Saturday, November 22, 2014

Gerald Flurry Claims Fire Will Come From His Mouth To Kill His Enemies





Just when you think all the silliness of the Philadelphia Church of God has been used up, along comes Gerald Flurry claiming he is one of the Two Witless Witnesses.  Apparently lil'Stevie is the second one.  As the Two Witless Witnesses they will have the power to devour their enemies with fire from their mouths as the prattle around Jerusalem proclaiming Herb's Word.

According to Flurry it is only he and his church that are doing a work because not one single other Church of God has a lamp that's burning brightly in this wicked dark and sinful world.  This must really frost Dave Pack who thinks he has the only lamp burning.  All this in turn ticks of UCG and COGWA who think they are God's gift to humanity.

They have all become such useless windbags saying such incredibly ludicrous things that nothing they say any more can be regarded as "truth" - not that it ever was.

These two men are to prophesy for 1,260 days. That means they start prophesying at the very beginning of the Great Tribulation and continue until the end. The point is, they are ready to prophesy for God when the Tribulation starts. These two men have great power. “And if any man will hurt them, fire proceedeth out of their mouth, and devoureth their enemies: and if any man will hurt them, he must in this manner be killed. These have power to shut heaven, that it rain not in the days of their prophecy: and have power over waters to turn them to blood, and to smite the earth with all plagues, as often as they will” (verses 5-6). Would a Laodicean leader have the faith for God to use him so forcefully? If he didn’t have the faith to do God’s warning Work, could he have the faith to demonstrate such power? Where in the Bible can you find God using a “blind” Laodicean-type leader who is about to be spewed out of His mouth to do such a job? (Revelation 3:14-19).

True Philadelphians did God’s Work in both the Philadelphian and Laodicean eras. Even though this is now the Laodicean era, God’s Philadelphia Church still does God’s Work. Only they are willing to “rise and measure the temple of God” (Revelation 11:1), or do God’s Work. So the godly representatives from both eras are Philadelphians. The two witnesses are called two lamps (“candlesticks” is not a good translation). And we know these lamps (two witnesses) are both burning at the beginning of the Tribulation. So it is really the lamps on which God is focusing. The Laodiceans do not have a lamp—so how can a Laodicean be one of God’s witnesses or lamps? These two lamps or witnesses could only come from the Philadelphia Church, where God’s lamp is located!  Who Are The Two Witnesses

31 comments:

Ed said...

So Gerald Flurry thinks he is going to be like a fire breathing dragon and burn to ashes those that oppose him.

Am I missing something or is this pure insanity?

I am beginning to think that anyone who still follows this kook is himself or herself insane. There is no other explanation.

I think that all the COG's are weird cults but are sane in comparison to Flurry's or Pack's little wacko groups.

Byker Bob said...

This is damage control, plain and simple. It is targeted at any who would question the wisdom of blowing all that bread on Eddie Stone's old pad.

Speaking of blowing smoke, why is it that everyone who claims to be the two witnesses actually bears more resemblance to Ahole-ah, and Ahole-ibah?

BB

Anonymous said...

If Gerald and Steve talked facing each other, would both be incinerated???

Connie Schmidt said...

I could believe Flurry "passing gas" from his rear end possibly killing someone.

Fire coming from his mouth... nah!

Anonymous said...

Don't forget the Rod of god, and LCG, who also think their insignificant splinter is alone in being the one troo church on earth today. Their asses must be chapping too.

And there's Ron and Laura, the other two witless witnesses who also can't seem to act like prophets, but instead, get shown up for being the criminals they are. They can't even follow Jesus' words to give caesar what's his, let alone anything else Jesus might have said.

The four witnesses? My chapped ass!

Anonymous said...

The lamps are lit by the spirit of God, but Gerald and Steve are a couple of ruthless lying assholes. There is no spirit of God flowing into or out of either of those two pricks.

Nice try though.

Anonymous said...


"Gerald Flurry Claims Fire Will Come From His Mouth To Kill His Enemies"


Is this why Gerald cut back on the beer a while back? So he could switch from 5% alcohol beer to something that was 40% or more alcohol and would burn, so he could play fiery mouth tricks?

It is too early to count David Pack out. His prophecy from the summer of 2013 might yet come to pass. Three of these impostors could all die by fire in one day.

These lying idiots like Gerald Flurry and others might try to perform fancy, fiery, mouth tricks. Three of these fraudsters could all be together someday trying to outdo each other with their fiery mouth tricks to try to fool and impress their followers, when something could go terribly wrong (or wonderfully right, depending on how you view it) and all three of them could die by fire in one day. Gerald could have drunk too much moonshine—quality moonshine, like White Lightning. Someone else could have inhaled too much lighter fluid. A third fat fake could simply have too much gas. Someone could light a cigar to celebrate the good times they all had with all the stolen tithe money they raked in, and Ka-boom!


