Sunday, August 11, 2013

James Malm: Fruit Salad Hats Are Not Appropriate For Women When They Pray

Several of Malm's online acolytes were a little disturbed by Malm's insistance on women wearing head coverings:

An acolyte asks:

Okay, I’m not to proud to admit that this entire topic, as presented, is confusing to me.
You seem to be saying that anyone of feminine gender who goes to church or who engages in Bible Study or prayer should have some sort of head covering.

You also seem to be saying that a head covering denotes a married woman just as a wedding band might.

Finally, you seem to be saying that all hair on a woman’s head should be covered (like the habit of a nun or Muslim headscarf minus the veil).

With this in mind:

How exactly should a husband instruct his wife, daughter, or granddaughter in such matters? Don't you already have sympathy for this mans wife, daughter and granddaughter!  Oy!

When should a head covering be worn and how extensive should its covering be for a woman to show herself a godly woman?
The Chief Pharisee responds:

I said that head covering started out as a physical covering over the hair, denoting a married woman, just as a wedding band might [but the wedding band is pagan and the hair covering is scriptural]; and that Christ approved of that and used it as an allegory of the marriage of the Lamb, and the chaste modesty and faithfulness of the bride of Christ. And further we should do this to acknowledge the authority of the Head, the Father in heaven and our espoused Husband Jesus Christ as our HEAD.

If women do not do this; then they are not respecting the authority of the Father or Christ as our Head.
In the Church of Malm women are not even allowed to discuss scripture without covering their heads.
It is very simple, women should cover their glory as a sign of humility when in the presence of God; at services, n prayer or while discussing the word of God. They will be greatly blessed for doing so. 

Women in the Church of Malm cannot wear fruit salad hats either!  Damn!  That take all the pleasure right out of attending church!  I only go because of the fruit salad hats!!!!!!!
Any cloth or hat that covers the top of the head and is modest; not gaudy like an ostrich plume or fruit salad hat would do nicely! James


Byker Bob said...

Remember how we all used to make up joke Bible Study questions, like "Is it OK to smoke on the Day of Atonement?"

Seriously, someone needs to start emailing James fake questions like "Is it OK for a woman to use Nair on or shave her pubic area?" This guy needs to be tripped up and made to appear ridiculous even in his own eyes!


Anonymous said...

We don't need to trip him up, he is doing a great job all on his own! What an idiot this guy is.

Corky said...

Hey James, get your women one of those little doily thingies to wear on their heads like the Amish women do.

It can be made of paper, so as to be disposable when the day is done. Or, heck, just use a Mr. Coffee coffee filter (12 cup size), I think you can get 200 of them for less than $3.

Just trying to be helpful...

DennisCDiehl said...

How about broccli and califlower?

Anonymous said...

"How about broccli and califlower?"

"Holy headdresses, Batman!"...

"How right you are, to bring the balsamic vinaigrette dressing, Boy Wonder! May the forks be with us."

Anonymous said...

What's wrong with fruit salad hats?

They can be rightly admired both in church and also at the church's pot luck afterwards.

No harm there, as long as the ladies don't let their breasts jiggle as much as their Jell-O based hats do.