Prophet Thiel: "True" Christians will NOT Be Watching the Super Bowl

Prophet Thiel is on his yearly rant about the evils of American style football. To Prophet Thiel it is another satanic conspiracy to deceive the elect.

With all the truly many evils in the world, that Thiel and the Living Church of God NEVER talk about, he speaks out against football. You never see Prophet Thiel or the LCG doing anything for the homeless and the marginalized.  They hold themselves aloof by saying, "It is not our problem in this age. God is going to correct it soon, and the world will be in true happiness and peace."  They never seem to realize that with the coming of Christ and his many miracles he was already bringing the Kingdom to earth.  While not in it's entirety, it was through small bits and pieces that restore peoples lives.

Anyway, I digress.  Back to the most Holy of the COG Prophets.

Prophet Thiel was incensed by a CNN news program that discussed the injuries received by football players.  Then the Prophet makes an astounding jump to ancient Rome.  Because most American football cames are played in coliseums, the Prophet links to the various activities carried on in Rome's coliseums.

The Prophet writes:

In the time of ancient Rome, violent sports were also popular.
Were they viewed by many of those that professed Christ?
It does not appear so.

The Prophet then has to admit that there is NO information out there that TRUE Church of God members did not watch coliseum sports.  However, he quickly makes this leap of faith:

While we do not seem to have many direct references from those in the Church of God, we do have some written records of those who were at least somewhat familiar with the teachings of Jesus and the practices of the earliest Christians.

Remember folks, there are no TRUE Christians outside the Church of God so these people must have heard SOME of the TRUTH but rejected the rest of it.

The Prophet then quotes an early Christian whom Prophet Thiel thinks was a TRUE Church of God member:

Here is something from Theophilus of Antioch (who probably was part of the Church of God)...

Consider, therefore, whether those who teach such things can possibly live indifferently, and be commingled in unlawful intercourse, or, most impious of all, eat human flesh, especially when we are forbidden so much as to witness shows of gladiators, lest we become partakers and abettors of murders. But neither may we see the other spectacles, lest our eyes and ears be defiled,

So, true Christians did not believe that they were to watch the violent sports so popular in the second century.

Athenagoras, a professing Christian apologist, wrote around 170 A.D.:

What man of sound mind, therefore, will affirm, while such is our character, that we are murderers?…
Who does not reckon among the things of greatest interest the contests of gladiators and wild beasts, especially those which are given by you? But we, deeming that to see a man put to death is much the same as killing him, have abjured such spectacles

Obviously Christians would not go and watch others being tortured and killed in the coliseums.  But you can be guaranteed that they also went along to other festivals where none violent things happened.  Just like hundreds of LCGers will be gathered around television screens to watch the Super Bowl!  Those ancient Christians would have  went to some of these events just to give the impression that they were "normal" Roman citizens.  Kind of like LCGers that have birthday parties in restaurants, go out dancing in dance clubs, play football, and eat in restaurants for a quite Friday night dinner. They have the need to feel "normal" too.

 Prophet Thiel goes on to state that ancient TRUE Christians and even fake Catholic ones had sense to see that violent sports were evil.  But then the Prophet goes on to quote the world's foremost authority on violence in sports:

So, those who professed Christ in the second and third century generally did not feel that viewing or participating in violent sports was appropriate.

In more recent times, the late Herbert W. Armstrong wrote:

Hostility toward the other is sin…Boxing at Ambassador College is definitely banned. God did not create the human brain and head to be pummeled and knocked senseless by an antagonist.

Football (American football) is a violent body-contact sport. It is often played with an attitude of hostility and is dangerous and is fraught with physical injury. (Plain Truth, July-August 1984)

I think the funny thing about this quote is that while HWA said this, the College and Church members were active participants in all the Rose Bowl games and activities.  They raised money for each group by selling pork hot dogs, beer, film, programs, souvenirs. They ushered and took tickets. The College was an active participant in the New Years parade and provided space and use of facilities for parking, band rehearsals, television broadcasts and much more.

The Prophet ends with this:

“Love does no harm to a neighbor” (Romans 13:9), yet what do violent sports like American football and boxing do?  Are those who participate neighbors for Christians?  Should people be encouraged to participate in violent activities which are proven to cause harm?

Which causes more harm.  A game of football, or teaching aberrant doctrines that deceive people spiritually?

I think the Prophet needs to lay off the naturopathic and herbal drugs he has been peddling off to his patients and take a dose of reality.

It just amazes me that the Living Church of God promotes this guy as a theologian in their midst.  All he has done over the last several years is make LCG look like complete fools at times.

8 Year Old Guitarist

A break from the silliness of Armstrongism for a moment:

Guest Article: "Just What Do You Mean ... Church Culture?"

Just What Do You Mean ... Church Culture?

