Saturday, June 30, 2012

John Allen: About To Lay Bare All The Deep Dark Secrets Of The Ages

John Allen, the crazy COG member in Costa Rica has recovered from his bout with gangrene and is back receiving messages from God.  According to Allen, all great prophets throughout the ages were taught secretly by God and others in special schools for prophets.  Obviously God did not let Meredith, Pack, Furry and Weinland into that school because they have all been miserable failures.  But never fear!  God had a better plan.  God is training up John Allen to reveal secret hidden knowledge to the COG's.

Let me ask you a quick question. Do you think Moses just "came out of
nowhere?" Of course he didn't. He had the same training any future
Pharoah would have, which was much like the training for a high priest.
Do you think that Elijah and the prophets just "came out of nowhere" too?
Well, maybe God called some of them specially, but do you realize that
Elijah had a "school of the prophets?" One day we will discuss this, but
it is true.

And what about the Essenes who made and preserved The Dead Sea Scrolls?
All of these passed down a special oral tradition and training that was
not available to the common people. This was highly specialized "secret
knowledge" known only to the very few.

But in this end time, God has begun to reveal these secrets to my mind and
I'm going to pass on a lot of it to you.

The last known school of knowledge that real prophets got to use was the Library at Alexandria.  But those damned Catholics burned it!  Say what?  The Catholic Church burned down the library????? 

The Catholic Church burned the library of Alexandria because it contained
a lot of this ancient knowledge that they didn't want the people to have.
Because, if they did have it, they wouldn't believe their lies and
deceptions anymore.

I hate to break it to John, but his god must have jiggled the spoon when he was putting John's brains in that empty head.  This is what Wikipedia says about the Library at Alexandria

In the 2nd century AD, the Roman historian Aulus Gellius wrote in his book Attic Nights that the Royal Alexandrian Library was burned by mistake when some of Caesar’s soldiers started a fire. Furthermore, in the 4th century, both the pagan historian Ammianus[19] and the Christian historian Orosius wrote that the Bibliotheca Alexandrina had been destroyed by Caesar's fire.

Therefore, the Royal Alexandrian Library may have been burned after Strabo's visit to the city (25 BC) but before the beginning of the 2nd century AD when Plutarch wrote. Otherwise Plutarch and later historians would not have mentioned the incident and mistakenly attributed it to Julius Caesar. It is also most probable that the library was destroyed by someone other than Caesar, although the later generations linked the fire that took place in Alexandria during Caesar's time to the burning of the Bibliotheca.[26] Some believe that the most likely scenario was the destruction that accompanied the wars between Zenobia of Palmyra and the Roman Emperor Aurelian, in the second half of the 3rd century (see below).

Because of all that lost knowledge the world has been in the dark about so many things.  But now a most glorious event is happening.  God has reveled such terrifying hidden knowledge that the world will hate John Allen even more than they hated Herbert Armstrong!

God's time has now come to RESTORE ALL KNOWLEDGE to His Church. And if the world hated Herbert Armstrong for the little bit of truth he knew, you can imagine their reaction when, literally, ALL THE DEEP DARK SECRETS OF THE AGES ARE LAID BARE FOR ALL TO SEE.

The elite of the world, the educated, and the scholars will soon be going into "apoplectic fits" over the secret knowledge John is about to reveal!

This world's elites will be in apoplectic fits of rage because of what we
will openly reveal to you, but God's time has come to lift the veil that
has obscured history and knowledge until now. The early church knew these
things, and were fed to the lions for revealing this to common people.

The early church was not fed to the lions because of secret hidden knowledge.  He needs to get his facts straight about that too.

If you want to hear this secret knowledge that will send the educated into screaming fits of rage then click on his link below.  Better yet, don't waste you time because it is as silly as you are already thinking it will be.

But, now God's time has come to reveal this to you. Are you ready?

This is part one in a new series that will answer all of the basic
questions mankind has -- and don't imagine that even you old timers have
all of the answers. This first part deals with the origin of Satan and his
demons, but don't make the mistake of thinking you know it all here
either. We must begin to understand these things in order or us to grow.
Next time we will begin to answer the question of what is man, but in
order to understand that you need to get this first.

You can listen to it right now in our Sermon, Services, and Bible study page:

Plain Bible Truth

Have a great Sabbath!



Douglas Becker said...

But, but... we need to know more about the Stargate under the ocean letting the demons come to earth!!!

