Mr. and Mrs. Weinerdude Cannot Die!

The Two Witless Witnesses

Armstrongisms' biggest fool has opened his mouth and made an ass of himself yet again.  According to Mike (Don't Drink the Flavor Aid) Weinerdude claims that the two witnesses cannot die.

Apparently the two witless witnesses have been living through great persecution over the last 3 1/2 years.  With the coming of Christ at the end of May this year, the two witless witnesses will have fulfilled their commission.  Mr and Mrs. Weinerdude will be come god like God is now.

Weineerdude writes:

The two witnesses will not be killed in the literal city of Jerusalem.  And their dead bodies will not lie in the streets for 3 1/2 days.  God’s two witnesses will live right up to the coming of Jesus Christ, coming to this earth as the king of kings.  This 3 1/2 days spoken of here about the two witnesses is fully about the past nearly 3 1/2 years, what we have been living.

That kind of flies in the face of what Weinerdude wrote in his comedic book on prophecy 2008 God's Final Witness.

It is now with boldness, confidence and great clarity that I give to you what God has given me. I am to announce, through God's direct revelation, that I am one of those two witnesses. The other witness will be revealed to the world during the time of the great tribulation—within the final three and one-half years of man’s era. During that period of time, we will, together, completely fulfill all that God has given us to witness to this whole earth. Then, at the end, we will die in the streets of Jeruslaem; and finally, exactly three and one-half days later, we will be resurrected (Revelation 11). The world will see this resurrection via television. At this same time Jesus Christ will appear in the heavens above the earth as He is returning to take the reigns of man’s government on earth. (Weinland R. 2008: God’s Final Witness, p. 16)

Weinerdude later names Mrs. Weinerdude as the second witless witness. Do they die or not die, that is the question.  With any luck Weinderdude will be imprisoned by the IRS before that time.

Dave Pack Names His Persecutors

Mike (Don't Drink The Flavor Aid) did what I had no desire to do; he listened to Dave Pack's mind boggling sermon that was posted today on where Dave reveals who the "synagogue of Satan" is.

Dave writes (in the first person):

What is the Synagogue of Satan? Who are they? Do its members meet as a group? Is it a particular organization? Was it the WCG apostates? Is it false Christianity? Or something else? Can we know—conclusively? How do its members “blaspheme”? What does it mean “say they are Jews”?—and how do they “lie”? These imposters are shown to persecute Philadelphia at the end. How do they do this? And how do their actions relate to you?

Mr. Pack states, “I cannot think of a more important sermon for God’s people at the end of the age. Every member in LCG, UCG, COGwa, PCG and COGaic—but also those in every splinter and sliver!—should hear it, and probably more than once. The listener will almost certainly want to do this.”

 So who did Davey name as those vile, filthy, apostate tools of Satan?

Mike writes:

Clarion Call Dave posted his latest sermon, naming those in the Synagogue of Satan. (Starting around 1:55 into the file) Named Meredith, Flurry, & a bunch of Misters in UCG/CoGWA. And a couple of bloggers. But none of us made the cut -- he named Thielogical Bob and Pharisee James. We'll have to try harder :-D

I find it funny that those named are the COGgers who think they know all, and not those of us that mock and ridicule Dave's stupid teachings. We are getting the opportunity to sit back and watch the COG's devour their own.

Vidal: Big Bad Meanies Are Persecuting The Restored Church of God

Brother Vidal is back from Dave Packs reeducation camp with more tales of woe and persecution.  The persecution of the Restored Church of God seems to be particularly horrendous at this point in time.  Even though they live in nice homes, have plenty of food on their tables, travel freely around the country in the latest model of car, have tens of thousands of dollars in the bank, they are being persecuted for their beliefs. Really!  I have not read about their Masonic Lodges getting blown up for having church there, or the Elks Lodges, or the high school gyms. I haven't read about any car bombs going off in front of RCG's church services or gunmen  storming their meeting halls and killing their members.

I've got news for Vidal and Davey; THIS is what religious persecution looks like for REAL Christians:

So what kind of terrible persecution is Vidal and his cronies going through at the Restored Church of God at this time?

 This is the big bad meanie persecution they are suffering from:

It is not surprising that after this website was launched, haters of God started attacking every minister posting here. The spate of attacks vividly brought to my remembrance a foundational scripture: “That I may know Him, and the power of His resurrection, and the fellowship of His sufferings, being made conformable to His death” (Phil. 4:10). This verse has truly come alive!

This is particularly galling to hear coming from Vidal when he comes from Africa where Christians are being killed at a horrendous rates in some nations. But then COG logic dictates that these "so-called Christans" are not real Christians because they are not sabbath keepers, followers of Dave Pack or Herbert Armstrong.  It is disgusting for this moron to even assume he is being persecuted!

He continues:

But contrary to what these enemies of God may be thinking, we are utterly grateful to God for giving us the wonderful and exceptional opportunity to share in a tiny fraction of Jesus’ sufferings. For us, it is a great pleasure to gladly submit ourselves to this situation rather than receive the vain attention and praises or commendations of men. 

I can guarantee that if real persecution came to the Restored Church of God, Dave Pack would be the first one high-tailing it down the freeway as he leaves his staff to bear the brunt of the persecution.  HWA did it when he fled to Tuscon and Dave will do it too.


These are what Vidal and Davey see as great persecutors of the Restored Church of God:

If Vidal and Davey think that this blog and others are agents of persecution then they certainly follow a weak, impotent little god.

Blogs and web sites filled with snarky little comments is persecution!  Who knew!

By all of us being snarky and making fun of their stupid assumptions; they see this as PROOF they are God's greatest gift to the universe.

...the evil reports that have been circulated about us since we started this site validate us. If haters had commended or agreed with us, then something would have been wrong. Christ has made it clear that any such commendation would be to our shame. But the fact that they do not speak well of us is as it should be. Again, it is such evil reports that validate true ministers! “Blessed are you, when men shall hate you, and when they shall separate you from their company, and shall reproach you, and cast out your name as evil, for the Son of man’s sake” (Luke 6:22).

That we are detested gives us comfort that we are doing the right thing and are in the right place. In reality, we are better off when they defame, rail at, chide, taunt and try to represent us as evil.

Then Vidal take a giant leap into absurdness.  He equates their persecution with Jesus being tortured an killed:

Being offered the opportunity to taste a tiny sliver of what Christ went through, what His apostles and true servants have gone through over the millennia, what Mr. Armstrong went through in His 52-year ministry, what His 21^st century apostle has been going through, and what other faithful ministers of His are currently passing through is a unique privilege, and we are thankful to the Father for having us go through this process, and making it possible for us to truly count it all joy (I Pet. 4:13).

Their own words damn them.  Stupid little people.

You can read Vidal's silliness here:  Evil Reports Validate True Ministers