Tuesday, October 25, 2016

When Will Garner Ted Armstrong Ever Die?



On September 12, 2003, Garner Ted Armstrong reportedly died due to a staph infection due to complications of pneumonia.  This obviously was a charade to draw in more members to the Garner Ted Armstrong Evangelistic Association.  Even though his son Mark supposedly took over reigns of the organization after an elaborate funeral, it is now increasingly clear that GTA is alive and behind the scenes running his organization.  That wax dummy in the casket was pretty accurate!

His web site still features him prominently:



In the latest 21st Century Watch, GTA has an article on whether or not you will go to heaven:


You can watch GTA's amazing sermons:


You can listen to his sermons as MP3's; remembering fondly the old cassettes:


The Intercontinental Church of God web site still portrays GTA as its leader:



Garner Ted's wife Shirley ran the organization from her home on Lake Palestine, for many years. Their son Mark is the more public face.  Due to the fact that Mark is not a good speaker like his dad and that the articles he writes seems to be lifted from WorldNetDaily and Fox News, its no wonder Dead Ted needs to be continually trotted out as if he was still alive.  The world is collapsing around us and it is vitally important that an Armstrong proclaim that message to the world.



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37 comments:

Anonymous said...

"Staff infection"? Like Stanley Rader or Mike Feazell?

Byker Bob said...

Like most of us who have been around for a while, I'm sure that Mark has had ample opportunity to take introspection and to have regrets. One might well be not having applied himself in his earlier years. The thing about that is that so many of us never imagined that we'd even be physical human beings by the time 1/1/76 rolled around, let alone at this late date today.

When it comes right down to it, the church pretty much screwed itself out of its own future. And, this is just one more illustration as to why false prophecy is so abominably destructive.

BB

DennisCDiehl said...

We call that"Necro-Evangelism"

RSK said...

Staph infection, not a staff infection. :)

nck said...

His wife died exactly one year ago.
But for one who so avidly preached about Haloween, the entire continuing ministry is a bit zombielike.

nck

Sweetblood777 said...

One must admit though, that his sermons were a hell of a lot better than his fathers' GTA was given so many talents that most young men wished that they possessed them. It is such a shame that he threw them all away because he couldn't keep his zip closed.

The old saying that the male body only has enough blood to operate a brain or a penis, but not both at the same time, rings true, especially in his case.

RSK said...

Well, given GTAs noted promiscuity, a "staff" infection might be poetic justice. ;)

NO2HWA said...

RSK...I fixed it...I do these posts on my MacBook and its autocorrect is a pain the Armstrognite ass.

Anonymous said...

Wasn't there something about "not worshipping a man," which we all were doing and had convinced ourselves we weren't?

Cursed be the day I came across Ted on the radio, talking about evolution. What I might've done if I had continued twisting the dial on my tabletop transistor radio . . .

Black Ops Mikey said...

It's a wonder. It would be easy for some people to believe that Garner Ted Armstrong is still alive. Over at the false prophet Ronald Weinland blog, someone posted as joecamel:

HWA lives on inspite of your stupidity

So GTA isn't the only one still alive -- his father is accounted to be alive too!

In fact, check over at YouTube and see how many sermon videos are posted for Herbert Armstrong as opposed to Garner Ted Armstrong! Huh! Yeah!

Except.

Except.

joecamel is delusional and we have news for all of you as shocking as it may seem to be:

News Flash: Herbert Armstrong is Dead!

I know, I know.

It hardly seems possible.

But soon all those who actually lived through it will be gone and then the deniers will multiply, just like those who claim that the Holocaust never happened.

DennisCDiehl said...

Well, actually, the Bible contains the written words but no video of the Necro-Prophets and Apostles, so I guess we can't have Ted not be a member of On and On Anonymous.

Anonymous said...

The Tyler newspaper initially reported that an unnamed family member said he died from a bad reaction to a drug that the hospital had given him. After that none of the local news reports that I saw mentioned a cause of death which I thought was odd. If he died from a staph infection he must have already had it when he entered the hospital because he wasn't in there long.

Anonymous said...

Time to cash in and start a new Church of God weekly telecast?

The Walking Ted

Ilija Korac said...

Why you people love to rubish people. You are more worst than people outside church. If there was not Mr. Armstrong how you will find the true? What the shame.

Anonymous said...

I remember hearing that too. That he'd been given a wrong drug.

Anonymous said...

It reminds me of North Korea and their "Eternal President of the Republic"

Steve D said...

Korac, you are assuming that GTA taught the truth. He did introduce me and others to the Bible, for that I am grateful. And, I met my wonderful wife at AC. I've been blessed, but he didn't teach "the truth" any more that Mormonism, The Watchtower Society or the SDA. Some members were terribly hurt by GTA's false teachings, suffered for lack of medical care, some died, those who lived were impoverished due to his date setting and families were damaged or destroyed.

Anonymous said...

Ilija Korac said...

Why you people love to rubish people. You are more worst than people outside church. If there was not Mr. Armstrong how you will find the true? What the shame.

Herbie law much more worst than Jesus love. Found the true after Mr. Armstrong gave me the false.

Anonymous said...

Due to GTAs lifestyle, Aids is also a possible cause of his death.

Anonymous said...

Ilija somberly intoned: "If there was not Mr. Armstrong how will you find the true?"

