We'll Take Care of You, and Pray for You Too!

A Very Personal and Private Open Letter to the Grace International Fellowship, Formerly Known as Prince, Leadership .

 

Greetings in the Name of the Triune Jesus who includes most, but obviously not all, in the wonderous works done in His name.

 

Nearing the traditional retirement age in America and realizing you took me seriously when I joked the Worldwide Church of God retirement program seems to be for the minister to drive into a tree at 65 years old and 65 miles an hour, I wished to make a simple plea.

 

Crazy me, years ago when I asked in a Refresher Seminar if the WCG was meeting its obligations to full time pastors to prepare for their retirement, Mr. Ron Kelly assured us all, "we will take care of you."  Whew...that really was encouraging.  We had to be patient and trust the Administration, but no problem.  They all knew that the NT said, something about saying, "be warmed and be filled but give not to them what is needed..." , so I relaxed over doubts about what I was hearing  and obviously it was simply my carnal nature getting the best of me. 

 

When terminated, Mr. Curtis May of the Reconciliation Dept said he's pray for me and wished me luck, which sounded a lot like that scripture, but I realize it was just in the way I was hearing it.  No one would really do that and not have it seem hilarious coming from the "Reconciliation Dept."   That would be crazy!

 

Now I understand it doesn't matter and Church was never about the money, but I estimated that I (sorry about that) inspired the giving of millions...over 40 million in my own personal journey through "we will take care of you."   My parents and 30+ other family members, mostly ending up as ministers, elders, deacons and deaconesses all over the place gave hundred of thousands I am pretty sure.  They have all gone back to their roots or moved on to happy slappy mega-churches.  I, on the other hand, now rub people the right way by teaching and practicing therapeutic massage.  I get so tempted to declare myself a Prophet, Apostle, Witness or Really Special Jesus Person, but it's just not in me.  Three Hundred Thousand folks have downloaded my articles on things I seemed to have missed in Harmony of the Gospels Class and Epistles of Paul.  Well actually, things I seemed to have missed from Genesis to Revelation in my education by the experts at WCG.  One guy wrote me to tell me words can get you killed and another said I was just bitter, but honest, I just ever wanted to know the truth about life and still am working on that one.  One did say I was just another "High Priest of Marduk," and I thanked him as I have not had a religious title for years now and it feels really good.

 

Mr. Bernie Schnippert, who was legal counsel for the WCG, told me he was really sorry but he could do nothing for those who didn't get happy slappy over Jesus and were still in the employ of the church through all the transitions. It's nice how he retired, moved to the Pacific Northwest and all I hear about how nice it is to be near his family and grand kids.  I got marooned in South Carolina and everyone is a bit scattered due to Church, Church, Church but that's fine. I never thought I'd get to live in the deep south and in the Bible Belt to boot which serves as a constant reminder of the fear, guilt and shame Jesus uses to keep us all in line.  Trust me, "Pray, Obey, Pay and Stay" is just as bad here as anywhere...Gnome sayin??  I asked a few guys who stayed and still are with WCG now CGI, or even UCG, PCG or RCG, if they believed it all and they said "No, but I want to get to retirement."  Sheesh...I should have pulled that stunt!  Oh well, proof that the children of light are more stupid than the children of Satan at times.

 

Anyway, at the time, I did what you told me to do with my severance agreement.  I took it to a lawyer friend but it was kinda bad news for me it seemed.  She asked me if this document really came from a church?  I said yes and she said, and I do apologize ahead of time for this but her quote was kinda cool..."You're fucked."   Whew...after fanning myself and telling her to please please not used bad words like that, she said, "Ok, well this is not to your advantage."   "That's a lot better I told her."  Well I mean the way she broke the news to me was better, not the actual news contained therein.

