Thursday, March 28, 2013

Ron Weinland: My Church is a Tithe of the Tithe of the Tithe of the One Third of the Two Thirds

These past few weeks the Church of God's most favored felon, Ron Weinland, has been writing missives from his prison cell.  In his delusional mind he compares himself to Paul when he too was imprisoned.  Each rant from the jail cell shows a mind that is deteriorating rather quickly.

Today he has a rather long rant about "deliverance from Egypt" that he has sent to his little flock.  His little flock is so little because it is a tithe of the tithe of the tithe of the one third who have remained in a Church of God after what he calls the apostasy.  While 10% may have went into various of the 600 some Churches of God, only the TRUE remnant, a tithe of the tithe, went into his group.

"After the Abomination of Desolation, approximately one-third of the Church remained in the Worldwide Church of God that had then become completely Biblically corrupt (or they accepted the same kind of beliefs of other false churches in traditional Christianity), one-third gave up completely, and one-third went into the various organizations that formed afterward. That last third was to endure further trials, mirroring what God said about Laodicea. Within all this spiritual destruction, God prophesied that a tithe (ten percent) of a third would survive captivity within this end-time destruction and be offered to become His remnant Church that would continue to the very end."
"Yet in the midst of the destruction from this end-time apostasy, God promised to awaken ten percent of a third as a witness of what God was doing, and as a witness of what the scattered Church would do during Laodicea and the time of His final witness. "

"The final third was scattered and eventually formed into over 600 different groups and organizations. Yet these were not shocked into repentance after the apostasy and the same sword went among them as they drifted spiritually into a deeper unrepentant Laodicea attitude. These too fell into complete spiritual sleep. 

All three groups went back into the spiritual captivity of Egypt and became enslaved in spiritual bondage once again. Yet in the midst of this captivity, God promised a remnant protection from the captivity that had so quickly engulfed the Church. Although this small group was promised protection and that they could survive the captivity of the others, they were to be thrust into trials and tested to see who could remain as part of the remnant to the return of Jesus Christ. “You shall also take a few in number and bind them in you wings” (Ez. 5:3). There was special protection and intervention from God for each person who was offered to become part of this remnant."
"God offered protection and survival from captivity to a tithe (ten percent) of a third of all who went into captivity. Once put to the test, all did not hold fast to what God offered them. Although the Church did not understand it through this period of time, we knew that the Church was holding near a count equal to a tithe of the tithe in number (ten percent of the ten percent of a third)."
"God’s promise to ten percent of a third of the physical nations of Israel is His minimum promise to them. The number can be more and it can be less, and it will still fulfill what God has said. The final numbers will be a result of their own response. In the worst of response, as with the result of the Church, God promised He would grant protection and survival to 10% of a third, but 90% rejected it. The physical nations of Israel will have the same choice before them. However, with these nations, God has specifically been working to bring them to the best possible moment and condition that will lend itself to a positive choice and acceptance of His offer. This final number can also be larger, but under all conditions it is God’s minimum promise to offer deliverance to 10% of a third.

Ever since the apostasy, the Church has been experiencing great tribulation, but it is nearly over and physical tribulation is about to begin in this final Day of the Eternal."
In spite of all the above absurdities there are still many in Armstrongism today who claim that the Church is 100%logical and 100% correct in all things.   As the years go by we see more and more COG leaders go off the deep end into "never-never land."


Frank said...

WTH? Armstrongism just seems to get dumber by the day. Just imagine what they will all look like in 5-10 years!

Anonymous said...

Hopefully they will disappear by that time.

Allen C. Dexter said...

Disappear? Except for the Shakers, that has never happened to any far out group and it only happened to them because they didn't reproduce and couldn't attract enough people dumb enough to keep their group going.

Sorry. I'd like to see the stupid madness disappear also, but it isn't about to happen.

Anonymous said...

IF Wcg minister understood Midrash, they would be able to relax and let it go.

Anonymous said...

All cults eventually shrink but never disappear completely, not until Jesus returns.

Painful Truth said...

Ronnies god seems a bit inept. Or maybe its Ron. Is this the beginning of a transformed church? If so, what name can we expect?

The "Geriatric Church of god"
The "Church of god, by the Insane Prophet"
The "Church of god New and Improved"

Anonymous said...

I perfectly understand midrash. Had a bad case of it that lasted for several weeks before it finally cleared up!

gg said...

"In spite of all the above absurdities there are still many in Armstrongism today who claim that the Church is 100%logical and 100% correct in all things. "
It was always absurd and nothing but a bunch of mumbo-jumbo. Too bad most of them were also mean, abusive, extremely close-minded and arrogant. G.G.

Joe Moeller said...

729The formula from Weinland is more complicated than filling out a long form 1040 tax compliance with a couple of schedules attached!

