Saturday, January 6, 2018

Will the COG True Two Witnesses Be Able To Do this?



Ron Weinland believes and teaches that he and his dingy wife Laura are and will be the two witnesses of Revelation.

Can you imagine these two morons doing this:
Ron claims he and his wife are the TWs (Two Witnesses) of Rev 11.
1) They breath fire
2) They kill their enemies
3) They turn rivers to blood
4) They shut the heavens
5) They can cast plagues at their discretion, as often as they want.
Not only do they believe this, but Weinland is now starting to teach that there will be a second set of two witless witnesses.

Let me guess, Jeremy and Audra.  Oh wait, Bob Theil and James Malm! Now there's a pair...

From: False Prophet Ron Weinland

Church Festivals and "God's Calendar": Oy veh!

Oy vey (Yiddishאױ װײ‎) or oy vey ist mir is a Yiddish phrase expressing dismay or exasperation. Also spelled oy vay, oy veh, or oi vey, and often abbreviated to oy, the expression may be translated as, "oh, woe!" or "woe is me!" Its Hebrew equivalent is oy vavoy (אוי ואבוי, ój waävój).[1][2]



When I was a mere puppy in the ministry, age 25 at the most, and knew all things pertaining to life, death  and the hear after, just ask me, I had the wonderful experience of having to drive Dr. Hoeh out to a farm in Ohio where the local deacon was stirring up the pot in the congregation on all things Passover.  If I recall properly he felt it was being kept on the wrong day, at the wrong time in the wrong way and was getting more and more militant about it at services.  Dr Hoeh talked with him as I fell asleep bored to tears and wondering what the hell it all mattered anyway.  Nothing was going to get solved and the scriptures weren't exactly  clear about it all or we'd not be here in the first place.  Over the years, "How and When to keep the Passover" or other Holy days for that matter was one of life's more annoying experiences in the Church.  Eventually the deacon threatened to call 60 minutes on me , which was popular at the time, and I had to call the police to come to  services to calm things down.  It was nuts. Very nuts.
 My FIRST of many stressful welcome to the ministry experiences with WCG.  He left of course and took whoever he could with him.  That's how it works in the Church.  It was  the 70's,  and it was all downhill from there with WCG history, which can be loosely defined as "one damn thing after the next."
I wish I had known that the Pentateuch, not written by any Moses, but rather various authors JEDP (Defined nicely on this site) documented 5 different Festival Calendars depending on who wrote the text.  And here all along I thought God wrote the rules and they were perfectly clear if you just had the right combination to the safe and pieces of God's puzzle.  
There are 5 different festival calendars in the Pentateuch, each one originating from a once separate and independent source:
  1. Exodus 23:14-17 (from the Elohist source)
  2. Exodus 34:18-26 (from the Yahwist)
  3. Deuteronomy 16:1-17 (from the Deuteronomist)
  4. Leviticus 23 (from the Priestly source, accredited to the Holiness Code)
  5. Numbers 28-29 (also from the pen of P)
I am presently going through these different calendars and will be posting their contradictions and differences over the next few days/weeks. I have already noted a few of these contradictions, those between the earliest sources and Deuteronomy (#109-110#111#112#113#117#118, and #168). However, there are a few that I missed and I will additionally be adding the contradictions between the earliest sources and the late Priestly source, as well as those between D and P.
Here, in this initial introductory post, I merely wish to reproduce each of the different calendars in the broadest view possible, and in chronological order—that is from the oldest textual source forward, not from the narrative chronology as these sources now stand in the redacted text.
1) Exodus 23:14-17 (E): 3 pilgrimage festivals to local altars that must be observed by all males
  1. Festival of Unleavened Bread (7 day festival in the month of Abib; 7th day is the pilgrimage (Ex 13:6)
  2. Harvest Festival (first fruits/grains harvested)
