Idiot's In The Pulpit: Whining About Wine

I guess a huge stack of Bibles next to you makes you an authority on scripture.  All that is missing is a Strong's Concordance and a COG minister sitting at the desk.

We had a couple of "ministers" walk out on stage in Pasadena every time they spoke with a huge stack of books under their arm.  I guess they thought we were supposed to be in awe of their speaking and intelligence.  Trouble was, they were just as  theologically stupid as this minister who is attempting to talk about grape juice and wine.

Oh Me of Little Faith?

Oh Me of Little Faith?

I believe we all know the following teachings and scriptures by heart as former members of  the WCG and perhaps current members of a splinter COG.  We were all quite good at knowing what the Bible said.

I have selected some basic teachings of Jesus that ALWAYS puzzled me personally.  I did not find them to ever be remotely true and if they could be true for the Christian, it may actually prove a disaster in their real life to get things so easily and freely.  However, not to worry.  I never knew this to be the case or I think i would have noticed.

Here we go....

 1)  And Jesus answered and said to them, "Truly I say to you, if you have faith and do not doubt, you will not only do what was done to the fig tree, but even if you say to this mountain, `Be taken up and cast into the sea,' it will happen.  "And all things you ask in prayer, believing, you will receive."  (Matthew 21:21-22 NAS) 

    2)  Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.  For everyone who asks, receives; and the one who seeks, finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened.  (Matthew 7:7-8 NAB)

    3)  Again I say to you, that if two of you agree on earth about anything that they may ask, it shall be done for them by My Father who is in heaven.  For where two or three have gathered together in My name, I am there in their midst.  (Matthew 18:19-20 NAS)

    4)  Amen, I say to you, whoever says to this mountain, 'Be lifted up and thrown into the sea,' and does not doubt in his heart but believes that what he says will happen, it shall be done for him.  Therefore I tell you, all that you ask for in prayer, believe that you will receive it and it shall be yours.  (Mark 11:24-25 NAB)

    5)  And I tell you, ask and you will receive; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.  For everyone who asks, receives; and the one who seeks, finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened.  (Luke 11:9-13 NAB)

    6)  And whatever you ask in my name, I will do, so that the Father may be glorified in the Son.  If you ask anything of me in my name, I will do it.  (John 14:13-14 NAB)

    7)  If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask for whatever you want and it will be done for you.  (John 15:7 NAB)

    8)  It was not you who chose me, but I who chose you and appointed you to go and bear fruit that will remain, so that whatever you ask the Father in my name he may give you.  (John 15:16 NAB)

    9)  On that day you will not question me about anything.  Amen, amen, I say to you, whatever you ask the Father in my name he will give you.  Until now you have not asked anything in my name; ask and you will receive, so that your joy may be complete.  (John 16:23-24 NAB)

Now i realize there are apologetics for the times that none of this comes to pass or that when we ask, nothing comes of it.  I have asked thousands of time for many small considerations and some large ones in my own life and the lives of others but did not get answers like these promise.  Why not I wondered?

Well:

A.  I asked amiss.   It was an ok request but somewhere along the line I had a wrong way of asking or perhaps a wrong reason why I asked, unknown to me of course, thus...no answer.

B. "My ways are not your ways..."  saith the Eternal   Well....ok,

C.  I got an answer....doi.....it was "NO!"

D.  Not now....but eventually, down the road, over the hill, around the corner, in the Kingdom....

E.  "There is an answer that seems right to you Dennis....but....no banana."

F.  Those teachings mean something else that I have never figured out but they are 100% accurate. 

etc......

The fact is, either Jesus was speaking way deep and really didn't mean it the way it comes across, or he stretched the truth or worse about his ability or who he was and what he had to offer the faithful. I always figured I had NO faith because i could not move a pebble with it, much less a mountain.  Sometimes I think when you say dumb stuff, as long it was a really really long time ago, it seems deep and spiritual.  If someone said it to me from the pulpit today, it would seem goofy and a sign of real trouble in the pastor.  

