Staff members will be the brunt of nit-picky criticalness day in and day out. Nothing will ever be good enough and most everything will have be changed to suit the bosses wishes. A thick skin is a prerequisite for working around the narcissist.
“And they criticize, gripe, and complain about almost everything and almost everyone almost all the time. There are usually a favored few whom narcissists regard as absolutely above reproach, even for egregious misconduct or actual crime, and about whom they won’t brook the slightest criticism. These are people the narcissists are terrified of, though they’ll tell you that what they feel is love and respect; apparently they don’t know the difference between fear and love. Narcissists just get worse and worse as they grow older; their parents and other authority figures that they’ve feared die off, and there’s less and less outside influence to keep them in check.”
The narcissistic pastor is obsessed with who has the power in the church. They may even pick one or more people that becomes their authority and sounding board for almost every decision. They may argue vehemently with that person, but will always want to know their opinion.
“At other times, the intimidation dynamic may be more overt, such as when the NPD person directly wields his authority by making continual references to the differences in your positions of power, professional stature, status or money.” (Payson p. 39)