Friday, July 13, 2018

God strikes down Second Witness...But NOT in Jerusalem!

The Church of God has always been blessed by having so many prophets, scholars, and end times witnesses in its midst.  While a few have been women though the overwhelming majority are self-appointed men who feel they have a higher calling than the dumb sheeple and therefore need to be heard.

Well over ten years ago one of the biggest liars in the Church of God proclaimed himself one of the end time Two Witnesses.  Ron Weinland went on to make many SURE predictions and prophecies that we all now know to be complete utter bullshit.  2008 came and went as Weinland was publicly humiliated in San Francisco at an Idea City conference:

He was so sure that his creature "jesus" was going to come back with righteous fury in 2008 that he made the rounds publicly proclaiming his message and writing a "book" on it all.  Then, like any good Church of God prophet, his rantings failed.  His god had changed the return time, it then turned into a "spiritual return", the brethren were not ready, the same old tired shtick.

Then his god turned its back on him once again and let the United States Government swoop in and convict him in court sending him to prison for a prophetic 3 1/2 years.  2013 was a humiliating year for him as he turned the reigns over to his money-laundering daughter and his wife Laura, the diamond  wearing Second Witless Witness.

In 2015 he had a heart attack that his god apparently let happen in order to humble him.   Not one to learn from his mistakes and failed prophecies, he developed even wackier predictions as he wrote another book.

Once the convicted felon was let out of prison, he started making more and more idiotic prophecies to the point he now has his "jesus" returning in 2019.

His god must not be pleased that felon Ron has not learned his lesson.  At the beginning of July 2018, the all-powerful god of Ron struck him down with another heart attack.

One person on a Weinland newsgroup wrote:
"I don't recall anywhere in Rev 11, where God makes His #1 prophet/servant sick and disabled. How are the TWs going to do there job, if the lead man is sick and disabled? Did God drop the ball? Did God forget to give Ron the health he needs to do his job? Or MAYBE Ron is a false prophet?"
How is Ron and his dingy wife Laura going to be the Two Witnesses as we approach Pentecost 2019 when he is laid up? What a cruel joke Ron's god played on him.  Dingy Laura now has to step up to the plate. Ron has never really had much faith in his dingy wife as he used to force her to leave the room when he spoke.  Was she giving off bad vibes?

Weinerdude's heart attack presents a huge problem for his god and the church.  As one of the Two Witless Witnesses, he is supposed to be preaching for 1,260 days getting the message of his god across to the world as a final witness.  His wife Laura is supposed to be by his side doing the same thing. Now that he cannot speak publicly and his dingy wife is incapable of it forming a logical sentence, how is the message of his god going to get out there?  Millions upon millions of people will not be able to hear the word of his god and will lose any chance of escaping the tribulation soon to come!  

Another person has noted on a Weinland forum:
"(Rev 11:3)  And I will give [power] to My two witnesses, and they will prophesy a thousand, two hundred and sixty days, clothed in sackcloth.
How hard can it be? If you just believe what is written, it's easy....
THEY BOTH TESTIFY. The verse is plain, the English is clear, BOTH witnesses testify. They both do it EVERY DAY for 1260 days. They don't testify/preach/prophecy on Monday, and then take the rest of the week off. They don't go on cruises and get deep tissue massages, while browsing through the Fredrik's of Hollywood catalog for expensive panties. They both work and they both preach for 1260 days.
Another person made this checklist up:
1) BOTH the Two Witnesses are MEN  (YLT Zec 4:14  And he said, These are the two sons of fresh oil who stand by Jehovah of the whole earth. )
Instead of making excuses by trying to force the verse to mean "children" instead of "sons", why not just believe what is plainly stated? IT'S SO EASY. Believing the truth is easy, believing lies is hard work.
2) They both prophesy
3) They both defend themselves if necessary, by killing their enemies by breathing fire on them (they are COMMANDED by God to kill their enemies, it is not an "option") 
4) They both stand toe to toe facing the Beast Leader and his army. 
5) They turn rivers to blood 
6) They cause droughts for as long as they wish 
7) They have discretion to call down as many plagues as they please  
8) They both get martyred  
9) They both get resurrected 
10) As "payment", 7000 give their lives for killing these two prophets...

Weinland has been placing curses on people for over a decade now and not one single person has died, so how can he call fire down from heaven to destroy his enemies? Even better, how can his dingy wife Laura call down fire while wearing her fur-lined panties that she bragged about years ago?  Imagine her craggy fingers bedecked with numerous diamond rings pointed at you as fire proceeds from her fingertips.

Can you imagine God allowing one of his powerful witnesses having to undergo a quadruple heart bypass surgery before he begins witnessing?  What happened to the all-powerful god who could have secretly healed Ron's heart so that he could carry on unencumbered? 

Can Armstrongism get any stupider than this? Oh, sorry...there is Bob Thiel.  Three peas in a pod.



Anonymous said...

I knew Weinland.

I was baptized by Weinland.

I have heard Weinland speak and preach.

I got a "shoulder pat" from Weinland when I did an acceptable job at Club.