(This will be news to General Jack O'Neil.)

Anonymous said...

"But in this end time, God has begun to reveal these secrets to my mind and I'm going to pass on a lot of it to you."

Just like the rest of these schizophrenic kooks. Yes, yes, god has begun to reveal esoteric knowledge directly to his mind. If only we could get all these guys to get in line. Oh, and why is he just going to pass a lot of it on, and not all of it? That's right, because if he passes all of it along, then he won't be special anymore (boo hoo).

John said...

This is what has bothered me about HWA, his WCG and its offshoots for a while now since studying the language and methods he used one starts to realize that he really comes across as a modern-day Gnostic pure and simple! This no doubt was what got his followers sucked in as his sales pitch comprised a tantalizing promise to reveal hidden knowledge--ultimately a creed entailing 18 "truths"--that was lost for over 1900 years that only he restored. Yet, they were nothing more than a mish-mash of other sects belief-systems that had been around for decades if not centuries before him. Another correlation with Gnostic cults like Masonry, for instance, was his method of recruitment since he wasn't like Paul or the other disciples who openly missionized near and far. On the contrary he'd encourage his followers to go out of their way to not publicize, preach or convert others to their Christian faith instead new initiates would be drawn or "called" into the church by some sort of esoteric attraction. Then there's his variation on the Gnostic doctrine of divinization like Mormonism, for instance, that claims man can become God. It's not surprising thenthat those assuming his mantle package it the same way.

Anonymous said...

Let me ask you a quick question. Do you think Moses just "came out of nowhere?"

Actually he probably came out of the pen of a Priest in the Babylonian Captivity.


Assistant Deacon said...

Add another nutjob to the pile.

"God has begun to reveal these secrets to my mind..."

The men-in-the-white-coats bell, it tolls for thee, Mr. Allen.

Anonymous said...

One's first hint that this is not the place to be is when you start hearing "never before understood," "God's puzzzle solved" "Mystery of the ages revealed," "God inspired me to..." "God spoke to me," "And yes brethren...I am _________"

Just vote with your feet.

Anonymous said...

Something to think about
I have made a few comments to several posted articles and found some reactions difficult to evaluate purpose. Due to a loss in electric for a couple days I was unable to view the activity here. When I viewed the recent activity this thought came to mind.

Feeding the mind can be compared to feeding the body. It is assumed that what goes in has a useful purpose. Normally in feeding the body we choose things we know to be good for our health and have a history of being good for human consumption. We would not choose something that is toxic, regurgitated, or already passed through the digestive process and disposed of through the process of elimination.

Animals are a little different. I have dog who doesn’t always make proper judgment. We feed him a balanced diet, but occasionally he chooses on his own and we need take corrective action. He caught a rabbit and had it half eaten before I discovered it. He had ingested worms and had to be treated for the problem. I have been successful in teaching him not to re-eat what he has regurgitated, but I still need to get him to understand that deer dropping are not good dog food even if there may be a little nourishment left in them. They can also contain the parasites that inhabit wildlife.


I personally believe there is a lot of balanced information regarding Christianity and the need to consider it objectively, but I do not believe all the contradictions can be fully resolved. There is a point that I feel should be noted. If Jesus the Christ is not who people in biblical history claimed him to; Christianity is no longer the Christianity people were willing to sacrifice their life for.

If Jesus the Christ is who biblical history claims him to be; those claiming new revelations are presuming that either the Father or the Son of God is creating another Jesus to finish a work that the first Jesus started. It is quite obvious that these claimants are not repeating the apostolic claims attributed the Jesus that walked the earth 2000years ago and I do not believes the bible supports another Jesus.
Right or wrong the whole history of the Christianity has revolved around the question of what and who is God. The final decision of Catholicism was the determination that the Father, the Son (Jesus), and the Holy Spirit make up the whole of God. While they are defined as “persons” (which is difficult to understand today) it takes all three to be what Christianity defines as God (which is impossible to envision). If we see God as a human or anything else we have a false god. If we see any of the three entities as a human now, we are seeing three false gods. I can explain the process of development of the triune God, but I have nothing human to compare it to. I tried corporation, but a human corp. isn’t the best example is it DB?
I’ll remain Anon for now.

Douglas Becker said...

Hmmm. Maybe a Business Writing Course would help?

Assistant Deacon said...

As Bill O'Reilly might say, Anon/Albert B/Mr. Nobody:

"Short, pithy comments if you wish to opine...."

