We have all been reading the various comments on this blog lately as people react to the horrendous news coming out of the four biggest Church of God's: Living Church of God, United Church of God, Philadelphia Church of God and Restored Church of God. Despite the stories of abuse directly from leaders of these various groups, some people willingly whitewash these stories and describe them all as "tests" that God is using to test their mettle.
Many of these people have witnessed this abuse for decades as they have jumped from one group to another seeking to find the "true" spiritual leader they long for. They have witnessed horrible things happen yet will not say anything negative about the leader. It is preferable to be blind, deaf and dumb to these things than it is to take a stand for what is right.
The common comment thrown out by the hyper-righteous is, "We are to work out our own salvation with fear and trembling." In other words you are not responsible for the abusive minister because it might just be a test to see how well you follow the power structure of the church. God's government is from the top down and it all might be a test to see how well you submit.
12 Wherefore,
my beloved, as ye have always obeyed, not as in my presence only, but
now much more in my absence, work out your own salvation with fear and
trembling. Philippians 2:12
The church has always thrown this around more as a threat than an idea of comfort. The
Message Bible says this:
Rejoicing Together
12-13 What
I’m getting at, friends, is that you should simply keep on doing what
you’ve done from the beginning. When I was living among you, you lived
in responsive obedience. Now that I’m separated from you, keep it up.
Better yet, redouble your efforts. Be energetic in your life of
salvation, reverent and sensitive before God. That energy is God’s energy, an energy deep within you, God himself willing and working at what will give him the most pleasure.
Pleasure is NOT something that most COG members have been told to experience. It's one long list of "do and don't" with the "don't" list being 100 times larger than the "do" list. Pleasure is not experienced when a minister tells a parent to kick their daughter to the curb, or abandon their disabled child at the mall so the government can take care of "it." Pleasure is not watching a loved one die of a horrible and painful death because the leader of the church said not to use doctors. Pleasure is not watching family members and friends shot to death in church because of a certain leaders sermon.
The other scripture that various COG's love to throw out is James 4:11 as an attempt quell any criticism.
Do not speak evil against one another, brothers. The one who speaks
against a brother or judges his brother, speaks evil against the law and
judges the law. But if you judge the law, you are not a doer of the law
but a judge.
Most COG members feel that they cannot "judge" or hold accountable abusive church leaders. "God will handle it all in the end, I must endure and run the race" is the favorite belief of many COG members. Is that really being truthful? Covering up abusive pastors and leaders by sweeping it all under the rug with the "god will handle it excuse" is why so many have died at the hands of COG leaders.
One of the lessons from the Bible is that all men and women are
fallible. Therefore, all people, especially leaders, need some form of
accountability. Although pastors are called to lead their congregations,
they are under the authority of God’s Word. When they act in a manner
contrary to Scripture they need to be confronted, and improper behavior
needs to be corrected. In 2 Samuel 22, the prophet Nathan confronted
King David about his sin. In Galatians 2, Paul confronted Peter, the
leader of the Apostles, for not acting in line with the truth. “Paul
declared by this action that the truth always outranks position or title
in the church. Truth and its authority are not rooted in personality or
office. It is derived from the word of God and the truth it proclaims.”{8} Blue continues: “Paul taught that the body of Christ is a nonhierarchical living organism.”{9} Abusive Churches: Leaving Them Behind
When will COG members ever hold their leaders accountable?
Here is an expert from the same article dealing with abusive pastors:
Philip Keller gave us a stern warning in his book, Predators in Our Pulpits: “The greatest threat to the church today is not from without but from our own leadership within.”{5}
Often an abusive church is built around the leader who practices some
unhealthy forms of shepherding. Many such leaders come from churches
that were abusive or have an unmet need for significance. Many may have
begun with noble intentions, but their unresolved personal issues cause
them to become dependent on their ministry to meet their needs. In his
book, Healing Spiritual Abuse, Ken Blue does an outstanding job identifying unhealthy leadership. Here are a few characteristics of an abusive leader.
Abusive leaders use their position to demand loyalty and submission.
Ken Blue states, “I have heard many pastors say to their congregations,
‘Because I am the pastor, you must follow me.’ Their demand was not
based on truth or the God-directedness of their leadership but on their
title. That is a false basis of authority . . . any appeal to authority
based on position, title, degree or office is false. The only authority
God recognizes and to which we should submit to is truth.” {6}
Other leaders use titles such as “God’s man” or “the Lord’s anointed”
so that others will treat them with special reverence and keep
themselves above accountability that others in the congregation are held
to. “If by appealing to position, unique claims or special anointings,
leaders succeed in creating a hierarchy in the church, they can more
easily control those beneath them. They can also defend themselves
against any who might challenge them.”{7}
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Instead of feeding and caring for the flock, these pastors feed off the
flock and use them to meet their needs for significance. Ken Blue gives
an example of a “pastor whose church has not grown numerically in twelve
years. Frustrated by his manifest lack of success, he turned to the
congregation to meet his need. He has laid on them a building program in
hopes that a new, larger, more attractive facility will draw more
people. The congregation has split over this issue. Many have left the
church, and those who remain are saddled with the debt.”{10}
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True spiritual leaders are defined by Christ’s example. “Whoever
wants to be great among you must become the servant of all” (Matt.
20:26). Christ-like leadership is servanthood.
True leaders gain the loyalty of the sheep because of the quality of
their character and their attitude of servanthood. The members freely
submit to Christ-like leadership and do not have to be coerced to
follow. Good shepherds lighten the load of the sheep while false leaders
add to the load on the sheep.
Narcissism is one of the biggest problem in the Church of God and always has been. There was no bigger narcissist in the church than Herbert Armstrong. Flurry, Pack, Kubik, Webber, Meredith and all the rest are full time narcissists trained by the greatest narcissist of them all.
