Thursday, August 29, 2013

Feast Presents Are Cool - So Here Are Cool Toys For The Feast Though Remember Christ Died For Your Sins Which Is The Best Feast Gift Ever....

I am speechless at the thought process behind this.

I never cease to be amazed at the money making schemes of COG members.  It is based in Cincinnati.  Three guesses it is a UCG person.

All that is missing is The Bible Game and the Talent's Game.

Check this out: Toys For The Feast
- See more at:

Huh?! You Know About the Feast?

Now you may be wondering, how does Coolest Toys know so much about the Feast of Tabernacles? It just so happens that one of our employees, Jason who works in marketing, observes the FOT and brought up with Elliot, the owner, that a lot of feast-goers are looking for cool toys for their children and grand-children (and maybe even for themselves). Jason wrote this:

"So I have some reservations about direct marketing to fellow-feast goers, but I kept getting questioned at Sabbath services about gift recommendations for their family since they knew I worked at Coolest Toys on Earth. They said, "Well Jason, we'll be spending our 2nd tithe somewhere, so it might as well be with you." My family of seven had the tradition to get each person a feast-present, but I know that not everyone does it. Talking to some other friends, they were afraid that if I didn't handle this well, it might denegrate the feast by turning it into the Church of God's version of Xmas. I agreed with them: that would be awful, and resolved that I would keep it suggestions only - so high-pressure selling was out of the question. I try really hard not to hard-sell to anyone, anyway. Since I get the questions no matter what I do, I would get the team to just give cool recommendations if families were in the market. So hopefully, we have the right tone that helps families out, but only if interested. And if I suggested the wrong tone or approach, I hope they find the time to email me with suggestions. Afterall, feast presents are cool - but definitely not necessary. Here in America, God has blessed us beyond belief with riches, awesome feast sites, the truth of God's plan played out in His Holy Days, and the fact that Christ died for our sins. That, by far, is the best feast gift ever." -Jason Nitzberg

We at Coolest Toys hope you have a wonderful time, where ever you find yourself this fall. Hopefully our suggestions were helpful and please, make this the best feast ever.


Byker Bob said...

Sure am glad Jason isn't employed by Trojan or Ramses!


Anonymous said...

Now all we need is a Sports Illustrated Feast Swimsuit Issue and a Playboy Girls at the Feast Issue. I guess the Girls of Winter Family Weekend could just be a feature in the regular January Issue.

Anybody who thinks this is sacrilege isn't paying attention to what really goes down during big church events that involve hotels. You know the security cameras in all these hotels are recording plenty of "walks of shame" in their hallways during the wee hours of the morning.

Anonymous said...

It's hard to find the perfect Feast toys for your kids, so I'll help-

For boys, I recommend the action figure Deluxe Miracle Jesus with glow-in-the-dark hands.
(It's glow-in-the-dark hands also come in handy when you have trouble finding the key hole on your motel room's door after a night of Feast merriment.)

For girls, I recommend a nice doll, Benign Girl!
(This doll will help girls to remember that God created them to be benign and subservient, not make waves, and to shut their yaps in church and most other times, too.)

Douglas Becker said...

Are we talking about the deeply spiritual experience of the Feast of the Lord or family vacation at a Corporate Convention site?

It won't matter, by their late teens and early 20s most of them will be gone anyway.

Just remember you can only use 2nd tithe (there's no such thing) at the Feast: All games, clothes, toys, etc. will have to be destroyed before you leave the site.

But not to worry -- this makes for wonderful marketing for next year's Feast... if there is one.

There's nothing like Olde Testament Christianity, thoroughly divorced from the New Testament and we have Oliver Cromwell to thank for that!

Go Puritans!

No wait!

They wouldn't participate in such frivolities for modern Pharisees! They'd be keeping their noses in the Bibles, praying and studying the whole Feast instead of going on the water slide and taking the Gondola ride up the mountain....

As for toys and games for the kids, GOD FORBID!

Joe Moeller said...

Spirograph was cool!

It teaches you a lot about life too! You keep going around in circles and you end up right where you started!

Joe Moeller

Anonymous said...

"Just remember you can only use 2nd tithe (there's no such thing) at the Feast: All games, clothes, toys, etc. will have to be destroyed before you leave the site."

second tithe is for Feast expenses, for sure......but I can't think of any verses that mandate that it all be spent, or destroyed if not needed.....

Anonymous said...

we never got into the "feast gift" thing anyway.....smells just like christmans to us...

Anonymous said...

we never got into the "feast gift" thing anyway.....smells just like christmans to us...

Do tell! What do "christmans" smell like?

Anonymous said...