 

First of all, and let me be clear, I know this letter is just between you and me so I do understand a few things about the attitudes the dear brethren have towards use despicable minister types.  I know they think we deserve to go down in flames and love to mock us as God's chosen ministers.  We know the Bible tells us to expect this.  We know they think we were all insincere bastards just in it for the money, power and control but we know this is not so.  I became somewhat of a bastard sinner nutcase AFTER my Church of God experience, but don't think that should be held against me.  Transitions are messy and like Cher said once, "Life is not easy. Mine has been messy at times, but it is just me doing the best I can."  Somehow that comforts me. 

 

Anyway...I think you have stashed millions somewhere from the sale of assets my family and hundreds of thousands of others bought for you guys.  I can't imagine that you are using it all up with only five of you actually drawing a real retirement from it.  Can I have some please?  Maybe around $5-600 a month just for rent and groceries.  I'm not asking for medical insurance. While I don't have any and can't get any, I feel pretty good and if I blow a gallbladder or get some dumbass later in life disease, I will just agree to let go and enter the Kingdom. I mean after all, we're all just dying to get to heaven anyway so no biggie.  I can bite on a wooden stick for pain and if reasonably close to the surface, can drink whiskey, like in the old days and just cut it out or off.  Teeth come out pretty well with a well placed blow so again, it's not like there aren't solutions to health challenges.  People with insurance for such things really just lack faith in God's healing and Jesus Grace so really, it puts me in a much more spiritually superior position.  It feels good to act like I know it all.  Know what I'm sayin????

 

Ok, well lots of thoughts to share.  I promise this will be kept between us.  I anxiously away your proposal to help me get through.  Oh shit.. (oopse sorry, I'd be afraid to give sermons these days for all the new words I've learned since WCG days) ,I forgot you had me sign away Social Security because, well you know, "we will take care of you and we don't have to save it for you on ministerial salaries."  Pretty slick!!!  So if you could include another $50/month, that would help.  

 

Thanks so much!!! I know you will do the right thing for those who built your buildings, bought your groceries, houses, cars, vacations and funded your Holy Day sacrifices traveling all over the world for Jesus.  The Cruise for Jesus in the Fall was a great idea!  Trash the Festival but then take cruises talking about how evil it all was is brilliant!!!   How do you guys come up with this stuff?

 

Ok, shhhhhh.  This is just between us.  Bernie did say that if I talked badly about the Church and such, there would truly be no retirement at all.  We'd not want that and I'm sure that's not what YOU meant. I hate it when others speak for me and don't represent me accurately.  Actually I hate it when they do represent me accurately but that's another story I suppose.

 

Blessings and love to you all.  Let's Surprise God like Ted Johnston likes to do and handle this quickly and as Jesus would.  Since that crazy Jesus tricked me into coming into that nutty Wildworld Church of God, the least He can do is give us a glass of cool water getting over it all.

 

Thank you so much.  I can't wait to share your response with just a few close friends.

 

Warm regards in Him

 

Dennis Diehl

High Priest of Marduk

DenniscDiehl@aol.com   

Apostle Malm: "I'm Pouring Myself Out To Establish Credibility"

Armstrongism has a long tradition of men attempting to establish themselves with credible testimony and prophetic words.  So far every single one of them have turned out to be abysmal failures, liars and false prophets.  They came bearing slick words that sounded soothing and credible to some listeners trained in the catch phrases of Armstrongism.

Now, we are being retreated to James Malm who admits that he has been trying to 'establish doctrinal credibility." over the last several months.

I would have covered this before Passover. I just felt that I needed to establish some doctrinal credibility and build up to this with the Passover, Calendar, ULB, etc ariticles that I have been posting for the past two months, building a proper foundation first. I have been working very hard, pouring myself out daily; sometimes some things need a proper foundation before they are presented, to make them easier to understand. James

When you hear COG men saying this you can be guaranteed that soon they will be starting a splinter cult somewhere in the United States.  The US seems to be fertile ground for religious wackos seeking equally wacky followers who agree with their wacky message.

