Thursday, April 9, 2015

Doubly Blessed Apostle Says CA Drought Happening Because of Gay Marriage

The resident idiot of the Church of God and one of its Chief Pharisees is back blathering on how the gays are causing the drought in California.

Chief Overseer, Prophet, Apostle, Mayan authority, world renown authority on prophecy, and Living Church of God apostate, Bob Thiel declares that the current drought that California is facing might be caused by all those happy gays wanting to get married.

The Doubly Blessed Prophet uses as his source World News Daily....

Drought and weather issues: Any relationship to the homosexual agenda?

 “Should the court require the states and the people to ‘ritualize’ sodomite behavior by government issuance of a state marriage license, it could bring God’s judgment on the nation,” the brief warns. “Holy Scripture attests that homosexual behavior and other sexual perversions violate the law of the land, and when the land is ‘defiled,’ the people have been cast out of their homes.” WND

The homosexual agenda has a cost.  I believe that the USA is experiencing part of that cost now. That is why I put the California weather item and the homosexual warning article next to each other.
Does that mean it is not possible for the drought to end?

No, but I do believe that the acceptance of the homosexual agenda affects weather as that is taught in the Bible.
Partially because of events leading up to ‘the time of Jacob’s trouble’ (Jeremiah 30:7), many events will hit the USA and its Anglo-Saxon descended allies harder than they have.  The odd weather patterns we have seen may well be part of the ‘beginning of sorrows’ and ‘troubles’ Jesus spoke of in Mark 13:8.
Apparently all the fornicators, adulterers, drug addicts, pork eaters, mixed fabric wearers, shrimp aficionado's and alcoholics in the Church of God are not part of the problem.  They get a free pass for the typical scape goat of the Armstrongites.

Since the Doubly Blessed Prophet quoted the dubious WND as a news source, perhaps he might check out this informative site:  Gay Marriage Chemtrails are Causing the California Drought


Anonymous said...

Which would offend God more: Drug abuse, embezzlement, theft, smoking and homosexual conduct among the Satan-deceived masses who aren't even being called yet, or such conduct among the "royal family" of the leader God is using to lead His end-time church?

Anonymous said...

"Holy Scripture attests that homosexual behavior and other sexual perversions violate the law of the land, and when the land is ‘defiled,’ the people have been cast out of their homes." WND

He uses WND because that's the news outlet their god uses. No, not Herbie, their other god.

So, how does drought "cast people out of their homes"? Maybe they're thinking of the Morgage Derivative Financial Implosion? That actually "cast people out of their homes." However, I think economists understand that one *completely* unlike chaotic weather systems, so nobody is saying that was caused by the "homosexual agenda," because they don't want to look like an idiot. Oh, wait, since when did saying that gay butsecks not make someone look like an idiot? And since when was not looking like idiots "in the eyes of 'the world'" a high priority for ACOG preachers?

"Apparently all the fornicators, adulterers, drug addicts, pork eaters, mixed fabric wearers, shrimp aficionado's and alcoholics in the Church of God are not part of the problem."

Oh yeah, and you forgot about the pedophiles, sabbath-breakers, usurers (the banking industry), blasphemers...oh yes, and the murder rate... none of which are part of the problem? Only gay butsecks?

Jesus H. Christ these people are stupid.

Byker Bob said...

Paraphrasing the King of Siam, "This Dr. Thiel is most unscientific!"

As I understand it, the rate of homosexuality in the general population has remained at pretty much a constant throughout history, not only amongst humans, but also within the animal kingdom. Have there been occasional spikes? Possibly. Didn't a lot of kids get curious and try it when David Bowie was at the apex of his career? Doesn't a high rate of incarceration mean that more people get exposed to it?

How would you prove a spiritual correlation between same sex relationships and the weather? Really, such a causal relationship is just a function of a fundamentalist's imagination. If God punished in real time for every sin or abomination, wouldn't He be more inclined to target the punishment with surgical precision directly to the offenders? So they would get the point?

Yes! In order for punishment to be effective, the specific reason for it must be known to the offender. Nebulous, wide scale occurrences, like a drought, lend themselves to wide interpretation. Most people today would attribute weird weather patterns to pollution and global warming, not somebody's sexual activity. People can actually discern that they need to minimize their carbon footprint, but who would make the other connection? Only a Bob Thiel type.


Connie Schmidt said...

According to the "Missing Dimension", it was masturbating that was an evil of all evils.

Is it possible that someone in California is masturbating and this is what is bringing all the curses upon that individual state?

We need answers Bob Thiel!

Black Ops Mikey said...

It's more likely California is being punished with drought because of the violence of the Armstrongist Churches of God.

II Samuel 21:1.

Those who honor the false prophet shall have the reward of the false prophet.

Anonymous said...

Bitter Bob's weak God is still "trying" to get everyone's attention on these topics it seems powerless to enforce or inflict on humans

Retired Prof said...

