Thursday, August 4, 2011

For Those Trying to Heal From Spiritual Abuse and Still Remain Spiritual

Spiritual abuse was the biggest factor that caused hundreds of thousands of COG members to leave the church over the last 70 someeyars.  It is still an issue to this day, as the hundreds of COGlet splinter cults continue to abuse and mentally torture their members.

Years ago I picked up a book by Jeff VanVonderen called The Subtle Power of Spiritual Abuse. This book and When God Becomes a Drug were important in my recovery.  It is a great resource for those who have been spiritually and mentally abused by COG ministers and leaders.


You may have seen the author if you watch the A&E cable Intervention 

He has a new book for those who are seeking spiritual healing:


Soul Repair: Rebuilding a Spiritual Life (Hardcover) — $14.00
Do you fear that God is angry with you? Do you wonder if God is really for you? if God really loves you? Deep down many of us believe that we are not good enough, and never will be good enough, to have a meaningful relationship with God. This is because we have been spiritually trained in ways that have left us with distorted and inadequate spiritualities of four different kinds:
  • abusive
  • anorexic
  • addictive
  • codependent
Jeff VanVonderen, Dale Ryan and Juanita Ryan understand this problem because they have been there both personally and professionally. And they are prepared to help you rebuild your spiritual life. If you find yourself living out a burdensome and unfulfilling spirituality, this book is for you. If you are longing to have a relationship with God that works, this book can show you the way.



5 comments:

Retired Prof said...

What does it mean, to "remain spiritual"? What is a "spiritual life"?

I hear many people use these phrases, but everybody seems to mean something different by them. In my attempts to talk with such people, I have even used such phrases myself. I felt like a fake, not really understanding what I was saying, but nobody has ever noticed.

I suspect "spiritual" is an evocative blank like Barack Obama's "hope and change." Voters were expected to fill in with their own hopes and with the changes they each desired, and to attribute those particulars to Obama and his political policies.

So to avoid feeling like a con man or a hypocrite in my public talks, I have dropped the word "spiritual" except to say something like, "I understand this story in purely material terms myself, but if you can find some spiritual significance in it, you are welcome to do so."

Allen C. Dexter said...

I struggle with that term, "spiritual," also. It does mean something different to every person.

I prefer ethical or moral, but they can also mean different things to different people. The problem is that human language is often inadequate to express what we really mean. It's always subject to individual interpretation.

Byker Bob said...

For me, the only alternative was to not remain spiritual. There had simply been too much abuse, too much brainwashing, and I was aware of too much corruption. Therefore, I could not go directly to the healing stage. So, I chose non-belief. That remained my status for three decades, and my life, and mental state were certainly much better than they had been while I had been a participant in Armstrongism.

Non-belief is basically a vacuum.
As we all know, a vacuum can cleanse, and insulate from further damage. But, it cannot heal. It can set up conditions for healing, but another resource is required to propel us into the next stage.

I also found that it doesn't really matter what we consciously do or plan. God just keeps on knocking on the prodigal's door. Ten years ago, if you told me that, I would have been hostile to the very idea, even to the extent of asking believers NOT to pray for me. If there's a road to Damascus in a non-believer's future, basically there is nothing he or she can do about it. And, in retrospect, there is no reason to fear it, because it is subjective and personal evidence of God's love for His children.

If there is one regret, it is that I had not been so hard-headed, had answered the door earlier on, and been able to experience and share the blessings I have today for the majority of my past.

BB

Allen C. Dexter said...

"Non-belief is basically a vacuum."

No, it isn't.

Non-belief has opened the universe to me. I'm talking about the quantum, humanist universe -- the universe of physics and true science.

Can I absolutely state how it all arose. No. Neither can you, unless you have some way of explaining the existence of your god -- which god would have to be far above and beyond the marvelous universe you think can't be explained without him.

Byker Bob said...

Sure I can, Allen. God works through evolutionary processes. He's in everything, because everything is made from Himself, and therefore every living being is interconnected, which is why parallel evolution of plants and animals, just in time for one another, was even possible.

There is a book on the topic, Genesis and the Big Bang, which is very informative.

BB