Apostle Malm has slowly been writing paper after paper, article after article, that are filled with COG specific doctrines.  He has been setting himself up as an authority on all things spiritual.  None of the COG's is keeping any of the holy days or sabbath right in his sight.  Therefore, they are all apostate laodicians who no longer hold all truth.  Only Apostle Malm is privy to the real truth on how things should be.

Like HWA. Meredith and other COG ministers, Apostle Malm does not hold information in commentaries or by non-COG writers to be worthy of checking out.  Knowledge cannot be gained by these men or their commentaries.

I do not hold with commentaries writtn by unconverted men as the Mishna. There is no difference between “servile’ and work of any kind. No work is to be done on any High Day or Sabbath: that would include cooking. Food preparation was allowed as Israel came out of Egypt as an “ox in the ditch”. That does not justify food preparation on other Holy Days nor on future ULB High Days. James

Like Ronnie Weinland, Apostle Malm does not like to be mocked.  So far he has not called fire down from heaven to consume his mockers like Weinland and Steven's have.  It's only a matter of time though.

It really seems that you are the sarcastic one; and that is one thing that causes serious and unnecessary offenses. I warn that I have no patience for unwarranted mocking. The 144,000 are sealed AFTER the tribulation [between the 6th and 7th seals]. What about all the other saints from Abel till now? I will be getting to this when I get back into prophecy. The world does NOT revolve around us; God has many others! 1 Ti 5;19 “Against an elder receive not an accusation, but before two or three witnesses. 20Them that sin rebuke before all, that others also may fear.” One must put all scripture together to see the whole picture. All elders that have a proven sin are to be publicly rebuked before all. James

I love how Armstrongism has produced a legion of men who think they are 'holier than thou.'  They have attained all knowledge that is relevant for salvation.  They know exactly what God wants.  They know who is in and who is out (you and most of the rest of the world). The best thing of all is that they continue to be made out to be fools.

Apostle Malm Lays Down the Law!

Apostle Malm is laying his theology for his cult out plain and simple for all to see.  The more laws you keep the better God will like you, any maybe even Jesus too.  And, if you are really, really good at keeping ALL the law then maybe God might send a little portion of hte Holy Spirit to you.  Be careful though, you can loose the HS at your slightest sin.

Apostle Malm is commanding that the DUB and FT are to be kept in their entirety without any work for any sort.  You can fix simple meals and do 'necessary' things, but no work!  Apostle Malm is like so many in the various harlot daughters that are trying to revert back to the original teachings of HWA.  HWA originally held seven day UB's where people traveled to Belknap Springs, OR for UB for seven days.  Then in the fall they traveled for eight days for the FOT.

Apostle Malm seems to think his words carry some kind of weight in COGdom.  He, and he alone, is the only person really preaching the truth now.  UCG, COGWA, LCG, PCG, etc are all wishy-washy compromising sinners who fail to keep every single law his 'god' demands.

Yesterday I introduced the fact the the Feast of Unleavends is commanded  to be observed for a full seven days. 

The Feast of Unleavends is the seven days during which Israel journeyed out of Egypt.  For five full days they traveled and on the night beginning the sixth day the wind blew all through the night dividing the Red Sea and providing a means of escape.  On the sixth day Israel entered the sea and passed over dry shod.  As the sixth day ended Israel looked back for their persuers and the persuers were nowhere to be seen; having been swallowed up by the sea.  Then began the seventh day; a High Holy Day of great rejoicing over the victory given by God.


Notice; On the first day [a High Holy Day] they left their homes in Egypt and they were fleeing for the whole six days to rejoice on the seventh.  They did NOT just observe the First and Last Days!  On EVERY day they were fleeing and that has its lessons for us; this Feast is not just about two days; it is about the whole seven days.

 So all of you pagan COG churches out there that only keep the first and last days of UB and then send everyone home to do their normal work are heretics and grievous sinners!  You are sending your members home so they can enjoy the every day things in life that they do all the time instead of sitting in a sweltering Odd Fellow's Hall listening to some uneducated preacher drone on and on for three miserable hours about nothing.

