Banned Cultural Appreciation Time: The Saga of Bob Thiel

 

BANNED CULTURAL APPRECIATION TIME! 

A POEM READING BY TONTO! 

In Arroyo Grande, a prophet appears,

Bobby Thiel, with dubious cheers.

A phony sage, in religious guise,

With potions and herbs, he peddles his lies.

A hundred followers, all Caucasian and meek,

In his mystical garden, where delusions peak.

He claims divine visions, a charlatan's play,

In the land of sunshine, where shadows betray.

Oh, Bobby Thiel, the preacher so sly,

Selling Christian voodoo, oh my, oh my!

His potions and herbs, a dubious blend,

To cure your ills, or so they pretend.

In the heart of California, he weaves his spell,

A prophet with a story, too absurd to tell.

His white-clad flock, like sheep in the pen,

Following blindly, again and again.

"Buy my elixirs," he declares with zeal,

Promising miracles, a snake oil ordeal.

With a wink and a grin, he counts his gold,

As the gullible masses, in ignorance, hold.

Bobby Thiel, the master of disguise,

In Arroyo Grande, where skepticism dies.

A satire of faith, a parody profound,

In the circus of belief, he wears the crown.

So here's to Bobby, the prophet bizarre,

With his potions and voodoo, a spectacle so far.

A hundred followers, lost in the haze,

In the land of sunshine, where reason decays.

The Doubleminded Jon Brisby

From a Church of God the Eternal source

The Doubleminded Jon Brisby

While most in the Church of God Eternal don't listen to the sermons, because they are sleeping, daydreaming, or in a hypnotic trance. A keen ear will pick up the doublespeak employed by Jon Brisby to keep his mentally retarded flock in a state of confusion.

In his deceitfully titled sermon "The Vow of Baptism" (nowhere does the bible speak of baptism being a vow, rather instead a ritual cleaning), Jon makes the bold assertion; "Sunday keeping" Baptist (or any other non-Armstrongite) baptisms are not valid... even if one is sincere, because they don't know what they're getting into. (1:09:00 mark)

Then he proceeds to tell his boneheaded congregation; God promises to give them (Armstrongites) the holy spirit when they get baptised when they're sincere even if they don't know what they're getting into. (1:16:00 mark)

Wait, what?

A clear example of doublespeak, one could never pin Brisby down on a statement, because he carefully crafts a contradiction for his outrageous assertions and will gaslight anyone into not understanding his unclear position on his statements.

This is why no one in his church understands the "official" opinion in regard to doctrine, prophecy, and biblical interpretation.

Maybe Jon Brisby wasn't informed of the fact that his idol Herbert Armstrong was baptised by a "Sunday keeping" Baptist ( The Enigma of Herbert W Armstrong ). Yes, the validity of Herbert's, and all Armstrongite, baptisms depends on the valid authority to baptize by the Hinson Memorial Baptist Church in Portland Oregon.

Uh oh, this is a problem for Armstrongists, if "Sunday keeping" Baptist baptisms aren't valid = then Herbert's baptism wasn't valid = and no Armstrongite who received baptism from the WCG or splinters has a valid baptism = and no one in Armstrongism received the holy spirit. Oops.

On the other hand if "Sunday keeping" Baptist baptisms ARE valid, then that means Armstrongites don't have the monopoly to baptize like they tell everyone they do, and the body of Christ is a much bigger group than the handful of people sitting around listening to prerecorded sermons on Saturdays.

If they are wrong about this one doctrine, what else are they wrong about?

If you haven't already, it's time to evaluate the teachings of these blind leaders of the blind.

CGI’s Bill Watson: How to be Spiritual by doing PHYSICAL things!

 

CGI’s Bill Watson: How to be Spiritual by doing PHYSICAL things!

Lonnie Hendrix

CGI Pastor Bill Watson’s first Sabbath sermon of 2024 was aimed at inspiring his congregation to save up their money to observe the Feast of Tabernacles at one of CGI’s designated sites. Bill pointed out that Christ’s disciples should be seeking God’s Kingdom and his righteousness as their first priority (Matthew 6:33). Next, he proceeded to remind his audience that Jesus had admonished his followers to love the Lord your God will all of your heart, soul, and mind (Matthew 22:37). 

“How do we do this? What does this even mean? How is it that we’re showing God that we really do indeed love him? Where/how do we spend our time?” the pastor asked. His answer, of course, is exactly what one would expect from a minister of one of the ACOGs. Mr. Watson said: “The amount of time/investment you put into something illustrates how much you love it – how important it is to you.” For him that means how much time we are devoting to things like Bible study, prayer, and meditation. He went on to note that “The law is still in action in many respects.”

Yes, according to Mr. Watson, we should be keeping God’s commandments (I John 5:1-3, I John 2:5-6, II John 6). For him, that means Sabbath observance, festival observance, clean and unclean meats, etc. Mr. Watson believes that these commandments should define a Christian’s behavior – that they represent the best way to demonstrate that we love God.

Unfortunately, like most Armstrongites, Mr. Watson does not understand that Christ revealed a new iteration of God’s Law – those two great commandments which he referenced in his remarks. In the Gospel of John, we read that Christ said: “A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.”  (John 13:34-35, ESV) Moreover, in that same first epistle of John which Mr. Watson referenced, we read: “Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God. Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love. In this the love of God was made manifest among us, that God sent his only Son into the world, so that we might live through him. In this is love, not that we have loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins. Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. No one has ever seen God; if we love one another, God abides in us and his love is perfected in us… We love because he first loved us. If anyone says, ‘I love God,’ and hates his brother, he is a liar; for he who does not love his brother whom he has seen cannot love God whom he has not seen. And this commandment we have from him: whoever loves God must also love his brother.” (I John 4:7-12 and 19-21, ESV) In other words, the best way to demonstrate our love for God is to actually love each other!

Mr. Watson, however, was persistent. “Is there something else that we could be doing?” he asked. For him, the very best way to demonstrate to God where our hearts and minds are at is to follow his “demands” in Leviticus 23. For Mr. Watson, these represent God’s expectations of his people. According to him, how diligently we handle physical things demonstrates how diligent we are with spiritual things.

Pastor Watson believes this stuff may not be important to us, but that it is clearly “important to God.” He went on to claim that some of his brethren within CGI “have marginalized the importance of these festivals.” In particular, Mr. Watson zeroed in on the lack of enthusiasm which some CGI folks have demonstrated for observing the Feast of Tabernacles. He noted that some Sunday-keeping Christians are more zealous in their observance of Christmas than some CGI folks are in observing the FOT. He even quoted the passage about taking tree branches and constructing temporary dwellings, and then proceeded to explain that CGI has “adjusted” those requirements (they stay in hotels). He noted that “we handle it the way we do.”

Mr. Watson believes that “words are cheap – actions are precious,” and that “we’re defined by what we do, not what we say.” I couldn’t agree with him more. In that first epistle of John that the pastor referenced, we read: “By this we know love, that he laid down his life for us, and we ought to lay down our lives for the brothers. But if anyone has the world's goods and sees his brother in need, yet closes his heart against him, how does God's love abide in him? Little children, let us not love in word or talk but in deed and in truth.” (I John 3:16-18, ESV) Moreover, in his epistle, James noted: “Religion that is pure and undefiled before God the Father is this: to visit orphans and widows in their affliction, and to keep oneself unstained from the world.” (James 1:27)

Mr. Watson believes that God wants him and his brothers and sisters within CGI to observe the Feast of Tabernacles. In my humble opinion, I believe God expects a whole lot more from Christ’s disciples. What do you think?