/ex-members will recognize it doesn't quite pack the ol' HWA punch that the old co-worker letters did, unfortunately it will still cause some cowering fear to whip out their checkbooks once again, which is quite sad.




The title is:


Personal - Pray for Our Financial Growth!

This old phrase is, of course, the old stand-in for "we need money".  Because it sounds much more pious to ask for prayers than money.  But, amazingly, it seems you simply can't grow an organization just on prayers, so...

First, the usual positive introduction to get you in a giving mood!

Dear Brethren and Friends, I can honestly and sincerely tell you that this recent Feast of Tabernacles celebration was the most unified and inspiring Feast many of us have ever experienced.

For the love of all that's good and sacred give this old canard a rest already!
The MOST unified?  Most inspiring?  ever experienced?  They can't all be the bestest ever.  From high to higher to higher yet, a veritable one-way rocket trip to unimaginable heights of inspiration and unity!  The dude must be on a permanent high from such constant levels of inspiration each of which consistently transcends the last one.

Then, the "God works miracles" part to trigger the awe factor and, well, get you more into a giving mood.

Also, as a number of our “updates” have reported, Almighty God intervened at least several times in acts of divine protection and direct healing that took place at Feast sites all over the world. Thank God!

Never mind the details.  If the past is any guide, these "interventions" are entirely indistinguishable from chance and circumstance.


In spite of bad weather all around the site, our heavenly Father blessed us with much less rain and bad weather than many other areas nearby. So the weather did not stop our meetings

Uh huh, just as suspected.  Indistinguishable from chance and circumstance.  So he blessed you but cursed those poor souls who got the bad weather.  Also, I love the ambiguous phrase "much less rain and bad weather".  Imagine if the Almighty was just a teeny bit more mighty, you could have had "no rain and no bad weather".  Whatever, now let's get to establishing how important this Work is that you must send in money for.

Brethren, as the end of this age approaches, and as the power of our Work increases, there will undoubtedly be great persecution in the years just ahead. Each of us needs to beseech God to grant us—and all of our brethren—the faith and the courage to keep going and growing!

The above implies that your "Work" is growing, which seems to contradict what you imply below, that it is not growing or at least not anywhere near like it used to.

One special prayer that I would ask all of you to join me in praying is this: let us all together beseech God to grant us in this Work at least half of the financial increase that He gave Mr. Herbert W. Armstrong for about 35 years!

If I were a member, I would think that would be a silly thing to pray.  If the "Work" is of God, which he wants done, and indeed has promised to do, and it is the most important thing going on, even to God himself, then why do you need to beg him to increase it?  Rod talks almost as if it's something HE wants and hopes God will grant him.  Oh, wait, maybe I'm onto something.......

So, let us together beseech God, as this terrible society around us deteriorates more rapidly, as the wars and violence and weather upsets and earthquakes increase, that He would grant us much greater power to do the Work by giving us such a financial increase.

Yes, because before modern times there really weren't all that many societal problems, or wars, or violence, or bad weather or earthquakes.  Society was much better when, for example, criminals were crucified or slavery was common.  But I digress.

Again, if it's so important to God, and part of his Master Plan, why does he need you begging him to give it greater power through increased funds?  The dichotomy of thought is amazing.  On the one hand, this is God's most important Work of all time, the Gospel that has been prophesied to be preached, where events are inexorably taking place all according to God's master plan, the gates of hell shall not prevail against his church, etc. etc.  On the other hand, if we don't pray and "beseech" this God to let it all happen as prophesied, it might not happen!  Cognitive something or other.

By the way, what is it with the word "beseech"?  People who use it don't seem to know that it's a quaint and outdated term that nobody else uses anymore.  Continuing:

Perhaps none of us have the tremendous personalities and magnetism that the Armstrongs had.

I think I would scratch the "perhaps".

He is working through us right now, and—as these terrible end-time events approach—we really need to shake the world with the knowledge of His Kingdom far more than we have ever done.
Remember, brethren, we are only “beginning to fight.” We have not yet finished!

Yes, because unless and until you finish your work, the end cannot come!  Oh how dependent your God is on the whims of human beings.  Will they send in money?  If not, the work will languish and God cannot get on with his business!

So again, since Jesus told us: “ask and you shall receive,” we can with faith ask God to give us at least one-half of the financial increase He gave His Church all those years when Mr. and Mrs. Armstrong were still alive and doing the Work. That would be a 15 percent financial increase of this Work year by year.

15% growth?  Not likely.  Not likely at all unless you see a major uptick in membership rolls, which is almost certainly not going to happen in the increasingly non-religious country that is the U.S.

I hope all of you will sincerely and zealously do your part.

Ah, now we're getting down to the brass tacks.  Prayer is all fine and dandy but in the end it boils down to whether or not your money arrives at HQ.

But I am not going to “press you” on that. For that is up to you and between you and God as you “walk with Him” in the fear of God.

Ha!  I love it.  I'm not going to press you, but it's up to YOU if you want to face the fear and wrath of God if you don't send in more money!

Then, we could go on far more television stations, greatly increase our impact over the Internet—which is certainly the “wave of the future”—

Um, you mean the wave of the present, right?  What is this future "internet" you speak of?  Sounds interesting...

... increase our personal appearance campaigns and “grow” the Work in every possible way.

Uh-oh, does every possible way include a new Big Beak and Young Ambassadors?  God I hope not, but then again I'm not too concerned.