Anonymous said...

Where did he actually name the two witnesses are?

Anonymous said...

If That Prophet has been drinking, wouldn't fire coming from his mouth cause a pretty amazing bit of combustion? Like something out of a circus side-show -- pretty descriptive of so much of present-day Armstrongism.

Anonymous said...

In a landfill setting, anaerobic bacteria feed on organic materials and produce methane gas. Often, this is vented through some sort of piping, and burned off, which is visible to the general public. So, if the Flurrys indeed belch fire in the future, it has a perfectly scientific explanation, not a supernatural one. It will be from the anaerobic bacteria feedng on the rotting garbage within them, and generating methane gas!

~Miguel de la Rodente

Black Ops Mikey said...

Armstrongists are like the battered wife: They stay and take the abuse to stand by their man even though they are bloody, have black eyes, bruises, broken bones, but they stay because they are afraid to leave and are worried that if they do someone worse will come into their lives, so they make excuses and act like they believe the abuse is all their fault.

Minimalist said...

Before these powers he needs to find the POWER to pay the mortgage on the sprawling English Estate.

Minimalist said...

I will enjoy watching TWC (the Two Witnesses Channel) during the Trib. They will have a lot of dead-air time to fill, so hopefully they will have plenty of Irish Riverdance segments interweaved with dire prophetic warnings by the Okies in Edmund.

Chuckles said...

If Gerald is one of the 2 then first there has to come a miracle on his speaking ability because he will never get out what God wants him to say. Also, I guess Malm is going to be disappointed when he finds out about Gerald after all the nasty things he said about him, maybe they will be working together as the two.

Hard to believe how religion and thinking you are important and God is using only you and only you have all the truth can affect a person, all of a sudden you are right and everyone else is wrong or Laodecian, when that happens you overlook or don't even notice how you are actually dividing the brethren which is something God hates, both Malm and Flurry do that so well. I think maybe in reality none of these so called churches of God are Gods, or Gods true leaders, they just set themselves up as if they are, some called out ones in each who thought they had to join with someone because of guilty feelings or conscience sake okay, but Gods organized people I doubt it.

The number one thing missing in all of them sticks out like a sore thumb and they are the ones deceived into not being able to even notice and actually think they have the love they really do not. When I see and hear Geralds miracle in speaking, and Malms as well as far as that goes, Malms speaking ability is worse than Flurrys, but when that miracle appears it might get my attention, right now they are both just world news broadcasters of world news but trying to make it appear as Gods news.

Corky said...

I agree with Ed, "anyone who still follows this kook is...insane". Only, unlike Ed, I'm not "beginning to think" that, I've thought that for the last 40 years.

DennisCDiehl said...

http://ezinearticles.com/?The-Two-Witnesses-of-Revelation---Theyre-Everywhere,-Theyre-Everywhere&id=348380

Just sayin'

Lake of Fire Church of God said...

Let's not forget the Profit Bob Thiel - I am sure he has some ideas as to who the two witnesses are. In fact, I bet each of the 700+ WCG splinters have their own speculations as to WHO are the prophetic two witnesses of the Book of Revelation.

Ron and Laura Weinland's delusional claim that Laura (witness #2) is a witness to Ron being witness #1 and what he does as witness #1 earns my vote for the most creative twist to this long Armstrong Church of God prophetic speculation.

There are still some who believe a resurrected Herbert W. Armstrong and son Garner Ted Armstrong will be the two witnesses of the book of Revelation. Just for the record, I never once heard either Armstrong claim that they were one of the two witnesses - the Armstrong's already have enough baggage in their legacy so let's not put this additional baggage on them.

One thing is certain - if and when the time ever comes in the make believe world of the Armstongites, there will be enough Armstrong Churches of God end time two witnesses - living and dead- to put on a three ring circus to keep us entertained!

Please pass the popcorn!

Richard
Lake of Fire Church of God

James said...

Fire out of Flurrys mouth heh? The PCG. An Anerican Freak Show!

old EXPCG hag said...

Wonder what Jesus thinks about all this? Has G.R.F. and the other PCg hierarchy even begun to become "Christlike" like Christ commanded in the New Testament? Did Christ say it's all about old testament prophecy or obeying His new testament commands...Nevermind...I gotta get back to writing my book. I have to change bubble gum to gumballs.

Black Ops Mikey said...

One of the witnesses obviously is my cat, Mikey. Maybe the other witness will be his predecessor, Mikey. The two Mikey witnesses: What could be more perfect.

One meow means yes, two meows mean no and hissing means trouble.

Byker Bob said...

