Wednesday, July 31, 2013

E W King: My "god" is Working Mighty Miracles With Mental Telepathy

E.W. King is all giddy tonight over a miraculous event that happened in his little personality cult.  While he was holding a Bible Study in a small cabin in the mountains, 100 miles away one of his church elders had the same vision!  Woo, spooky!

Of course, King now runs the worlds best COG ever to exist.  Even Dave Pack is in impotent little pussy man compared to E. W. King and his mighty message!!!!!

This telepathic message from his god proves to King that his work is the only true work following his god.  Not Jesus mind you, but some god that likes the law.

It is absolutely AMAZING how in these Latter-days God is again filling His church with spiritual food! God is allowing New Revelations to come through the “open door” [Revelation 3:8; Isaiah 45:1]. Just to give you an example: This week some COGSR members met with me [Mr.E.W.King] and we conducted Bible studies in an upstairs room in a home located in the mountains. One day after, (after the remnant that I was visiting with went back out into this fallen world to live and proclaim the message) I called Elder Paul, who lives far away in another state. He began to inform me that he received a special revelation while in personal study and he wanted to read what he received.

 As he read I was in complete shock! The Scriptures that God showed him and how he was seeing the bigger picture, and “rightly dividing the truth”, completely agreed with the COGSR group that I myself was studying with the night before. Elder Paul received the same message we had and he is over 1000 miles away from us! 

We, the final Remnant of God, are experiencing one miracle after another! We have read in the Scriptures a passage from the prophet Joel which explains that God would feed His chosen people again with spiritual food. While other groups are experiencing a spiritual famine and drought, the true Worldwide Church of God is currently experiencing a DOWN POUR! The Latter-day Watchmen are bringing forth fruit in great abundance and are sharing [proclaiming] it with others. We are and have been inviting all who study with us to share what God is showing them. We are eager to post the revelations on this church site!


Head Usher said...

How does the Amazing Mr. King know that his "revelation" is from his god, and not from the prince of the power of air? How does he know his "spiritual food" isn't unclean?

You know, it would be an even bigger coincidence if there were no coincidences at all. Coincidences don't necessarily mean what you think they mean.

DennisCDiehl said...

The Deity simply has to get off it's butt and start communicating directly with humans. All these "I know what God wants and is doing" types are driving people nuts!

I do understand that the reason why God has not been able to actually get off the Throne and come talk to us is that for the past 2000 years, Jesus has been sitting on his right hand.... :P

Anonymous said...

I recently experienced something similar in MY church, too!

I was speaking on the phone with another member (who is over 1000 miles away from me!) and we BOTH had to fart at the very same time!
(God was allowing New Revelations to come through the “open door” [Revelation 3:8; Isaiah 45:1].)
In fact, by listening intently, I was able to determine that both our farts were of the EXACT same duration, and had the EXACT same pitch, frequency and tone to them!
It was just like looking into a mirror, but backwards and without a mirror.
If "smellaphones" had been invented, I'm sure we could determine that both farts had the same nostrilific quality!
Clearly, it is SATAN THE DEVIL who has thwarted the invention of smellaphones...but I digress...

After out Miracle Farts, we BOTH has to pee at the VERY same time!
The true Worldwide Church of God experienced a DOWN POUR!
It was AMAZING, as us Latter-day Watchmen were bringing forth pee in great abundance and sharing [proclaiming] it with another over the telephone. (I must admit, that in my love for Herbert Armstrong, I held the phone too close to my pee-stream and now it's not working right- all it will dial now is 1-800-423-4444.)

Douglas Becker said...

Shared delusions.

And there's a mental disorder for that!

Byker Bob said...

The race is on as these guys all attempt to qualify for Dave's list of three..........


Anonymous said...

On a somewhat telling side note, I think elder Paul probably makes up a good portion of King's followers. Probably they were in recent contact, so such a "telepathic" event really isn't all that spectacular.

Anonymous said...

"The race is on as these guys all attempt to qualify for Dave's list of three.........."

I doubt it.
The other COG 'leaders' have their own stuff going on, have their own market share of the WCG's disaffected population, and don't give a rat's ass about what Davey says or gets.
Anything "davey" is super low on their list of concerns, if there at all.

Byker Bob said...

Anonymous 5:28, are you saying the leaders of your ACOG practice anal telepathy?

Anonymous said...

Darn tootin', Byker Bob.