Thursday, October 3, 2013

Dennis has a day off with too much time...

God Organizing for Another Try at Getting Some Attention
"Behold, I will smite you with mildew, mold and mushrooms mostly in the Fall.  Verily, I will try to get your attention and if not this, then the Iceman cometh."
(I made this scripture up...)
Gives out daily itinerary for a run at unbelievers and scoffers in the Southeast US. 

Satellite image of Tropical Storm Karen in the Yucatan Channel. (NASA)
"Tropical Storm Karen has formed in the Gulf of Mexico and will move into the southern United States this weekend with heavy rain, gusty winds and rough seas.
Karen will continue to move along a curved northward path over the central Gulf of Mexico through Friday and will most likely make landfall along the upper Gulf Coast Saturday night.
There is a chance Karen becomes a hurricane before making landfall."

The Deity gives behinds the scenes look at just how this weak, but you take what you get, run on the pagans will shape up... The purple "wind shear" is obviously a blocking move by Satan or , since this is a lesser kind of try, a lesser demon but the Deity is using the block to divert it right where it needs to go. 

Once this storm gets to the Mid Atlantic States it will be termed a blessing since they need the rain. 
Deity explains it takes a lot of planning to try this so please don't try this at home!
This trying storm is minimal and not expected to be the big whammy try, but it is headed right over Greenville, SC so I'm not stupid.  I know why this storm is coming this way.  I have checked with every one of my 16 friends and they all agree.  NEVER have I had such unanimous agreement and NOT ONE of my friends disagreed with me.  I also did a lot of study on this and I know that much time in study makes me correct.  If you notice, right over upstate South Carolina, right on top of Greenville is a "D"   I think this an obvious reference to myself.  Yes brethren, I am the "D".  Next week I will give 36 reasons why I know this to be true. There are other reasons why I believe I am correct in being the target of this weak try, but I cannot reveal them to you at this time.  Besides, I have given you enough and if this is not convincing, I cannot help you.  If this was not to be understood with this storm then why would it be revealed just prior to this storm?  We'd not be able to know which storm the Deity was trying to get our attention with if it was just some future thing.
NHC forecast track, cone of uncertainty, and watches/warnings as of 9am EDT.  (NOAA)
I will have one final announcement after Halloween, perhaps if I can think up any more analogies and stuff.

Dennis Muses...I'm just sayin....

 
How NOT to Study The Bible
(Or at least which scriptures not to use explaining how)

Peer Review Sucks
 
 
Isa 28:10 (KJV) For precept must be upon precept, precept upon precept; line upon line, line upon line; here a little, and there a little.
 

Isa 28:13 (KJV) ...precept upon precept, precept upon precept; line upon line, line upon line; here a little, and there a little...
 
 
The above scriptures, very familiar to all COG ministers and members alike, have been misquoted , misused and misunderstood for decades.  Ministers of every denomination quote them when asked "just how should we study the Bible?"   It is taken to mean that one studies the Bible line by line, topic by topic, skipping over here and then over there to find similar ideas and phrases that one can simply stitch together and come up with God's eternal truths on all things.  The modern term might be called "Proof Texting".  I sat through most of an intolerable "Refresher" once where the evangelist type took his Nave's Topical Bible and starting in Genesis and taking us on an agonizing trip through the Bible to Revelation on the topic of marriage, simply drove all in attendance to near mental illness.  That is not how to study the Bible which is, in fact, one of the most over studied and over analyzed books on the planet.
 

In our common COG experience we have the Dave Packs, Gerald Flurrys, Ron Weinland types along with the bit players in the form of James Malm, E.W.King and Bob Thiel who employ this tip toeing through the Bible , "here a little, there a little, line upon line, precept upon precept " and coming up with pure trash and self righteous drivel instructing good men everywhere how they must live and how they must think on these amazingly studied topics.


 Dave Pack can wander all over the Bible, Old Testament and New and come up with his weird and strange ideas about himself as spoken of by the Prophet Haggai, like anyone ever heard of Haggai, and get members gyrating in their seats.  E.W.King and James Malm can just make shit up as they go and find picky answers to ridiculous questions with the hunt and peck method of study.  Bob Thiel can spend all day making Bronze Age weather explanations the modern day ones and tell us it is how God "tries" to get our attention.  They all do by looking here a little and there a little, putting line upon line together and coming up with weird and strange explanations galore.


...and they are wrong.


Let's set the record straight.
 
 
To begin with, Isaiah is written to the drunken priests of Ephraim.  I know "context" is not a word most COG ministers are familiar with, but context is important.   In verse 7 we see the priests and prophets are being chided, to say the least, for being drunk with beer and wine, befuddled and stumbling while they are seeing visions and making rather important decisions.  Not exactly the way to go but with the Assyrians beating on the door, understandable. 


Drunk Homer Wallpaper 1920x1200
 
 
And these also stagger from wine
    and reel from beer:
Priests and prophets stagger from beer
    and are befuddled with wine;
they reel from beer,
    they stagger when seeing visions,
    they stumble when rendering decisions.
All the tables are covered with vomit
    and there is not a spot without filth.


Agavephobia" | East Side Patch
 
 
Not a very pleasant sight but I suppose we can credit the Priests and Prophets of Isaiah with the discovery of "Reel Beer."
 
 
In reality, it is Isaiah mocking these fools with the following which has been taken as "here a little, there a little, line up line, precept upon precept" and how to study the Bible.  Unbelievable ignorance really...
 
 
“Who is it he is trying to teach?
    To whom is he explaining his message?    to those just taken from the breast?
To children weaned from their milk,

10 For it is:
    Do this, do that,
    a rule for this, a rule for that[a];
    a little here, a little there.



Transitions | SpecialNeeds.
 