I've been sitting here in Petra with only white people since 1972, wondering the same thing.

RSK said...

Heh, now I want to go make a meme that says "I FOUND THE TRUE."

Black Ops Mikey said...

GTA: The alcoholic boozing adulterer gambler who appeared on He Haw.

Really great qualifications for a reputation of truth.

Anonymous said...

"Why you people love to rubish people. You are more worst than people outside church. If there was not Mr. Armstrong how you will find the true? What the shame."

Ilija Korac, Imo, Mr. Ted "rubished" himself.

If it fancies you, count me among those "more worst" persons, who did not "find the true" from an Armstrong who I saw on TV at a masseuses place dancing around naked while pulling on his private noodle.

Maybe Horn Dog Jesis was watching and hoping Mr. Garner Ted would get to grab her by the pussy with his left hand, while his right hand was clenched on and pumping his armstrongy weenie?

Some people have an internal locus of control.
Some people have an external locus of control.
Some people have an "in-between" locus of control.

Apparently, GTA's locus of control resided "in-between" his legs, and Mark Armstrong's and Shirley Armstrong's locus of control resides in milking Teddy's wonderful wacky weenie for all it's worth, while living in an upscale gated community.

Thar's money in them thar undead Christian lechers!

nck said...

This is all extremely funny. Extra mention for "the walking ted".
But I guess you missed my first posting.
Shirley passed away a year ago.
Didn't we discuss the yard sale some time ago on banned?

Black Ops makes an interesting philosophical point though.
Over the last 2 millenia several items from the armstrong/biblical hodgepodge have been revamped, disappeared and revamped again through reinterpretation of the original texts.

I wonder how some memes might be reintroduced in a later time from which in retrospect the current self driving cars appear like Horse and Carriage and the Iphone appears like the original light bulb. Modern technology seems to be trending toward decentralisation while at the same time more central control is possible.

Ah well that is not of my concern. My association with GTA is wholly seventies. When I see his picture the intro of "The streets of San Francisco" pops up for no apparent reason. A simpler time of lower pace.

nck

Anonymous said...

IIija, there are many people today who still have a high opinion of Mr Armstrong. They are/were either church crazies or outsiders. The outsiders never experienced being a church galley slave. For instance, they were not verbally bashed by the ministers for questioning 'the true.' Had you attended church, you too would 'rubish people.'

Anonymous said...

Hmmmm makes you wonder. He died quite young considering the luxurious lifestyle he led. His sins may have caught up with him who knows.

Anonymous said...

Ted had a gay boyfriend that Herbie complained to him about, so dying from said diseases is very much on the cards.

Hoss said...

I came across GTA while searching for something to listen to on the radio. He was talking about prophecy, and as I’d recently heard about Nostradamus, I was interested. Since my biblical understanding was minimal, I didn’t doubt anything he said. And now I've been thinking how this “accident” may have been like "accidentally" hearing Orson Welles during his War of the Worlds broadcast.

As for rubbishing people, the WCG crowd I knew really turned on GTA after his 1978 departure. The attitude changed from GTA being all the rage to the object of rage. Within days, it sounded like everything he ever did was wrong.

Anonymous said...

"Ilija Korac said...
Why you people love to rubish people. You are more worst than people outside church. If there was not Mr. Armstrong how you will find the true? What the shame.
October 25, 2016 at 9:50 PM
"

Gee, I don't know.

Herbert Armstrong wasn't anybody special. Assuming he, a mere high school dropout, could find "the true," (a rather big assumption), then why shouldn't we also assume any other high school dropout should also be capable of the same?

If there is a "true" to be found, I guess I'll find it the same way he did? Not sure there's a "true" to be found in the first place, especially if such "true" involves the supernatural. So, not too worried about that kind of "true" one way or the other.

People waste their lives thinking somebody else no better than than themselves can save them. They waste their lives worshiping a man not much different than they themselves are. What a shame.

Steve D said...

I wonder if Mark Armstrong would have rather done something else with his life. Perhaps he was pressured into taking over the family business to provide for his mother and brothers (both were born deaf, as I understand). Keep the GTA tapes on TV and milk the work that his father did to keep the income coming in. Grow older, become more frustrated with his life, feel locked in. Perhaps....

Hoss said...

a mere high school dropout

"Not many wise men now are called..."
In 1910, when HWA was 18, less than 14% of the population in the USA completed high school.

Anonymous said...

I can't resist...

He's dead Jim!

https://youtu.be/3at_Ev2kOoI

Ronco

Miguel de la Rodente said...

Unfortunately, Ilija is probably still in the midst of an Armstrong gasm.

James said...

GTA never died. He is now living in Austria next door to his uncle Adolf.

Hoss said...

While we're at it, when are they going to update their website? The Photo Gallery has announced Coming Soon for as long as I can remember.
But then, they're accustomed to announcing things that don't happen...

Anonymous said...

I know a woman who in 1992 or 1993 attended a professional society meeting in Tyler. While talking with another woman, she mentioned being associated with the college in Big Sandy. Upon hearing this, the second woman said that she had attended parties which GTA had also attended. She said, "He chases anything in skirts."

Feastgoer said...

I stopped by an ICG Feast site this year. The brochure indicated Mark Armstrong was on the speaking schedule - but only for a split sermon on Day 5.

And no, the schedule said nothing about replaying GTA messages.