One of the things that’s desperately sick about the COGs is the culture. It is a deeply dysfunctional culture that fosters and facilitates abuse. Everyone in the world grows up around other people who are users and abusers. We have to put up with our dysfunctional families, fair-weather friends, and governments that rob you blind. But not everyone has a church abusing them on top of all that. Armstrongites are gluttons for punishment.

It’s one thing to recognize that the COGs have abusive tendencies, but it’s another thing to define it in such a way that you can see the pattern, understand what those tendencies are, and where they’re coming from. I find it necessary to do this so I can get the tentacles unwrapped from around my mind and heal.

So, where did the culture of the COGs come from? I think that many leaders would haul out the phrase “God’s government” and start declaring the culture of the church is 100% biblical. Well, if it’s so biblical, then why is it so dysfunctional and abusive? Why are the COGs so full of hypocrisy? While the COGs might PREACH out of the bible, the CULTURE of the church has little to do with the bible.

So then where does it come from? The culture of the Armstrongist churches was not woven from the fabric of the bible. It came from Herbert Armstrong and from the society of his times.

Herbert Armstrong was born in middle America (Des Moines, Iowa) in 1892. His family was of Quaker background, known today as the Friends Church. The Quaker movement began in the 1600’s with the express intention of restoring the original faith and practices of the first century apostolic church. (Sound familiar?) In a sense, when HWA decided to get religion and found the Radio Church of God, he was returning to his Quaker roots. But this is the obvious theology, which is just the decorative window dressing, not the form and structure. Where did the steel undergirders come from that hold the structure up?

The power structure of the church, the government hierarchy, if you will, was always stated as being Jesus Christ, and then Armstrong, and then ministers and then regular members in a government where power and authority flowed from the top down, just like a monarchy. Apologists today will point toward the bible, and Jesus Christ as a king to argue that HWA was trying to create the “’government of God’ here on earth” within the church. However, if you suppose that Jesus Christ is not the head of the Armstrongist churches, then suddenly it’s not a benevolent monarchy anymore, it’s a fascist state.

But there’s a better viewpoint on Armstrongist churches that sheds much more light on the dynamics driving them: the nuclear family. The family is also a top-down structure, but borne of natural necessity, not fear. HWA preached that God is in the process of creating a family, and he claimed that the church was “the bride of Christ” or a part of “’God’s spiritual nuclear family’ here on earth.” I don't dispute that there is biblical support for the idea that God is making a family. However, unless God is making a horrendously dysfunctional “family,” as HWA created within his church, the culture of Armstrongism has nothing to do with God or bible necessarily, regardless of the theory.

In Victorian society, into which HWA was born, until the cultural revolution of the sixties, children were expected to be respectful of their parents, women were expected to be submissive, and the husband was expected to be the dominant head of the family. These were times when the media presented the father figure as someone who knew what was best. To be fair, these values are rooted in the bible and come from a religiously-centered society. But since people are people, there’s a darker side, too.

For thousands of years, within the context of society, men have had a lot more power than women did, and this created an environment in which women were very dependent upon their husbands. During most of HWA’s lifetime, there was a stigma attached to being a single parent, or being a divorced woman, and the prevailing sentiment was that women should not earn a living outside the home. There was a paternalistic view that men go off to work and do important “men things,” while adult women were not very intelligent, little more than glorified children, really. Women were expected to be subservient and children were expected to be “seen and not heard.” In reality, some men were dictators who were not so benevolent and wives and children were easy targets for abuse. If a wife was abused, most people would assume she had done something wrong, and that she somehow deserved it. For the wife who HAD to escape, she wouldn’t usually have a lot of options to support herself. Overlaid on top of all this was a hypocritical whitewash as everyone pretended to be happy and that there were no serious problems. But the façade of “Leave It To Beaver” was never anything more than a flimsy fiction. Who believed that crap even when it was new?

This is not just a description of American society from a bygone era, and the traditional nuclear family from those days (which the COGs still advocate today as the model nuclear family, whitewash and all), but also the culture of the Radio Church of God, a.k.a. Worldwide Church of God. (The hundreds of splinters are all daughters with a strong family resemblance.) This stands to reason, too. It was the culture in which HWA was born and raised, it is the culture in which the church originally formed, and there is a biblical interpretation to back it up. What else would you expect? But while they claim they got these values directly from the bible, they didn’t. They got them from “the world.” The proof is that they also incorporated the dark side, wholesale.

From a church culture standpoint, the ministry are the “husbands,” the children are the children (obviously), and everyone else is the “housewife.” As the “housewife” the members are basically the minister’s bitch. This is why ministers demand an inordinate amount of unearned respect from members. This is why they expect subservience and paternalistically look down on them all as glorified children. Many of them in the past have presumed to tell the membership that their only access to God is through them, thus preaching a doctrine of dependence. And all the while, they have the nerve to call themselves servants. They are merely setting themselves up as the dated father figures from yesteryear, complete with the paternalistic mysogeny. The membership has aided and abetted them by buying into the model and playing their assigned role. The liberating thing from this understanding comes from recognizing what everyone is really doing and realizing that you have a choice.