Another problem is that getting everything you want can be one's worse nightmare.  What a church that would be!  Forget about Faith!.   The world's resources would have been gone 1500 years ago... and everyone would be in charge flying Gulfstream XII 's doing the work.  (I'd ask for a degree in Paleontology:)

These scriptures and reputed teachings of Jesus have been the cause of more suffering in the lives of the sincere believer than they are worth.  Life does not work this way. It should NOT work this way anyway!  From "Save my child!" to "Please heal me...!"   asking "whatever" neither works nor builds faith when nothing comes back.  The person then believes they are defective, asking wrongly, selfish, unworthy, not a real Christian, faithless and so on and this is not helpful in our journey as a human being.  

Did Jesus lie?  Exaggerate?  Think he had to be this full of faith?  Mean something else?  Ever really say this?   I dunno.  I just don't find it credible, real or true in my own experience so I don't expect anything anymore and don't ask.  

Some of what Jesus taught can be taken to border on the insane.  It seems his family in Mark thought so too.  Frankly, I always found it rather chilling to read..."I am the way, the truth and the light....NO MAN comes unto the Father but by ME."  It makes me nervous.  But this is for another time perhaps.  

Dennis C. Diehl

DenniscDiehl@aol.com

Dennis Asks: "Is Romans 13 Good Teaching and Advice?"

Romans 13:1 Those in positions of authority have been placed there by God

Is Romans 13 Good Teaching and Advice?

The readers of this blog are probably some of the most Biblically literate layman on the planet.  One of the things I got from both my Calvinistic and WCG experience was knowing WHAT the Bible said.  It is why I credit most ministers with at least being good Bible readers, which of course is not to be mistaken for Bible literacy. 

Rather than take the "splatter pattern" approach to why teachings of Jesus or Paul might be considered suspect and ill advised, I would rather take them one at a time and expand each of those that , to me, are susceptible to criticism and rejection. 

First of all let me say that many of the teachings of both Jesus and Paul are excellent and make a real life more meaningful when applied.  We also need to realize that these teachings are not unique to Jesus or Paul.  The Sermon on the Mount is full of common sense teachings that anyone in just about any religion could and did already teach.  They are not unique or especially amazing teachings.  Many teachings of Jesus parallel Buddhism and those of Paul are just nice things to keep in mind.  

Another thing to keep in mind when we come across those difficult things to do or give up scriptures are given in the context of the FIRM belief by Jesus and Paul and the early Church that time really was short. Really short.  Turning the other cheek or giving up ones cloak was in the context of time is really short so don't worry about it.  You will be avenged and clothed very soon.  Practices such as sharing all things in common were based on the short plan that Jesus was about to return so let's stick together.  It was NEVER meant to be a prolonged way of being.  In time, when Jesus did not materialize, the system broke down and it was abandoned.  Not exactly eternal truth.

Paul's advice about marriage was based on "time is short."  It is not really a long term good thing for anyone's mental health to be alone , without someone to love and be loved by.  Paul, having never met Jesus and never quoting him did not know that Jesus taught the opposite of himself.  It is not better to be like Paul according to Jesus, or any psychologist.

Also and evidently, Jesus own mom and brothers, the ones who in Mark had never heard of his miraculous Matthew and Luke birth story, came to get Jesus when they heard what he was teaching to take him home, because he was "beside himself."  This is code for "nuts" or "insane."  

Mark 3:20-21

New International Version (NIV)

 ²⁰ Then Jesus entered a house, and again a crowd gathered, so that he and his disciples were not even able to eat. ²¹ When his family^[a] heard about this, they went to take charge of him, for they said, “He is out of his mind.”

There is no Mary, "who pondered these things in her heart," in Mark's account of Jesus.  There is no Mary that knows from his birth, that Jesus is the Son of God to become God himself eventually through the process of theological evolution. 


Evidently the family, in Mark's view, did not find Jesus teachings all that amusing and if it kept up, they might get blamed for not reigning him in.  So they tried.  

