Friday, November 24, 2017

Genuine Oregon and Willamette Valley Prayer Rocks


...... Give the ultimate Feast Gift to your Pastor, your Church or if you feel God is calling you to start your own, to YOURSELF!



Prayer Rock?  Pfffftttt...



We only ask you have a personality worthy of an Erratic Prayer Rock

Our Showroom
All Prayer Rocks are guaranteed to be made and delivered in exactly the same way HWA's genuine , they say, Prayer Rock was to the Willamette Valley

Just big enough for you and your family.
Comes with a shade tree and vineyard

One of our best designs. You can pray standing up with this unique contour.
Also comes with a vineyard

One of our best Willamette editions.
Nicely angular and accommodates up to three more Elders or 9 Deacons (in addition to yourself of course)

This Puppy is BIG!  Set in a lonely setting where no one is going to wonder what you are doing.  Accommodates 12

Seeking Solitude with a view?  We recommend you pray on the upside of this beauty overlooking the Columbia Gorge

Seeking to be seen of men? This one's for YOU!
Easy access along the highway. You can't be missed. Or go around back where only you can be seen in secret but rewarded openly.

Sorry...this one is sold and in use

Convenient yet private along the Vineyard Trail with an inspiring view 

Whoa...Stairs!  We call her "Jacob's Ladder". This baby won't last long.

"Old Tipsy" is a classic!
Not for the Faithless!
It takes Faith to pray under this puppy!

A mere Prayer Rock not good enough?
We have ONE Prayer Fortress with a path and outstanding view.
Made in Canada and delivered in ice 

Our Sale Special
We'll clean it up for you and your entire congregation. Easy access and comes with a lovely and firm stand

NICE!  Fit for HQ if I ever saw one!

Buy TWO get this baby FREE!

All of these magnificent Prayer Rocks are made in Canada and Montana.  These samples were Special delivery to our show rooms packed in ice 15,000 years ago give or take.  No deliveries and suggest you pilgrimage to the Prayer Rock in-situ. 

No Refunds
First,Second and Third Tithes Accepted
Price upon request
You work it out with the State
And PLEASE...BE AN ERRATIC PERSONALTY or they don't work.





31 comments:

Byker Bob said...

One question. Are these certified by Eilat Mazar and Michael Rood?

BB

Anonymous said...

So, what's the point of the article? What difference will it make to Flurry and his followers how the rock (supposedly) got to where HWA (supposedly) found it?

Anonymous said...

You left out Ayers Rock - now that is a rock!

DennisCDiehl said...

No BB. I am the sole distributor for the Willamette Prayer Rock Supply House. Only my certification is necessary or remotely valid in such mattters. I know where they come from and have utmost confidence in their provenience and origins. I accept no substitutes or outside opinions as do my clients not as well. It's how we roll.

And yes, you may take all these Prayer Rocks for Granite.

Susan said...

I would like to order a few of these. Do you have a discount rate for bulk shipping?
I am also interested in that big rock in Australia called Uluru, the iconic big red rock. Are you able to sell that as well?
Let me know costs and shipping please.
Love and kisses,
Susan

Herbert "The Pervert" Armstrong said...

If I pray to these rocks will it get all that ACOG horse shit out of my head so I can move on with my life and live a more productive lifestyle?

Anonymous said...

How about that monolithic limestone called the Rock of Gibraltar.
Can I pay you through PayPal?
Do you have a refund policy?

DPR567 said...

Gerald Flurry has a pet rock, now Dave Pack needs a pet rock.

RSK said...

How much for Haystack Rock? Imma retire there.

Dennis Diehl said...

The point of the posting is to give Dave Pack, Gerald Flurry, Bob Thiel and a host of others to me to say and do ridiculous theological and self absorbed things to report on. I on the other hand tend to wonder how HWA's granite prayer rock ended up on a farm in Eugene in a state with no granite.

It's my way of regretting having wasted time thinking I was supposed to be in ministry when younger and that the Bible was telling me truth about the origins of just about everything.

I'd have made a hell of a geologist or paleontologist if I had stayed on course.

Mayne so COG kid will read Banned and a spark of real scientific or historical curiosity will set them on course and not adrift

Connie Schmidt said...

Flurry's rock is a .... CROCK!

Hoss said...

William Jennings Bryan: The Rock of Ages is more important than the age of rocks.