When I first began this present Work back in 1992, I was a little embarrassed to ask for money.

Yeah, rrrright. Too embarrassed to ask, uh-huh. Sure.

If you read some of the old [HWA] co-worker letters today, as many of you brethren have kept some of them, they were almost “hair-raising” in the power they had!

Yeah, come to think of it, they were hair-raising, with their dire predictions of calamity always within 5-10 years, and the need for the "final push", the final lap, impending collapse of society and return of JC always around the corner throughout the 1940s, 50s, 60s, 70s and 80s.  Duh, of course they were hair-raising -- fear is what those co-worker letters were all about.   Fear and guilt, I might add.
And naturally those hair-raising warnings all turned out to be wrong, but hey, who cares, the letters did what they were designed to do, which was increase income.

But because this world so desperately needs what we have to give, I urge you to join me along with our top ministers in beseeching God to grant us at least 15 percent increase in our financial resources year by year and therefore enable us to really get going far beyond what we have yet done so this world will have a powerful “witness” of the Plan of God

I hope you will join us to beseech (almost starting to like that word) God that you will send us more money.  Please beseech God to make you send us more money.

Dear brethren, some of you may wonder why I am coming on so strong at this time.

Uh... desperation, perhaps?

After Mr. Armstrong’s death, God’s Church came apart in many ways. We have been truly scattered into many different groups and denominations. The power and effectiveness of the Work has been shattered beyond belief.

Oh, great.  Because you guys didn't have enough faith, and broke up into a hundred splinters, now the world has to wait another who knows, 30 or more years in Satan's clutches.  Damn.  And to think, JC was just about to arrive like HWA was saying.  Damn.

All of the little groups that have clung to at least part of the Truth are literally unknown to 99 percent (or more!) of the world’s population! Most of you realize this. If you go around your neighborhood you find virtually no one who has heard of the Living Church of God or any of the other groups that are trying to do God’s Work today.

No one has heard of LCG?! No kidding?  Shocker!  Why I thought LCG and UCG were household names by now.

So I hope all of us can begin to fast and to pray fervently and ask God to help us stir ourselves to do our part far more zealously and begin to serve our Creator with zeal and to give of our physical substance sacrificially as we are able.

That wonderful phrasing again: Ask God to stir us up to send in more money!
Love that physical substance!  Fasting, praying and zeal are all fine, but give me some physical substance any day.

Some of our brethren are already doing this. But I am fully aware that many of our brethren—often fine brethren who mean well and who are already giving a little bit of their substance—are nevertheless sitting on hundreds of thousands or millions of dollars worth of money, property and other resources they very rarely touch to help do the Work of the living God at the very end of this age.

Oh for the love of rationality, please do not send one dime in to this guy who's telling you to do so or else God can't do His Work that He is supposedly going to do anyway, and besides we might paraphrase Captain Kirk who once asked "What does God need with a starship", as follows: "What does God need with your money, for crying out loud he (supposedly) created the cotton-pickin' universe ex nihilo".
RCM, on the other hand, desperately does need your money as he has no ex nihilo powers and is forced to resort to begging for money in articles like these.

Brethren, as our beloved peoples of America, Canada, Britain and other Israelite-descended nations ....

No, no, no, no, no, the genetic evidence says otherwise.  Don't you guys keep up on these things?

...it is obvious that God will soon shake us beyond what we have ever experienced before. It is obvious that our own standards of living will greatly diminish more than what many of us can perhaps imagine. It is obvious that many millions of people of the descendants of Israel will go into captivity—experiencing anguish and suffering which they have never before experienced.

Now you're getting with it, Rod!  Hair-raising like HWA.  Although I have to admit HWA was better at it.  Nuclear winters, parents forced to eat their children, diseases of rotting flesh, that kind of imagery.  A little more specific and visual imagery would have scaled up the fear and helped bring in more dollars.  But then again, HWA was a pro.

It is in that spirit that I am asking all of you to become more truly zealous and “sacrificial” in the way you give of your resources. We in America, Canada, Britain and Australia often have far beyond what we actually need to lead a comfortable life, and far, far more than we need merely to subsist.

WTF?  You mean you won't be satisfied unless your members sacrifice their money to you so that they are on "subsistence" levels?  Should they be living in the woods off berries and mushrooms?  Certainly no one should own a house, car or have more than one set of clothes (far, far above what's needed to "subsist").
And of course, you're going to set the example first, right Rod?  Right?

So, “God is watching and testing” our attitudes in this regard. I am just asking you to do what some of us are already doing to a degree.

Pure bullcrap.  Oh wait, maybe they've hesitated on getting that second coffee-maker.  Sacrifice, after all.

I hope all of you can see the “signs” of the soon-coming end of this age. We all know what this means.

Lessee, I see wars and rumors of wars (whatever that means), earthquakes, volcanoes, crime, hurricanes, disease, etc. all of which have been going on for all of human history or for millions of years earlier, even before they were prophesied.

We know that it means that we have just so much time to get out Christ’s message so that people all over the world will know that our God is real, and that He is now beginning to intervene with increasing power to set up His Kingdom on this earth.

And if you don't get that message out, then what....?

Really, what a silly letter.  So sad that there are going to be some people who read this, get all excited and send their hard-earned funds and or liquidated assets to this guy and his minions.

What happens if LCG can't pay for a few TV programs, 2nd coming on hold?

What does God need with a starship.

Or in this case, a dingy boat.