Saturday, July 26, 2014

6+ Hour Sermon Still Plodding Along on 16+ Different Topics. Gerald Waterhouse Is Jealous!!!!!!!

Remember those wonderful days sitting in a boiling tent listening to the Church of God's greatest buffoon talk on and on and on and on.... Four hours after the wind bag droning on he would still have something he felt needed to be said.  Then after it was all over  you sat there and thought to yourself, "What the hell was that all about?  He never  really said anything that was worth remembering!"

Since the death of Gerald Waterhouse the COG has had an empty void that needed to be filled.  There have been many windbags over the years but none has ever compared to Waterhouse.  That may be changing. Though this new preacher has been splitting his up into 1+ hour segments.  Week after week he plods along never sticking to one point by jumping all over the place.

Here is what he brags about in his 5th sermon in his series:

This is the fifth of a multi-part sermon series by ______ covering the Gospel account credited to Luke. This sermon covers chapters 12 through 13. _____ discusses hypocritical religious leader, that souls can die, standing for Jesus, persecution, the parable of ‘the rich fool,’ Christian priorities, the ‘little flock,’ treasure, being ready, watching prophecy, explains that to whom much is given much is required, Jesus’ plan was divisive not ecumenical, discerning the signs of the time, that God has some patience for those who have not born fruit yet, Sabbath hypocrisy, parable of the mustard seed, the kingdom of God, the narrow way, and those unwilling to listen.
 Its exhausting just reading all the topics!

The other previous sermons are just as convoluted and over inflated with nonsense.  Why anyone sits there and listens to this drivel is beyond me.  All prophet, apostle, Elijah Thiel talks about is the "ministry of death-the law" and nothing about Jesus.


Byker Bob said...

He oughta meet Les Izmore. Ol' Les would teach him how to get across a message succinctly, with a paucity of words, before losing the listener's attention.

Most of the people in Waterhouse's audience were fervently fantasizing that the last trump would sound right then and there just to shut Gerald up!

At least, in Thiel's case we now have personal portable bathrooms that people can wear to services.


ex-WCG hethen aithiest said...

How can anyone sit through week after week after week of any COG sermon. They talk about the same subjects on a rotating basis year after year after year.

Those poor people who hang-on must have minds like mush by now.

What a sad pity that there are still thousands that hold on to this B.S !!

Anonymous said...

I recall once sitting in a ministerial "exhauster" course where the evangelist thought his four hours of blather would be well taken on the topic of "marriage."

He read every scripture from Genesis to Revelation on marriage from the Naves Topical Bible and commented on every one of them.

Somehow he thought this was helpful. Probably one of the most annoying mornings I ever spent , well save for being told how to use 3x5 cards for something I forget or Bernie Schnippert talking about anything.

Bob Thiel is as undisciplined a speaker as has ever been produced by any COG. He's not interesting, he's not organized and he's not often correct in his understanding of the Bible and it's politic, actual authors, canonized forgeries, internal problems and contradictions.

old EXPCG hag said...

Can we get back to the Dating Game and let me pick #2?

This is boring.

Anonymous said...

I always thought Dave Pack held the record with his 4.5 hour sermon on how he finally came to the conclusion that his mission in life was to be a 21st Century Apostle. It's available for download at the RCG site...


Anonymous said...

Everyone reads it and makes their own private guesses about what the bible is supposedly saying, and what a deity they invented in their own mind must have meant by it. 2000 years of endless speculation along these lines has produced what? A litany of misinterpretations, misguided philosophy, and mistaken conclusions. If a metaphysical being were responsible for the Christian bible, then he would certainly be a mischievous being, if not misanthropic. Why do we need one more arrogant so-and-so to rewrite this litany for the billionth time? We don't. Go away, Bob!

Black Ops Mikey said...

The most boring preacher is the one that falls asleep during his own sermon.

