Friday, November 6, 2015

The Holy Church of God Family That Are All Prophets/Evangelists/Witnesses

Did you know that God's mighty redemptive purpose for all creation has culminated in Felon Weinlands family?  Jesus be damned, the Weinlands are the truth and the way to salvation!

God’s purpose for mankind is for all to have the potential to become part of His Family. Therefore, God is once again emphasizing the importance of family just as He has at other times throughout the past 6,000 years through those with whom He has worked. So God is now working through Ronald and his wife, Laura, to be His two end-time witnesses written about in Revelation 11 who appear on the scene at the very end of the end-time.
As part of God’s purpose to emphasize the importance of family, He has also prepared and placed both of their children into important areas of service within His Church. Their daughter, Audra, has been ordained a prophet, even as Deborah was a prophet in the time of the Judges of Israel, and she has been placed to serve over the Church in the U.K., Ireland, and continental Europe. Their son, Jeremy, has been ordained to serve as an evangelist to God’s Church.
There you have it! A money laundering daughter and a BMW loving son are God's chosen!  Do not mock them or you mock god!

God's greatest instruments ever to be created are:

Felon Ron
Witless Witness #2 wife Laura
Money laundering daughter/prophet Audra
Dim witted Jeremy, evangelist, the lover of fast expensive cars.


Byker Bob said...

He's really not even that convincing at street theatre. I think I'd respect him a whole lot more if he just claimed that he and his family were Martians.


Connie Schmidt said...

Maybe with a little luck and patience, if I scour long enough, perhaps I too can find a common ancestor to the almighty Weinland genetic heritage...

and then I too can take on a religious title and spend church money on BMWs, Las Vegas Trips and Victoria Secret shopping sprees like the Weinland family is privy to.

Anonymous said...

I hope that Laura, who hides diamonds in her various orifices, doesn't get one of those Loma Armstrong bowel blockages!
Otherwise Ron may need to keep pulling her arm like she's a slot machine in trying to release the funds needed for their newest extravagant shopping spree.

Anonymous said...

Biography: A Personal Timeline for False Prophet Ronald Weinland