UCG Attempts To Re-brand Its Self As Hip And Up to Date Due To Its Embarrassment Over Its Imagined "Gospel" Message

After the epic failure last year of its billboard campaign that brought in one possible member at a cost of close to 250,000.00, the UCG has had to come up with new ways to draw in the gullible public.  With the widespread use of smart phones and tablets people are moving away from reading printed materials. Not able to draw in new members through billboard campaigns, it has to resort to other avenues.

After being humiliated by Dave Pack's most superfantabulous web site ever in the history of humanity, the UCG realized they needed to change and become fresh and appealing.

The Internet team at the United Church of God is always looking for ways to improve our visitor's experience. Over the past several months we've been very busy building something that we think you'll love! We're very happy to say we're almost ready to unveil the new UCG.org website!

One interesting thing you will notice when you check the page out, it no longer "preaches" a "gospel" message on its main page.  That embarrassing message is relegated to several clicks away. It tries to present a washed up and sanitized version of  who the UCG is as a church on its front page.

The Internet has changed really quickly! For years the strategy was to put as much content on your homepage as possible so search engines could find your site and make sure that visitors could find the information they were looking for. With advances from search engines, this isn't the case anymore. We're planning to move all gospel-preaching content off of the "United Church of God" section of the website, and really focus in on who we are as a Church.

We're going to give visitors a much clearer way to find a congregation near them and a really good idea of what they can find when they get to services. We'll show them our outreach efforts, sermons, and even invite them in to watch a webcast Sabbath service so they can answer God's calling.

Imprisoned Church of God Felon Claims He Is The Only True Apostle...Unlike the False Apostles Bob Thiel, Gerald Flurry and Dave Pack

The Church of God's favorite imprisoned felon is back sharing his incredible message to the world.

Sent to prison by a wise Judge for a biblical sentence of 3 1/2 years, Ron Weinland is now heading into his final one year countdown to probation. Its been a hard road for the last 2 1/2 years sharing his prison cell with Bubba.  The only apostle of the Church of God in this age and number one of the two witless witnesses will never look at the second witness Laura the same after this.

For the past 2 1/2 years Weinerdude has been sitting in his cell dreaming up end time scenarios attempting to prove why he and Laura are the two witless witnesses, prophets and revelator of God's words.  His small flock has lost countless members over the last couple of years because of his prison sentence and out outrageous behavior of his co-conspirator wife Laura and money laundering Audra.

Since Weinerdude is in prison cell he has to look at himself from the outside in.  He is such a magnificent apostle that he has to speak about himself in the third person.

Weinerdude writes:

Ronald Weinland, an author whose books have gone into over 170 countries in 7 languages, is first and foremost an apostle to the One Almighty Eternal God. Preceded by Herbert W. Armstrong who led the Worldwide Church of God, Ronald Weinland is an apostle in a long lineage of God’s apostles, beginning with the original 12 who began their work in 31 AD, long before others emerged falsely calling themselves Christian.

Ronald Weinland is the last apostle in this final age of man’s self-rule. That self-rule will end with the second coming of Jesus Christ who returns to put an end to WW III and bring peace to this earth – peace which mankind has been unable to achieve for 6,000 years. He came the first time, nearly 2,000 years ago, as God’s Passover Lamb who made possible the forgiveness of sins for mankind. This time, he is coming as a “Lion” with great supernatural power to chasten, battle, and conquer those who are destroying the earth. Jesus Christ will then establish a one-world government under his reign – in peace – for the next 1,000 years.

Like Paul and most of the other apostles, Weinerdude is in prison for his beliefs.  Please be assured it is for his beliefs and not the fact that he and his crooked family spent tithe money for their own personal pleasures like furs, diamonds, BMW's, trips to Vegas and Europe and transferring large sums to Swiss bank accounts.

 Historical accounts have some variance, but it is believed that most all of the original apostles, including Paul who was the apostle to the gentiles, were imprisoned and eventually killed. The last apostle to write scripture was John, who was also a prophet, and while imprisoned by the government of his time on the Isle of Patmos, he had revealed to him the Book of Revelation, which he then wrote. Ronald Weinland is the only other apostle who has also been made a prophet by God and Jesus Christ.

Next Weinerdude makes another bold claim.  His god personally made an apostle in 1997.  Its amazing how many weird men in the Church of God made themselves important in the 1996-1998 time period.

Since the days of John, nearly 1,900 years ago, God’s true Church has not been accustomed to having a prophet, but God made Ronald Weinland a prophet in 1997. 

Weinerdude is such a magnificent spokesmen for his god that it was all prophesied in the Bible that many of his followers would leave and mock him.

Ronald Weinland is the last apostle to be sent to this world, and as such, God has established through him a final testimony (witness) of mankind’s true attitude and spirit toward God Himself. This has been made manifest (revealed) through “the many” who have turned in bitterness, hatred, disgust, mockery, ridicule, and slander toward the one whom God has sent.

Poor Ronnie!  He is picked on and maligned.  Poor thing.

Ever the martyr, Weinerdude has to declare how horrible his persecution is.

Much of mankind’s true attitude has also been revealed through Ronald Weinland’s trial and imprisonment by the government of the United States. He began serving his sentence in February of 2013, with a release date in February of 2016. God has established the true spirit of mankind through the ages by how his prophets and apostles have been treated, with so many of them being imprisoned and even many killed.

There is not a single Church of God minister alive to this day who has suffered any persecution.  Every single one of them live lives surrounded in luxury and excess.  Building mini-empires, colleges and auditoriums have been a colossal waste of time.  As these men bluster and bloviate on their magnificence, their members are leaving in untold numbers.  Every single one gets up and lies that their "work" is growing as never before.  All they do is gain church-hoppers moving from once splinter group to the next every time they get pissed off about something.

All Weinerdude is going to do in one years time is get out of his love-nest and start committing the same crimes again. He has not learned a single thing while in prison.

It's Pretend to be Jewish Day...

Its Saturday and in Church of God land it's "Let's pretend to be Jewish day." People's Facebook pages are filled with the above meme's on a regular basis when Friday night/Saturday rolls around.  Most of these come from United Church of God folk.  RCG and PCG sheeple don't send this kind of stuff out since using the internet is Satanic, unless of course you are RCG/PCG leaders.....but that's another story.

Ex-church members get tired of the hypocrisy when they see that meme and are now posting this one:

Its one thing to keep a day as "sabbath" to rest and recuperate, but the Church of God has attached so much baggage to the day that it is not a day of rejuvenation.  Being forced to do something does not make it right.