Thursday, June 19, 2014

King James Was Not Loose In His Boots!!!!!

This made my day.  Well done!

Anonymous said..
How dare this site imply that King James was gay! The word didn't even mean that back in his times so how could he be "Gay"??? God would not choose a gay King to write down his own God breathed words and you should know better. And don't give me that "But God lives alone in heaven with no wife and with his single son" either! It's different in God's world. His relationships are not our relationships. And just because men have to marry Christ in the resurrection and women have to become sons of God is NO reason to go after Noble King James!!! Men marrying Jesus is not GAY! It's spiritual.

And NO. Just because Mary, as a 12 to 14 year old middle eastern girl was not married when God impregnated her, it is not FORNICATION either!!! God's thoughts are HIGHER than YOURS! And NO, it is not sex with a minor either!!!

And just because it says she was prego by the Holy Spirit who is a third person...just don't go there Mr. YOUR way SEEMS right to You, but you need to know where it is going to end.

God's ways are not YOUR ways Mr. Blogger and His thoughts are NOT YOUR thoughts!

King James was not Gay nor was he loose in the boots. He was God's chosen instrument to bring us all we need to know about relationships and proper living.

Cancel my subscription


Retired Prof said...

Hey! Excellent satire. Thanks.

Irony may not be more effective at changing hearts and minds than reasoned discourse. But it's a whole lot more fun. For that reason alone it's worth the trouble.

Anonymous said...

Just because King James was gay and had gay sex with other gay men shouldn't make fans of the KJV Bible blink.

(Other things should, though.)

Connie Schmidt said...

King James did not translate the Bible. He merely authorized it to be done. Whether James was homosexual or not, casts no aspersion on the Bible or its translation in the least.

Men like Tynadale and Wycliffe who gave their entire existences up for the promotion of the English Bible are heroes in the truest sense of the word.

Ed said...

I told a friend that I didn't believe in hell. I told him that if there is a merciful God how can he send anyone to a place that they will have undescribable pain inflicted on them for all eternity. His reply was that Gods thoughts are not our thoughts. OK what he was saying was that Gods thoughts are so far above ours that what we see as extremely cruel is actually mercy to God.

I suppose that the Lake of Fire is more humane then hell. however I don't believe in any punishment by God. Wouldn't it be easier for God to correct us in this life then to condemn us for all eternity. After all he created us imperfect why would he condemn us for being imperfect?

Corky said...

The KJV was written in an English dialect that was already outdated at the time the work was done. It's not a translation either, it's a "version" of English translations already in existence that were not authorized by the church.

The fact that the KJV used an olde outdated dialect in print should have made people suspect that something was wrong. Strange that it never has because that's one of the easiest ways to twist meanings as there is.

Anonymous said...

King James didn't blab any drab gab. He chattered hep patter!

If Ted Haggard was taking it where the sun don't shine, and we know that HWA and GTA had issues with sex, how many COG leaders like Meredith might have similar issues that they've managed to keep covered up?

Anonymous said...

King James was not "gay". He was bisexual.

What I think is hilarious is that an Armstrongite doesn't believe that God would allow a man who played with other men's penises to be in charge of translating the Bible into English, but apparently he believes that a man who screwed his own daughter for ten years could be an apostle and restore God's church for the end times.

old EXPCG hag said...

KJV "abuser of himself with mankind"

He WAS married, because this was expected of him.

But I've found there are a lot of men who are married as a front, but are secretly gay...I mean happy...I mean abusers of themselves with mankind.

But what does this have to do with translating the Bible...again?

UT, The Reigning Being of Being Banned by Banned by HWA said...

The historical outing of King James is debatable; however, one unarguable fact is, outside of sexuality, he was a royal douchelord.

The same is true of all troubled-true Christians and Armstrongites alike; they're all a herd of assholes, regardless of which holes they like to play.

However, the message of Christianity is: there is no act too horrendous to be cleansed and no sinner too gruesome to be redeemed - because of a Savior willing to do it all for the worst among us.

Forgiveness is available for the bloodiest of assholes like Meredith, Flurry, and Pack but instead, Armstrongism is anal about rejecting the saving of the Savior, exalting their depraved leaders, and despising those who've been redeemed.

Anonymous said...

Old EXPCG hag asks...

"What does this have to do with translating the Bible...again?"

I suppose for some, they'd think that one of the Christian Gods would have done better to not have a gay person commission the translation of Their Holy Book.

On the other hand, I suppose that for some others, they'd think that having a gay person commission that translation would be a test of Christian's faith from "on high"

I have no doubt, though, that the upcoming Duck Dynasty Duck Commander translation will make it clear to the Christian Gods just who are worthy to be considered part of the true Faithful Flock.
(I am locking myself into the Kingdom now- celebrating communion every week by drinking some of Phil Robertson's marinade and eating communion quackers.)

Byker Bob said...

I feel a limerick coming on!

"There once was a king from Venus..........