Sunday, March 20, 2016

Philadelphia Church of God Producing New Musical About Biblical Sex

We all knew it was a matter to time till some Church of God leader put his sex fantasy into music.  This is a Church of God, after all.

Philadelphia Church of God, the aberrant sect of Armstrongism located in the middle of Oklahoma, has set the words of Song of Solomon into a musical stage production.

What a magnificent chorus this will be filled with virginal PCG youth singing about sex, something they are forbidden to partake of during the four years they are on the compound.

Song of Songs by Ryan Malone  
Herbert W. Armstrong College Choral Union 
Mark Jenkins, conductor 
The Herbert W. Armstrong College Choral Union teams up with professional orchestra and soloists to perform a new setting of the greatest love song of all time: the Song of Solomon. The entire text of King Solomon’s Song of Songs comes vibrantly to life in this composition by college music director Ryan Malone, which captures the intimacy and power of this passionate poetry. This oratorio was performed and recorded in January 2012 as an unaccompanied choral work, but it has been orchestrated to capture even more deeply the rich imagery of this immortalized poetry.
THURSDAY, APRIL 7 • 7:30 PM • $15, $20, $25, $30

Some of the fruitful lyrics that will be wafting heavenward will include:

  1. "Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth: for thy love is better than wine." A fitting beginning for a pornographic poem. Song of Solomon 1:2
  2. "The virgins love thee." Song of Solomon 1:3
  3. "We will run after thee ... we will remember thy love more than wine." Song of Solomon 1:4
  4. "He shall lie all night betwixt my breasts." Song of Solomon 1:13
  5. "I sat down under his shadow with great delight, and his fruit was sweet to my taste." Song of Solomon 2:3
  6. "His left hand is under my head and his right hand doth embrace me ... stir not up, nor awake my love, till he please." Song of Solomon 2:6-7
  7. "My beloved is like a roe or a young hart: behold, he standeth behind our wall, he looketh forth at the windows, shewing himself through the lattice." Song of Solomon 2:9
  8. "In the secret places of the stairs, let me see thy countenance ... for ... thy countenance is comely." Song of Solomon 2:14
  9. "My beloved is mine, and I am his: he feedeth among the lilies." Song of Solomon 2:16
  10. "Until the day break, and the shadows flee away, turn, my beloved, and be thou like a roe or a young hart upon the mountains. Song of Solomon 2:17
  11. "By night on my bed I sought him whom my soul loveth." Song of Solomon 3:1
  12. "I found him whom my soul loveth: I held him, and would not let him go, until I had brought him into my mother's house, and into the chamber of her that conceived me." Song of Solomon 3:4
  13. "Stir not up, nor awake my love, till he please." Song of Solomon 3:5
  14. "Thy two breasts are like two young roes that are twins." Song of Solomon 4:5
  15. "How much better is thy love than wine!" Song of Solomon 4:10
  16. "Thy lips, O my spouse, drop as the honeycomb: honey and milk are under thy tongue; and the smell of thy garments is like the smell of Lebanon." Song of Solomon 4:11
  17. A garden inclosed is my sister, my spouse; a spring shut up, a fountain sealed." Song of Solomon 4:12
  18. "Thy plants are an orchard of pomegranates, with pleasant fruits." Song of Solomon 4:13
  19. "A fountain of gardens, a well of living waters, and streams from Lebanon." Song of Solomon 4:15
  20. "Come ... blow upon my garden, that the spices thereof may flow out. Let my beloved come into his garden, and eat his pleasant fruits."
    Oh, so that's where "blow job" comes from!  Song of Solomon 4:16
  21. "I am come into my garden, my sister, my spouse: I have gathered my myrrh with my spice; I have eaten my honeycomb with my honey." Song of Solomon 5:1
  22. "Open to me, my sister, my love, my dove, my undefiled." Song of Solomon 5:2
  23. "My beloved put in his hand by the hole of the door, and my bowels were moved for him." Song of Solomon 5:4
  24. "I rose up to open to my beloved; and my hands dropped with myrrh, and my fingers with sweet smelling myrrh, upon the handles of the lock."  Song of Solomon 5:5
  25. "I opened to my beloved; but my beloved had withdrawn himself." Song of Solomon 5:6
  26. "His countenance is as Lebanon, excellent as the cedars." Song of Solomon 5:15
  27. "His mouth is most sweet: yea, he is altogether lovely. This is my beloved, and this is my friend." Song of Solomon 5:16
  28. "The joints of thy thighs are like jewels." Song of Solomon 7:1
  29. "Thy navel is like a round goblet, which wanteth not liquor: thy belly is like an heap of wheat set about with lilies." Song of Solomon 7:2
  30. "Thy two breasts are like two young roes that are twins."  Song of Solomon 7:3
  31. "How pleasant art thou, O love, for delights!" Song of Solomon 7:6
  32. "Thy breasts to clusters of grapes." Song of Solomon 7:7
  33. "Thy breasts shall be as clusters of the vine." Song of Solomon 7:8
  34. "Come, my beloved, let us go forth into the field ... Let us get up early to the vineyards ... there will I give thee my loves." Song of Solomon 7:12
  35. "I would cause thee to drink of spiced wine of the juice of my pomegranate. Song of Solomon 8:2
  36. "His left hand should be under my head, and his right hand should embrace me. Song of Solomon 8:3-4
  37. "Stir not up, nor awake my love, until he please." Song of Solomon 8:4
  38. "We have a little sister, and she hath no breasts ... But my breasts [are] like towers." Song of Solomon 8:8-10