Anonymous said...

We agree with Assistant Deacon.

Morris Loess and Les S. Moore

Anonymous said...

Anon, your argument is silly.

What about the book of Revelation? Do you discount that book of your bible because you think this was some guy John asking you to believe that God was setting up another Jesus to continue the work that the first Jesus started?

It would be easier and more to the point to say that what this nutjob says is a mixture of pure garbage, sheer lunacy, and utter absurdity. Which you could not imagine coming from a sane person, let alone the all-powerful creator the universe.

Anonymous said...

Anon, see rules 14 and 81. No exceptions.

Anonymous said...

If Malm ever did his homework, he'd see that the Sabbath theme in Genesis is a rewrite of a Mesopotamian Polytheistic myth where the gods got tired of human complaining in their feeding the gods and destroyed them in a flood to get some rest.....

Long but fascinating story. The Sabbath is not what it is cracked up to be.


Anonymous said...

Anon wrote, "...see rules 14 and 81. No exceptions."

Ok, I'll bite. What are "rules 14 and 81"?

(I'm guessing it's not a reference to Louisiana Law RS 14:81 which makes indecent behavior with juveniles illegal, although HWA and GTA both violated those laws.)


Anonymous said...

DB said “Maybe a Business Writing Course would help?”

Naw! It’s to late in life for that. What I need to is quit wasting my time trying to show a glimpse of the development of Christianity here and do something more productive like watering the garden so we will have some good food to eat.
Have fun,
Anon, Albert, AB, Grandpa, and Great Grandpa. B

Anonymous said...

Dear Albert S. Boocher,

Let me congratulate you. Your consistent display of the lack of comprehension regarding the meaning of the word anonymous is epic. Drinks all around.

Couple that with the preaching in your signature broken English, and it makes it super easy to recognize each of your posts every time you decide to anonymously grace us with your concerned presence regarding the lapsed state of our eternal salvation. If you persevere, I am sure that eventually you will cause each and every one of us to see the glorious light of Armstrongism once again. Maybe.

Or maybe some of us let our AC Library Cards expire because we came to the conclusion that Herbert wasn't who he said he was and his teachings were not what he said they were. Others may have concluded that god wasn't calling them now in the first place, so they never had a chance in this life anyway, and so their religious effort in this life was in vain because they were just talking to the Hand anyway. Still others may have concluded that god crossed the sea to Valinor with the elves, Bilbo, Odin, Zeus, and Osiris.

I'm really not sure that there is anything you can say that could extinguish our doubts about Armstrong, Armstrongism, and/or the pantheons of deities. Preaching Christ and him crucified is certainly not going to speak to any of these concerns. The garden is probably a better use of your time.

Anonymous said...

To Anonymous
I am puzzled by your response to my exit post. What makes you think I have been trying to get people to return to Armstrongism or that I am concerned for your eternal salvation?

My interest and focus was and is on Christianity. What I was trying to communicate was the fact that Armstrong and those who are involved in the development of modern cults are dealing with the same issues that existed at the time Christianity had its beginning. I would think that those few posting claiming to be Christian would have some familiarity with these historical conflicts.

As for preaching Christ I simply pointed out that Christianity is not build on the teachings of Jesus Christ about moral reform. It is built on the belief that the eternal Son of God became the Jesus who was the Christ crucified and resurrected. I did state whether this is fact or fiction.

I am sorry that I am so inept at communication, but I do the best I can.
Albert B.

Anonymous said...

Dear Albert S. Boocher,

Let's see, the fact that you're "trying to communicate" by lecture us about shit that means nothing. Why are you trying? Why do you care so much? When you're not trolling, it seems you're making thinly veiled attempts to evangelize. Not cool.

You are a newbie. If you want to be a part of this community and think you have something to contribute, then a good start would be to cool your jets. It is every newbie's job to try to fit in, not to try to change everyone else to fit you, and to be respectful to established members of this community. Do your job.

If you're so antsy for Jesus, maybe consider WWJD? Would Jesus be a troll? No. You shouldn't either.

Byker Bob said...

These ACOG splinters are all personality cults. This is something that some people never can seem to get past. They've all got to add either Herbert W. Armstrong's pet theories, or follow his example and develop some of their own.

This goes way beyond belief or Christianity, and into the twilight fringes. Original, or even abstract thinking is not a bad thing, but these guys spike their doctrinal approach by invoking the Lake of Fire if others don't buy in.