Thursday, February 5, 2015

Elijah David C Pack: Top 10 List of Outrageous Stupidity Dave Hopes Armstrongites Are Dumb Enough to Believe

Top 10 List of Outrageous Stupidity Dave Hopes Armstrongites Are Dumb Enough to Believe

We all know that Dave hails from the ranks of the most boastful, pompous, and self-absorbed people, not just in Armstrongism, but in the world. Dictators of small countries, while they might be more blindly ambitious, ruthless, and brutal, have nothing on Dave when it comes to other negative personal attributes.

And yet, at his latest set of claims I stand incredulous, as a man beside himself. The 2015 fundraising campaign of Dave's is already the single most ludicrous, preposterous, absurd, irrational, unreasonable, nonsensical, outlandish, unbelievable, delusional, narcissistic, arrogant, greedy, usurping, egomaniacal, and just plain insane tirade in all of COG history. Aaaaaand HOW many reasons are there why we should accept this insanity as dogmatically true? 130? Is he sure that's enough? (Isn't that just helping to prove my point?)

Without further adieu, here's the current Top 10 List of utterly stupid things that Dave wants everyone to believe about either his corporation or himself personally:

1) "[RCG] is the only place Christ's government can be found." (The Government of God, 2006.)

2) Dave is the only man on earth preaching the "real" gospel.
"But a deceived mankind does not realize that the only true hope for its future is divine intervention. This marvelous hope is going out undiluted from only one place—The Restored Church of God." (2015 Annual "Fruits" Letter.)

3) The bible says everything you have belongs to Dave. You don't own anything.
"It’s absolutely biblical that what we have, we sell, whatsoever we have, we give it to God’s work. That’s why we were called. You’re not allowed to hold on to your own income. It’s all through the gospels, all through the book of Acts, and frankly all through the bible that God’s people have things "in common"....You are not allowed to hold on to your own assets. You have an income, you live a wonderful life, life goes on normally. But if you were called by God and you are to participate in His work and walk in His ways, you have to turn over your assets to God’s church. That’s the pattern." ("First a MOSES, Now ELIJAH—130 Proofs!," January 2015.)

4) "Undeniable" miracles are happening to RCG members left and right, including phantom or accident-proof cars, bouncing bullets, miraculous protection or healing, and multiplying steaks. (Apparently, Dave and I have different definitions of "undeniable.")
"Here is but a small sampling (twenty-one!) of recent powerful healings and stories of protection and deliverance...Take time to read EVERY ONE of these undeniable accounts!" (Annual Open "Fruits" letter, January 2015)

5) Dave is a (the one and only, actually) living apostle of Jesus Christ.
"While I have apostolic authority...Yes brethren I hold that office. I do...If the highest office in Restored Church of God is not an apostle, then I was not sent by Christ." ("21st Century Apostle," February 26, 2005.)

6) Jesus must choose the two witnesses from the ranks of RCG. Dave will personally train them and be their direct superior (emphasis on the "superior").
"I state without apology and with God's authority that both of the Two Witnesses will be members of The Restored Church of God. Of this there is no doubt!" (The Government of God, 2006.) "Some day Christ will pick two prophets from this church. It will be obvious who they are. They have to be trained here...The two prophets—all prophets—so said Mr. Armstrong in multiple places—have to report to a living apostle." ("21st Century Apostle," February 26, 2005.)

7) Dave himself was prophesied to arise during the end-times in the Old Testament books of Haggai and Zechariah and is personally spoken of in cryptic language as "Joshua."
"Accept the facts from God’s Word! The honest reader will at least admit that someone fulfills the role of Joshua today. Someone, somewhere—one man—must do this. And realize that this man would (so obviously) be the first to know who he was. Imagine Joshua not knowing he was Joshua. I learned my identity almost four years ago. Haggai’s prophecy means you must learn it now." ("Special Announcement #20," 2013.)

8) Dave holds the title of a symbolic "high priest" (whatever that means.)
"Some will claim I am being self-righteous. I am certainly not claiming to be sin-free. High priests were never perfect. In Leviticus 16, when the high priest went into the Holy of Holies once a year on the Day of Atonement, he had to first offer a bullock for himself. Only then could he offer a sacrifice on behalf of the people. And remember, the modern Joshua is only a symbolic high priest. In the New Testament, only Christ is a literal High Priest." ("Special Announcement #20," 2013.)

