Ron Weinland the Imprisoned Felon/False Prophet Says the End Starts Next Week and That He Hopes to Be Out Of Jail by Passover

Armstrongism's best loved imprisoned felon has written a screed to his followers from behind the unforgiving bars of prison.  This is really his first public announcement to his remaining blind faithful that his pathetic criminal ass is sitting in jail.  Word has it that his jail mate Bubbalicious was his scribe.

Today, the imprisoned false prophet wrote to his followers:

God’s judgment upon his people, given through Jeremiah, was largely about the end-time. The consequences of that judgment are severe and far greater than most can grasp. As it has often been stated and needs to be repeated here, it is only through such suffering that the nations of Israel can be humbled and brought to repentance.

Is the imprisoned felon trying to tell his followers that he is in the process of being humbled and being brought to repentance?  Since Armstrongism has always claimed most prophecies had a dual purpose, is this really what the felon is admitting?  Has he finally realized what an arrogant, pompous, lying ass he has been over the years?  I am not going to hold my breath, but maybe he was too stupid to realize what he wrote.

Though the nations of Israel have suffered through various wars and natural disasters, they have never experienced it to the magnitude of what is now rapidly approaching. Although it has been generally short lived, there have been large numbers of people who were humbled by such events. As God said, they were ever backsliding. Humility does not long endure in the heart of man.

Rampaging Germans, hordes of Chinese, slaughtering Muslims, and a miracle working Pope....who else does he have in mind? It’s the same tired load of bullshit we have heard from the mouths of Armstrongite ministers for over 70 years.

Did you know the tribulation will be a beautiful and glorious thing?  The convicted felon continues:

The result of this world being humbled by great tribulation is far more beautiful and glorious than any can imagine, yet it will not come easy. Prophecies given through the prophets reveal a horrifying time of judgment that must come upon this earth. Thankfully, in His great mercy, God has mightily condensed the time for such suffering.

There now is no hope for the British Israelite nations.  It’s too late to do anything how.

As was stated in a previous post, God’s Church believes we are in the final prophetic day in which God’s end-time judgment will be executed. But when will it begin in earnest? We watch and seek to be on guard spiritually, just as God’s Church has always been admonished to do. As each day passes all should strive to draw closer to God, as some of the greatest “spirit” battles are yet to be waged. Those battles have already been intensifying since we entered this prophetic day. Satan knows his time is quickly running out.

For all practical purposes, time has run out for the nations of Israel. Their governments wallow in confusion and there is no soundness in judgment. There is no ability to address their economies, which even much of the rest of the world sees as coming to an end.

Because the end is here, many of convicted felon Weinerdude's followers are trying to remain close to home so they are not separated from each other.

Admonition to God’s Church:
God’s Church foresees the quick beginning of the end for the nations of Israel once the Second Trumpet sounds. Prophets, apostles, and all of God’s people have always desired to know more specifics concerning the timing of final events. Now that we are so close and time remaining is so short, our desire to know more is still just as great. That is good if we “act” upon that knowledge God has given concerning just how fast time is closing in.

Indeed at some point soon, this world is going to be cast into great chaos. In the past few years, many have made plans with this final timing in mind. The example of making travel plans helps to magnify that point of concern about the timing of the Second Trumpet. Most have desired to be close to home when that event happens. That concern is greater now than ever before in all our planning as we seek to be as prepared as we believe we can. The bottom line is that our lives are in God’s care no matter where we are and how much planning we do. There is no better place to be! All prayers should reflect such desire and gratitude, for the Second Trumpet is closing in.

To reinforce his roll as a supposed prophet of God, he gets all biblical on us:

Truly, truly, now is the time to be on guard, far more than ever. These are not just words because the time before us is most urgent. This is strong admonition to those who have ears to hear.

According to the imprisoned felon we are just days away from war.  Death and destruction loom on the horizon.  Noon time will be happening next week, and then it is all downhill from there!  Get your Petra Packs ready!  Don’t have any more babies. Sell everything for the final push!

So, going back to the beginning, I stated that I was struck by words that God spoke to Jeremiah. Speaking of preparing war to come upon Israel, it was stated that it should come up at noon and that “woe” would follow as the shadows continue to lengthen to the end of the day.

I was struck by this timing and could not help but consider how we must ever be so diligent all the way up until God’s Kingdom is established. Next week we will already be at noon in this Day of the Lord. From that point, the shadows of the day will grow longer until this day is fulfilled. We are to ever be on guard and ready spiritually and so much more as time continues to close in.

Then the imprisoned felon finally admits he is in jail. But then claims he hopes to be out by Passover. But if his followers are not sufficiently prepared God will delay the end times yet again.  This concerns the humble false prophet and felon.  Weinerdude wants his followers to know that he loves them soooooooooooooooooo much that he is concerned that they will not be allowed to keep Passover this year.  If have news for Ron's followers, you CAN keep your Passover this year because not one thing Ron has told you is true.

