Apostle Malm: 70% Chance Tribulation Will Start By End of 2012

Apostle Malm is bloviating today about his important track record of confirmed prophecies.  He is predicting that war is eminent in the middle east within the total defeat of the Muslim nations.  When that occurs then there is a 70% chance that the tribulation will start late 2012.  Of course the Pope is added to the mix too.  If the present one dies the chances increase, then if the new pope starts performing miracles then it increases even more to 100%.

If this war concludes with the defeat of Radical Islam, the chances that the tribulation will begin at the end of this year will be about 70%.   If this pope dies the chances will increase to 80%.  If a new Pope begins to do miracles,  assists to set up a New Europe and is scheduled to visit Jerusalem: The chances that the tribulation will begin within 75 days of his selection as pope and setting up in Rome; and during the period of his visit to Jerusalem will be 100%.

The Apostle though is having problems with too much unbelief in his acolytes.  He claims to have over a thousand people - including elders-waiting to see if his prophecies come to pass before they jump ship into his cult.

Right now I know that there are hundreds of people [over a thousand]  including elders who are thinking:  I agree with a lot he says on doctrine and the problems, but I have a problem with his prophecy.   His positions are completely new and are the exact opposite of what we have believed.   They are waiting to see the fruits of my effort, whether it is of God or not.  That is  a good and proper thing and I commend them!

Apostle Malm is just one more in a long line of liars that have spread their propaganda to scared and deceived chruch members that are looking to save their asses by any means possible. It's all about what more extra things can we do. Observing new moons, women and men wearing hats in worship, not having fun on Saturdays, and other irrelevant things have absolute no influence in ones salvation.

UCG Reject Larry McElroy: "We had been wandering in a toxic spiritual wilderness full of deadly vipers for five years."

United Church of God reject, Larry McElroy gives another spiel about having his eyes "anointed" so that he could see clearly that God was only working with Davie Pack.  Apostate McElroy abandoned his responsibilities in UCG in 1999 and then went splinter surfing for several years till he visited the worlds largest and most miraculous ministry that God had ever placed on earth. 

McElroy writes:

Upon leaving UCG (after four years there), we sought out, bumped into, observed, visited, and in some cases tried to participate in a wide variety of groups in our quest to find where God was working. We could categorize the groups in the following manner:

• Fellowships—loosely organized groups in which there were continual doctrinal conflicts and friction
• Prophecy groups—false prophetic nonsense was their main focus
• “One-issue” groups—such as calendar and sacred names groups
• Intellectual groups—leaders who didn’t want to serve people, but had a following
• Internet ministries—800 number call-ins for Sabbath services
• Groups playing Mr. Armstrong’s tapes—living in the past and doing nothing to give others the Truth today
• Isolation groups—taught members to leave the big city, strive to make themselves ready by living together, and not worry about warning the world

It's interesting that not one of then would have him.  He was looking for a place that would let him minister and they would not.

He then leaves all the splinter surfing behind and starts holding own home church.  He writes:

In 2004, we were on our own, meeting in our home with our family and several friends. Again, we asked, “Where is the Work of God?” Was the Work destined to just die out? The “churches of God” were contaminated, bickering, tepid, a confused consortium of individuals thinking they were “just fine” (Rev. 3:17)! Each group believing they were the answer! Blindness caused so many to depart from the “old paths” (Jer. 18:15).

Is McElroy too blind to see that he has just described the Restored Church of God? Only I would call it a cesspool.


Then low and behold, a message from God caused McElroy to see and ad for Davie's group.  He sent off for a reprogramming packaged of Davie's books.  Then a month and half later his eyes were anointed and he could see clearly.  Then he set up an appointment to go and visit the headquarters of Davie's group.  From meetings with King Davie and with back slapping Department heads, he went to members homes (hand selected so that no crazy RCG's members could influence McElroy into taking his money elsewhere).  It was one big lovey-dovey love fest.  Smiles and hugs all around.  Even the Care Bears could not get this sentimental.

He concludes his love fest with this:

Back to the beginning: Truth is the rarest and most important commodity on Earth, and it is few that find it. How far will we go to qualify for eternal life? How much effort will we exert to obtain salvation? How much will we give up to serve those who need a powerful message of hope in these desperate times?

Truth cannot be found in Packism, that is a plain and simple fact!  You cannot qualify for salvation.  All the law keeping and government following will never lead anyone to salvation.

Then he concludes with a final sentence that explains what Davie is doing with his posting by these apostate ministers.  He is wanting them to all come to his cult.  The more ministers that come to him, the more people he thinks will be drawn over with them.  More people equals more money.

His entire ad little letter is here:  A Most Important Trip

COGS2TR Has Designed a New National Flag

There is now a new flag for the United States. It has been designed by as Church of God member.  That alone should make you say, "Oh, give me a break!"  Our intrepid loony tune at the Church of God Speaking to the Remnant splinter cult has done just that.

All of you back sliding Laeodiceans now have something to unite you into a dynamic cause. Take a look at your new flag:

Just think how proud you will feel flying this from your front porch!  Especially if you live in parts of Detroit.

LCG Pastor: Valentines Day: A Day For Beating Women With Animal Skins

The fun never ceases in Living Church of God. If you bought a Valentines Day card for your sweetheart you were taking part in a ritual that allows for beating of women with bloody animal flesh.  That ranks right up there with the other favorite of Meredithism - red ornaments on Christmas trees are bull's testicles. I have to say I have seen more "yucky" things at Armstrongite Feast of Tabernacles sites than I ever have on Valentines day.

What is with Meredithism that is is so focused on blood, guts and gore?  They have went from beating women with animal skins to Meredith advocating spanking them.  So what is really the difference here?

Whatever.

The origins of Valentine’s Day are very clearly pagan and pre-Christian. Research into the details of where it came from can take you all sorts of places (some very yucky places, frankly), but standing out among them is Lupercalia, a pagan fertility ritual celebrated in February that involved, among other things, animal sacrifices (goats and dogs, apparently) and whipping women with strips made from the animals’ bloody flesh. Yes, I wish I was kidding.

If you want to just dip your toes a wee bit into the origins of Valentine’s Day, the History channel website is making it easy, with an interactive graphic (I’m not sure why a graphic that doesn’t do anything but sit there is called “interactive,” but there you go) and a video that shows a painting (apparently by Jon Foster) of a fellow looking delightfully popish presiding over a sacrifice-the-critter-and-hit-the-ladies-with-carcass-straps ceremony. (Full disclosure: The History channel video also shows old “classic” paintings with naked people. What is it with “classic” artists and naked people?)

So, no pagan, hit-your-woman-with-bloody-animal-parts, Lupercalia-warmed-over, Jeremiah 10:2 (et al.)-violating Valentine’s Day for me, thanks!

Valentine’s Day: A day for beating women with bloody animal skins? 

Wallace Smith

One thing I do have to hand to Wallace Smith is that he allows comments on his blog and he actually carries on a half way decent conversations with those that disagree with him, which is NOT something that would happen with Prophet Robert Thiel.