Saturday, November 25, 2017

Do You Have Post Feast Depression? UCG Has The Cure



UCG Admits No One Wants To Climb Their "Ladder of Involvement"



United Church of God envisions itself as the paragon of truth that no one else gets quite as right as they do.  They believe this in spite of the fact their own brand of "new and improved" Church of Godism has never become the shining light for all of the Church of God to look to for Christian virtue.

From its embrace of embezzling bank managers, coddling ministers who got off sexually harassing women in the church, to encouraging members to lie under oath about a minister who was a stalker.  UCG's pure Christianity was so pure that it imploded several times since its inception, first with David Hulme splintering off and then with 174 ministers jumping ship along with thousands of brethren to form Church of God a Worldwide Association. Then the entire church watched as its chairman had to resign over "unchristian behavior".

Is it any wonder they struggle to appeal to the public as a place people would want to experience God?  Especially when it seems like UCG sees its journey for its members as progressive steps up a ladder. Who would even want to get on the ladder in the first place?

What "pearls of great price" does UCG possess that ANYONE would actually want to have?

UCG's ladder of progression has rungs that are broken or entirely missing as it worships the law over that inconvenient dude they are ashamed to publicly talk about.
I conducted a session that resulted in a lot of discussion, entitled: “First Contact Counseling.” The title suggests that our ministry may be given “leads” of people who take an interest in our proclamation message. The reality, however, is that we no longer have a line of people coming to us. We have to find them. We have to become “fishers of men.”
How can we reach out in the world where we live with the spiritual treasure and pearls of great price that we have acquired? We know that God calls people, but what role do we have in engaging them? We spoke of the “ladder of involvement” that all of us have climbed from first contact with the truth to committed membership through baptism. Is the ascent unimpeded from someone’s first exposure to God’s way all of the way up to engagement in the congregational environment? Do we provide the rungs needed to climb this ladder? Are the rungs solid, or are some broken? If the path is not clear, a person’s growth can stop.

Friday, November 24, 2017

Genuine Oregon and Willamette Valley Prayer Rocks


...... Give the ultimate Feast Gift to your Pastor, your Church or if you feel God is calling you to start your own, to YOURSELF!



Prayer Rock?  Pfffftttt...



We only ask you have a personality worthy of an Erratic Prayer Rock

Our Showroom
All Prayer Rocks are guaranteed to be made and delivered in exactly the same way HWA's genuine , they say, Prayer Rock was to the Willamette Valley

Just big enough for you and your family.
Comes with a shade tree and vineyard

One of our best designs. You can pray standing up with this unique contour.
Also comes with a vineyard

One of our best Willamette editions.
Nicely angular and accommodates up to three more Elders or 9 Deacons (in addition to yourself of course)

This Puppy is BIG!  Set in a lonely setting where no one is going to wonder what you are doing.  Accommodates 12

Seeking Solitude with a view?  We recommend you pray on the upside of this beauty overlooking the Columbia Gorge

Seeking to be seen of men? This one's for YOU!
Easy access along the highway. You can't be missed. Or go around back where only you can be seen in secret but rewarded openly.

Sorry...this one is sold and in use

Convenient yet private along the Vineyard Trail with an inspiring view 

Whoa...Stairs!  We call her "Jacob's Ladder". This baby won't last long.

"Old Tipsy" is a classic!
Not for the Faithless!
It takes Faith to pray under this puppy!

A mere Prayer Rock not good enough?
We have ONE Prayer Fortress with a path and outstanding view.
Made in Canada and delivered in ice 

Our Sale Special
We'll clean it up for you and your entire congregation. Easy access and comes with a lovely and firm stand

NICE!  Fit for HQ if I ever saw one!

Buy TWO get this baby FREE!

All of these magnificent Prayer Rocks are made in Canada and Montana.  These samples were Special delivery to our show rooms packed in ice 15,000 years ago give or take.  No deliveries and suggest you pilgrimage to the Prayer Rock in-situ. 

No Refunds
First,Second and Third Tithes Accepted
Price upon request
You work it out with the State
And PLEASE...BE AN ERRATIC PERSONALTY or they don't work.





King Gerry, World Renown Advertising Guru, Soon To Start Advertising Campaign For Eilat Mazar



While King Gerry was in England recently, he took a jaunt to Israel in his new private family jet.  There he met up with Eilat Mazar, the leader of the archaeological dig that Herbert Armstrong College participates in.  King Gerry wants to write a biography of the woman because she is unknown to the world.  By doing so it will highlight the many biblical related discoveries she has overseen and it will give the new King of the Church of God more credibility.
On the flight to Tel Aviv aboard the Philadelphia Church of God’s corporate jet, Mr. Flurry emphasized to Mr. Macdonald the importance of having a much larger work in Jerusalem. His goal, he said, is to get the Church’s message to everyday Jews, who will be much more receptive than the elites. He also discussed writing a biography about Dr. Mazar to bring more attention to her many archaeological discoveries that prove the biblical history accurate. He also discussed building a small team (based at the pcg regional office in Edstone, England), similar to the one Steve Jobs supervised at the animation company Pixar, for the purpose of delivering a powerful warning message to modern Judah through the Internet, radio, publications and advertising.
In the King's ongoing attempt to imitate Herbert Armstrong, King Gerry is now claiming to be a highly skilled participant in the advertising field.  King Flurry wants to bypass the Jewish elite and direct his message about Mazar to the educated lower masses of Judaism and the rest of the world.  By doing this King Gerry will them be able to gain far more credibility, at least in his Kingly eyes, with the world at large.  Before he does this though, he needs to set into place a small dedicated team to get the message out.