When we return to doing our own thing during the intervening days: Where are our minds focused?  Where are our hearts and spirits truly focused?  Certainly not exclusively on God!  God wants our attention so that he can spend time with us and teach and rejoice with him; and we can be with  each other; encouraging and learning from one another! How Wonderful!

 The only 'work' you are permitted to do according to Apostle Malm, is seven days of intensive Bible study.

The whole seven days are a time to be spent with God in intense study; drinking in the very mind of Christ through study, fellowship and mutual spiritual instruction and support.  Yes this pictures the need to put sin OUT and take Christ IN throughout our lives;  if we do not do this through the Feast; that picture pales and is greatly diminished.  We do this through the WHOLE seven days as a proper picture of the need to do so without slacking, throughout our lives.

 Only work essential for the Festival such as food preparation and basic needs should be done during the Non Sabbath days of the Spring and Fall Festivals.

 More disrupted school days for your kids.  More jobs lost because you will need a SECOND vacation for religious reasons.  On and on the legalistic list of unnecessary rules and regulations goes and the ramifications it has on those people who decide to follow this silliness.  More 'martyrs' for the 'word' of another fake 'apostle.'

Dad...Why Does the Preacher Talk So Stupid?

Dad...Why Does the Preacher Talk So Stupid?  

When it comes to fundamentalist preachers, there is nothing quite like the way they choose to express themselves from the pulpit. What they say, in and of itself, can be quite amazing. Such as the recent flap with Mrs. Benny Hinn, tryng her darndest to give a ranting good sermon for the masses and making a complete fool out of herself. In the typical breathless rant of evangelical showmanship, she told the audience what they needed was "a Holy Ghost enema, right up your rear end."

Honest, that was what she said and she repeated it. She then went on to tell the audience not to be "butt kissers." Having realized that she probably had crossed a few too many lines, she tried to recover by saying that people like her just have that kind of humor but was too late and the tape spread around the world, and not in a good way. She then went into a pacing frenzy back and forth until she broke her shoe and told the audience they didn't need shoes anyway, they needed to put on combat boots for Jesus. I guess this got her out of the shoe breakage embarassment. The end came merciful when she fell flat on her face, on stage, and everyone started clapping as if this was of God and the perfect ending to a perfect sermon. It was pathetic and the scary part is that not one person in the audience got up and said "I'm out of here." They loved it.

The fact is that nothing she said in the "sermon" was helpful. Nothing she said was correct and practically nothing she said was anythng but an attempt to appear inspiring and ending up being absolutely foolish. Poor Mr. Hinn was so angry that the video was playing around the world, he threatened those who showed it, from what I understand. I don't blame him. What a time at the 'ol breakfast table next day that must have been!

What is it about fundamentalist preachers that some seemingly have to loose their minds and common sense in an avalanche of "techniques" that leave most educated people laughing themselves sick? Do they not realize they are being laughed at?

When a preacher tells the audience that the reason Bathsheba was called Bathsheba was due to the fact that as King David oggled her from the roof top, she was taking a BATH, something is seriously wrong. 

I'm not kidding, I heard it with my own ears and wrote the man suggesting that had she been taking a shower, we would have known her as SHOWER-Sheba. The man was simply ignorant and I almost drove off the road laughing. On the other hand, it was pathetic and I often wonder if any in his congregation called him out on that little piece of ignorance. Sometimes I wonder at the audience more than the preacher.

Of course, Bat-Sheba means "daughter of Sheba just as "Bar Kochba means "Son of Kochba" and when I pointed that out, he just got miffed.  

What can be said from the pulpit can be amazingly silly or incredibly harmful. Pat Robertson tells us that hurricanes are from God punishing New Orleans or that Ariel Sharon's stroke is from God for giving up part of the West Bank to people who also need a real place to live. His comments are wrong, ignorant, foolish and dangerous.
  
