Thursday, September 5, 2013

David C Pack Announces That He Will Have Two or Three More Messages Where He Will Make Excuses For His Abysmal Prophetic Failure And Demand More Money

Dave has been humiliated beyond his exceptions by the fall out of his abysmal prophetic failure.  The public flailing he has received on countless blogs and on Facebook have made him the laughing stock of the Churches of God.  Now he has to swing into damage control.

Upcoming Announcements
Mr. Pack will be posting two or three more “Friday Announcements” in the coming weeks. These will explain in detail additional expansive elements of the Haggai/Zechariah prophecy. They will open your eyes to things that God has long intended to do in His end-time Work that no one ever understood before, and you will see that His Word is plain!

The first will be this Friday, and will cover interesting points and scriptures everyone should keep in mind now. The next one or two will bring clarity to certain questions about “dates,” and how brethren should now view the “when” of the prophecy’s fulfillment.

Davey spent twenty some weeks making plain the message he received from his god.  Apparently his god pulled a big cosmic joke on Davey and now he has to cover his ass with a list of excuses for the next three weeks.


Anonymous said...

My experience as a former member of the RCG is that Mr. Pack uses the words "plain" "obvious" "simple", etc., but only if you have "eyes to see" these "obvious" scriptures that he puts together.

The attraction for some members is that he seems very knowledgeable because of his speaking skills. This lends credence to the place where the members are in training to be rulers in the world tomorrow.

But it also appeals to your vanity because you are a "firstfruit", the "poor in spirit" where others are too independent or self-willed to be trained by the true God.

I do believe Mr. Pack believes everything he preaches. He believes he is an apostle. He believes they will be dramatically taken by angels to a place of safety. The two witnesses will come from the RCG and will breathe fire and devour their enemies.

He often says that he wants to rule cities in the world tomorrow. And we are to meditate on ruling with Christ when he returns. Couple this with the threat of the lake of the fire and it is a powerful formula for submission.

Head Usher said...

"They will open your eyes to things that God has long intended to do in His end-time Work that no one ever understood before, and you will see that His Word is plain!"

As though we needed more proof of Dave's god's intention to make a fool out of Dave? I think we all understood that about 20 weeks ago!

Plain. Mm-hm. Just like how plain Dave's god's last set of words were. Get ready for some "plain" convoluted horse manure to make the past 20 weeks of horse manure smell like freshly baled alfalfa.

Truly Dave, we here at Banned owe you a big debt of gratitude for all the many favors you've done us over the past 20 weeks at getting out the word about how insane Dave Pack is. We could never have done such a convincing job, no matter how hard we tried.

When you find yourself in a hole, most people would advise you to stop digging. That's what most sane people would do. Well, I guess I am generous by allowing that any sane person would ever find themselves in the hole that Dave now finds himself in. Keeping digging Dave. Don't stop until you've removed all possible shadows of all possible doubts regarding your insanity! We appreciate the fine job you're doing, going so far above and beyond the call of duty, helping all of us out so much! Keep up the good work!

DennisCDiehl said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

Double down, or confess error?

Well, we knew it had to be double down. Admitting error is not an option.

Byker Bob said...

He's not going to acknowledge that there ever was failure or disgrace. That is his arrogance. I predict he'll go into "damn the torpedoes" mode. And, he'll continue to refer to Christians who pray for his enemies in the other ACOGs and for his own people whom he exploits and disfellowships as tools of the devil.

Hopefully, there will be financial or legal consequences for what he has done. We'll see how effective his teflon really is.


Michael said...

Dennis wrote:
"His wife must be wondering what she has gotten into."

His wife? :-)
Unless she is also convinced she is Mrs. Joshua and looking forward to being the first lady of the reunification.
By the way, I guess it's safe to conclude Pack's ideas of reunification don't count GCI? As they are by far the largest former WCG group, does his inspired view on Haggai simply ignore all of them?

Anonymous said...

Just a moment! Pack-man's August 2 screed was titled "The Final Announcement"! He's got MORE to say? Noooooooooooooooooooo, pleeeeeze!!!!!

Douglas Becker said...

I concluded long ago that I can't afford to be around crazy people who believe their ideas are completely rational.