  3. Festival of Gathering (end of year harvest)
2) Exodus 34:18-26 (J): 3 pilgrimage festivals to local altars that must be observed by all males
  1. Festival of Unleavened Bread (7 days in the month of Abib)
  2. Festival of Weeks = Harvest (#168)
  3. Festival of Gathering
3) Deuteronomy 16:1-17 (D)
  1. Passover + 6 days of Unleavened Bread (specific day of Abib still not specified; Passover must be celebrated at Jerusalem, which is now a pilgrimage festival (#117); Unleavened Bread no longer a pilgrimage festival; Passover is now absorbed as the 1st day of unleavened bread, reducing the Festival of Unleavened Bread to 6 days)
  2. Festival of Weeks (now delayed 7 weeks from early E date; now a pilgrimage festival to Jerusalem)
  3. Festival of Booths (7 days at Jerusalem; transformation of Festival of Gathering)
4) Leviticus 23 (P): Yahweh’s Appointed Times & Sacred Assemblies
  1. Passover & Unleavened Bread (14th & 15th of Abib; 7 days total (=D) or Passover + 7 days (cf. Ex 12:17-20)?; Passover no longer a pilgrimage festival to Jerusalem, but now (again, see E) at home; Unleavened Bread reclaimed a pilgrimage festival; now proclaimed an “eternal law”; burnt-offerings to Yahweh for 7 days, not specified)
  2. Festival of Weeks (now proclaimed an “eternal law”; grain & burnt offerings to Yahweh at the first reaping of harvest AND 7 sabbatical weeks later (i.e., start counting on the Sabbath), on the 50th day, more grain & burnt offerings to Yahweh, plus sin and peace offerings)
  3. Horn Blast Holy Day (1st day of 7th month; offerings to Yahweh)
  4. Day of Purgation (10th day of 7th month; an “eternal law”; offerings to Yahweh, see Lev 16)
  5. Festival of Booths (15th day of 7th month; an “eternal law”; burnt-offerings for 7 days; 8th day a sacred assembly)
5) Numbers 28-29 (P): Yahweh’s Sacrifices
  1. The tamid (twice daily “continual” burnt-offering of one-year old lambs, in the morning and in the evening)
  2. Sabbath Day (burnt-offering of 2 lambs w/accompanying grain-offering + the tamid)
  3. New Moon, 1st of the month (burnt-offering of 2 bulls, 1 ram, 7 lambs w/accompanying grain-offering + sin-offering of 1 goat + the tamid)
  4. Passover & Unleavened Bread (14th & 15th of Abib; Unleavened Bread a pilgrimage festival for 7 days, each day a burnt-offering of 2 bulls, 1 ram, 7 lambs w/accompanying grain-offering + sin-offering of 1 goat + the tamid)
  5. Day of Firstfruits = Festival of Weeks (pilgrimage festival; burnt-offering of 2 bulls, 1 ram, 7 lambs w/accompanying grain-offering + sin-offering of 1 goat + the tamid)
  6. Horn Blast Holy Day (1st day of 7th month; burnt-offering of 1 bull, 1 ram, 7 lambs w/accompanying grain-offering + burnt-offering for New Moon + sin-offering of 1 goat + thetamid)
  7. Day of Purgation (10th day of 7th month; burnt-offering of 1 bull, 1 ram, 7 lambs w/accompanying grain-offering + burnt-offering for Atonement (= Lev 16) + sin-offering of 1 goat + the tamid)
  8. Festival of Booths (15th day of 7th month; pilgrimage festival; 7 days of burnt-offerings: day 1: 13 bulls, 2 rams, 14 lambs w/accompanying grain-offering + a sin-offering of 1 goat + the tamid; day 2: 12 bulls, 2 rams, 14 lambs; day 3: 11 bulls, 2 rams, 14 lambs, etc.; day 8 declared a sacred assembly: burnt-offering of 1 bull, 1 ram, 7 lambs w/accompanying grain-offering + sin-offering of 1 goat + the tamid)
As is visible from this detailed list of the Pentateuch’s festival calendars, the two Priestly calendars, most likely from the post-exilic era, express a heightened interest in and concern for the cult—as we would expect from this Aaronid priestly guild. Not only are the lunar dates of these festivals precisely articulated, but so too, at least in Numbers, the actual sacrifices to be performed.
The reader can additionally see where there are minor discrepancies and even contradictions between these sources’ calendars. We will look at these in more detail over the next few posts. I think I will proceed by first looking at the variations, discrepancies, and contradictions in the Passover and Unleavened Bread Festival accounts, and from there the accounts of the Festival of Weeks, etc.