So lets do the math...
One third of 150,000 = 50,000

A tenth of 50,000 = 5,000

A tenth of that = 500

Thus we can conclude that Weinland views his church universe, or "his followers" at around 500.

All this math is giving me a headache (as does Weinland!)

So instead of Biblical math madness, how about some math fun and levity! ...

***Why did the math book look so sad? Because it had so many problems.

***Decimals have a point.

***Why do plants hate math? Because it gives them square roots.

***Have you heard the latest statistics joke? Probably.

***What do you call an empty parrot cage? Polygon.

***Without geometry, life is pointless

Joe Moeller
Cody, WY

Anonymous said...

Jews never tithed with anything but produce. The Jews of today donate money to charities but they do not call it tithing. Tithing stopped a long time ago. COGs can't even get that simple truth right. As far as I'm concerned they are all synagogues of Satan.

Head Usher said...

No Allen, you're right, these groups aren't about to disappear, but eventually no two of the people will be able to tolerate each other, so they will all be on their own, doing their own independent little blog and youtube "work". Each one will be different and put extreme emphasis on a couple of pet doctrines. Each one will also claim to be the one and only true gospel lost for 1900 years until god revealed it directly to the mind of yours truly. But they'll all say that if you want to flee to Petra when the times comes in 3-5 years, subscribe to my youtube channel! In the old days they subscribed with hyssop by putting blood on the doorposts, but I guess god works with the technology that you have. Besides, landlords and homeowner's associations frown on animal sacrifices and don't like it when there's blood around the entrance of your apartment or house.

Come to think of it, it would make a pretty good addition to Showtime's lineup to have a show about the day-to-day existence of a COGer and all the strange hoops they have to jump through. Your typical audience member couldn't imagine anyone seriously living like that, so it would be interpreted as comedy. It would sit nicely in between Californication and Shameless. I already recognize a lot of church member habits in both of those shows already anyway.

So, maybe it isn't about to go away, but it could slowly be transformed into comedy, like Ron and Bob. After all, it started out as comedy anyway, and it would have been funnier way back if there hadn't been so much tragedy in the mix as well. What do you think is the fuel that keeps this blog humming? NO2 just siphons out the comedy.

Anonymous said...

"Disappear? Except for the Shakers, that has never happened to any far out group..."

Tweet: I find that hard to believe.

Anonymous said...

"Too bad most of them were also mean, abusive, extremely close-minded and arrogant."

Tweet: Most of the ones I knew were pretty nice. I think you're exaggerating quite a bit, which makes that a mean, abusive, closed-minded, and arrogant thing to say. Maybe the problem was you.

Anonymous said...

Tweet: Hey people, turn your bullshit detectors on. Then face them inwards.

Anonymous said...

Tweet: Now we see why people were victims of HWA in the first place. Their bullshit detection system was insufficiently developed, and usually still is, which is why they now put too much trust in the corrupt establishment. Please read some web sites or books on critical thinking. We all need more of it!

G.G. said...

To: Anonymous @ 8:00
I didn't't know all the members or ministers. I've never been to a COG. I'm going by what I've read and a little personal contact with some people who are or were members.
Examples: it's mean to separate people from their families and deprive them of spending Christmas, Easter etc with each other. It's mean to not allow celebrations of birthdays, especially for little children. It's abusive to make toddlers and small children sit quietly in long sermons and be hit if they get restless or act like children. It is emotionally abusive to frighten children and vulnerable people with horror stories and terrible pictures of what some old man (Armstrong) imagined to be the end times or apocalypse or whatever it is called. It is abusive to insist on people giving 20% or more of their income so the old man could jet around the world and live in ultra luxury. It was abusive to insist that people leave their spouses if there had been a previous marriage. It is arrogant to believe you have the right to tell women whether or not they can wear make-up. It is super arrogant to say you are an apostle of is extremely close-minded to believe only you or only your church could possibly be right. I'm sure there are/were nice people among the congregations (but beaten-down, abused, brain-washed nice people). The churches of god (COGs) as a whole were not good. They obviously served and continue to serve an emotional function for the people who voluntarily belong but they aren't beneficial in the long run. I especially feel sympathy for the children who had no choice, I could go on but it's all down in writing in books on the Internet over and over in the stories ex-members tell. G.G.

Anonymous said...

I have been in contact with members of a variety of COGs, searching for a true church. They are all nice and very friendly. JWs are also very nice and friendly, perhaps even more so that COG followers. All I can say is they are all synagogues of Satan, wolves in sheep's clothing. As for my search for a true church, there is none here on earth. They are all imperfect to varying degrees, some worse than others. COGs, JWs, Mormons and the like are the worst and there is no question they are misguided cults at best. Best to avoid them like the plague.

Byker Bob said...

Amen, Anonymous! The church is the body of believers in Jesus Christ around the world, and throughout history. "Collectors" get in the act and mess everything up by attempting to superimpose their understanding on the groups that they form. They also often set up criteria and constructs to rule out other sincere Christians.