With his outstanding and Kingly knowledge in advertising, learned at the feet of Herbert Armstrong, King Gerry is going write some of the greatest archaeological ads the world has ever seen.
At the meeting, Mr. Flurry quoted to Dr. Mazar something she had said in the past: “You need to have vision to do a dig in Jerusalem. You need to see the big picture of how things fit into the biblical picture. … Today’s archaeologists lack this vision, although many of the everyday people still hold it firmly in mind.”
Mr. Flurry then told Dr. Mazar that most of these “everyday people” still haven’t heard about her “sensational discoveries.” A biography mostly about her discoveries, coupled with an advertising campaign about those discoveries, would help change that, he said. Citing his past experience in the advertising field, he said, “I know from what experience I’ve had, that I could write some of the greatest archaeological ads you’ve ever seen.” Dr. Mazar enthusiastically approved his biography pitch.
Mazar is not as unknown as King Gerry likes to pretend.  See: The Ophel Treasure

New King of the Church of God Travels To England



God was busy working many miracles in October for the new King of the Church of God.  Now that Gerald Flurry has declared Herbert's prayer rock to be the new coronation stone and that he himself is the modern day King of the church, till Jesus returns to take possession of it, his God has been clearing the way with miraculous events.

King Gerry was ready to fly to England to visit his English campus at Edstone, when lo and behold, Satan attacked him and caused passport issues.  While all of this as being worked out, his god started telling the high altitude winds, that King Gerry's jet would be flying in, to increase their speed in order to let King Gerry's private plane be able to fly directly from Oklahoma to England without refueling!

Below is an excerpt from Grant Turgeon's slobberfest about the trip.  The most disturbing part is the last paragraph.  Visions of adoring crowds clamoring to get close to Jim Jones, Herbert Armstrong, and leaders of other cults come to mind.  The PCG faithful have totally swallowed Gerald Flurry's lie about HWA's prayer rock, its new significance and the fact that he is now the King that God is supposedly working through.

The sheer depths of spiritual depravity that Armstrongite leaders sink to is mind-boggling.

EDMOND—Philadelphia Church of God Pastor General Gerald Flurry made his first international trip on the Church’s corporate jet from October 10–19. He spent the seventh day of the Feast of Tabernacles and the Last Great Day in Warwickshire, England. Three days later, he flew to Tel Aviv, Israel, and met with Dr. Eilat Mazar in Jerusalem before returning home via England. 
On October 10, the sixth day of the Feast, Mr. Flurry left his home at 6 a.m. to drive to the private hangar in OKC. Due to a passport mix-up, he and his personal assistant, Grant Turgeon, had to return to the headquarters campus. During the 90-minute delay, Capt. James Gay adjusted the flight plan to make up the difference. Strong eastward winds allowed for a rare direct flight from Oklahoma City to Birmingham, England, and enabled Gay to eliminate a refueling stop in South Bend, Indiana. 
After an eight-hour flight, the Gulfstream G450 touched down in Birmingham around 11 p.m. local time. Mr. Flurry said that he felt energized following the trip, the result of near-zero turbulence at 43,000 feet and a cabin pressurization of just 6,000 feet (half that of a commercial flight). A cheerful group of about a dozen pcg members stayed up late to greet him at the private terminal. 
United Kingdom-Europe Regional Director Brad Macdonald and Edstone Foreign Language Translations staff member Emmanuel Michels drove Mr. Flurry and Turgeon to the pcg regional office at Edstone Hall in Warwickshire, arriving just before midnight, where they stayed at the apartment of the Stephen Flurry family. 
The next day, Mr. Flurry gave the sermon and then spent a couple hours speaking with most of the 300-plus members at the Feast site. 
“The brethren are always excited when Mr. Flurry visits, but I thought they were extra excited by this visit,” Mr. Macdonald said. “This was Mr. Flurry’s first visit to the region since the new revelation about his office. That understanding makes a conversation with Mr. Flurry extra special. Since the Feast, I’ve spoken with a few people who relayed how special it was for them to have a few minutes with Mr. Flurry, and how connected they felt to him. More than a few remarked on how warm and open and friendly Mr. Flurry was, and how in their conversations with him it felt as if they’d known one another for years and years.” Pastor General Visits England Feast Site, Meets With Dr. Eilat Mazar on First International Trip Aboard PCG Jet