Monday, February 16, 2015

Elijah David C Pack Claims He Will Be Training The Two Witless Witnesses

Is Elijah David C Pack a type of Christ Don Knotts?

Elijah Christ Pack is getting ready to perform mighty miracles and wonders and that a future false prophet is coming to try and destroy the TRUTH Elijah Christ Pack is restoring.  That false prophet is out after Elijah Christ Dave.  Elijah Christ Dave also claims he will training the two witless witnesses, who will of course arise from the Restored Church of God.

He does have the picture of Don Knotts right though. Elijah Christ Pack is a bumbling buffoon.

 Point 111 – twenty two to go, then some concluding points. I have personally seen and proven for years that the remnant will not move without miracles. Only an empowered Elijah, with the two witnesses as men of wonder, could bring them. It was a resurrection of the dead – I'm not saying that that'll be involved here, but I'm just trying to get you to understand something – that convinced the widow of Zarephath, who harbored him during the drought, of Elijah's credentials. Not the miraculous drought – he dried the heavens for three and a half years – nor his years-long miracle of food provided for her, her son and himself. It was the resurrection of the dead. Now, it's just an interesting point which I throw out there. Elijah came with enormous power; he could call fire down, he could resurrect the dead, he could dry the heavens, he could multiply food for years out of a small amount, and take care of her son – resurrected her son when he died – sobering point. I've often said the false prophet would claim to be the Elijah. I have no doubt of it now. How much more could this be said with me claiming the same office with miracles in the false prophet's time? You understand? He's got to! Why do think in Revelation he's called the false prophet? Now, I know he's called the man of sin in other places, but when he works with the Beast he's called a false prophet. Which prophet are hundreds and hundreds of millions of people all over the world waiting to see? The entire Islamic world venerates Elijah; they venerate John the Baptist. They even revere John's parents for having given birth to John the Baptist, who was a type of the Elijah. Billions are waiting for Elijah. Recall my words about the final false prophet; considering my role it seems more certain than ever that he will claim to be Elijah before claiming to be God himself. We're into implications and ramifications. I do not come as some kind of academical Elijah; I make some nice assertions and it just sort of rests, which was one of the problems with Mr. Armstrong. He didn't look like Elijah, but he sort of did some restorative things, but didn't do powerful miracles – didn't need to. I'm gonna need to. Try to imagine, by the way – try to imagine, did you ever think of this? – I travelled between the two that stand there described in Zechariah 3 and 4, and here's this man of wonder on the left, Arnold Schwarzenegger, on the right is Hulk Hogan, and I'm Don Knotts standing there in the middle; I can't do anything. How would that look? It would make God's leaders look like fools, "What, you're Elijah? You can't do anything? You've got these two wunderkind on either side of you here, they're doing everything?" It doesn't make sense. I mentor them because I can do those things; when the time is right we'll see. 


Anonymous said...

I believe that God will leave it up to Thelma Lou, though Barney has his own set of end-time problems to deal with.
Hopefully, Thelma Lou will set Barney straight and not involve Aunt Bee, since Aunt Bee is currently fighting off marriage proposals.
Perhaps Gomer and Andy will tune in to the radio and find "The Truth", and spank Opey for becoming an agnostic!

Anonymous said...

"I've often said the false prophet would claim to be the Elijah. I have no doubt of it now."

Neither do I, Dave. Neither do I.

"How much more could this be said with me claiming the same office with miracles in the false prophet's time? You understand? He's got to!"

Yep, I understand, Dave. I understand perfectly. Not only does he "have to," he's already done it.

Anonymous said...

Actually, HWA would be more like Otis.

Pack would be Goober. Check that; Pack IS Goober.

Byker Bob said...

Boy, oh boy! Imagine being resurrected from the dead by Dave, and then over the next couple of days, learning the full implications. Would that be an "Oh, Shitttttt!!!! moment, or what? The poor guy would probably be saying, "Dude! This sucks! You suck! I really wish you had let me rest in peace."


Anonymous said...

This guy's warped mind has taken a frightening turn. I wish people would just head for the exits.

Michael said...

What a strange world this Pack dude lives in...

And of course he's the center of it all.

Most amazing thing is, there are hundreds of people sitting on folding chairs listening to this nonsensical megalomaniacal rambling and nodding in agreement.