Narcissism. The reason that many Christians have a
problem with developing empathy skills is because they have a problem
with narcissism. Narcissists are not necessarily bad people. Narcissism
simply means that, for whatever reason, the person's only point of
reference in life is himself. For the narcissist only his thoughts, his
feelings, his perceptions are fully real. For him the thoughts,
feelings, and perceptions of others are less real. In the religious
context, narcissists simply assume that what they think God thinks, and
what they believe is Bible-based. They take it for granted that any idea
that jumps into their heads is from the Holy Spirit and that they are
only following the promptings of the Holy Spirit whenever they decide to
do anything. The fact that other people may see their words as being
less than holy, their motives as being less than pure, and their actions
as being hurtful and injurious never occurs to them. When you believe
that you are right and righteous, then all that you say and do is right
and righteous. Any thought to the contrary never enters the picture. Spiritual Abuse
Dichotomous Thinking. Abusive Christians in
abusive church fellowships generally exhibit dichotomous (either-or)
thinking patterns. With them everything is black/white, this/that,
either/or, us/them, good/bad, etc. There are never any weeds among the
wheat. When something is good it is all good; when something is bad it
is all bad. Of course, dichotomous thinking Christians put themselves in
the all-good camp, while others who may not agree with them on some
minute detail of theology or Bible interpretation are in the all-bad
camp.
With abusive Christians there are no ambiguities, no unanswered
questions, no gray areas, no doubts. Everything is sorted, classified,
and properly labeled. They are right, others are wrong; they are
spiritual, others are not; they truly believe the Scriptures, others do
not; they are thoroughly committed to Jesus, others are not; etc., etc.
To disagree with them is to disagree with God. They are, of course, the
final judge and jury of what the Bible says, regardless of subject
matter. They have the exact interpretation of any given particular
Scripture text; any other nuance or shade of meaning is considered
heresy. Dichotomous thinking Christians believe they have everything all
figured out (when they do not) and that they have everything properly
classified and labeled, which is often not the case. They have the
definitive Bible-based answer for every question, even when they have
not understood the question. Dichotomous thinking Christians have a
one-size-fits-all hammer for every problem, even when what is needed for
a particular problem is a screwdriver.
Does your COG have any of these things happening in it? If it does, then the reality is it is an abusive group.
- Abusive church leaders in abusive churches are into power and
control. Enroth writes, "The spiritual autocrat, the religious
dictator, attempts to compel subordination; the true Christian leader
can legitimately only elicit fellowership." Within a church context a
legitimate leader promotes cooperation among church members, not
dominate-submissive relationships. Legitimate church leaders have
leadership rooted in trust. Enroth points out that legitimate Christian
leaders lead with an entrusted authority.
- Abusive church leaders in abusive churches are into dichotomous
thinking. With them everything is black-white, either-or, this-that,
us-them. Dichotomous thinking is generally expressed in overt or implied
terms such as "we the true followers of Jesus" versus those others "who
are not as spiritual as we are." Of course, dichotomous abusive church
leaders are the judge and jury on who is or who is not spiritual, who is
or who is not fully walking with Jesus.
- Abusive church leaders in abusive churches are into legalistic
perfectionism and perfectionist legalism. Again, legalisms are not about
holiness; they are about power and control. Naturally, activities like
fasting, keeping away from worldly amusements, attending numerous prayer
meetings may in fact be spiritual and wholesome activities. However,
when these activities are extreme, rigid, or excessive then we are
talking about addiction, not spirituality.
- Abusive church leaders in abusive churches have a tendency towards
isolationism. Some of this isolationism may be more social than
physical. Abusive groups will not mix with the impure or with the
unholy. With them light has no fellowship with darkness, and they are
very clear who is in the light and who is in the dark. Thus, they tend
to isolate themselves from the world and even from other Christian
groups.
- Abusive church leaders in abusive churches are obsessed with
discipline and even excommunication. In some abusive Christian circles,
to question the church leader(s) means questioning God Himself. Abusive
Christians are so certain that they are right and that they have the
mind of Christ that they can be extremely punitive if they are not
obeyed.
- Abusive church leaders in abusive churches discourage church
members' having contacts with people outside the fellowship, including
family members. Obviously, church leaders that tell young people "Do not
listen to your parents, listen only to us" should be suspected.
- Abusive church leaders in abusive churches install surveillance
systems (read "pastoral care") within their fellowships. Of course, for
abusive church leaders a surveillance system is all about a spiritual
concern regarding people's souls and how to best pastorally and
brotherly look after the sheep of the flock. However, these surveillance
systems go way beyond pastoral care. They are about power and control.
- Abusive church leaders in abusive churches promote a Pied Piper
mentality, especially among young people. For example, a youth leader
who becomes a Pied Piper and has all the youth of the congregation
running after him is a bad scene. A legitimate Christian youth leader
should want the youngsters of the church fellowship to be forming
positive and healthy relationships with a variety of people in the
fellowship, not just with himself. There is no room for a personality
cult in a legitimate non-abusing Christian fellowship. Spiritual Abuse
Church of God members need to get over the fear that they are disobeying God by holding their leaders accountable. Non accountability lead to Rod Meredith preaching a sermon that led a member to shoot and kill LCG members. Rod McNair claims that elderly are possessed by demons. Gerald Flurry and Cal Culpepper's actions and words caused the suicide of a beautiful young woman. Dave Pack has robbed his members blind financially, ripped marriages apart and turned sons against mothers.
How long must this go on? How many more need to have their families ripped apart. How many more need to abandon family members. How many more need to die before anyone steps up and holds these men accountable?