9) Dave himself was also prophesied to arise in yet another end-time role by the Old Testament prophet, Malachi! Dave has been cast (obviously by Jesus) in the starring role in one of "the most important prophecies in Scripture," without whose amazingness Jesus "would have to 'smite the earth with utter destruction.'" Cloaked in power, majesty and glory, please welcome to the world stage, ELIJAH DAVE! Yaaaaay!
"Among the most important prophecies in Scripture, Malachi 4:5-6 states that without the end-time Elijah’s arrival, God would 'smite the earth with utter destruction!'" ("Benchmark Sermons," February 2, 2015.) "Without [me] God said he would strike the earth with utter destruction...Now I understand more than ever that God had to look after me in a unique way. I guess he'd have to do that if I were just an apostle..." ("First a MOSES, Now ELIJAH—130 Proofs!," 2015.)
10) Dave is not "Elijah" merely in a figurative or symbolic sense, but he is LITERALLY no longer himself: he is now literally channeling the long-dead Old Testament prophet, Elijah! Everything that happened to that Elijah will happen to Dave. He has only stopped short of saying he's a prophet too.
"Elijah was a prophet. So let's ask, and this should be obvious, I'm not bragging...Who has learned and taught more about all of prophecy than any man ever?...In so many ways I have Elijah's own personality...I believe I will receive extraordinary power brethren, I'll just say that now...and in many ways I already have...How did Elijah escape? He was taken up by angels in fiery chariots including fiery horses...we're in a position to see the parallel: So will I be...Elijah went on to live years in secret in an undisclosed location. So will I." ("First a MOSES, Now ELIJAH—130 Proofs!," 2015.)

Aside from the unbelievable fairy-tale nature of his hyperbolic propaganda which stands so starkly at odds with his utter insignificance, the other problem Dave is facing is the unsustainability of it all. Dave's ego is blowing up like Violet Beauregarde turning into a blueberry. His currency is experiencing runaway inflation. By embarking on this path of continually increasing self-aggrandizement, he's made everything dependent upon momentum. At what point does he lose enough momentum that his bubble bursts, and the whole charade comes crashing down? He's already in danger, having lost momentum last year due to his twice-failed prophetic utterances backed up with dozens of meaningless reasons which proved to count for *nothing*.

So my question is, what's the next step for Dave in order to try to keep up his momentum? What's left? How will he manage to outdo himself in his next fundraising campaign? Next year will he declare himself to be both the one and only apostle AND a prophet, or perhaps one of the two witnesses, like Ron Weinland? Or will his next move be another false step, costing him members, revenue, and momentum? Along with Dave and his ego, RCG is becoming increasingly eccentric and fragile. How long will he be able to keep it together?


Anonymous said...

He will take as much money as he can, and go and hide. He just explained his plan, he will live in solitude like Elijah did. And will believe it is actually Gods work. Will he have witnesses to his departure? It seems likely.... What will they say?

Anonymous said...

Elijah went on to live years in secret in an undisclosed location. So will I.

This is the key, and leads me to believe that Dave may be a deliberate con artist after all.

At some point soon, watch for Dave to record a farewell message to his flock, announcing that, like Elijah, he is going into hiding for a prophesied time. He will then abscond with RCG assets (probably selling HQ to be used as a business park), and leave just one final demand: "Brethren, there is only one way to show that you are with God during this famine of the word. You must SEND IT ALL IN to my accountant, who is the only other person on this planet who will be able to deposit funds into the accounts I control. Do this, and you may be taken to a place of safety when the time comes. Keep it for yourself, and be ready to endure the Great Tribulation. Your choice."

Unfortunately, he'll undoubtedly have a few deceived families supporting him in his new secret lifestyle. But at least he won't need to keep up the facade of ACOG leader any more,

Michael said...

Anon said: "At some point soon, watch for Dave to record a farewell message to his flock, announcing that, like Elijah, he is going into hiding for a prophesied time. He will then abscond with RCG assets"

That sounds about right to me, too.
Sounds alot like he's laying the groundwork for something like that.

Or maybe he's just hopelessly self-deluded beyond all description.

Black Ops Mikey said...

By this time, the blame for staying in the RCG falls squarely upon the membership and there is absolutely no excuse for them any longer.

Connie Schmidt said...

Pack is acting extremely desperate, and it is obvious that "time is of the essence" and the clock is ticking.

It could be that he has mortgaged himself into a corner with his building projects and the like, and with a loss of membership is facing a severe cutback potential...

