Thursday, February 5, 2015

Elijah Dave Pack Now Possesses Extraordinary Powers!

Elijah Dave Pack has always been a boastful person.  His track record through college and three failed churches have revealed that appalling tendency to scores of people.

Listening to and reading Elijah Dave's utterances over the last several years also brings that into the forefront.  Elijah Dave leads the worlds most superfantabulous Church of God EVER!  He produces the worlds most superfantabulous web site EVER to exist in Christendom that is filled with the most Godly information EVER gathered in one place.  Elijah Dave is the worlds most superfantabulous prophet EVER!  Elijah Dave knows MORE than any other man in human history.  The list can go on and on.

This little tidbit is from Sermon 2 now reveals that Elijah Dave is the most powerful man EVER!  Will he soon be resurrection people?  Calling down fire upon his detractors? Will the lame walk, the deaf hear and the blind see?

Sermon 2  Around 1:05:00
"And, because I believe I will receive extraordinary power brethren, I'll just say that now... and in many ways I already have..."


Connie Schmidt said...

Remember the old opening to Superman back in the old 1950s TV series?? Revised for 2015 for SUPER DAVE!...

A Mind Racing Faster than a speeding bullet! ...

A More powerful ulterior motive! ...

Able to build tall buildings on borrowed ground!

("Look! Up in the sky!" "It's a bird!" "It's a plane!" "It's Super Dave!")...

Yes, it's Super Dave ...

Strange visitor from another reality, who came to Earth with crazy delusions, far beyond those of mortal men!

Super Dave ... who can change the course of rational people, bend minds in his sick clan, and who, disguised as Davey Pack, bad mannered reporter for a dying cult, fights a never-ending battle AGAINST truth, justice, and the American way!

And now, another exciting episode, in the Adventures of Super Dave! ...

Lake of Fire Church of God said...

A fair question to ask: Who is more delusional - Dave Pack or tax cheat Ron Weinland?

Dave thinks he's Elijah; Ron thinks he's one of the two witnesses from the book of Revelation; and Bob Thiel is mad that no one from LCG recognized him as a Prophet and can't make up his mind whether he is a prophet or a Pastor General of his own ACOG franchise.

Are these people losing it?


Byker Bob said...

Now may be a good time for everyone to Google "schizotypal personality disorder".

It is left to the individual reader to discern between Elijah status and SPD.

Is it a place of safety, or a Kool Aid fest? Better be sure!


Anonymous said...

At least when Robert Taylor shares similar things with us, he recognizes them as, and describes them as an affliction.

~Miguel de la Rodente

James said...

Is Dave part of the Klepto Dollar ministry?

Black Ops Mikey said...

Worst social framework ever... since the PKG.

Anonymous said...

"Elijah Dave Pack Now Possesses Extraordinary Powers!"

...of mind bending. He is a real mental contortionist.

The people that David Prick is promising to heal of everything once they are in his Restored Cash Grab (RCG) will find out that they first have to hand over everything they have to him.

Then, after they have done their part, they will find out that David Prick will not--actually cannot--do his part.

Next, David Prick will explain to these gullible and sick old paupers that they were not healed because they lacked faith.

That'll teach them for thinking they can buy God's free gift with money!

Michael said...

By the way, what is this obsession with types in WCG-dom?
On top of all the ignorant theological mish-mash, everything's got to be a latter-day "type" of something.

Anonymous said...

Top 10 List of Outrageous Stupidity Dave Hopes Armstrongites Are Dumb Enough to Believe

We all know that Dave hails from the ranks of the most boastful, pompous, and self-absorbed people, not just in Armstrongism, but in the world. Dictators of small countries, while they might be more blindly ambitious, ruthless, and brutal, have nothing on Dave when it comes to other negative personal attributes.

And yet, at his latest set of claims I stand incredulous, as a man beside himself. The 2015 fundraising campaign of Dave's is already the single most ludicrous, preposterous, absurd, irrational, unreasonable, nonsensical, outlandish, unbelievable, delusional, narcissistic, arrogant, greedy, usurping, egomaniacal, and just plain insane tirade in all of COG history. Aaaaaand HOW many reasons are there why we should accept this insanity as dogmatically true? 130? Is he sure that's enough? (Isn't that just helping to prove my point?)