At any rate, let's take a look at Paul's teaching on obedience to government, i.e. the Romans at this time in history.  

We need to ask ourselves how, if this advice was obeyed through history, if we'd have had an American Revolution or been able to bring about real change in the governments of insane leaders gone nuts.  In this chapter, Paul is telling the Church members to obey the Romans.  My sense is that Paul knew you could rant, curse and rave against the Jews but it was really stupid to do so against the Romans.  The Jews might get pissed off, but they are branches cut from God's tree.  The Romans, on the other hand, can kill you/us.   

Romans 13  New International Version (NIV)

Submission to Governing Authorities

 

 

 ¹ Let everyone be subject to the governing authorities, for there is no authority except that which God has established. The authorities that exist have been established by God.

Really? Caligula?  Hitler? Stalin?  Mao?  Sadaam? Ghadaffi? Netanyahu? Clinton? Bush? Obama?  Really?  What of the millions who have died under their God given authority?  Is this not the advice from Paul, the "all things to all men, " kiss up to the Romans, so that he might save his own hide at times?  

Paul pulled his 'I am a Roman Citizen" card out from time to time to save himself.  How does a Pharisee of the Pharisees , who hate the Romans become a Roman Citizen exactly?  Is this good advice for the long haul?  I don't think so?  We'd all be in gulags and internment camps before long with this attitude.  Would not any corrupt government LOVE to have this taught religiously to the masses?  Was Paul being realistic here?  Why would the Book of Revelation be relevant if this advice was followed?  Obey the Beast and False Prophet and all will be well.  After all, they have their authority from God.   

 ² Consequently, whoever rebels against the authority is rebelling against what God has instituted, and those who do so will bring judgment on themselves

Really? God is the author and originator of these worldly regimes?  I thought Satan was the God of this World? Another great piece of advice to benefit any corrupt regime that needed to be ousted.  I wonder if ministers preached this in the pulpits of England and America in the 1760's??  If God is really behind human governments, is this some kind of cosmic joke on the faithful?  Seems terrible advice to me. .

 ³ For rulers hold no terror for those who do right, but for those who do wrong. 

Har har!!  Oh Really!!!  May I suggest there be no drinking the next time someone thinks to give this kind of advice or evaluate the fruits of human government!   There are lots of dead Palestinian Children in and around Gaza who might disagree with this erudite observation on the motives of rulers.  One may as well say, "For rulers hold no terror for those who do not get in their way or oppose their plans...but those who do...watch out."  I think it means "For rulers hold no terror to those who do what they are told..."   The rightness or wrongness is not really up for discussion. 

 Am I on Candid Camera?  Sounds like advice right out of the WCG Handbook on How to Intimidate the Brethren!  The Flurry's, Pack's, Weinland's and Meredith's of this Wild World Church of God experience would love that one!  Most politicians would kill to see this be your attitude.  And don't expect to get commended for anything.  No one is going to give you a medal in this life for doing "the right thing."

 ⁴ For the one in authority is God’s servant for your good. But if you do wrong, be afraid, for rulers do not bear the sword for no reason. They are God’s servants, agents of wrath to bring punishment on the wrongdoer.

Yikes, If you make it to the top, you are automatically there because God voted for you and you won.  And government as humans have experienced it is here for nothing but our own good.   Who writes this stuff...the Government?  So anything the Government does to wield the sword, mace, tazers, microwavers, crowd control, tear gas, outright shooting and gassing is really God giving it to us all good, via his trusted servants and agents?  Goodbye American Revolution. Our bad!!! 

⁵ Therefore, it is necessary to submit to the authorities, not only because of possible punishment but also as a matter of conscience.

Right, if I disobey an illegal, immoral or tyrannical government, it will hurt my conscience.  I don't think so.  

 ⁶ This is also why you pay taxes, for the authorities are God’s servants, who give their full time to governing.