To pretend this is some kind of righteousness makes my stomach turn. They would have you believe that they are modeling the “coming government of God” here on earth and thus preparing everyone to play a role in the real thing when it arrives. BARF! That is not what is going on at all. In truth, “ministers” are just a collection of Willy Lomans: sad sack salesmen with a dwindling client base who are attempting to repackage something used as though it is new, and then selling it for more than it’s worth.

If you’re buying what they’re selling, then I suppose it’s also easy to believe this is all “godly” and “biblical” too. But all of it is “worldly” albeit a pre-1960’s world, to which it is possible, if you are foolhardy enough, to attach a certain amount of nostalgia. There are some places where this model does agree with biblical principles, but this is accidental, because the model was taken from a Christian society, not because HWA got any of it from the bible.

One of the problems with the culture is that the cultural values are more important than the biblical ones. If you violate all the commandments in the bible, you’re just a sinner, like us all. But if you violate cultural values, you are promptly disfellowshipped as though you had committed the unpardonable sin. Obviously I suppose you have, though not in a biblical sense. Which begs the question, what are these churches teaching? Are they teaching people not to sin, or are they teaching the opposite? Or perhaps COGs are just societies dedicated to a particular brand of nostalgia? Or maybe it’s just whatever keeps the money coming in. However you look at it, the bottom line is, you can sin all you want, just so long as you keep the cultural commandments.

In the mean time, American society has marched on. There have been vast changes to the prevailing societal values, expectations, and norms, and I would agree, not all for the better. But Armstrongism has stayed anachronistically fixed in the past, like a cultural time capsule, as though the hypocritical society of middle America 100 years ago were somehow the pinnacle of godliness. It wasn’t then, and it isn’t now.

Just as surely as so many COGs want to recreate WCG in its heyday, if it were up to them, I suppose they would also take the whole world back to recreate Victorian era America. That’s what they’re expecting the millennium to be like, I guess, where God comes back to Earth and forces nostalgic American values upon the whole world? If I were given a choice between that and the lake of fire, I think I’d rather take the hot bath. Who in their right mind would want to live inside of an eternal “Leave It To Beaver” marathon?

That makes me curious, besides Sabbath vs. Sunday and holy days vs. holidays, what else did Herbert Armstrong have to rail against in 1934, when the cultural values of the church were identical to the cultural values of America? Perhaps a better question is what a Quaker preacher would have had to rail about, seeing they don’t even have the difference of Sabbath and holy days like the COGs do? Oh, nevermind, the Friends Church, like the Amish, are probably dedicated to preserving and recreating the culture of the 1600’s! Get thee hence!

As time continues to march on, society will continue to change, and, like the Amish, the COGs will also continue to get further and further out of step with the world around them. They will seem more and more odd, their solutions will seem more and more out of touch, and their client base will continue to dwindle. Meanwhile, they will continue to bicker and argue and divide. Soon, the last embers of Armstrongism will blink out and grow cold. Amen.

Andrew

The F Word

The Epic Fail Pastors Conference

You have to wonder looking at this site what would have happened if the Worldwide Church of God had been courageously humble and had held conferences like this for the ministry instead of the heavy handed "edicts from above" conferences the Church was known for.   What if our ministers had had a chance to get together and share stories of failures, heartache, disillusionment, anger and frustration?  Done in a safe environment where when it was over, no heavy hand would come raining down from above with vile punishments.  Where would we be today if such courageous things had happened?  Would we have 650 some splinter groups roaming the earth today?

You have to admit that there was no support for the ministry in the WCG.  We know this because there was no support for the members! Counseling and therapy was frowned upon as tools of Satan. Admitting failure was a sign of weakness and all men in Armstrongism were to be hyper-masculine and strong.  Can you imagine Rod Meredith, Dave Pack, Gerald Flurry, David Hulme, et al., ever doing such a thing?


 

You might be wondering: Should I participate in an event like this?

Yes. Yes, you should.

We are convinced this is significant enough that - regardless of your position, role, track record, past experience (or lack thereof), failures, wounds, gaffes, hurts, hiccups and screw-ups - you belong at a space like this. We have kept the price low ($89) because we know that ‘Super Pastors' don't always have a lot of money or resources or budgets to come to something like this.

We are dreaming of a place that is unique from other events. It's a risk, we know, but it is one we believe is worth taking (So what if it is an epic failure?). We long to have purposeful spaces to listen & share stories, not of our successes, but of our failures. Seeking to understand how God works through the failures. We'll be having our ‘experts on failure' share their stories and God's faithfulness.

