The Role of Women In The Church

Sandra on  Chronicles of a (Formerly Christian) Heretic  had these questions to ask about women and their role in the church.  Can you ever imagine any woman ever asking these questions in Armstrongism?  Those that dared to have all been disfellowshiped, or beaten back into submission (literally and figuratively).

I know women preachers who are better speakers and more knowledgeable about the Bible than most of the COG ministers out there.  How embarrassing for those COG minsters to have to deal with that!  Imagine a woman smarter than Rod Meredith, Pack, Coulter, Weinland or Flurry!  Well, on second thought, that is not hard to imgine at all! 

What If Women Had a Voice at Nicea?

What if women had been given a voice at Nicea? What if the Apostle Junia had written an epistle that survived, even if only in references by ancient critics? What if the cult of Jesus had not won the economic and political turf war against the mystic gnostics? What if the Acts of Paul and Thecla had made the canon? What if we still believed Jesus really was a totally flesh-and-blood, sweaty, sexy man?

Would women have not become second-class citizens of the Kingdom? Would we have quit making excuses for ignoring "male and female, created He them" and "in Christ there is no slave nor free, male or female"? Would women be respected in the Christian community as whole, complex people instead of wombs with legs?

What if we had taken Jesus seriously when he honored the whore, the women disciples, the adulteress, the mother, the rich patroness, rather than only following his example as the destroyer of the temple?

Who would we think God is? Who would we think we are?

Idiots In The Pulpit: Jesus Camp-Becky Fischer Teaching Kids How To Raise The Dead

Becky Fischer teaches children in Singapore  how to raise the dead:

Talk About Some Busy Angels!

click to embiggen

Armstrongism has always thrived on the myth that it's members were going to be whisked away to three an half years of final training in the deserts of Jordan. 

Various evangelists and ministers have come up with all kids of idiotic ways of getting there.  The big thing that was floating around when 1971 hit the scene was that DC 9's (or 10's) would be used to get us there.  At that point in time those planes were having a lot of problems with cracks in their wings.  Some numbnut in Pasadena came up with the reasoning that with all the airliners disposing of those planes we would be able to use them to fly the church to Petra.  God was going to miraculously hold those wings together and not allow them to fall apart mid flight over the Atlantic.  The airline companies would be happy to give us the planes because they all secretly hoped the planes would crash and the TRUE CHURCH would be killed off.  But to our relief and comfort our magical god was going to make it all work out to our benefit.

Now there is some minister telling his congregations that personal angles will be whisking members off to Petra when the time arrives.  I forget where I heard that first.  It may have been in a comment on here.

Tonight there was a comment on the the uber-conservative COG board on Yahoo.  They brought up this very point:

  In Mathew 24 and starting in verse 15, it tells about the coming tribulation and going down through verse 44, do these events follow in exact sequence, and immediately happen just prior to Christ`s return, or could some of these events happen just prior to the tribulation? Who would it be that would be the one taken and the one left? It would seem that since God`s people will be in a place of safety at the time of the tribulation, where would the one be taken to be apparently spared?! Is it possible that in verse 40 and verse 41 that it is referring to those just prior to the tribulation, and is it possible that these verses are speaking about some in the Church where one is converted and the other is not and the converted one taken to a place of safety, possibly by an angel of God?-----I just thought that I would throw this out as food for thought.

You would think after 70 some years of failed prophecies and the public abysmal failure in 1971 and 1975 that these numbnuts would keep their mouths shut!  But no!  It is one speculation after another. 

  Flurry's cult is ready to flee at any moment as they build million dollar buildings around the clock.  Meredith's cult is ready to flee in 2012 or 2016 or whenever Prophet Theil figures out the correct date.

What would Armstrongism be without it's myths, legends and it's magical god?