Connie, the cure for masturbation has long been known. It was promoted by John Harvey Kellog near the turn of the 20th century. His idea has now fallen into decline, with the disastrous consequences we see all around us now on both the state, national, and global level (on the one hand) and the personal level (on the other.) On the grand scale, masturbation indeed leads to drouths, floods, earthquakes, landslides, tornadoes, hurricanes, volcanoes, blizzards, tsunamis, famines, ebola, AIDS, malaria, traffic pileups on the Interstate, gypsy moth irruptions, corn root worm infestations, and slugs on your tomato plants. On a personal level, masturbation saps your strength--physical and intellectual strength as well as moral.

The cause, as Mr. Kellogg saw it, was the stimulation of the libido by rich diets. Remember, friends and brethren, the belly is adjacent to the loins. Fire up the belly with spicy foods, you inflame the loins. Give the one a taste of red meat, the other also begs for flesh.

The solution? A strict vegetarian diet, the blander the better, heavy on whole grains. That's what's required to smother the fires of lust. It was with that thought in mind that Kellogg invented corn flakes. He felt certain his invention would help tamp down the rising epidemic of self-abuse (and interpersonal lechery as well) sweeping across America in the late 1800s.

Probably you doubt this theory, and you should. Skepticism is always the wise approach to new ideas. But I think there must be something to this one. I'll tell you why.

Visualize this scene. A couple go out to a fancy restaurant for a nice candlelit supper. You know what they have in mind. They're hoping the romantic atmosphere and the heady wine and the rich spicy food will fan the concupiscent flame, which they expect will heighten their enthusiasm for the pelvic encounter they anticipate later in the evening.

Now let me ask you this. Did you ever hear of a couple in those circumstances ordering cornflakes?

That's what I thought. I rest my case.

Anonymous said...

Why assume that the problem is just with one particular abomination and that all the rest do not matter?

If the drought in California is punishment from God, my guess would have been that Hollywood is to blame for it. Hollywood conveniently sums up everything that is wrong and bad in the world. It always deliberately tries to do the opposite of everything that is right and good. Then it even tries to say that evil is good and that good is evil.

Can I guarantee that the drought will stop if the people of the state of California do the right thing and stone to death everyone in Hollywood? No, of course not! But, if the drought continues to intensify, it might be worth a try anyway. You never know until you try, right?

The wider problem is all the people in California who love Hollywood and all the numerous abominations that it teaches. They will have to suffer for their sins too. Soon, no more artichokes for them (about 99% grown in the USA are from CA). Now, maybe that does not scare them, or maybe they are even glad to hear it. But, just wait until the good foods are gone too, like the mashed potatoes and roast beef!

Anonymous said...

Rod Meredith knows the cure for masturbation. He is sinless and has never jerked off.

Anonymous said...

Gay chemtrails....I love it! Maybe that's what is causing Rod Meredith so much anxiety.

R.L. said...

We're about to mark 80 years since the "Black Sunday" dust cloud which started in Oklahoma and spread across much of the eastern U.S.

Would Dr. Thiel dare say homosexuality the real reason for the Dust Bowl of the 1930s?

Considering I don't think it was even an issue then, what WAS the reason for that?

Black Ops Mikey said...

As long as Armstrongists believe in superstition and reject science, we can't help them.

Anonymous said...

And while we're on the topic of masturbation, what were all those pharisaical judaizing rituals we used to go through about if not masturbation (pointless motion). So much effort expended to get them "right" and get them "perfect."

Having to clean every year to a deadline, but not for dirt, for bread crumbs? And it's supposed to be done soooooooooooOOOOOO PeRfEcT? What a pointless exercise that was. Besides, now when I clean, I can clean for the right reasons, and since there's no deadline, my cleaning can take any form I want, including fixing up the place! And if it takes all year, who cares? Or if I don't get to it all, who cares? I don't have to detail my car at the same time I'm fixing up the house!

All that time wasted listening to blowhards wax less-than-elegant on sabbaths and twice on holy days. All that money wasted on vacations spent mostly indoors.

So glad I don't have to try to be a pharisee anymore.

James said...

I only recall the god of the bible saying that he hates lying false prophets. Where did the guru go wrong?

Anonymous said...

Just going to church was circle jerk. We all say around and watched some minister pull his little pud and make a big deal out of an opinion he had, and that with gods backing of course.

Black Ops Mikey said...


The Bible clearly says that God makes it rain on the just and on the unjust.

The better explanation is that it is part of a weather cycle AND a gross mismanagement of resources.

Jesús Christopher de la Cruz said...

"The odd weather patterns we have seen may well be part of the ‘beginning of sorrows’ and ‘troubles’ Jesus spoke of in Mark 13:8."

Love how Profit Bob likes to hedge.

If the weather patterns are odd, which I'm not satisfied they are, still, they might NOT be part of the ‘beginning of sorrows’ and ‘troubles’ Jesus spoke of in Mark 13:8. I know, we're not supposed to consider that, are we...

Everything just makes so much more sense when you recognize the human proclivity for overactive agency detection. There's no storm-god-Jesus hammering the clouds.