As several prophets and some apostles before me, I am imprisoned, but soon will be freed, as will all of mankind, and that is all by God’s purpose and power. It is with that in mind that I realize that if the sounding of the trumpets does not resume until after Passover that I likely will not be allowed to observe it in the manner Christ prescribed; however, my thoughts have not been about my inability to do so, but of yours, for the Second Trumpet could easily sound soon.

Such considerations are sobering and indeed they should be. So all should be moved by such soberness of mind and “act” more fully and more zealously upon the knowledge God has entrusted to you.

Apostle Malm: New Pope Will Be Doing Miracles By October

Apostle Malm is all in a dither right now with the upcoming resignation of the Pope.  Buying into the mindless fantasies of Fatima and Malaky, apostle Malm believes this will be the last Pope that will usher in the persecution of TRUE Christians, forced work on Saturdays, and the setting up of the abomination of desolation in Jerusalem.  Then once you see the Pope in Jerusalem you will know that there are exactly 1,335 days left till Jesus Christ comes to wreck vengeance upon the pagan world.

At the same time the resignation of Benedict XVI opens the way for a younger charismatic pope to take the reigns and begin to deceive the world’s people into regarding him as an ultimate moral authority.  A very important occasion being World Youth Day in Rio in late July.

The assembled cardinals will want a new pope who can electrify the world from Rio, where vast numbers will be gathered to hear the pope, and millions more will watch from around the world.  The fact that he will be new will generate even more interest.

The final pope should already have immense popularity,  when, he is empowered to do miracles as the final abomination as early as early Oct.

Dan 12 tells us that from the time the abomination is set up [doing miracles with the power of Satan], there will be a maximum of 1,335 days until Christ comes to set up the Kingdom of his Father over all the earth.

The apostle then goes on to warn all COG folk out there that their asses are on the line and are set to be destroyed unless they join up with him.  Jesus Christ is really, really pissed at the COG!

While the war and a peace deal may be very quick, or may take into 2014;  it is certain that we are in the last days before the vast majority of today’s COG Groups are rejected by Christ and the tribulation begins.

Of course every good prophet needs some wiggle room:

It is possible that another interim pope will be selected, but the signs of the times strongly indicate that this coming pope will be the last one and will become empowered by Satan at the appointed time; quite possibly in early Oct this year, or a year later.

Meteor Explodes in Russia and Non Ordained False Prophet Thiel Finds Biblical Significance In It

An extraordinary event happened in Russia.  A meteor exploded over a populated area causing injury and damage.  Immediately the false prophets of Armstrongism jumped into prophecy mode and used it as a sure sign of approaching doom and gloom. Did you know that meteors/comets could also be the prophesied "wormwood" from revelation?

The non-ordained false prophet  Robert Thiel was the first to jump on the band wagon since he, and he alone, is the worlds foremost authority on prophecy.  The desperately seeking to be recognized false prophet  said:

Despite the relatively small odds of a significantly large asteroid hitting the earth this century, something from space, probably an asteroid or a comet, is prophesied to do so.
Over 1900 years ago, the Apostle John was inspired to write the following in the Book of Revelation 8:10-11:

Then the third angel sounded: And a great star fell from heaven, burning like a torch, and it fell on a third of the rivers and on the springs of water. The name of the star is Wormwood. A third of the waters became wormwood, and many men died from the water, because it was made bitter.

A large comet hitting the earth would also seem to have similar effects to that of a medium-sized asteroid.  And having something actually hit the earth and do massive damage is predicted in the Bible.

Although the biblical Wormwood does not have to be a comet, and possibly could be an asteroid (or at least possibly come from the asteroid belt), it sounds more like a comet than an asteroid.

Why?

In addition to looking like a star falling from the heavens looking like a torch (and an asteroid could possibly do that), comets normally appear with cyanogen. Astronomers state hydrogen cyanide on comets may be their source of cyanogen gas.

Interestingly, the cyanogen gas mixes with water to form hydrogen cyanide, which has an almond odor and bitter taste, and reportedly causes death at concentrations over 5 parts per million.
And thus for Bible skeptics, the fact that before humans had any idea that comets could produce a poisonous bitter water, it is recorded in the Bible. This should be additional proof to those willing to see that the Bible has been inspired by God.

And while comets are still more likely to fulfill the Wormwood prophecy than asteroids, humans still have no real effective way to deal with potential asteroid devastation, and some day, a major object from the sky will strike the earth according to biblical prophecy.

NASA scientists now know that at least 1,000 nearby asteroids could do that, and have long known that certain comets could do this as well.

And part of Russia today, got to experience just a small foretaste of what objects from outer space can do.