There is nothing "Witness-y" about him. He's a man with great delusions.

That should be, in his language, totally and abundantly clear.

Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain.

DennisCDiehl said...

Ron Weinland, Dave Pack, Gerald Flurry and all the prophecy haunted Church of God end time fabricators will die just like all before them. It's just that simple. No Second Coming. No soon with the day being far spent. No things they can come up with which must shortly come to pass. No I come quickly or changing in a moment, in the twinkling of the eye, at the last Trump. No we shall not all die or we who are alive and remain. No 3-5, 10 at the most, 15 max or 20 for sure.

Like all before who spend their lives reading and interpreting their Bibles through the news of the day, they are wasting the only real life and time they actually have which is NOW. These are men who have convinced others to be so "heavenly" or Kingdom minded they are of no earthly good. These are men who teach others that real living is not now but yet to come and in doing so provide, down the road, a lifetime of regrets of time wasted thinking, contributing and doing things that did not need to be thought about, contributed to or done.

Prediction addiction or prophecy obsessions, as if one knows, is probably the biggest waste of life time one could get involved in. None of these men were content to live a life of quiet and simple Christ like or Jesus inspired lives. Bob Thiel is not content to be a Naturopath and help people live a quality life now. He has to weave tales as a untrained and unqualified religious leader and his tales are bogus. Dave Pack works for no man, never has, never would or ever could. Yet he robs people of their real lives with prophetic voodoo and they love it...until they wake up and don't. Gerald Flurry will die soon and all hell will break out because he still thinks he can't. Herbert Armstrong made the same mistake and any fool could predict what was going to happen with his just letting Christ pick the next leader. Christ was drunk that day.

Everyone reading this will die sooner or later, just like all before. At best you'll get to say you fought a good fight, you kept your faith and you hope the goodies will be waiting for you/us somewhere up or out there at that day. You know I'm right...

“One must simply take the days of their lives as they happen. If you spend time worrying over what is to come, which may or may not happen, then you will only be wasting precious days you will wish in the future you could have cherished a bit longer.”
― R.J. Gonzales, Mundahlia

Anonymous said...

There's only some truth in your 6.12 PM post. People defer gratification and sacrifice to acquire eternal life. True, they might not be the most balanced in their approach, but they do the best they can. Unlike apostate armchair critics, their feathers are ruffled by the pressure of pursuing their gaol.

DennisCDiehl said...

awww man! I guess I could have prophesied it, but I was rejected from joining the UCG Singles Face Book Page. Couldn't pass the "Do you belong to one of these churches?" and "Did you receive a church approved divorce?" test. Oh the humanity of it all..... I need to find a pagan goddess type I suppose.

Anonymous said...

"And whosoever shall exalt himself shall be abased; and he that shall humble himself shall be exalted." Matthew 23:12

c f ben yochanan

DennisCDiehl said...

Any Pagan Portland Goddesses lurking here? Contact to share Temple Libations of Stumptown Coffee :)

Ronco said...

Ron has always struck me as the Imperial Reference Standard for charlatanism, it's why I chose Ronco as a handle! I would just about bet anything that when Ron is behind closed doors that he is splitting his sides laughing at his followers... and the tithes still keep rolling in!!!

Awesome, as Ron would say!

Byker Bob said...

A heart attack is tremendously expensive. Weinland, to my knowledge, also has the tax bill with which he was left as a result of his fraud conviction. And, his “church” has diminished in size as members awoke to his basic bogusness. Combined, and adding to the fact that all of his prophecies continue to fail, there must be incredible pressure on him, conditions which would not be conducive to recovery. I believe he’s pretty much had it at this point. We’re better here than to set up a death pool, but his end is clearly in sight.


Ronco said...

" We’re better here than to set up a death pool, but his end is clearly in sight."

Not so fast, BB I think Ron will go on for a while...

nck said...

Oh no.....Dennis is cast down on earth and must now associate with the daughters of man.

I would have that coffee if it were not for the winged serpent I d need for a ride.


Connie Schmidt said...

Ron Popeil and his informercial "VEG-O- MATIC" is definitely more reliable, trustworthy and believable than Ron Weinland and his "COG-O-MATIC" , which simply "dices and slices your brain and your soul" for the LOW LOW PRICE of just 3 tithes of your income!

BUT WAIT... THERE IS MORE , join Rons Cult now in the next 5 minutes and receive this free book from Ron ... Christ's return in 2019, (Free , less shipping and handling)

Lake of Fire Church of God said...

Byker Bob said, "A heart attack is tremendously expensive".

MY COMMENT - I can vouch to that comment first hand. I didn't have a heart attack. But, I had 3 blockages including "the widow maker" and I underwent open heart surgery 4-way bypass in March 2018. My cardiologist caught it in time. The total cost of my major medical event was $355,000. Thankfully, I had an ObamaCare policy that covered most of my medical bills except the $7,300 deductible.

I wonder what kind of insurance Weinland's dumb sheep tithe slaves are providing the 2 witnesses of the Book of Revelation?