Dave Pack Shuts Off Access to His "god" For One Day

Dave Pack moved his little cult HQ into it's new administration building the other day.  His entire church showed up to move him in. The amazing thing is that his god's work was only shut down for one day.  That's a miracle in it's self!  For one day his god had no access to anyone in the  entire world. How shameful of the RCG to inhibit it's god so!

Of course, in typical Dave style, this is the most awesome building ever built by ANY of the COG's EVEEEEEEEEEEEER!  It is unparalleled in the universe and is the epitome of perfection as it witnesses it's perfect design to the citizens of Wadsworth.  Thousands of Wadsworthians will soon be joining Dave's cult because of this.

Church members of the RCG should be encouraged that hundreds of thousands of dollars in furnishings had to be bought to keep Dave's high standards on par with Herb's.  That's tithe money that the poor and widows scrapped to send in so Dave can have a new mahogany desks, fine art and plenty of silver and gold in his office.  State of the art flat screens tv's audio equipment are being outfitted in his office.  No expense had been spared.

Soon Dave will be gloating about his other new buildings that will be completed by fall time.  Those pussy boys in LCG and PCG cannot accomplish anything or do anything as well as Davey can.  Woo hoo!

Also, we officially moved into the new Hall of Administration building on Monday and everything went extremely well. Incredibly, God’s Work was only “down” for one business day. The building has already turned out to be much more beautiful—and functional—than anyone anticipated. We are still receiving furniture, hanging pictures, finishing certain “touches” here and there—and of course unpacking. The thought that three buildings will be in place and complete before Thanksgiving on a magnificent campus has all of us inspired beyond words. Perhaps also before Thanksgiving we could be announcing a beautiful fourth building—the Student Center.

Gerald Flurry, God's Greatest Living Prophet (after Dave Pack of course) Gives Out Proper Helicopter Etiquette Guidelines

Gerald Flurry, Armstrongisms' greatest Budweiser aficionado, has issued guidelines to the people on "the compound" on how to have proper godly helicopter etiquette.  Lord Six Pack, for some reason, seems to think his campus is worthy of being filmed by a helicopter.

The brethren have to have proper biblical understanding on what they should be doing when the helicopter flies over the compound.

• No students should be seen in the bushes discovering the missing dimension in sex.  

• No one should be peering out windows like you normally do when you see a strange car or person on the compound.  

• Avoid driving your vehicle if at all possible.  There must be no accidents with a car running into a flying helicopter.  

• Please don't wave, point, or genuflect at the helicopter as you do to me.  

• Please do not be filmed kneeling at Mr. Armstrong's prayer rock.  We do not want anyone to get the wrong idea on who we worship here.  

• Please understand that the helicopter is NOT here to pick up the auditorium and fly it to Petra.  That's next month, but not for today.

• Above All, please pray for this helicopter that it be used to glorify the god we worship.  Yes, it is proper to pray for the safety of the pagan, worldly, unconverted men who will fly this helicopter.  We do not want Satan to be able to use it for unclean purposes.  Please ask god to keep their minds pure when flying.

Mr. Gerald Flurry has approved a helicopter video/photo shoot of the campus scheduled for next Tuesday evening at 6 p.m. (May 21), weather permitting.

Over the course of 90 minutes or so, the chopper will land on the lawn in front of the auditorium and will make several passes over the campus from different angles.

To ensure the best results of our footage (for the Key of David, etc.) we ask your cooperation as follows:

• ·         Remain indoors during the flyover

• ·         If you must be outdoors, please act normally and do not attract attention to  yourself – avoid looking up or waving/pointing, gathering in groups

• ·         Avoid looking out the windows so we don’t have faces peering from within the buildings/homes

• ·         Stay away from Armstrong Auditorium and the Hall of Administration (or remain indoors)

• ·         Avoid driving vehicles through campus during the flyover

• ·         In case of emergency, please dial 1002 from any campus telephone to call security

Our neighbors have been notified, as well as the local authorities.

You can help us by praying for God’s protection and safety for the crew, perfect weather conditions and a technically easy shoot.

Thank you in advance for your cooperation!

The Plain Truth About Gay Farm Animals

Those crazy folk over on the COG Yahoo boards, God bless 'em, never fail to keep the world entertained.  Today we have a world renown authority telling us just what it is that makes farm animals horny and gay.

Apparently if a calf is licked by a male cow or female cow that is not his mother, this leads to cow gayness.  Calves that are raised in groups with other cows, in a regulated controlled environment, turn out to be gay if they are licked by others.  I kid you not!

The stupidity that occupys the minds of Armstrongites never ceases to amaze me.  They can't feed the homeless or take care of a neighbor but they can write about horny gay cows.

Today I will write about what makes Farm Animals Normal and balanced. Compared to what causes Homosexual Animals.

A calf (including up to four fostered) being raised by a Cow in natural conditions, feeding at will, where the Cow licks the foster calves, and the calves bonds with its mother and even being kicked at times. Turns into a normal sexually orientated Calf. 

Where Calves are raised without a natural mother, (and even on natural milk), in a controlled situation, being raised as a group, will have enhanced homosexual tendencies, the greater the group is unnaturally controlled, the greater the Homosexual tendency.

The difference between these two groups of calves, is like night compared to day.

 

Possibly the same applies with people.  As society become more regulated and demanding and controlled (in an unnatural way), the great the homosexual tendencies.

Did you know that bad polluted food makes people gay?  Did you know that slow sailing ships made people gay? WTF??????

Of cause, there will be other things, that might affect things.  (bad polluted food etc)

In years past, slow sailing ships were the abode of many Homosexuals.  (Controlled, cramped, environments)

Worth thinking about.

I don't think so!  It's no wonder COG members end up being such laughing stocks when things like  the above are broadcast as truth.

E. W King Exposes Hillary Clinton

E. W. King is all hot and bothered right now.  He says he has earth shattering news about Hillary Clinton and exposes her.  Why is it that so many of the splinter cult leaders think they know more dark secrets about their country's government than the anyone else does?  They all seem to think have have an inside track somehow.  Idiots all.

Hilary Clinton exposed! COGSR has now learned the truth about Benghazi. Hilary Clinton was involved in trafficking American weapons through the Libya Ambassador location. Some of these weapons are still coming through Turkey. They are supporting the rebels.

The American ambassador plot was discovered by Hezbollah thus it was attacked. This is what happened and is continuing to happen.

COGSR has warned about watching Turkey and COGSR predicted the Ambassador attack.