OR, I can't help but wonder whether or not he is suffering from some kind of terminal long term chronic health issue, and that his days are numbered.

His media outreach of "THE WORD" network , at 2 o'clock in the morning, will produce very little if anything. THE WORD network with more than 50% of the ministries being somewhat charismatic Black preachers, is a weird fit for the very lilly white Pack and RCG and its ultra right wing approach. Bad time slot, along with a demographic that will not respond to Pack.

Regardless, Pack is acting like a desperate man with time running out.

Anonymous said...

"His media outreach of "THE WORD" network , at 2 o'clock in the morning, will produce very little if anything. THE WORD network with more than 50% of the ministries being somewhat charismatic Black preachers, is a weird fit for the very lilly white Pack and RCG and its ultra right wing approach. Bad time slot, along with a demographic that will not respond to Pack."

Somehow, I wonder if ACOG media outreach is expected to produce anything. I think these guys, Elijah Dave included, know that if they want to be taken seriously by their HWA-worshiping followers, then they need to be seen "preaching" via a media "work." It's simply necessary to credibly maintain a certain identity with the followers you already have. If it produces a response, and new followers, so much the better. But whether it produces a response or not is beside the point. That's my sense of it at least.

The exception to this might be UCG, who seems to be actually concerned that their coming-up-on-20-years-in-a-row of investments in media outreach with multimillion annual budgets (I believe it's about 40% of their operating budget) has produced nothing. It would have been easier to have simply lit that money on fire.

Anonymous said...

If Dave Pack takes additional titles for himself of a prophet and one of the two witnesses next year, how many reasons will he "need" to back it up with?

Blog Pool! Let's do it jellybean style. $20 gets you in. The one who guesses closest to the actual number of "proofs" that he is also a prophet and one of the two witnesses wins the pot.

Here's my $20. My guess is he'll need 250 reasons.

Anonymous said...

"I'm not bragging..."

Oh. Well, it's a good thing you happened mentioned that, because otherwise, yaknow, some people might have come to the wrong conclusion.

What a dork.

Byker Bob said...

When I had first heard of the stricter splinters, I felt that somehow at some point, they would probably come up with justification for some more illegal tithes, like maybe 4th and 5th. Nobody new is buying into their false theology, so the only tools for growth are poaching members from other groups, or squeezing current members dry. I just never thought anyone would be so Rehoboam like that he'd proclaim that it all belonged to him!

There comes a breaking point eventually. If Dave hasn't reached it with his Elijah Communism new truths, he'll certainly reach it in his next cycle of delusions.


old EXPCG hag said...

stupid idiot!

Mark Wolfe said...

From its inception, the RCG has been all about Dave. It originated as the natural evolution of Dave not being able to get along with anyone in the other groups. Couple this with Dave's insatiable ambition and you get the Elijah leading the church. Hindsight being 20/20, it was all fairly predictable.

Dr. Lochner, who traveled with HWA during his jet-setting years revealed that Armstrong admitted to not being an apostle. He made it up to keep control of the people in the Church.

In the end, with these leaders, it comes down to that. I feel badly for the people in the church, because they are genuinely looking for some meaning, for something greater than themselves and to have people with a lot of ambition come along and use them for personal gain or a title to feed their vanity-----is really difficult to watch. And the cycle keeps repeating itself over and over and over.

When you think about it, what a great gig to have as an apostle/Joshua/Elijah. You can manipulate the scriptures to reveal anything you want it to reveal. And a member has to accept it as gospel because the leader has set himself up as the sole revealer of truth. And if you do not agree you are labeled as one without the Holy Spirit.

It all sets up very nicely for that leader. Which leads me to believe that Dave has been secretly coveting these positions all along.

I do know from being in his church, and reading his autobiography and listening to his sermons that he has an obsession with the other groups----especially the relatively successful ones. It seems as if he has been copying the likes of Gerald Flurry, Rod Meredith and Ron Weinland all along as a template to secure a following.

He comes as a loving leader who is concerned about the eternal fate of all of these brethren. Says he believes they are deceived by evil leaders----then he does EXACTLY what they do.

Many from the PCG came to RCG and left very quickly. They saw the exact same man and the exact same organization.

The next step for Dave will be proclaiming that Jesus Christ has returned----and it is he.

Minimalist said...

Some great analysis of ACOG's most fascinating, entertaining, and wacko splinter here in the original post & comments!