Anonymous said...

Regarding the pic, I thought showing even a bit of boob is a no no in the churches.

Sweetblood777 said...

It is unbelievable that now the church has descended to the point of enticing sexual thoughts as part of its message. Sick.

DennisCDiehl said...

Sweetblood777 said...
It is unbelievable that now the church has descended to the point of enticing sexual thoughts as part of its message. Sick.

Well then...if this script is actually taken from scripture, we can surmise the OT is also quite sick with it's sex and violence.

However, whoever and for whatever reason Song of Solomon (and it is not a tale of how much Jesus loved the church as I was told growing up) it is probably one of the most true to human emotion and reality in lives really lived and love really felt for another there can be.

Americans are far far behind, repressed and uncomfy in understanding and accepting all things sexual most of the rest of the world. Christianity has been a major contributor to the prudery and "sinfulness" of human emotion, love and need. When in SC I had a fundamentalist friend who told me he prayed every night before he got home (he was a policeman) that he would not get excited for sex because it was only for having children and they had enough. Sad sad sad....

Flurry may be showing poor judgment however since he majors in the minors in so many other things and is such the dictator. Perhaps he has issues with controling his own fantascies and this provides an outlet. Perhaps his son just wants others to know they are normal and cool and not the theological whack jobs they all are.

Black Ops Mikey said...

Oh, now, I think the reasoning behind the production is more prosaic.

Sex sells.

At least that's probably what Flurry and the PCG is hoping.

Connie Schmidt said...


...brought to the event by the late Garner Ted Armstrong!

Byker Bob said...

Song of Solomon is the one book in the Bible that has the distinction of never having been quoted as one of the proof texts in Armstrong eisegetics. It was alluded to from time to time, but the only minister whom I ever knew to spend more than brief, passing moments on it was David Jon Hill. And that was just on one occasion. He did not have a Rod Meredith-like preoccupation with it.

This Flurry piece piqued my curiosity. Do people actually preach from this book today? Having Googled it, apparently there are some ministries, both Christian and Jewish, that do teach from it as being representative of Godly sex. However, it would appear that Flurry is the only one who would make some sort of pageant out of it.

If this is some sort of outreach program or an evangelistic effort, how tragic and disingenuous would it be to use something so wonderful as sex to attract people to a toxic cult that specializes in false prophecy?


Ralph said...

