Wednesday, February 20, 2013

Apostle Malm: Intensely Watching Barley in Israel and for A New Moon

Apostle Malm, God's greatest living theologian (after non-ordained false prophet Thiel) is back blowing hot air again on how intensely important the requirement that TRUE Christians will be seeking to find the first ripe grain of barley in a field in Israel and for the first sign of the new moon.

Brian and certain friends in Israel are keeping a sharp eye on the growth of the wild barley, and the crop is now where it should be, to be ready for the Wave Offering and a March Passover.  The chances for a March Passover are now very good.

The next new moon is another difficult one.  In March the new moon is probably [about 85%] visible after sunset the 12th making the 13 the nm day, However  there is a slight chance that it will not be seen at Jerusalem until the following evening of the 13th making the 14th the new moon day.

We are being very careful because this New Moon is expected to set Passover.

Malm is like the Colossian heretics that came in spitting and snarling at the Christian converts because they were not sticking to the many rules and regulations that they deemed important. The Christians were eating and drinking and doing things the diehard law keepers were not happy about.

Apostle Malm is more interested in carefully spending hours and hours sitting there looking for a new moon because he thinks it is a requirement for modern day Christians.  The barley and new moon rank higher than the Jesus Christ he knows not.  Old Testament festivals patterned after neighboring pagan rites are far more important than following the example Jesus set.


Joe Moeller said...

The fountain in front of the auditorium is in full eruption...

The G3 jet is screaming overhead...

Big Beak is prancing in the background...

The Young Ambassadors, complete with guys in tight spandex pants, and girls in prairie dressing are enthusiastically singing...

When the moon is in the seventh house
And Jupiter aligns with Mars
Then peace will guide the planets
And love will steer the stars
This is the dawning of the age
Of a Aquarius, the age of Aquarius
Aquarius, Aquarius
Harmony and understanding
Sympathy and trust abounding
No more falsehoods or derisions
Golden living dreams of visions
Mystic crystal revelation
And the minds true liberation
Aquarius, Aquarius...

Joe Moeller
Cody, WY

Byker Bob said...

Why doesn't he just move to Jerusalem?


Joe Moeller said...

Sounds like someone could make a living charging money for a live "webcam" for both the sky and a barley field in Jerusalem.



Joe Moeller
Cody, WY

Head Usher said...

Mark 7:2 And when they saw some of his disciples eat bread with defiled, that is to say, with unwashed, hands, they found fault. 3 For the Pharisees, and all the Jews, except they wash their hands often, eat not, holding to the tradition of the elders. 4 And [when they come] from the market, except they wash, they eat not. And many other things there be, which they have received to hold, as the washing of cups, and pots, brazen vessels, and of tables.

This is practically a description of Malm. He's really much more Jewish than he is christian. For Jews, it's all about Torah (law). Practically all of Mishnah is just one super long riff on Torah. The rest of the bible is history, genealogy, poetry, etc. which are cultural treasures and everything, but Torah is the important part. And basically his blog is his own Mishnah: one super long fault-finding riff. If Malm had lived in Jerusalem during the life of jesus (if the gospels are to be believed) he would have been one of those shouting at the Romans to crucify the guy. But since he's living now instead, he's shouting at all those who don't worship the guy, 25/7. I don't see the difference really.

In a comment a long time ago on Malm's silly blog (which he didn't publish, to save himself the awkwardness and embarrassment I guess) I pointed out how according to his rules all "true" christians down through history until the advent of modern global communications, had to live a stone's throw from Jerusalem. That just pokes a huge hole in everything Malm preaches, so it's best to sweep those kinds of things under the proverbial rug. On the whole, I think most people in general in the COGs find that it's best to avoid asking these kinds of questions, or any questions at all.

Anonymous said...

I think most also find it best to prevent anyone else from asking them questions too, which is why everyone either scrubs their blogs clean of any points of view that show how poorly conceived their "truth" is, or else disable comments altogether.

Anonymous said...

I guess this figure-it-out-on-the-fly-because-otherwise-the-deity-might-get-upset calendar is exclusively Malm's barleywick.

Anonymous said...

I'd say that the chance of a March passover is very very good....March 24 at sunset, to be exact.

I'm always amazed that people get all caught up in watching for the new moon and ripe barley in Jerusalem.

Steve Kisack said...

I'm always amazed that they think they have to keep passover.

Douglas Becker said...

There are computer programs for this sort of thing.