Herman Hoeh was somewhat more compact but his later sermons were terrible, convoluted and wrong. The last one I heard from him was at the Feast he gave on the 75 year economic cycle. Subsequent history has absolutely proved he was absolutely preposterous and the sermon was rubbish. I am one of the few who could understand his sermons: He would start out with about 7 different threads given at the beginning and proceed to tie them up in a tidy conclusion. That worked well for those of us who have an excellent memory and can reason in 7 dimensions with high structural visualization. Anyone else would be at a loss.

But speaking of being at a loss, Hoeh degenerated into total incomprehensibility as he slogged along as a Corporate lackey under Tkach. He made less and less sense because his reasoning abilities had been torpedoed. That's what you get in the Moral Mazes when you give yourself over to a psychopathic corporate world.

As for Gerald Watermouth, he was quite unhappy under Tkach and the last time I heard him live, he was giving total rubbish about the legacy of Armstrongism from early America (which never connected to the CoG7 and never was a part of WCG history -- and we have reliable documented proof). He was still manic with an overwhelming display of ideaphoria free of any regimented discipline.

The bottom line to all this is that if people really want to learn to communicate, they need to learn Information Mapping from Dr. Robert Horn (who is currently the visiting scholar at Stanford University). It doesn't do any good if you don't get your message across and you don't even know what message you are trying to convey. It takes time, effort and discipline to communicate effectively and it's pretty obvious that the Armstrongists don't have a clue on how to do that. Ambassador Club was a total waste of time.

All this is rather moot, since the Cult of Herbert Armstrong Mafia don't have anything worthwhile to say and we've methodically gone through and disproved them point by point.

The only thing for them to do now is to apologize to us for all their worthless drivel and then shut up and go away.

That is clear, isn't it?

Anonymous said...

The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending, then having the two as close together as possible.

George Burns

Anonymous said...

It's taken way too long but I have concluded I'll do my own thinking, study and conclusion drawing. I don't need someone to tell me how they think it all is.

Byker Bob said...

There are always going to be people who buy a black Stratocaster because Eric Clapton plays one, rather than considering the care that went into Eric's selection of the guitar in the first place, such as tone, application, compatibility with personal details like finger size and strength, body geometry, and other factors that can influence playability. This is the difference between an artist, and an imitator. A stream can rise no higher than its source. Wannabe prophets and apostles exploiting the HWA mold should ponder that deeply.


Allen C. Dexter said...


Well, Anonymous, whoever you are, at least you've gotten there. Now, you can make some real progress.

Anonymous said...

He's not imitating Gerald Waterhouse, though the comparison is funny...

He's just being the "Boob" that he is!

When he chooses not to deal with background noises or crooked bookcases, etc., he naturally has more time to drone on and on and on about the delusions he believes the "Holy Double Shit! Spirit" has imbued him with.

Anonymous said...

Seriously, Dude. Why do you have to make it so that those of us who are Christian have to read your blasphemies of God the Holy Spirit? if that's what gets your rocks off, I feel sorry for you.

Anonymous said...

All the Christian Gods say that sarcasm is bad!

It may hurt the tender parts of Baby Christians.

Anonymous said...

It ain't just sarcasm, Jazzbeaux.

Atheist means without God. Agnostic means don't know. Theres a good chance that either, when presented with proof, will be governed by logic and accept the inevitable.

Only a totally unhinged anti theist would deliberately and in advance do the very thing that the Bible says will leave you unforgiven .

If nothing else, you are committed, but what more could you contribute that even matters? Were I you, I'd be praying that the sacred names people are right, and that stuff only counts as worship or blasphemy if you use the original Hebrew names for the elements of God.

Anonymous said...

Someone's got their panties in a twist!

What I'm hearing is the same old "You'll be in for a surprise..." (ala Tom Mahon, etc.), and the tired old obligatory "God will get you for that!"

That stuff ran out of steam many years ago, while the value of reason has risen.

Anonymous said...

No, Just sayin' you don't even care about [[what if]], kind of making yourself into the atheist version of Tom. And, you like to fu<k with peoples heads, exposing readers you don't even know to blasphemy. Probably someone everyone avoids in real life, the unruly kid in class that never grew up.