Perhaps, some day, you people in the RCG may come to the same conclusion.

In the meantime, don't expect anything to make sense as you stay around this loser and remember that you are making yourself sick by listening to his stupid ideas.

But then again, all the Armstrongists are nuts.

Anonymous said...

What if Davey has his "Church" flee to the Place of Safety?

To that end, I wrote a little parody of the comedic 'Camp Granada' song-

Camp Cave Petra

Camp Granada (COMEDY)

Hello Mudda, hello Fadda,
Here I am at Camp Cave Petra.
Camp's not very entertaining,
But they say we'll have some fun if Pack stops 'splaining.

I went pooping with Joe Spivy;
We wiped our butts with poison ivy.
You remember Leonard Skinner;
After fasting 7 weeks he's now quite thinner.

All the Deacons hate us sheepies,
And it really was quite creepy,
When the Deacon Mr Bill Doe,
Measured my daughter's skirt-length with a big dildo.

My cave's not decorated,
But Pack says it's slated,
Our reward seems very certain,
Because for us Pack says it will be curtains.

Pack and his elite friends,
Live at the Petra Hotel,
And from what I hear,
The food is great and life over there is really swell.

He's got our cash,
To play poker,
Bets after Sat. night sundown clock's stroker,
And he bets on white folks in the fights and turns our cash to ash.

Now I don't want this to scare ya,
My son's got chills and a real bad cough,
But they just gave him another annointed cloth,
And if I were to complain they'd say, "How dare ya!"

Pack says Christ is coming soon,
And this is like a pre-honeymoon,
But the opionion of mine,
Is I'd rather be the Bride of Frankenstein.

Tomorrow is the Sabbath,
So I'll go and take a mud-bath,
Oops I forgot to bring nail clippers,
They'd be great on my newborn malnourished son's flippers.

Here they teach,
That 'British Israel',
So my MBA is no big deal,
Since we're black they put us in a cave with leeches.

Dearest Fadda, darling Mudda,
I'm here in the Place of Safety,
Based on "Truth" (Theological crudda)
Bring us home or at least just call me maybe.

Joe Moeller said...

"The Beverly Hillbillies Theme Song"!

Come and listen to a story about a man named PACK
A crazy nut , hating others, always on attack...

Then one year he was preaching like a fool,
But nothing much happened in the month of ELUL

False Prophecy that is...
Fools gold

Well the next thing you know old Pack needs mental care...
Brethren said "We'd better move away from there"
Said "Cincinnati is the place you ought to be"
So they loaded up the truck and moved to UCG!

Joe Moeller
Cody, WY

Anonymous said...

"So they loaded up the truck and moved to UCG!"

Oh, lordy!

I thought the Exodus was a long time ago, and not about the Numbers, except with Doody-RON-imy.

Douglas Becker said...

Swimmin' pools... movie stars....

Like Jelly Bean.

Enjoy the crude.

Anonymous said...

David Pack had tried to frighten people by warning that anyone who did not join his Restored Church by this year would lose the Holy Spirit.

Does this delay in the fulfilment of David Pack's prophecy mean that people get to keep the Holy Spirit for another year? Maybe even another 3 to 5 years? What about 15 to 20 years? Probably not 50 to 100 years.

Head Usher said...

Failing to see the material difference between what Pack is doing and what you're doing with that "Beverly Hillbilly" ditty there, Joe.

Anonymous said...

LOL Douglas, I'd forgotten Jelly Bean's name and was trying to remember it!

Surely, Jelly will have an exalted 'Position of Power' in the World Tomorrow when He will teach us all that we were under Satan's influence if we ever doubted the TRUTH of Mr. Armstrong's British Israelism.

Anonymous said...

Best use of a John Venn diagram that I've ever seen!

Anonymous said...

"Hopefully, there will be financial or legal consequences for what he has done. We'll see how effective his teflon really is."

Have the laws changed? Last time I checked, this is perfectly legal for Pack or any other one of a zillion crazy Christian preachers to do.

Due to the nature of True Believers, financial losses should be not too bad.

Byker Bob said...

Anonymous, that's why the law can't save you! You can keep it in the absence of love for others, or ethics.

I happen to be a Christian who believes in karma. Like I said, lets see how good Pack's teflon really is!