"...he said as he took his 20th vacation at the seaside and played 200 rounds of whatever game was popular in their time.  I pay taxes to finance war and killing.  I pay taxes so others can pay off their friends on Wall Street and cover their asses for stealing my other taxes, homes and properties.  In my world, these jerks are not God's servants but rather work for the other guy in the Bible who is more the roaring lion type.  Shoot...if Satan is a leader of his own gang, God must have put him there for their good!  Obey him boys!!  

"...who give their full time to governing...."  Uh huh, sure , right , fine...

⁷ Give to everyone what you owe them: If you owe taxes, pay taxes; if revenue, then revenue; if respect, then respect; if honor, then honor.

Notice we are not talking to the receivers here, but rather the givers.  I always wanted to scream when HWA chanted, "God's way of life is the way of giiiiiivvve."  Uh huh, so we gave and they took.  The receivers of our giving only think they are givers but it is easy to give away someone else's money.  HWA built "God's College," "God's House,"  "God's work,"  with our money not his.  That was easy and painless for the receivers.  My parents and thousands of others bought Steuben Crystal for world leaders and rented auditoriums for the snakes in government to fill with the unwilling citizens to make these meetings look successful.  My parents and others paid for "The Church" to preach to world leaders...God's chosen leaders evidently who were mostly jerks and bastards.  

How about we turn this one around and say,  "Give to everyone what you took from them.  You who have taken, how about you give it back?  I digress.

So, Is Romans 13 here good advice for realistic living on this planet at anytime in human history.  Or is this the idea of one man who bragged about being "all things to all men,"  not that he might save them, but in fact, did not get his head taken off quite yet by them because they had the power anyway and we need not stir them up.  

Why would Paul give this advice about gentile leaders in government and yet scorn Peter, James and John's leadership in the Jewish Church. If anything was of God it was that?  Why did Paul curse those who didn't agree with him or his Gospel?  He was not much of a team player himself it seems when it comes to following the lead of others that God seems to have put in high places.  Paul totally disregarded the commands of James in Acts 15, in reality,  but  I guess he was special and that was different.   

Personally, I think the author of Romans was writing for the Roman Government to see he and his teachings were harmless and no threat to them. To do otherwise would have been suicide and, while you can make fun of the weak who cannot harm you, you had better be on good terms with those that can kill you. 

Dennis C. Diehl

DenniscDiehl@aol.com

COGWA Has A New Top Dog

No real shocker here.  Same old, same old.  How long witll it take before he is conspiring behind the backs of the rest of the leadership in this splinter cult?  He did a great job of backstabbing while in WCG and UCG as he helped form two separate COG's.

 President: Jim Franks

Secretary: David Johnson

Treasurer: Jason Lovelady

"Guardians of the Calendar Committee" Job Opening In Petra

Apostle Malm  may have a job opening for you worthy saints. Those lucky enough to be counted worthy to travel to Petra with the Apostle can start applying for a new job opening.

Because there is such a controversy on who gets to see the "new moon" and as to what time it actually appears - if it even does, the Apostle will be setting up a moon gazing committee.  Imagine the amazement you will feel standing in the middle or Petra gazing at the dark sky and you see that first glimmer of the new moon!

Of course, while you are parked INSIDE the great expanse of Petra, the Apostle will be outside in the Marriott in a cozy bed with an ample supply of liquor in the refrigerator.

Drop the Apostle a line and let him you know you want to be on his committee: Email Address

I would expect that God’s two prophets may be trusted to deal with the matter in the rest of the world while those in the wilderness would be united in location and some kind of system of observation would be set up there. I thinkl that a kind of Guardians of the Caendar Committee should be set up of people with some understanding of astronomy and the Calendar issues and a reglular method of observing each month should be doen. I am sure that something will be worked out. The main heavenly disturbances are not so much of the sun and moon but of a comet and or meteor falling to the earth and that only late into the 42 months. The moon turning red has to do with atmospheric smoke and dust due to the cataclysms on the earth rather than anything in the heavens. James