Saturday, May 18, 2013

Dave Pack Spends $25,000 On Steuben Crystal Because He Is God's Most Awesome Man




Did Davey just spend $25,000.00 in tithe money for his own piece of Steuben crystal for his new mahogany desk?  Poor thing!  I guess Herbert Armstrong never saw fit to give Dave, his most loyal man ever, a price of Steuben as a Thank-you.  Like almost all things regarding Dave's track record in the ministry it's all made up.  Dave will never be an HWA and will NEVER lead a large work.

Dave apparently was/is sooooooooo desperate to get an exact copy of HWA's Steuben that he has searched high and low for a piece.  He has not been able to score an original piece so he had to get his own and pretend it was like HWA's.  Of course he did not spend his own money but conned a member to dish out $25,000 for it.





11 comments:

Anonymous said...

HWA to King:

"Do ya like it? Do ya like it? I didn't pay a dime for it. It came from people who don't know you and think you have too much already and are more concerned with groceries. Did I do good? Huh King, did I do good?"

King:

"Well, it's nice, I have three of these but thanks..."

Anonymous said...

"It's nice, but this is the same thing you brought me last time..."

Anonymous said...

HWA

"Oh sorry, well they had a few flawed ones I grabbed out of the barrel in Corning. I guess I forgot who I gave it too."

Anonymous said...

Remember King, everyone that has never had a meeting with me has died. So please put this in your will so I can give it to Dave Pack, my most highly favored right hand man.

Douglas Becker said...

He's not supposed to keep it, he's supposed to give it to some important leader for a photo op to prove that he can meet some important leader.

Joe Moeller said...

Remember the old Twilight Zone episode that stars a young Billy Mumy as Anthony, with scary powers, where he can turn people into the "corn field" or into a "jack in the box"? The episode was called "Its a Good Life".

Now a modern day do over, for the new "Its A Good Life" Twilight Zone episode starring DAVE PACK as Anthony. Joe Moeller narrating the closing sequence...

Dave Pack has extraordinary powers to control the little town where he lives by simply wishing away people and things that anger or bore him.

He has isolated the church by banishing truth and thinking. Other than his powerful wishing, Dave has the mind and imagination of a typical little boy. He amuses himself with his special ability by giving the church three heads and then wishing them dead when the game becomes boring.

The people in Wadsworth have to smile all the time, think happy thoughts, and say happy things, because that's what Dave commands and, if they disobey, he can wish them into a cornfield or change them into grotesque versions of themselves.

Dave dislikes happiness and joy and punished Aunt Amy for thoughtlessly singing in his presence. Dave asks why no other brethren come to play with him. Mr. Fremont reminds Dave that when the Venish boy came over, Dave had wished the boy away into the cornfield after they'd finished playing. He wished a dog into the cornfield for barking.

Dave's friends have invited several people to their house for a surprise birthday party for one of their friends, Dan Hollis. Dave makes everyone watch what he, like lots of other little boys, wishes to see on television -- himself , Dave Pack, speaking and pontificating .

Dan Hollis's wife gives him a record for his birthday, but Dave won't permit him to play it. Dan grumbles angrily and then begins singing "Happy Birthday." Dave tries to intimidate Dan by staring at him. Dan suggests that Dave should be distracted and then whacked on the head, but nobody moves to help Dan. Dave, points his finger at Dan and screams "You're a bad man! You're a very bad man!" and turns Dan into a jack-in-the-box and then sends him to the cornfield.

Everyone turns away in horror except Dale Schurter who begs Dave to wish Dan into the cornfield. Dave complies. A few minutes later, Dave wishes for the tribulation though this will kill half the crops, not to mention those he's banished to the cornfield. The adults smile nervously and tell him that he's a good boy, hoping that Dave's terrible power won't be turned upon themselves.

(Joe Moeller in his best Rod Serling voice):

No comment here, No comment at all. We only wanted to introduce you to a special citizen of a little town named Wadsworth , Ohio named Dave.

And if you should by chance come across him , you better only think nice thoughts. Anything less than that is handled at your own risk, for if you do, you will find yourself in great peril and you can be sure that you have entered ...

THE TWILIGHT ZONE!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ETfzfy0jy74

Joe Moeller
Cody, WY

Byker Bob said...

There is probably not another physical thing in HWA circles that received more undue attention and reverence than Steuben Crystal.

Anyone got a nice sledgehammer? Let's also pile in a mess of that godawful classical music, and cases of Dom Perignon. That'd be the WCG equivalent of smashing idols. Come to think of it, we ought to start a discussion on the things that make us all so sick that we'd like to smash.

BB

Anonymous said...

He must have bought it on Ebay because Steuben has been out business since Nov. 2011.

Anonymous said...

Nice try Dave, but with only a $25,000 piece of Steuben you don't even BEGIN to approach how much the preachers on Christian TV (like Daystar and TBN) rip off their flocks to buy fancy stuff for themselves.

Noah Dibble said...

Who was the last man born out of the first born who are enrolled in heaven and who was the first man 2 make a binding Covenant with the Lord the first will be last and the last will be first the generations of the first born consisting of 10 people are going backwards from last to First in these last days the last man born out of the 10 men will be the first man born and instead of being the first man to make a covenant or Mary the Lord will now be the last man to make a covenant with the Lord hence the first will be last and the last will be first here is a hint the man I am speaking of built the first temple he needs last days the last man born out of the 10 man will be the first man born and instead of beans the first man to make a cousin it or mary the lord will now be the last man to make hey covenant with the lord hence the first will be last
Here is a hint the man who was of the first born those Ten Men who are enrolled in heaven constructed the first temple or example of Gods Church although this is a hidden truth unknown by most the first church floated on water consisting of three levels and a window on the top following or initiating rather the format that the Ark of the Covenant with its three shelves and the temples that followed wood adhered to the man who was up the first born those 10 min lauren rolled in heaven constructed the first temple or example of gods church aldo this is a hidden truth unknown 5 most the first church float it on water consist enough 3 levels and a window on the top following or any she 18 rather the format that the ark of the covenant with its 3 shelves and the temples that followed would bad here too here is 1 more Colonel of hidden truth did you know that Bathsheba brought Solomon 666 gold shekels as an offering to Solomon the number of a man and a beast did you know that Solomon was given a perfect mind and Lucifer is referred to as the CEO of perfection did you know that 1/3 of Solomon's Mighty Men Ravel and followed Solomon just like a third of the Kingdom that rebelled or the angels now keep in mind the Bible says angels are greater in power and it might and when the Bible is referring to a Mighty Man it is referring to an angel wrapped in human flesh 2 Hidden Truths AR Solomon is the devil and angels AR the profits and apostles holy men that never died or Mighty Men did you know that that sheba brought solomon 666 gold shackles as an offering to solomon the number of a man and the beast did you know that solomon was given a perfect mind and lucifer is referred to I have the c_e_o of perfection did you know that 830 of solomons my demand roosevelt and followed solomon just like of third of the kingdom that rebels or the angels now keep in mind the bible says angels are grader in power and mike and when the bible is referring to hey mighty man it is referring to an angel wrapped in human flesh 2 hidden truths r solomon is the devil and angels r the profits and apostles holy man dad never die or mighty man may you have a blast and a holy day please give God his glory and praise the god of Israel and the power of His Christ thank you for your time and most of all your interest now it's only a matter of your faith

Anonymous said...

WTF did I just read? Who in the hell are you talking about?