If you thought the fun loving group ensconced in the middle of Oklahoma couldn't get any crazier, get a load of the latest talking points that Joel Hilliker has laid out for PCG single members who might think about going on a date and carrying on a conversation.
Apparently PCG singles are sex crazed nymphomaniacs who get sexually turned on by conversations and it has to STOP! Conversations lead to emotions and emotions are a DANGEROUS things in the PCG. We just CANNOT have that!
Conversation between a man and a woman is wonderful. The two can help each other in so many ways: develop their personality, sharpen their social skills, grow in compassion and empathy, broaden their perspective and so on.
When a spark of romantic interest enters a relationship, this can also be wonderful. But it also complicates matters somewhat, and, handled poorly, can lead to problems.
Why problems? Because emotion—though a tremendous blessing when guided and channeled properly—is not necessarily helpful. The wrong kind of conversation between a man and a woman stokes emotion, feeds infatuation, and clouds your ability to maintain wise objectivity.
Of course one of the old standbys that leads to sexual licentiousness is music. This time its pop music.
Just listen to pop radio, and you know it is easy to say things that get the juices going: I love you! I can’t live without you! I would walk 500 miles just to be with you!
Apparently Celtic dance music with bouncing babes is OK, but no so with pop music and "walking 500 miles. But that's another subject when it comes to PCG.
Lil' Joel continues on with this:
We are subtler about it, but we can still stir up emotions in ways that seem gratifying but turn out to be harmful. In some situations in God’s Church, men and women are saying things to one another aimed at getting something from the other rather than really showing outgoing concern. Remember, you must give account before God for every idle word! (Matthew 12:36).
So what is so bad with singles conversations that it warrants Lil' Joel interfering? What is this deadly trap that singles fall into when they talk to each other?
This:
This is discussion about the two of you—about your developing relationship—about how much you enjoy your time together (I’m not talking about, “Thanks, I had fun”—I’m talking about a conversation about how much fun you have together, what wonderful companions you are for each other)— about the possibility of you sharing a future—about whether you’re spending enough time together—or whether you wish you could spend more time together—or how someone else asked you out but you wish you could have gone with them—etc. ad nauseam. There are thousands of variations on this theme. Whatever it is, it’s a comment or discussion that puts focus on your friendship, or your relationship.
I’m telling you, this is a trap.
So what is this disgusting emotion that conversations like this cause?
Why have this conversation? Because you like the little hit of excitement it gives you. But the only purpose it serves is to stir up your emotions and to feed infatuation. Such discussion also tends to have a snowball effect. Once “us” becomes a topic of discussion—it can become a greedy monster.
A little later Lil'Joel describes the consequences of such licentious conversations. Once you start talking like this there is no turning back. The next step is breeding like rabbits in the John Amos Field House.
In a sense, a statement like that is a promise. Every step you take toward intimacy is a step you cannot untake. That statement took you closer to full intimacy. You devoted a little piece of yourself—and you probably took possession of a little piece of the other person too. Think about it: Either you’re going to end up marrying that person—or not. It is either going to lead to another step, and then another, toward marriage—or at some point you are going to have to painfully back away from it. But you cannot undo it.
So what is a poor PCG members opposed to discuss? Here are the conversations starters:
• Talk about God’s Work and God’s truth.
• What is his/her attitude toward serving: volunteering for jobs, joining Spokesman Club, driving an extra two hours to pick someone up or visit a shut-in?
• How important is hospitality to him/her?
• Does he/she prefer having a lot of people around, or spending more time in solitude?
• How important is work to him/her?
• How important is time management? How motivated is he/she to make productive use of free time?
• How important is it to him/her to continue their education?
• How much energy does he/she have? Does he/she always crave activity, or does he/she need a lot of down time?
• What is his/her attitude toward money? Is he liberal or frugal? How important are quality possessions and a high standard of living to him/her?
• How important is it to him/her to take care of his/her things? Is he/she a do-it-yourself-type person?
• What priority does he/she put on proper diet and exercise?
• What value does he/she put on friendship? What about loyalty?
• How important is open communication and honesty to him/her?
• Is he/she a positive, upbeat person? When trials hit, how important is it to him/her to react positively? To not complain? To have joy?
You can read the entire article by Lil' Joel here:
Do NOT have this conversation with your date!