Byker Bob said...

The correct prayer rock for HWA or Gerald Flurry is coprolite. Ah, the symbolism that evokes!

BB

Anonymous said...

What are you, 12?

Anonymous said...

You ALL Should Be Ashamed!

Anonymous said...

This forum is full of hatred towards good people!

DennisCDiehl said...

RSK I was near Haystack Rock a couple weeks ago. It is perfect for both prayer and baptisms.

DennisCDiehl said...


Anonymous said...
How about that monolithic limestone called the Rock of Gibraltar.
Can I pay you through PayPal?
Do you have a refund policy?

There are no refunds just as there are not return of tithes for services and prophecies unfulfilled. We can be pals but I don't do paypay. The Rock of Gibraltar is not for sale and resides far outside the Willamette Valley rendering it powerless for prayer. It is being preserved as one of the last hold outs for Neanderthal as their remains have been found in it's caves.

DennisCDiehl said...

Anonymous Herbert "The Pervert" Armstrong said...
If I pray to these rocks will it get all that ACOG horse shit out of my head so I can move on with my life and live a more productive lifestyle?

No, prayer rocks will not help you move on. Prayer will not help you move on. It is a choice and a discipline. One needs to adopt the skill of getting out of the past wherein lies anger and depression over things you felt you could not then express or the price of doing so was too high. Get over that. Anxiety is a product of the unknowable future. It is why humans invent religion and prophecy to give themselves fake answers to the anxiety of "what's going to happen to me."

I suggest Eckhart Tolle's THE POWER OF NOW and THE NEW EARTH as a start. A good read on the nature of the "painbody" we all carry around and that is our false self trying to run the show also will help. Tolle covers this nicely

Lake of Fire Church of God said...

Dennis,

Keeping in mind that God calls "the weak and base things" to confound the mighty, I suggest you put adequate product liability warning labels on the classic "Old Tipsy" model. We wouldn't want to read in the news about one of God's very own elect putting their head underneath the rock in prayer - have it roll over and crush them - and then read about some blood sucking attorney on behalf of unconverted relatives suing everybody associated with the damn rock including you, and the PCG for coming up with such a pea-brained idea of idolizing HWA cloned prayer rocks in the first place.

By the way, I thought the satire point of your post was that there is an abundance of rocks in the Willamette Valley that might have been used (or could have been used) by HWA during his Oregon years. Dave Pack, almost arrested for Sabbath keeping Elijah Profit bitter Bob Thiel, Ron the tax cheat felon Weinland and others have ample Williamette prayer rock supply to get their hands on to use in duping the dumb tithe slave sheep with. Did I miss the point?

Richard

Dennis Diehl said...

Richard
All prayer come "as is" and any complaints are to be taken up with Mother Earth's lawyer Baal God of Weather and agriculture

Byker Bob said...

Seriously, anonymous dude at 9:41? What good people are you talking about?

BB

RSK said...

(Anon 9:41) Since the only person named in most comments is Gerald Flurry, are you saying you believe Gerald Flurry to be a good person?

Byker Bob said...

The main objective would seem to be getting these rocks to speak up! Didn't Jesus say that if people proved to be worthless in terms of getting out the gospel, the Father would raise up stones to do it? Well, the ACOGs are worthless and have done a botched job.

BB

Anonymous said...

RSK, this thread is full of Gerald Flurry. Gerald Flurry is full of hatred towards good people. Therefore, this thread is full of hatred towards good people.

Anonymous said...

So anyone with sledge hammer could bring an end to God's coronation plans??? Mr. Flurry must now have 24 hour guard duty standing by the rock, or perhaps sitting on the rock.

Allen C. Dexter said...

Love it, Dennis! It gave me a couple good laughs. A little lightness doesn't hurt once in awhile.

DennisCDiehl said...

RSK, love your reasoning process lol

DennisCDiehl said...

Oh sorry RSK. That's not you. That's anon. Love YOUR reasoning process 448

Anonymous said...

What a relief that Dennis isn't selling Kryptonite rocks.

Cheers Superman

Dennis Diehl said...

Actually 1016 the Willamette Meteorite found two miles from where I write this , at 16 tons of space iron might do the trick. The ultimate celestial prayer rock. It also was I've tagged into the Willamette valley by the Missoula flood of 15,000ish years ago from Montana