One of the reasons I stuck around, once I got to AC and Pasadena, was that I thought that it was possible to reach the higher, spiritually enlightened state we've been discussing on another thread, and to reach these through the teachings of HWA. And, then once I saw what was really taking place there at ground zero, my mind vacillated from day to day. On a given day, what I saw might convince me that everyone was either faking or caught up in group think, or on another day, that my classmates who were getting baptized were able to perceive something much to be sought after that I was somehow missing.

Now, of course, I know. Years of watching members and leaders has demonstrated that there really is not anything special there. They are not enlightened, they are not even particularly gifted. Through sheer will power, they adhere to rituals, even as we all watch their prophecies continue to fail, their guiding extra-biblical theories to be disproven, and the continued adaptation of even weirder theories and teachings, plus their increasing idolization of HWA. This circus does not constitute enlightenment, and if it did, who would want it? The Jews have inarguably been an international blessing to nations around the world, with their intellect, inventiveness, logic, and sheer humanity. But Armstrongites, who claim to take the "God's people" thing to the next level, don't even rise to the exemplary level of the Jews.

BB

RSK said...

Yes, Thiel also hints at himself being one of the two witnesses in some of his articles. There have been a number of COG people who have claimed to be at some point or another - some familiar names, some rank-and-file members.

Anonymous said...

Bravo, BB. Well said. That's it exactly.

Anonymous said...

Say, Lake of Fire --

Only months after succumbing to the Deception of Herbert and becoming a regular WCG attender, I had my first dose of Gerald Waterhouse.

Although Herbert may not be on record claiming to be a Witness, the Insane Creature known as Waterhouse actually said, as only he could say it, and in so many words: Herb and Ted WERE the Two Witnesses. I've heard him similarly quoted by others as sometimes adding, "If that isn't true you can throw away your Bibles!"

Perhaps others here remember something similar.

Anonymous said...

Claiming that Jews have high intellect is a racist statement because it suggest some races are smarter than others.

Anonymous said...

3:38, I don't agree. I believe that that is taking your probably good intentions too far. There are areas where people of certain heritages naturally excel. Otherwise, all races would be exactly the same, with no distinguishing characteristics. It is certainly not racist to compliment noteworthy qualities. Racism is presuming inferiority in such a way as to hold people back, or to use as an excuse to marginalize them socially.

Anonymous said...

At least hes not telling people about his "beautiful feet" this round.

Lake of Fire Church of God said...

Anonymous November 23, 2014 at 3:03 PM said,

“Only months after succumbing to the Deception of Herbert and becoming a regular WCG attender, I had my first dose of Gerald Waterhouse.

Although Herbert may not be on record claiming to be a Witness, the Insane Creature known as Waterhouse actually said, as only he could say it, and in so many words: Herb and Ted WERE the Two Witnesses. I've heard him similarly quoted by others as sometimes adding, "If that isn't true you can throw away your Bibles!"

Perhaps others here remember something similar.

MY COMMENT – Yes Anon 3:03, I can confirm what you said and I do remember Gerald Waterhouse saying something very similar, and I am quite sure I can find the exact date and exact quote in my Sabbath Services notebooks from the late 1960s buried in boxes in my closet if I were so inclined. Of course, I remember Waterhouse running his mouth about a lot of things in sermons lasting 3 to 3 ½ hours. Funny you should post your comment because when I wrote the earlier comment, I thought of Waterhouse too because I also thought about what Waterhouse said and knew what you said to be true. But my earlier comment stands - I NEVER EVER heard it directly from Herbert or Garner Ted. NEVER!

I am sure Herbert was quite happy to have Waterhouse make such speculation as it only re-enforced the mind controlled grip the Armstrong’s had over the sheep.

Richard
Lake of Fire Church of God

Quote of the Day from traveling WCG Evangelist Gerald Waterhouse - Did you know "Waterhouse" means "Go water the house of God?"


Anonymous said...

It is racist to say that some races are dumb even if it is scientifically proven. But it is not racist to say some races are smart. That's because people are politically correct hypocrites.

Anonymous said...

So===Anonymous 3:38 PM ; I personally know that I have shown my lack of intellect by staying in WCOG for over 25 years . Lost a wife and children plus a small fortune and one hell of a lot of time, but I stayed on believing god would make it all right . Well the WCOG left me .
This is just one story out of thousands .

What percent of COG believers were ever Jewish ??

I know there is not enough data to establish a "Mean" but, there is far to much antidotal data for me to ignore !
I bought into “ Political Whoosh” for a while, but found it to be much like “Group Think".... Similar to “COG Think” That is “Intellectual Suppression” !
Not trying to undermine your intent, just offering another prospective .

Thanks
Wess

Byker Bob said...

The Abominable Snowmen (Flurrys) had better be very careful! Gene Simmons of Kiss actually burned himself several times while attempting to breathe fire. Of course, one of the key distinctions being that it is much more edifying and entertaining to go to a Kiss concert than to go to the PCG Feast of Tabernacles!

BB