Monday, August 26, 2013

Laura Weinland (Prophetess) and Audra Weinland (Money Manipulator) Say: "Even if you do NOT have a job you are STILL required to send in money."

Prophetess Laura Weinland, wife of imprisoned FELON Ron Weinland and #2 of the Witless Witnesses, along with her money grubbing daughter Audra, are getting pissed that COGPK members are NOT sending in their tithes and offerings now that Little Daddy is having playtime with Big Bubba.

Because the money stream has slowed significantly since Weienerdude has been in prison, Audra has started doing tithe checks on members, especially if they have asked for Feast assistance.  Money manipulator Audra soon discovered that a lot of members are not sending in their tithes or offerings.  This cannot be!  Prophetess Laura and Audra have to keep their standard of living up!  This is especially true of Audra since she is getting divorced from her husband.

Of course it is always the members fault.  They are in a bad attitude and in a state of REBELLION!   How sick is that?

A case in point, to show the wrong spirit of a few, there has been an attitude that has been reflected toward God in the matter of tithing (1st and 2nd) and Holy Day offerings. Knowing the subject matter of Wayne’s sermon being about rebellion, Laura wanted it communicated to Wayne about this specific attitude, as she knew he was already addressing a matter about monthly reports that the ministry have been told to submit each month. As one of Audra’s many tasks in working for the Church, she has been asked to check tithing and/or offering records of anyone who is seeking 2nd Tithe Assistance for the Feast of Tabernacles. The reason for this becomes obvious as I quote what she sent to Wayne about this matter that Laura wanted him to be aware of. He will likely be covering some of this in his sermon, but I do not know at this point. Here is what she sent:

“I was talking with mom and she told me to tell you about the conversation I had with her. We’ve been looking up tithing records for those who have requested Feast assistance and have noticed a few who haven’t given anything in the last year, or two years, and that includes 0 (zero) Holy Day offerings. She said that it needs to be addressed in a sermon, and I said to her, “Well I don’t understand because it has ALREADY been mentioned over and over before! Tithing has not only been mentioned over and over but Holy Day offerings too, and it has been stated that even if you don’t have a job or you are on a limited income, anyone can at least send in a dollar, and it’s commanded by God to do so.” So I mentioned that it was just like the topic in your sermon “Rebellion,” and that it was just like any elder who would think that they didn’t need to send in a report, in the same way, those people feel like they can “choose” not to send in a Holy Day offering, after they’ve been commanded to do so by God. Even after that had been repeated over and over in sermons already. It baffles me that people would even ask for assistance in a situation like that when they won’t even send in 1 dollar for over a year! If they think they can ask (and would have the nerve to do so) for something physical (money), when they can’t do what they are told to do physically (sending in an offering) then do they kid themselves into thinking they can ask for anything spiritual from God, and that He would give them anything? If they can’t do something small on a physical plain why would they think they would get anything on a spiritual plain?”


Byker Bob said...

Apparently, it never occurs to these bean counters that jobless members could be living off charity at this point in time, their unemployment having run out.

But, then again, Armstrongism is superficial in their attempt at human relations, but not as concerns "the law".


Allen C. Dexter said...

This is hilarious. I think some people are finally getting smart. I haven't given a dime to any of those ne'er do well lazy frauds since sometime in 1974. Know what? I've had an abundantly blessed life and have no fear of judgment from the big sky daddy. Forget the feast. Have a real vacation. Might I suggest Hawaii? The big island is fantastic and so is Maui.

Corky said...

Looks like it might be time for Laura to find herself another sugar daddy. Maybe get a job?

Yeah, yeah, I's hard to quit being a parasite on the backs of other people but it can be done...

Anonymous said...

Sounds like the vacation and spa getaway fund is getting low

Head Usher said...

Totally! Like, gag me! Like, don't they know that it's GOD who is commanding them to fork over their physical U.S. dollars to Weinland, Inc.? It says it right there in black and white somewhere in everyone's bible, right next to where it talks about those reports! Then to have the NERVE to ask me and mom for OUR hard-earned cash? Like, ohmigod! How rebellious can you get? Money doesn't grow on trees yaknow! And I suppose they expect GOD is going to give them spiritual stuff into the bargain? Like, ohmigod!

You can't con a con man. But that doesn't mean you should stop trying!

James said...

Money grubbing bitch!

I bet this will evolve into a Weinland clarion call in a few months.

Byker Bob said...

BTW, shades of Blodwyn Pig on the Laura Weinland portrait! I still have my "A Head Rings Out" vinyl album from the '70s, with the picture of the pig in headphones on the cover, smokin' a doob. I bought it for one song: "Dear Jill"


Anonymous said...

Maybe if Laura and Audra posted some youtube videos of how hard they are working for their money, it would encourage members to send in more money.

I'm sure it's hard work and they work up quite a sweat as they open those envelopes, count the money, shop for jewelry, check the books to see who the tithe slackers are, make trips to the bank, hide jewelry and diamonds, make trips to the luxury spa and ice cream store, visit their favorite felon con man in prison, etc.

Anonymous said...

"'s commanded by God to do so"?????
Bah-bow!!! Wrong answer kid!!!
God doesn't command Christ's followers to give 10% of their money to anyone let alone some bloke who thinks he is entitled to filthy lucre as God's representative on earth!!!
What He does command, however, is the DEATH PENALTY for lying "prophets" who make false predictions in His Name!!! (Deut. 18:20-22)
If, according to the Law (Exod. 22:1), God commanded 4-fold restitution for profiting from a theft of an animal and we see this very principle paralleled in the 4-fold deaths of David's sons after he took the life of Uriah and stole his wife then I'd be very cautious if you tempt the LORD your God in like manner by putting words in His mouth!!! He just might demand sometime in the future that you make multiple restitution to those you stole from in this life!!! Maybe there's a deeper spiritual reason for your own dad being incarcerated for tax evasion??!! I'd be wary of following in his dubious footsteps!!!