How about a real story of love found "right here"


Anonymous said...

I sat through the first performance of this on a Friday night inside the Auditorium. It was back in 2012.
Just to let you know, there are two groups of us in the PCG. Those that can't sing and have to listen to this opera crap every sabbath, and those who can sing and are always thinking up new ways to annoy the ones beneath them.
Before the Malines got all uppity, we used to have enjoyable special music and performances. Now, everything is written and approved by Malone and his oddball sidekick Mark Jenkins.

Retired Prof said...

My best guess is that the Song of Solomon was originally the script for a music-and-dance production. It much resembles some English poems of the 16th-17th centuries called masques--no particular plot but a lot of song and spectacle around a theme. There seems to be no historical connection between these performances and ancient ones, by the way. It's just the kind of thing human beings do. They sing. They dance. They play musical instruments.

So if Flurry and his group are re-creating some of the exuberance implied in the original, I applaud them, especially if they play up the original eroticism, with freckled breasts bouncing like playing fawns, and the kisses like wine, and the lover who "feedeth among the lilies," nudge, nudge, wink, wink.

That is to say, I would be willing to put up with the "opera crap" objected to by anonymous if the troupe performed the show in the sexy spirit suggested by the libretto.

Anonymous said...

He is a Booby Lover!! Woo hoo

Chuckles said...

Ralph...Thanks for the Penguin story, there's no doubt there is love there alright

Anonymous said...

More and more, there is a growing number within the PCG who are getting sick and tired of the musicals and Irish dancing nonsense coming from HQ.

PCG members in the field are beginning to see that they are being asked to give more and more, whilst HQ squanders thousands of dollars on garbage like this. These productions involve scores of performers, sets, costumes and lighting, all costing a small fortune, not to mention the thousands of man hours these little pantomimes take to put together.

I attended one of Malone’s productions a few years ago. One thing I noticed was that the attendees were overwhelmingly all PCG members, with just a handful from the outside community. It was literally a case of the performers being applauded by their family and friends in the audience. When the thunderous applause went up at the end of the farce I felt like I was attending a high school musical with a bunch of pushy parents.

Armstrong Auditorium, and indeed the PCG in general, has become nothing more than a platform for the ego of Malone and his screeching wife Paula. Other people that are regular performers are Joel Hilliker, Mark Jenkins, Amy Flurry, and laughably Laura Turgeon (Gerald Flurry’s daughter) who couldn’t hold a tune in a bag. The musicals are also used to showcase the ridiculous Irish dancing of Gerald Flurry’s grandkids and the rest of the Edmond elite children. The reality is that these people have a ready-made audience who have to listen to them sing and perform on a force fed basis or else they are in trouble. Joel Hilliker in a recent message even chided the membership for not praying enough because attendance was down at a performance of Malone’s recent Isaiah musical.

No pun intended, but one other interesting “note” is that all of Malone’s “musicals” and compositions sound the same. It's like the guy has one tune in him. Another interesting “note” is that each of his musicals feature essentially the same PCG/HQ’s elite in the basically the same roles.

Currently PCG HQ has embarked on the construction of a multimillion dollar dance and music facility on campus at Edmond, yet simultaneously morale in the PCG has never been lower. I wonder why that is?

Black Ops Mikey said...

"...brought to the event by the late Garner Ted Armstrong!"



But... but... but....

I thought Garner Ted Armstrong was still alive!!!

Doesn't he still give sermons on that GTA Evangelistic website... from his secret bunker buried somewhere beneath Tyler, Texas?

You mean, it isn't the bunker that's buried???!!!!????

Anonymous said...

The only way to pull off this song properly would be to have animatronic Armstrongs running around the stage, too.

Animatronic Herbie would be chasing animatronic Dorothy around and around the big pile of HWA's books that Joe Tkach sold to Flurry, while animatronic GTA is dancing around the stage chasing a masseuse and pulling at his animatronic pud, yelling "LOOK DADDY, I'M NOT GAY!"