Without further adieu, here's the current Top 10 List of utterly stupid things that Dave wants everyone to believe about either his corporation or himself personally:

1) "[RCG] is the only place Christ's government can be found." (The Government of God, 2006.)

2) Dave is the only man on earth preaching the "real" gospel.
"But a deceived mankind does not realize that the only true hope for its future is divine intervention. This marvelous hope is going out undiluted from only one place—The Restored Church of God." (2015 Annual "Fruits" Letter.)

3) The bible says everything you have belongs to Dave. You don't own anything.
"It’s absolutely biblical that what we have, we sell, whatsoever we have, we give it to God’s work. That’s why we were called. You’re not allowed to hold on to your own income. It’s all through the gospels, all through the book of Acts, and frankly all through the bible that God’s people have things "in common"....You are not allowed to hold on to your own assets. You have an income, you live a wonderful life, life goes on normally. But if you were called by God and you are to participate in His work and walk in His ways, you have to turn over your assets to God’s church. That’s the pattern." ("First a MOSES, Now ELIJAH—130 Proofs!," January 2015.)

4) "Undeniable" miracles are happening to RCG members left and right, including phantom or accident-proof cars, bouncing bullets, miraculous protection or healing, and multiplying steaks. (Apparently, Dave and I have different definitions of "undeniable.")
"Here is but a small sampling (twenty-one!) of recent powerful healings and stories of protection and deliverance...Take time to read EVERY ONE of these undeniable accounts!" (Annual Open "Fruits" letter, January 2015)


Anonymous said...


5) Dave is a (the one and only, actually) living apostle of Jesus Christ.
"While I have apostolic authority...Yes brethren I hold that office. I do...If the highest office in Restored Church of God is not an apostle, then I was not sent by Christ." ("21st Century Apostle," February 26, 2005.)

6) Jesus must choose the two witnesses from the ranks of RCG. Dave will personally train them and be their direct superior (emphasis on the "superior").
"I state without apology and with God's authority that both of the Two Witnesses will be members of The Restored Church of God. Of this there is no doubt!" (The Government of God, 2006.) "Some day Christ will pick two prophets from this church. It will be obvious who they are. They have to be trained here...The two prophets—all prophets—so said Mr. Armstrong in multiple places—have to report to a living apostle." ("21st Century Apostle," February 26, 2005.)

7) Dave himself was prophesied to arise during the end-times in the Old Testament books of Haggai and Zechariah and is personally spoken of in cryptic language as "Joshua."
"Accept the facts from God’s Word! The honest reader will at least admit that someone fulfills the role of Joshua today. Someone, somewhere—one man—must do this. And realize that this man would (so obviously) be the first to know who he was. Imagine Joshua not knowing he was Joshua. I learned my identity almost four years ago. Haggai’s prophecy means you must learn it now." ("Special Announcement #20," 2013.)

8) Dave holds the title of a symbolic "high priest" (whatever that means.)
"Some will claim I am being self-righteous. I am certainly not claiming to be sin-free. High priests were never perfect. In Leviticus 16, when the high priest went into the Holy of Holies once a year on the Day of Atonement, he had to first offer a bullock for himself. Only then could he offer a sacrifice on behalf of the people. And remember, the modern Joshua is only a symbolic high priest. In the New Testament, only Christ is a literal High Priest." ("Special Announcement #20," 2013.)

9) Dave himself was also prophesied to arise in yet another end-time role by the Old Testament prophet, Malachi! Dave has been cast (obviously by Jesus) in the starring role in one of "the most important prophecies in Scripture," without whose amazingness Jesus "would have to 'smite the earth with utter destruction.'" Cloaked in power, majesty and glory, please welcome to the world stage, ELIJAH DAVE! Yaaaaay!
"Among the most important prophecies in Scripture, Malachi 4:5-6 states that without the end-time Elijah’s arrival, God would 'smite the earth with utter destruction!'" ("Benchmark Sermons," February 2, 2015.) "Without [me] God said he would strike the earth with utter destruction...Now I understand more than ever that God had to look after me in a unique way. I guess he'd have to do that if I were just an apostle..." ("First a MOSES, Now ELIJAH—130 Proofs!," 2015.)


Anonymous said...