But then most of his comments speaking for God are. He suddenly saw the light (most will do that when you challenge a particular piece of ignorance and never do when never challenged) when the State of Israel cancelled his affiliation with them and one of his pet projects in Israel, but it was too late. Good for them to put a price on speaking foolishness from the pulpit. I guess the State of Israel was able to uninspire Pat's inspired comments. God, I suppose, was forced to recind His inspiration and give into the current dilemma.

Time would fail to account for all the ignorance that comes from the pulpits of men and women not trained, not educated, not informed and not accountable for their presentations. Sanctified ignorance is still ignorance as far as we can tell.

There were dinosaurs on the ark...wrong
Earth is just 6000 years old...wrong
Our church is the only true church on earth...wrong
Evolution is a doctrine of Satan...wrong
Dancin is a doctrine of Satan...wrong
Whatever you ask in Jesus name, you will have...wrong
"I am God's true representative on earth and I am compelled to say these things..." wrong
If you tithe, God will bless you and pour out the windows of heaven to you...wrong
God is doing this...wrong
God is doing that...wrong
Jesus thinks this of that...wrong
Jesus thinks that of this...wrong
"I know I am going very long on this sermon..but you need to hear this..." wrong
"You need to put the Church and bible study and being here first in your life..." wrong

...and on and on and on such that it would behove most preachers of this way of being to join On and On Anonymous!

Perhaps most irritating and pathetic of all is the WAY that many Evangelical, TV and Fundamentalist preachers present themselves. What's with the cadance from hell in the presentation? What's with the "eh" "eh" "eh" at the end of every sentence. I realize physiologically it helps them breath or they would pass out, and while it may be "tradition" it is past useful for educated parishioners. Maybe that's the problem too.

What's with the yelling? Always yelling and always giving the appearance that they are angry. Preachers are angry a lot as they think they can't be a Preacher without their righteous indignation showing for every last thing on the planet they decide is evil and needs the iron rod of Jesus to smack down.

I listened to a preacher this morning coming in to work just to see if he would pass out and go absolutely speechless trying to yell, speak and breathe at the same time. I don't think he missed one human foible in his presentation that he was not bashing his congregation over the head with. Sometimes I sense "me thinks thou protesteth too much." I have learned that far more often than one thinks, just monitor what topics the preacher rails upon repeatedly and you might have a good hint at what troubles his own ignorant soul. Every minister in my personal experience who was known to rail against this or that "sex problem" was wrestling with it himself. Projection is something that most congregants of fundamentalist preachers don't understand.

No one can slaughter the English language like a preacher gone berserk behind the pulpit. Imagine a meeting at IBM or the Oval Office (well there I can ;), conducted in that tone and style and you will find someone being escorted off the premisis looking for a new job.

Sermons are full of nonsensical phrases and pronounciations. If you were to write down what was said and read it back, it would sound ridiculous. From "Jaaa..eeeeeezus says," to "days (there is) a time a commin..." an intelligent and meaningful presentation is lost in a flurry of emotion and slobber. HOW you say something for many preachers far outweighs whether what one says is even true. Remember, in fact, science by nature of being science has to be accurate and admit mistakes. At this moment, we have some very embarassed and angry South Korean scientists who have found out and admitted that their recent cloaning projects were bogus. Sorry about that, but good for them.

Preachers not only rarely admit to mistakes, but seem to have a need to perpetuate the error. Since God is never wrong, they never are not wrong either, since they think they both speak and are inspired by this outside force called "God." Simply ask yourself how many times you have ever heard a preacher or church say it was wrong when it said this or that and you will understand what I mean. Because of this, many fundamentalist sermons are delivered in angry, emotional, threatening and self righteous tones. I can only imagine what some of the kids are thinking as they watch the show. Often they will tell you years later how nuts the church the grew up in was.
Every scientific fact that the church has ever made fun of as being contradicted by the Bible, they have eventually had to admit to being correct. Of course, many do not, and never will, Praise Jesus for my ignorance because "the wisdom of man is foolishness with God," and "my ways are not YOUR ways..saith the Lord." Preachers hid a lot of ignorance behind those two quotes.

