I had a person contact me tonight that sounds like he is part of Flurry's cult. One of his comments was, "Get over it!"
On Facebook today there was a reference to seem of the comments by Darlene Quimet on her blog, "Emerging From Broken: From Surviving to Thriving On The Journey To Wholeness"
Being told to “just get over it” is devaluing. It implies that I am making a mistake in processing an event. It indicates that something is wrong with ME because I am in still confused about something that has not been resolved. The statement is emotionally abusive. And even when it is used in a positive context, as in the example in the first paragraph, there is a negative left over from all the abuse that was forced on me in the past.
WHY is it wrong to need to have something understood or resolved in the first place?
Furthermore, people who say stuff like this don’t have any solutions; they don’t ever offer suggestions on HOW to get over it or deal with it, because they don’t know how either.
They only offer devaluing and thoughtless instructions that remind me of my childhood and how I was never right, never good enough and never entitled to my feelings or to my pain. I was not entitled to realize that I had been wronged. I was always the one who was wrong no matter what the situation was.
And once again this all began in childhood. Being conditioned this way as a child prepared me to accept that something was wrong with me, so statements like this trigger the same feelings of “not good enough” and “what is wrong with me, why can’t I just get it right?” Add that to “powerless and helpless child” and the teachings, feelings as well as the reactions have carried on into adulthood.
Until I learned that I do have rights, that I am as equally valuable as everyone else and that I AM ALLOWED to and NEED TO feel the pain of the past and get angry about it SO THAT I COULD “get over it” (which was how I did get over it) but until I embraced those truths, I was stuck in the sick dysfunctional system.