In our time together:
We'll share stories.
We'll reflect and process.
We'll have space to just be.
We'll connect with other pastors and leaders who are experiencing the ache that we feel in ministry.
We'll pray. A lot.
We'll laugh (and probably cry).
And we'll take communion together - celebrating the work of Christ and how He is enough for us. Even failures like us.

We're not promising everything will be perfect or that you'll be impressed or blown away. We're not after that. We want to create a space where you can experience something deep within you that can't possibly happen simply by mere external circumstances.

To be honest, we're not exactly sure what will result from our time together - and we're okay with that. The last thing we want to do is over-program such a sacred space. We will facilitate a space where the Spirit can speak to us, affirm us, remind us of His no-strings-attached love - then we will get out of the way.  We anticipate that God may stir something in us - to begin to talk about our identity, our temptations to be important and powerful and charismatic and significant and notices and praised.

We anticipate it will be messy.
We're convinced that while nobody is talking about this stuff, somebody needs to.
Why not us?
Why not here?
Why not now?

 The Idea

The idea for this conference came from two sources: A blog post from J.R. Briggs, a pastor at Renew Community in Lansdale, Pa and the wildly popular site www.epicfail.com.
A few dangerous questions were asked:

• What if we offered a space that is gutsy, hopeful, courageously vulnerable for pastors to let go of the burden to be a Super Pastor?

• What if we could hold an event that was free from the thrills and frills of other pastors conferences?

• What if we came together as epic failures and sought not successful models or how-do's but instead celebrated faithfulness in ministry because of the reality of Jesus?

•What if we were reminded that we're not responsible for being ‘successful' in ministry, but we are responsible for being faithful to the calling that God has laid out for us - regardless of the outcome?

•What if we had a conference that was led not by famous pastors who are household names, but by scandalously ordinary ministers and leaders who are faithfully attempting to join with God - even in the midst of glaring obscurity and anonymity?


That post attracted more hits than any other post that J.R. had written in seven years. People from all over the world began contacting J.R. through the blog, email, phone and text messages saying, ‘I'm in! Where do I sign up?” We knew we had struck a nerve. We were on to something significant.
This excited us and freaked us out.

One can only dream of what could have been.

LCG Makes An Astounding Discovery: The Universe Is Full of Planets!!! Shocking, I Know!!!!!!

One of the banner headlines on their weekly email summery of LCG prophecy news was this headline:

The universe is full of planets!
For thousands of years, mankind has known the universe is full of stars. When the Hubble space-telescope was launched in 1990, scientists began to number the stars in our Milky Way galaxy alone at more than 100 billion. But the assumption, based on Hubble data, was that there were very few planets outside our own solar system. Now, NASA's new and more powerful Kepler space-telescope is sending back evidence of planets outside our solar system--thousands of them. Based on the newly arriving data, scientists now think that the galaxy has "at least" one planet per star and likely more. This means hundreds of billions of planets! One Harvard University astronomer commented, "We're awash in planets where 17 years ago we weren't even sure there were planets outside our solar system." An astronomer from San Diego State University wrote, "Nature must like to form planets because it's forming them in places that are kind of difficult to do." 

As Homer says:

Reading the above I bet you can guess where the story is headed.  That's right, you will be ruling over the worlds and planets!

Meredith goes on to write:

Then, on the night just before His death, Jesus promised the Apostles: "And I bestow upon you a kingdom, just as My Father bestowed one upon Me, that you may eat and drink at My table in My kingdom, and sit on thrones judging the twelve tribes of Israel" (Luke 22:29–30). If we believe that Jesus meant what He said, then we know that the Son of God specifically promised that "overcoming" Christians will join Him at His Second Coming in ruling over the cities and nations on this earth!

Notice these direct statements by Jesus, the Christ, as recorded in the book of Revelation: "And he who overcomes, and keeps My works until the end, to him I will give power over the nations— 'He shall rule them with a rod of iron; as the potter's vessels shall be broken to pieces'—as I also have received from My Father" (Revelation 2:26–27). "To him who overcomes I will grant to sit with Me on My throne, as I also overcame and sat down with My Father on His throne" (Revelation 3:21). Then note the prayer of the saints as recorded in Revelation 5:10, "[You] have made us kings and priests to our God; and we shall reign on the earth."

As usual the part that stands out for Meredith and a lot of Armstrongites is this, "...shall RULE them with a rod of iron.  Armstrongism has taken great pleasure in stating that church members would be rulers over vast worlds and galaxies where they would rule with rods of iron.  It's like they are giddy with delight at the prospect of beating people into submission.  All I can say is that having seen many of these people in action and seen how their own lives are horrible messes, there is no way in hell I would want to live in a world they were ruling over!  I don't know which would be worse, being thrown in the lake of fire or suffering a thousands years under the heavy brutish hands of ruling Armstrongites!