Monday, September 6, 2021

PCG's "The Trumpet" Trumps Again: Donald Trump To Be Reinstated As President By Mutinous Military Leaders!


One thing most Americans can probably agree on, whether left or right on the political spectrum, is that the entire 20-year engagement in Afghanistan was a huge monumental failure, a waste of money with little to show for it but a 2 trillion dollar windfall for the military industry.

Nevertheless, it has ended, and while there's plenty of blame to be assigned, Gerald Flurry's Philadelphia Church of God has one of the more nutty interpretations, as usual, making wild guesses disguised as prophetic predictions in their flagship publication, The Trumpet:

You see, this ending of the war is likely going to provoke a "military uprising" by the US military against the Biden administration, leading to a military action that will reinstate Donald Trump as the rightful President, or possibly with him leading a secession of states from the union! ("President Trump could also lead some states to secede from the union. That would lead to some kind of warfare.") "How Afghanistan Could Help Donald Trump Return to the Presidency"

Yes, you read that correctly.

Now, this is not a political post, as I understand that Banned is not a political blog. And Flurry can have his political views as he likes, but he goes far into crazy land when he writes things like this. And, unbelievably, he goes digging for scriptures to somehow support his wide-eyed theories [as quoted in the article]:

“Verse 28 of 2 Kings 14 strongly indicates that Mr. Trump recovers his presidency by some kind of warring—not voting,” Mr. Flurry wrote. “It seems certain to me that this will happen before the next presidential election in 2024—unless there would be some kind of war and voting combined.”

Really, if he thinks the scribal writers of 2 Kings had the slightest interest in trying to guess, or even conceive of, what would happen over 2000 years after their time, he might as well read The Hobbit and try to map events in Middle Earth to modern world events.

 

"It seems certain to me that this will happen before the next presidential election in 2024", Flurry says.

The only thing that we can say for sure is that 2024 is definitely going to come along. So we expect a full retraction from the PCG and The Trumpet if (when) no such civil war takes place and Trump is NOT the president, because their private interpretation of scripture is just nutty and wishful thinking on their part.

 

If the COG splinters would stop trying to shoehorn ancient writings to make them somehow portray whatever the current event of the day is, they would look a lot less ridiculous than they do. The writers of 2 Kings wrote in their time, about their time, and for their time, not about our time. How much clearer could 2 Kings 14:28 be? [as quoted by Flurry]:

“Now the rest of the acts of Jeroboam, and all that he did, and his might, how he warred, and how he recovered Damascus, and Hamath, which belonged to Judah, for Israel, are they not written in the book of the chronicles of the kings of Israel?”

Are the writers not clear enough that this is what "Jeroboam ... did"? Not what Trump or any other celebrity "will do". The writers are explicitly saying that all that "Jeroboam" did, how he warred, recovered "Damascus", for "Israel", is what we wrote here and in the other chronicles. How silly do you have to be to think they're talking about Donald Trump? They clearly specified who they were talking about. Obviously, they were writing history (whether accurate or not is another issue), for purposes relating to their own time and their own issues and problems. 

But no, Flurry breathlessly insists, this verse says that Mr. Trump will recover his presidency!

I hate to break it to him, but it doesn't indicate what anybody does in the future. Read it, Gerald - notice that it's written in the *past tense*.

"Jeroboam ... warred... recovered". NOT: "[Some end-time] Jeroboam ... will war .. will recover". Past history, not future prophecy.

In WCG circles you might be able to get away with this, but people who haven't been conditioned to read past tense passages in some sort of superimposed future tense way [why, he's a TYPE of Jeroboam!], can see how ridiculous you sound, Trumpet publishers. You're not going to grow your tithe base that way, at least not in today's world.

On second thought, keep it up, as it will help those all-important tithes to shrivel up...

Submitted by...Michael

BEST FEAST EVER! ...or else



This is my least favorite Feast scripture often quoted by the ministry, and sorry to say myself a few times,  in countless sermons at the Feast over the years.  Aside from the fact that the author still anticipated plagues upon their still in use horses, mules, camels and donkeys, thus rendering it as something very far into the future ridiculous, it is an incredibly bad example on how to motivate people to attend the Feast. It's an incredibly bad example on how to motivate anyone to do anything. It's an incredibly bad example of forcing belief in what there is  understandably no belief in.  It's the consequences for not doing that motivate.  

I mean, how would you react if Islam, by the hand of Allah, rotted out the eyes and tongues of loved ones not yet into the Islamic Faith, while still alive and then we, as survivors, forced to keep Ramadan?  Would Ramadan be your "Best Ramadan Ever"?  Well aside from it being your first of many or else.  

Do we really believe the losers against Israel, now forced to go to the Feast or the God of Love will cut off their rain are going to sing "Praise ye the Lordo" with zest and feeling of gratitude?  Do we think that singing "climbing through the windows leap" will bring back good times and fond memories?  Do we really think those defeated gentiles in the future to whom this mandatory Festival attendance policy , or else , would rejoice in "Onward Christian soldiers , marching as to war. With the cross of Jesus going on before"?

This is more a formula for PTSD!  Post Theological Stress Disorder.  




Zechariah 14:

12This is the plague with which the Lord will strike all the nations that fought against Jerusalem: Their flesh will rot while they are still standing on their feet, their eyes will rot in their sockets, and their tongues will rot in their mouths. 13On that day people will be stricken by the Lord with great panic. They will seize each other by the hand and attack one another. 14Judah too will fight at Jerusalem. The wealth of all the surrounding nations will be collected—great quantities of gold and silver and clothing. 15A similar plague will strike the horses and mules, the camels and donkeys, and all the animals in those camps.

16Then the survivors from all the nations that have attacked Jerusalem will go up year after year to worship the King, the Lord Almighty, and to celebrate the Festival of Tabernacles. 17If any of the peoples of the earth do not go up to Jerusalem to worship the King, the Lord Almighty, they will have no rain. 18If the Egyptian people do not go up and take part, they will have no rain. The Lord b will bring on them the plague he inflicts on the nations that do not go up to celebrate the Festival of Tabernacles. 19This will be the punishment of Egypt and the punishment of all the nations that do not go up to celebrate the Festival of Tabernacles.


Sunday, September 5, 2021

The Math is Incorrect: Prophet Bobalonia Pronounces Bullshitta on Shemitahs!

 There's been a lot of talk about Shemitahs lately...evidently. 


 

"Modern Jews claim that the period of time from sunset September 6, 2021 through sunset September 25, 2022 is a 'Shemitah year.' Some claim that this and the year that begins when this one ends (the claimed 'jubilee' is being called a 'super shemitah") and runs through 2023 may cause destruction or the Great Reset. Is this possible? Is Messianic Jew, Jonathan Cahn (of the Harbinger fame) a prophet of God as Pat Robertson has said or a false prophet? Was he right about the financial collapse of the USA in 2015? Are the Jews right about their Shemitah year being year 5982, or is 5991 closer? What about the beginning of sorrows? Dr. Thiel addresses these issues and more."

BibleNewsProphecy: 2022-2023 Shemitahs: Destruction/Reset?

Spoiler Alert
For entertainment purposes only

The Great Prophet "clearly" shows how the Great Shemitahs Destruction Reset is nothing to worry about.  They do not fit his calculations so if you were concerned about them beginning this month on the 6th, you can relax.  

And too...Someone, please send Prophet Bobalonia a New Testament for Christ's sake...and his own!