10) Dave is not "Elijah" merely in a figurative or symbolic sense, but he is LITERALLY no longer himself: he is now literally channeling the long-dead Old Testament prophet, Elijah! Everything that happened to that Elijah will happen to Dave. He has only stopped short of saying he's a prophet too.
"Elijah was a prophet. So let's ask, and this should be obvious, I'm not bragging...Who has learned and taught more about all of prophecy than any man ever?...In so many ways I have Elijah's own personality...I believe I will receive extraordinary power brethren, I'll just say that now...and in many ways I already have...How did Elijah escape? He was taken up by angels in fiery chariots including fiery horses...we're in a position to see the parallel: So will I be...Elijah went on to live years in secret in an undisclosed location. So will I." ("First a MOSES, Now ELIJAH—130 Proofs!," 2015.)

Aside from the unbelievable fairy-tale nature of his hyperbolic propaganda which stands so starkly at odds with his utter insignificance, the other problem Dave is facing is the unsustainability of it all. Dave's ego is blowing up like Violet Beauregarde turning into a blueberry. His currency is experiencing runaway inflation. By embarking on this path of continually increasing self-aggrandizement, he's made everything dependent upon momentum. At what point does he lose enough momentum that his bubble bursts, and the whole charade comes crashing down? He's already in danger, having lost momentum last year due to his twice-failed prophetic utterances backed up with dozens of meaningless reasons which proved to count for *nothing*.

So my question is, what's the next step for Dave in order to try to keep up his momentum? What's left? How will he manage to outdo himself in his next fundraising campaign? Next year will he declare himself to be both the one and only apostle AND a prophet, or perhaps one of the two witnesses, like Ron Weinland? Or will his next move be another false step, costing him members, revenue, and momentum? Along with Dave and his ego, RCG is becoming increasingly eccentric and fragile. How long will he be able to keep it together?

Byker Bob said...

Announcer: "And, now, directly from a fly on the wall in the Ramirovich household in Toledo, Ohio, for your enlightenment and entertainment we bring you the following eavesdropped conversation:"

Henrietta: Jack, I just don't know about this latest truth that Mr. Pack has been restoring, about all goods being held in common.

Jack: I know, Babe. I know that you've waited a long time to get your teeth fixed, and now, it looks as if the decision to go ahead with that isn't going to even be ours to make!

Henrietta: This is kind of sudden, don't you think? It certainly wasn't part of the program when we signed on. He says members' assets are to be held in common, but in reality, they are all going to go to him.

Jack: I know. Remember, back in 1998, when we were trying to decide where God was actually working? Mr. Pack said that he would never take on grandiose titles, or claim to be a prophet or apostle, and now, just look how things have changed! There was all of the Haggai stuff, and the Joshua stuff a couple of years ago, and now he's claiming to be Elijah! How would we even test and discern something like that? Does God expect us to just take Mr. Pack at his word? Do you think he's going to be raising people from the dead, or is greater authority going to be the only attribute of Elijah's that we ever see?

Henrietta: Well, the problem is, there isn't time to carefully consider all of this! They are going to be pressing us for our assets! What do we do if Mr. Schurter asks us how much equity we have in the house? We can't lie. That would be a sin against God. And if we were to tell him that it is none of his business, we'll be disfellowshipped!

John: Do you think this sort of thing is happening in any of the other groups? Have you heard from the VanAlsteins since they went to COGWA? I've heard that group formed to return to some of the basics.

Henrietta: No. I'm afraid that friendship is broken. No contact. You know what? I hate to say it, but maybe we ought to check for ourselves, try to penetrate the wall of silence, maybe go online?

John: Babe, I am so happy! I was thinking the same thing, but was afraid to say it! There is one site that Mr. Pack has been especially angry about! I think it is called Banned something.

Henrietta: Yes! Banned by HWA! That's it! Let's see what we can learn from those folks!

Announcer: "We can only hope that Mr. Pack's latest changes cause more people to rethink their positions, to continue to prove all things, and to be blessed with the gift of discernment! The Ramirovich's are now on their way. Don't wait until it is too late for you!"


Anonymous said...

Did Elijah Dave give any specifics about the super powers he "in a way" already has?

Michael said...

Anon asked: "Did Elijah Dave give any specifics about the super powers he "in a way" already has?"

Not that I can recall.
Probably he means his super abilities to interpret ancient writings in a way that suits him.^^

old EXPCG hag said...

stupid idiot!

Byker Bob said...

It'd be a more practical to have the "power" to rebuild and tune a Holley four barrel carb, or to program and recurve a Bosch fuel injection system. That's my kind of restoring power!