Tuesday, September 3, 2013

Team Ephraim Beats Team Manasseh By 4-0 In The 4th Annual Joseph Cup

Just when you think Armstrongism cant get any sillier, along comes the Flurryites and their soccer championship called Joseph Cup.  This earth shattering event is held annually on the cult compound in Edmond, OK.

EDMOND :: Philadelphia Church of God—Team Ephraim defeated Team Manasseh on August 22 by a score of 4-0 in the fourth Joseph Cup soccer match. It was the first victory for Team Ephraim in the history of the friendly rivalry between Herbert W. Armstrong College students and other PCG members held annually on the HWAC campus pitch.
The match is named after the father of biblical brothers Ephraim and Manasseh. Team Ephraim consisted of players from Britain and its current or former Commonwealth nations, including Australia, New Zealand, Canada, South Africa, and Zimbabwe. Manasseh was made up of players from eight American states.

The game was characterized by solid teamwork from the Ephraimite squad, which passed the ball effectively and kept its players spaced out. The Manassite forwards struggled to penetrate its defensive line, not registering a single shot on goal.


Anonymous said...

Thou Soccer Team Dost Israel Keep
Parody of Dwight's song

"Thou soccer that dost Israel keep, Give kick in time of play;
Who playeth like a flock of sheep Thou teams give ear to thee.
That sit'st between the goalies net,Just don't let it hit your head!
Play hard, and block that ball in play, no goal for the other team's stead."

"In Ephraim's and in goalie's view, And in Manasseh's sight,
Play hard with strength, come and be seen To win big by Thy might.
Turn us again; Thy power kick To us, we will goal, we'll win
Cause Thou, Thy face on us to shine, For then we win, win win."

"Thou soccer teams, how long wilt Thou, How long wilt Thou declare
Thy ball, they net, and defensive plays, Against Thy other team's prayer?

Return to us Thy teams, they teams, O Prophetic Teams, vouchsafe;

Cause Thou, Thy face on us to shine, For then win, win, win, win!."

Corky said...

Whatever did happen to the northern ten tribes anyway? Well, I'll tell ya:

They were killed, slaughtered, butchered by the Assyrians. The Benjamites escaped into the southern kingdom of Judah. Others who escaped the slaughter came to be known as the Samaritans in the New Testament. HA! Bet you thought Samaritans were gentiles, didn't you? Yeah, well, so did Jesus and the other Jews of his day. How soon we forget, huh?

So, then the Assyrians who destroyed the ten tribes were almost completely wiped out by the Babylonians including any Israelites who may have lived amongst them as slaves or otherwise. The Assyrians ceased to be a nation and the few remaining Assyrians who happened to escape the butchery of the Babylonians and later the butchery of the Persians no longer had a country of their own but lived as desert nomads.

It was only after WWII that some Assyrian people finally migrated as far north as Europe - so, Assyria being identified as Germany is out of the question, throw that out, forget about it. There are still some Assyrian people but they are few and still do not have a country of their own.

So, where is Ephraim and Manasseh? Dead, dead and probably not even buried. Crow bait, vulture food. Gone. End of story.

Assistant Deacon said...

This sounds like a Monty Python skit!

"The game was characterized by solid teamwork from the Ephraimite squad, which passed the ball effectively and kept its players spaced out. The Manassite forwards struggled to penetrate its defensive line, not registering a single shot on goal."

Can't you just hear John Cleese or Michael Palin saying that as a breathless BBC reporter?


Anonymous said...

In YOU B-ball we would have been instructed to ease up in the second half and let the other team make a shot or two so they wouldn't get discouraged - also to keep us humble because a shutout would no doubt go to our heads and make us vain. Such bad attitudes on display in Edmond.

Joe Moeller said...

As a German American, I see overt racism here at Flurrys church.

I have no doubts that if there was a team "Assyria" they would have kicked both team Ephraim's and Manasseh's
behind easily.

I demand more Kraut representation and participation in the PCG!

Joe Moeller
Cody, WY

Anonymous said...

I bet they couldn't beat the Hamites.

Anonymous said...

kept its players spaced out

Life in PCG, in a nutshell...

Anonymous said...

Anonymous @4:00, in most cases I would subscribe to your way of thinking but remember we are talking about soccer here.

Byker Bob said...

Other than their belief system being a cruel joke, isn't this the first indication of any kind of humor shown by the Flurryites? Doggone! A small clue denoting humanness!
Who'd a thunk?


Byker Bob said...

According to the pseudo-Clementine writings, the Egyptians, Persians, and Assyrians are Hamites!


Anonymous said...

The Hamites would be confused trying to figure out which end of the soccer ball was which.

Britain W. Stevenson said...

There is definitely too much competition going on in the PCG. I know. I was there...

3 Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves...Phillipians 2:3

...and they,(Brian Davis for one) just hated a woman kept winning the annual pine car derby race (that was me)...hahaha!

Anonymous said...

They have a Pine Car Derby Race too?

What were the names of these teams? Something tribal as well?

Allen C. Dexter said...

This british-israel crap has been so thoroughly debunked that it is mind boggling that anyone is still touting it! The religious never concede anything.

Byker Bob said...

Hey, Britain, Welcome to our merry band! It's a pleasure to have you on board with us, especially because you used to be with PCG, and especially because you love racing!