Best bet is the direct connection. Ask God to walk with you, and then expect His mentoring! Idiocy like gets exposed here grieves the Holy Spirit!


Anonymous said...

"Best bet is the direct connection. Ask God to walk with you, and then expect His mentoring!"

Oh, you mean like the leaders and members in the COG's claim to be doing, with the result that God is "mentoring" them in 360 different directions at once?

Then there's the rest of Christianity - all claiming God's guidance. Bob, all I can say is it must be nice having "the real thing" like you apparently claim to have. Many if not most religious people claim to be guided by a deity, plus a good dose of wishful thinking. What makes you any different?

Anonymous said...

Byker Bob that's exactly what I've done as a result of my search for a perfect church. I found it not here on earth but in the "body of Christ". The Holy Spirit is now my dedicated helper allowing me to grow in God's truth more and more. It's such a wonderful feeling to be at rest with our Lord and saved. It's worth more than all the gold in the Universe.

Anonymous said...

Personally I've found that my invisible little green Leprechaun guides me in my life. There's absolutely no doubt about it that his spirit helps me to see truths unknown to all the rest of you evil unbelievers. And I love the feeling this gives me - just one orgasmic rush of goosebumps and tingling all over my body! EEEWWWW!!!! In my search for the perfect four-leaved clover, I'd be lost if it wasn't for my dear, precious, sweet Leprechaun who loves me and thinks I'm the hottest thing since sliced bread. To know I'm at peace and rest with my Leprechaun, well, oh, oh, here comes the feeling again...EEEEWWWWWWW!!!!!!

Byker Bob said...

I just love to read encouraging comments like the one posted by Anonymous 2:05! Right on, brother or sister! You understand!

However, the comment just above it, by Anonymous 6:53 misses the point of a true spiritual experience. Why? Insertion of a human hierarchy between one's self, and the deity. God is perfectly capable of guiding us to truth in the same manner that one learns from a collection of textbooks and teachers. One precept or concept at a time. I'm always amazed at the questions from people who have only taken the time to get to know me superficially, such as, "So who's your guru now, Bob?" Or, is (insert name here) your guru now?"

We don't need the types of gurus who spoon feed us their own understanding and then measure our spiritual growth by how faithfully we follow them! In addition to regular heart-felt prayer and personal Bible Study, all that is needed is an occasional nugget from someone wiser in the Lord, and more experienced in the Christian walk. The place where aspiring Christians make a mistake is in assuming that since a particular teacher shed a little light, suddenly that person is entitled to our tithes, and obedience, and that we're considered to be a member of his group. Membership in a corporate church group should never take a back seat to membership in the body of Christ. The relationship is with God, Jesus Christ, and the Holy Spirit. Not other humans, though occasionally they can provide an assist.


Anonymous said...

If I could prove to myself with a fair amount of confidence that God, Jesus Christ and the Holy Spirit are real, then yeah, I'd say your right. But I can't. Even though I'd like to. But neither can you. Frankly, I just think some people have more fertile imaginations than others, a better capacity for deluding themselves than others. This seems the best explanation for religious experiences, especially since they are so different depending on the religion one grew up with in the surrounding culture. American's find "Christ" in such imaginary guidance. Indians find "Krishna." Chinese tend toward "Buddha." The reason for this seems more dependent on their culture than any real experience.

Anonymous said...

Anon Said: This seems the best explanation for religious experiences, especially since they are so different depending on the religion one grew up with in the surrounding culture. American's find "Christ" in such imaginary guidance. Indians find "Krishna." Chinese tend toward "Buddha." The reason for this seems more dependent on their culture than any real experience.

My comment: This is an accurate assessment of the psychology of religion. It is in the nature of a human being to seek a greater Thou to fill in the answers to questions regarding life’s beginning and purpose. Today science is searching for these answers, but fails to consider the possibility that intelligence may exist prior to and outside the formation of the universe. Religion personifies intelligence and wisdom making it the THOU that is the source of life. This is the reason the worship and prayer play an important role in all religions. Those who have accepted the reality of a greater Thou will experience a spiritual relationship that influences the physical emotions. If the religion is focused on a wholesome development of the human life it has a positive experience. If it is focused on satiating human lust and greed there is disastrous destruction.
These are some of my personal thoughts.
A. Boocher

Anonymous said...
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Anonymous said...

I just love to read encouraging comments like the one posted by Anonymous 2:05! Right on, brother or sister! You understand! The Mormons totally rock!
They have led me to the Holy Spirit, and now I now have a one-on-one relationship with God.
Others will never understand. God works in mysterious ways. My son now has a one-on-one relationship with God, due to him being miraculously being influenced by Skinheads.

Velvet said...

0/10, Corky, when you troll, no one is supposed to be able to tell who you are. :-)