In a couple of weeks, details escape me at the moment, there will be a Ambassador College Reunion held in Las Vegas. I assume what happens in Las Vegas won't stay in Las Vegas with regards to this blog, nor should it. Attendees at the reunion are asked to drop the church talk and just enjoy seeing old friends again. I like that. As an add on to the reunion and probably not for the faint hearted is an additional last day sponsored by the original authors of Ambassador Report. This event is completely separate from the reunion and will cover the how and why of Ambassador Report back in the day.
Ambassador Report was the bane of the ministry including my own in my days of naive belief in the message of WCG and by extension, my part in it. I thought it was where I was supposed to be and as corny as it might sound, felt "called" to the ministry for personal family reasons going back to some things my dad told me years after the facts. Nuther story.
I spent many a day and night getting hammered by members who received their copies in the mail. I got my own of course compliments of someone and promptly threw them out. Denial truly is not just a river in Egypt. It was a most confusing time for me personally as a very new minister and pastor in Chicago and then Ohio during the 70's when the corpulites hit the roting wind machine. Between the demise of GTA, the Receivership ("Not many Wisemen now are called" for those who understand) and the Tkaches, Ambassador Report was causing me personally unending stress and conflict of mind.
It was like having molasses on one hand and feathers in the other, smacking them together and then being told to pick out the feathers. Not possible. What a mess.
I recall knowing that the 60 Minutes expose' with Stan Rader etc was coming on Sunday night and I made a point to be out visiting to just keep it off my dreading mind. Of course the phone rang off the hook all Sunday night.
In the hind site of age, change , drama and trama along with dis-illusionment mixed with not a small amount of anger at both myself for being so stupid and naive and those over me who seemed even more stupid and naive or just lying to me, was killing me with anxiety and depression while having to wear the faithful minister mask. My own brother in law, as pastor, who stayed with WCG thru it's change to GCI died of the disease his son said was actually his broken heart over how it all went. He was a very sincere and well loved guy. He gave up the love of his life career, forest ranger in Idaho , to go to AC. I know he regretted that .
Weeks ago, I determined not to go to Vegas for the Ambassador Report portion. I might could do the reunion but time is money for me in my practice and no one pays me for being gone etc. I also got to thinking about what's really good for me personally. Forgo it for the sake of moving on and not having all my past anxieties and memories about those days stirred up, or go face them and learn the story behind the story? There are men who I would love to meet and only know because of correspondence or through BannedHWA and they have expressed a desire to meet. Would it be "fun" or ignite personal issues once again? Would it bring more closure or resurrect unnecessary memories and issues once again?
Currently I am content with my simple life here in beautiful Portland. Simple living , a career where I still work 5 days a week , 40 hours being the caretaker I am and earning every last penny honestly without criticism. I can sit quietly with my 4.5 Billion year old meteorites that were around before the moon formed or there was life of any kind on earth and appreciate what is actually true as opposed to what I naively was led to believe in my youth. It's nice to not even mind being stardust with consciousness studying itself . :) Do I want to risk that banging my head on the table in Las Vegas?
We all handle our experience with WCG and all that occurred and followed differently. At this point I am opting to pass on Vegas for all the above reasons for me personally. I admire those men who took it on back in the day to confront the Armstrongs and WCG excesses at the top and problems with ministers and churches. I wish I had helped them then but I was not the man then I am now. I never thought WCG had a proper vetting process to put a truly caretaking , balanced and teaching type personality into the ministry. ALL the splits, splinters and slivers, Gerald Flurrys, Dave Packs , Bob Thiels, Rod Merediths, James Malms and countless horribly informed men who claim to be theologians is the end result of that and our lunatic entertainment here on Banned.
Joe Tkach Jr reacted very "ain't going to happen" when I suggested personality testing etc for those going into ministry. It took me a very long time to wake up. I stayed way too long for many reasons. I
I believe I will pass as an exercise in good mental health for me and maybe meet the gang sometime in LA in the future. I would encourage anyone to go if it can bring understanding and closure to your own experience. It's not too late. No2HWA can supply you with all the details I am sure if interested.