It just took the Pope 350 years to apologize for almost burning Galileo at the stake for thinking earth was not the center of the solar system and the sun circled it. He didn't apologize for actually doing it to nameless others. Science has yet to acknowledge one Biblical allegory as being literally true in their actual findings. Eventually, the "facts" the church promotes in areas where they don't know what they are talking about, falls to the real facts.
More so now in these days of easy access to the internet for information not formerly available to the average person.


And so sometimes we have to ask ourselves, "what is our chillins learning in Church from such preachers?"

For starters, they are learning:

Yelling trumps teaching.

Good grammar doesn't count in church.

God is a consuming fire if you question the preacher.

Emotions trump good information.

One can be ill-programmed for life and not realize it.

Brains and YOUR intelligence and common sense indeed can be checked at the door when you go to your church.

Preachers are never wrong.

YOU are seldom right.

"Jaaaaaaheeeezus" loves the sinner but hates the sin, but it sure sounds like he hates the sinner too.
Mom or Dad never seem to think what I think the preacher says and does is stupid..something must be wrong with me.

God and Jesus must be raving lunatics if this man or woman is his personal representative on earth to me.
Narcissism must be a spiritual gift.

Take some time and just listen to the words of those that fit these ways of speaking for God. Watch the antics they feel they have to use to convince. If your head says "it must be so" while your tummy says "no no no", go with the tummy. It will tell you the truth of what you are feeling more accurately and you won't feel like something is wrong with you for observing that, while sincere, this man is really not qualified to teach me who and what God is and what he is or isn't doing on good 'ol planet earth. You'll also be able to more genuinely answer the question your kids are asking themselves, whether you know it or not. "Dad, why is the preacher yelling, and why does he talk so funny?"

  Dennis C. Diehl

DenniscDiehl@aol.com

The Two Witless Witnesses: Men In Black?

Chiropractor/naturopath/end time prophet/self proclaimed authority on 2012 and  the COG, Bob Thiel claims that the two witnesses are sitting in the Living Church of God right now.  Who they are he has no idea, but the only logical explanation is that only LCG could produce those two righteous people.  Anyone outside LCG is an ignorant fool and is to be ignored.

Of course, I do believe that God will raise up the two witnesses, and I believe that they are alive now.  However, I believe that they are very likely to be part of the Living Church of God, so when I get emails from people outside of the COG who make such claims (and who never have any real proof, just assertions) I feel that they can safely be eliminated from consideration.

 .
He claims to have gotten a letter recently from a man and his daughter claiming to be the two witness, as well as from another person

He then launches into the two witless witnesses Ronnie Weinland and his wife. At least Bob has the brains to see the witless witnesses as the complete morons they are.


But, then goes on to say that whenever the witnesses arrive on the scene they will be wearing some kind of dark clothing:

3 I clothe the heavens with blackness, And I make sackcloth their covering (Isaiah 50:3).
12 I looked when He opened the sixth seal, and behold, there was a great earthquake; and the sun became black as sackcloth of hair, and the moon became like blood (Revelation 6:12).

The implication in the above scriptures is that biblical sackcloth is black–thus it seems that the two witnesses wear some cloth that is black, hence my use of the Men in Black photo at the beginning of this article.

 While it is remotely possible that the two witnesses will not wear actual physical sackcloth, Revelation 11:13 is not speaking of just humility, but specifically that the clothing of the two witnesses will not be fancy–probably in contrast to the beast, who is likely to be flashy/wealthy in appearance.And in particular, I also suspect that the two witnesses actually will sometimes wear some literal sackcloth, at least at times. And that they will wear at least some black while they are publicly warning the world.