 Translation:


Who are you talking to?  Children?  You sound like children.
blah, blah, blah,  nah nah-nah nah nah,  do this, do that, rules here, rules there.  Hunt and peck all over the place for your rules.
Who do you think you are?  James Malm?  Dave Pack,  E. W. King, Gerald Flurry, Ron Weinland???
(OK, I added that part)


In  the original Hebrew the phrase in Isaiah 28 verses 10 and 13 is: "sav lasav sav lasav, kav lakav kav lakav"   It is pure gibberish and akin to our "la la la la" and "blah blah blah."  It is a mocking tone immitating the drunken gibberish of the priests and prophets of Ephraim and Judah as Assyria knocks at the door to scrape them off the earth.  It is NOT a scripture one should use to teach how to study the Bible that's for SURE!


13 So then, the word of the Lord to them will become:
    Do this, do that,
    a rule for this, a rule for that;
    a little here, a little there
so that as they go they will fall backward;
    they will be injured and snared and captured.

14 Therefore hear the word of the Lord, you scoffers
    who rule this people in Jerusalem.
 
 
Translation: 
 
 
 So then mister priest and prophet, if that's the way you want to teach then that's the way the Lord will teach you.  Blah...blah...blah...nah nah nah nah nah...do this, do that. You like rules?  I got rules!  You will be over run by your enemies, you who rule Jerusalem.  Assyria and the Babylonians are going to kick your ass if you aren't careful.  But it all works out eventually so have at it.  

Peer Review Sucks
 
 
So, there we have it.  Short and simple.  The next time you hear a Church of God Minister, Member or any devotee tell you that you study the Bible, "line upon line, precept upon precept, here a little, there a little,"  just slap your head and explain it to them.
 
 
 

Wednesday, October 2, 2013

E. W. King Lies That Israel Was "Surprised" By His COGSR Feast Site



Eric King has up a bizarre entry today on his blog.  He for some reason seems to think that Israel was highly impressed by his "feast site."

King goes on to report about the thousands of Christians gather in Jerusalem every year to celebrate the Feast of Tabernacles.  What King conveniently ignores is the fact that these groups are NOT Church of God related groups.  They are evangelical Christians and Messianic Christian/Jews.  99.9% of them have no connection whatsoever with a Worldwide Church of God splinter group, include Eric Kings minuscule personalty cult.

Reading Kings entry you get the impression that it was HIS group that Israel Today and other news agencies were reporting on.  It wasn't.  Just one my lie by one more splinter cult leader.


Modern Israel surprised at COGSR Feast Turnout!

Posted on Every year, thousands of Christians from a round the world ascend to Jerusalem to take part in the biblical Feast of Tabernacles, known in Hebrew as Sukkot. And this year was no different, despite mounting regional instability.

The overwhelming presence of Christians at this time of year is now a common occurrence. But many Israelis are still baffled by the phenomenon, unsure what to make of so many foreigners taking part intheir holiday and expressing such outright love and support for theirnation.

The Times of Israel has a good write-up about how bizarre a spectacle this is for the average Israeli. But, the author also encourages his countrymen to cast aside any suspicions and see this Christian involvement in the Feast for what it is:

“It is much less complicated than many Israelis think. These Christians have come from around the world to bless Israel – ve-zehu (that is all). They believe that God loves the Jewish people and has a plan for their nation, and feel a deep spiritual obligation to show their unconditional love to the Jews.”

During this time, Israel Today spent a day with one of the Christian Feast of Tabernacles groups as it visited the home base of the IDF’s Givati infantry brigade. We asked the young soldiers at the base what they thought of the Christian worship, dancing, and general outpouring of love.

Just in case King pulls a Dave Pack and scrubs his lie off his blog, here is a screen shot of it.

 

Straining A Gnat To Find The Miniscule Moon Rise In 2014




To illustrate how legalistic James Malm is, get a load of what he has to go through in order to determine the PRECISE time his "holy" days will start in 2014.  Malm and his little band of legalists would rather prostitute themselves to legalistic laws than follow Jesus.


Holy Day Dates:   Just before the Feast I was in correspondence with Brian Convery about the timing of Holy Days for the next year.  It was clear to me that with only a .5% illumination the new year was unlikely to begin at sunset March 31.

There is only a very tiny remote chance, maybe 5%,  that the new year will begin at sunset ending 31 March, and if it does not, then it will definitely begin the next evening.

Brian agrees with me; although we will still have observers watching to make absolutely sure.

Brian writes [and I agree]:

Let’s see, March 31st 2014. I have a probable chance. It being a 109.1 on the algorithm from Bruce [Armstrong]. We have seen it at that, once in the past, but the conditions were perfect with no Mediterranean haze. Bruce actually has April 2nd  [as the new moon] on the chart. The evening of [sunset ending] April 1st is a given at 275.6. One could almost see that through a cloud.

September 25 [ending sunset] is the same scenario at 98.58 but with little chance [Virtually NO Chance] of seeing it. Everything would need to be perfect and one would need a very sharp set of eyes. The next night [sunset ENDING Sep 26] is once again a given. When I put up the dates for next year on the site I will probably post April 2nd and September 27th with the caveat that there is a slight potential of visibility the preceding evening.

This means that, with a tiny miniscule  possibility of beginning a day earlier; the Holy Days for 2014 will be:

Spring Holy DaysNew year new moon 2 April; Passover  15 April;  ULB  15-22 April; Pentecost  8 June.

Fall High Days:  Feast of Trumpets  27 Sep; Atonement  Oct 6; Feast of Tabernacles 11-17; the Eighth Day Oct 18.