"Whatta Ya Mean... Yes YOU Know?"
2013 AD Job Update
Job 38
New International Version (NIV)
38 Then the Lord spoke to Job out of the storm and said:
2 “Who is this that obscures my plans
with words
without knowledge?
3 Brace yourself like a man;
I will question
you,
and you shall
answer me.
Yes sir, It's me Dennis. Not meaning to offend sir. Ok, I will give my best answers sir.
4 “Where were you when I laid the earth’s foundation?
Tell me, if you
understand.
I wasn't here yet sir. That was a very long time ago as
you well know.
5 Who marked off its dimensions? Surely you know!
Who stretched a
measuring line across it?
With all due respect sir:
6 On what were its footings set,
or who laid its
cornerstone
Well sir, it has taken some time but I think we got this
figured out now.
7 while the morning stars sang together
and all the
angels shouted for joy
Well sir, I can't speak for that part. I wasn't there and
I can't see or hear them.
I do know that Venus is the real son of the morning star
and when it falls back to...oh never mind.
8 “Who shut up the sea behind doors
when it burst
forth from the womb,
9 when I made the clouds its garment
and wrapped it
in thick darkness,
10 when I fixed limits for it
and set its
doors and bars in place,
11 when I said, ‘This far you may come and no farther;
here is where
your proud waves halt’?
Yes sir, I know what you mean. It is awesome. I believe we do understand that now and the
burst from the womb concept as well.
Amazing really sir!
12 “Have you ever given orders to the morning,
or shown the
dawn its place,
13 that it might take the earth by the edges
and shake the
wicked out of it ?
No sir, I have never commanded the sun to rise. It would
not do it if I did. But I believe it would do it even if I didn't, with all due
respect. As for shaking the wicked out
of it, well that's not my think or job I suppose.
14 The earth takes shape like clay under a seal;
its features
stand out like those of a garment.
15 The wicked are denied their light,
and their
upraised arm is broken.
Yes sir, I don't quite know what you mean by this but
could you ask me more questions?
16 “Have you journeyed to the springs of the sea
or walked in
the recesses of the deep?
Oh Yes sir we have!
It is just awesome and not a little bit scary but we got this one down
pat.
17 Have the gates of death been shown to you?
Have you seen
the gates of the deepest darkness?
18 Have you comprehended the vast expanses of the earth?
Tell me, if you
know all this.
Well, again sir, with all due respect, Yes, it has all
been shown to us. Amazing place we have here!
19 “What is the way to the abode of light?
And where does
darkness reside?
20 Can you take them to their places?
Do you know the
paths to their dwellings?
Yes sir, I believe so sir.
21 Surely you know, for you were already born!
You have lived
so many years!
Ok Sir, I think you can stop with the sarcasm. I know my
place in the whole scheme of your things.
22 “Have you entered the storehouses of the snow
or seen the
storehouses of the hail
23 which I reserve for times of trouble,
for days of war
and battle?
Well, I don't know about the reserve for times of trouble
or war and battles, but yes, I know where both snow and hail are stored and
come from.
24 What is the way to the place where the lightning is
dispersed,
or the place
where the east winds are scattered over the earth?
25 Who cuts a channel for the torrents of rain,?
and a path for
the thunderstorm,
26 To water a land where no one lives,
an uninhabited
desert,
27 to satisfy a desolate wasteland
and make it
sprout with grass?
28 Does the rain have a father?
Who fathers the
drops of dew?
Well sir, again, yes, we understand that now low these
2500 years later or more, depending.
Sir? Are you
getting annoyed with me?
29 From whose womb comes the ice?
Who gives birth
to the frost from the heavens
30 when the waters become hard as stone,
when the
surface of the deep is frozen?
Oh oh! I know that
one!
31 “Can you bind the chains] of the Pleiades?
Can you loosen
Orion’s belt?
32 Can you bring forth the constellations in their
seasons
or lead out the
Bear] with its cubs?
Well no sir, I can't do that. It's just too big and too
far away and I am just a man. But we do know what they are and how seasons
work! It's awesome to say the least!
33 Do you know the laws of the heavens?
No sir, not in the way others do but we do understand a
lot more than we used to.
Can you set up
God’s dominion over the earth?
34 “Can you raise your voice to the clouds
and cover
yourself with a flood of water?
35 Do you send the lightning bolts on their way?
Do they report
to you, ‘Here we are’?
No Sir, I can't command these things to happen, they just
do happen and I know how they happen and why.
Sir, you're getting cheeky with me again.
36 Who gives the ibis wisdom?
or gives the
rooster understanding?
37 Who has the wisdom to count the clouds?
Who can tip
over the water jars of the heavens
38 when the dust becomes hard
and the clods
of earth stick together?
Yes sir, I understand. Not me for sure but we do know
where they get their instincts
39 “Do you hunt the prey for the lioness
and satisfy the
hunger of the lions
40 when they crouch in their dens
or lie in wait
in a thicket?
41 Who provides food for the raven
when its young
cry out to God
and wander
about for lack of food?
Well sir, I guess they just know what other creatures they like to eat and go get them.
No, I don't hunt for them or provide their food.
I have a Shih Tzu though and yes I do provide her food.
She's hilarious.
Sir? Sir? Are you still there? Where did you go?
I'll be back later Dennis. I gotta think this through a bit. Maybe I'm
asking the wrong questions for this day and age. Stay tuned.
But you did good!
I like you!