Yes, a program at 2 o'clock in the morning on the Wacko WORD network - totally ineffective! And then he brags about the new exciting You-Tube 'channel' (you mean lost amongst Prophet Theil and the Babel of 400 million other Jesus Freaks?)

lorna said...

A delusion of grandeur is the fixed false belief that one possesses superior qualities such as genius, fame, omnipotence or wealth. It is often a symptom of schizophrenia or bipolar disorder as well as dementia (as in alzheimer). from the Encyclopedia of Psychology

EX-RCG said...

Hey Pack:

Show me in the scriptures where either the Elijah of the OT or John The Baptist ever had their own churches?

Let's be consistent with scripture and not your your new story line.

Anonymous said...

He sure has interfered with my family life. The things he says! Tells my husband that the church family is more important to be with than his real family. And so much money! We need that money, it is demanding and expecting too much. I hope that you are right and he is about to run away and that his church shuts down. Then my husband will see that Mr. Pack is not an apostle or profit, but see him for what I think he really is, a liar and cheat. Go away in the fiery chariot Mr. Pack and stay in seclusion, may our life can be positive again.

Anonymous said...

Oompa Loompa boom-pa-behave
I have the perfect puzzle for Dave
Oompa Loompa doom-pa-da-dee
If he is wise, he'll listen to me

What do you get when you bully and beg
Your members for their entire nest egg?
Taking their money is wrong and a sin
You should be told to sit and spin.

World's smallest violin!

Oompa Loompa doom-pa-dee-da
If you're not greedy, you will go far
You will live in happiness too
Like the Oompa Loompa doom-pa-dee-do!

Oompa Loompa boom-pa-behave
I have another puzzle for Dave
Oompa Loompa doom-pa-da-dee
If he is wise, he'll listen to me

What do you get when you say such dumb things
In hopes others swallow misunderstandings?
Not an apostle, you're not a high priest
You're not "Elijah" in the least.

Just so your flock can be fleeced!

Oompa, Loompa, doom-pa-dee-da
Given good manners, you will go far
You will live in happiness too
Like the Oompa Loompa doom-pa-dee-do!

Michael said...

Hey, it's battle of the endtime prophets!! Place your bets quickly!

From the recently posted article: "The Ezekiel Watchman" (by Gerald Flurry)

"Verse 33 reveals that there is a modern-day Ezekiel watchman on the scene who is a watchman and a prophet. ... Even Mr. Armstrong, though he was a watchman in a general way, did not specifically fulfill Ezekiel 33 because he could not see the sword as this man can today. This individual comes at the “last end.” He is called a prophet in Ezekiel 33:33 and a watchman in verse 7. ... He is not here to restore all things. That has been done by Mr. Armstrong.... Who is this watchman—this prophet? Haven’t I given you revelation about Ezekiel and all the prophetic books? Almost every book and booklet I have written is filled with revealed prophecy. Has anyone else done that? Is revealed prophecy present in any of the Laodicean churches? Do they even have a smattering of the new revelation that God has rained down on His people through me? How many true prophets are there on Earth today? Only one."

A plot worthy of Lord of the Flies.
Pack: "I'm the bigwig endtime prophet, Haggai, no wait, Joshua, no, hang on, Elijah! Yes, Elijah I am. Look at me! I'm restoring all things! I'm the one."
Flurry: "No, look at me, I'm the endtime prophet, 'that' prophet! Proof is I've everything I write about myself, I claim to be true, see I'm a prophet! I'm raining down revelation from God! I'm the one, not Pack!"

Holy megalomania, Batman!

Byker Bob said...

Holy megalomania is right! I cannot fathom what would make a believer in God claim similarity to the most celebrated, exemplary characters from the Bible. If you think about that one long enough, you can't help but feel embarrassed for anyone who would be so pretentious and presumptuous as to do that. Aspire to be Christ-like? Yes! Do that for sure. But these guys are perverting that concept, and attempting to embellish the supposed scope of their own authority by their claims to being Moses, King David, Elijah, Elisha, Joshua, or one of the apostles. It is a cheap power grab, with nothing substantive to back it up.

I've called myself "Jepthah" from time to time, but regardless of his obvious big flaw, even Jepthah did so much more than most of us could ever hope to do in our life times.


Black Ops Mikey said...

You know, there's one title that Davey boy needs to claim -- a title and position of power that will finally evoke the respect he deserves:

Satan the Devil.

Go for it Dave!