Tuesday, October 2, 2012

The Pastor's Ass

The Pastor’s Ass

The Pastor entered his donkey in a race and it won.
The Pastor was so pleased with the donkey that he entered it in the race again and it won again.
The local paper read:

The Bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity that he ordered the Pastor
 not to enter the donkey in another race.
The next day the local paper headline read:

This was too much for the Bishop so he ordered the Pastor to get rid of the donkey.
The Pastor decided to give it to a Nun in a nearby convent.
The local paper, hearing of the news, posted the following headline the next day:

The Bishop fainted.

He informed the Nun that she would have to get rid of the donkey 
so she sold it to a farmer for $10.
The next day the paper read:

This was too much for the Bishop so he ordered the Nun to buy back
the donkey and lead it to the plains where it could run wild.
The next day the headlines read:

The Bishop was buried the next day.

The moral of the story is . . . being concerned about public opinion
can bring you much grief and misery . . even shorten your life.
So be yourself and enjoy life.


Douglas Becker said...

No, the lesson is that you get a nice blanket and cover your....

Anonymous said...

"To learn who rules over you, simply find out whom you are not allowed to criticize." -Voltaire

DennisCDiehl said...

The problem, as I see it in the COG theology is that you have several kinds of Jesus's.

We have the Pauline version...Gnostic, hallucinatory, in Heaven, killed by principalities and powers, crucified in the sky and never really having been on the planet in the flesh. Paul forms all the doctrines of grace, works and sometimes law and sometimes not.

Then we have Revelation Jesus. This boy is a killer, full of vengeance and death. This one will rule with a rod of Iron and will take over as a King on a throne etc. This is not Paul's Jesus in the least.

Finally we have Gospel Jesus. Lover of children, cheek turner and full of compassion and mercy. This is Jesus landed on earth and rooted in time and space unlike Revelation Jesus or Pauline Jesus.

You cannot make these three Jesus characters match or meld into one explainable being or teaching. Trying to do so causes ALL the contradictions and scripture cobbling we see today when one wants to make their point.

They are not one and the same Jesus. They are three very different views smeared into one Book called the New Testament as if they were a real life lived.

Gospel Jesus is hearsay and the Gospels were not written by eyewitnesses. OT scripture was used to cobble the story together because they did not know the real story of his birth, life or death. When Matthew copies 94% of Mark and Luke copies 54% we do not have inspiration. We have copying, editing, redacting and cleaning up along the way.

Paul was the one man show we have grown to detest. It was his way or the highway until they kicked him out of Ephesus and "all Asia."

Revelation, IMHO, is a failed first century prophecy and was never intended to predict 2000 years ahead. It couldn't even get the next seven right when written.

These facts and different Jesus views are the cause of all the various kinds of churches and ideas about what the one true truth is. All have a part, all are wrong to some degree. Some are totally wrong but profitable.

Anonymous said...

you are disgusting to print something so vulgar

Anonymous said...

Anon, you are disgusting to have been in a church so vulgar.