Gotta love it!

Anonymous said...

The penguin story is adorable but not sticky sexy like Song of Solomon.

Now, the PCG elite on stage putting their hands on "the hole of the door" and sitting under each others' shadows, tasting each others' sweet, hanging fruit - now that's HOTTT!


Anonymous said...

“Philadelphia Church of God Producing New Musical About Biblical Sex”

All sorts of old male and female sex perverts were running wild and out of control in the PCG long ago. If they see something like this, it will really drive them crazy.

Anonymous said...

As stated above by Anonymous, all the performances are done by the elite in the PCG. Then they harass you from the pulpit if you don't attend every one of there weeknight concerts, plays, recitals, lectures, etc. it's a constant stroking of their egos! And when no one shows up you their stupid events then they chew us out from the pulpit and tell us how disappointed God is with us!
Yes, Paula Malone does nothing but screech, and when they announce that she's performing Special music it's always fun to watch the masses get up to use the restroom at that time! Mr. Malone is so proud of his screeching wife. Most of us think he married her to hide how he really is.
You have to also wonder how Mark Jenkins can teach at the college and have regular performances himself. He is so proud and smug. He won't acknowledge anyone at services. He talks with such a lisp and slur, like he has cheeks full of marbles. No one can ever understand him, yet somehow he gets all the best parts. Hmmm
And it's true that Laura Turgeon can't sing. It's embarrassing to watch her. I find it humiliating. Oh well!

Anonymous said...

I'm a little surprised that no one has mentioned the PCG's radio station! You can listen to to it hear in Edmond or live online at It's called Trumpet Radio and it even has its own little Jingle. You can hear programs given by Gerald Flurry, Stephen Flurry, Brian Davis, Gareth Fraser, Joel Hilliker, Dennis Leap, Jeremiah Jaques and many many more! Plus!!!! In between each program you get to hear Paula Malone screeching!
Go ahead, give it a listen.
You know you want to! *wink*

Lake of Fire Church of God said...

"That Profit" Flurry looks really happy next to that exposed cleavage!


Anonymous said...

On an amusing note, professional artists who perform at the PCG’s auditorium will often graciously meet with concert goers after a performance in the foyer as an opportunity for fans to get autographs, photos etc.

Embarrassingly and laughably, after the most recent Malone Isaiah musical, many of the “elite” PCG performers, including the Irish dancers after their shambolic production finished, hung out in the foyer to do the exact same thing! It was there that they could meet their “fans”, i.e. their parents, friends and family members, as well as the other non-musical force-fed members who had to attend. I don't know if any of the performers offered to give their autographs, but it wouldn't surprise me.

There have also been times when professional artists performing at PCG concerts have been asked to allow one of the Edmond PCG local elites to perform with them. Malone and his wife do this frequently. To me this indicates that they have no qualms using the member-funded auditorium concert series as an opportunity to indulge in what amounts to acts of unbelievable self-promotion.

I remember reading about the leader of the Pentecostal group who bought out Ambassador Auditorium that before performances he would often testify to the audience before the show started as an opportunity to ram his religion down the throats of a captive audience. I remember cringing at that thought wondering how anyone could be so classless and tacky. Seeing the behaviour of the PCG musical elite in the foyer acting like rock stars, taking selfies and posting them on social media, now I know they can.

Apparently the snobbery from these people towards the rank and file membership is becoming unbearable.

R.L. said...

You may be able to hear the PCG production right now. A 2012 "Song of Songs" album can be heard online:

PCG may be over-the-top in terms of privacy, but at least it's posted a lot of religious music online for free. And it seems to me Ryan Malone has become the most prolific COG songwriter since Ross Jutsum.

@Byker Bob: One ministry on national Christian radio has been going through Song of Solomon for weeks - and NOT in a sex-driven way. Check:

Anonymous said...

I agree with RL - Ryan Malone is certainly very prolific, however as anonymous stated above, he’s prolific, but not in a good way.

As another commentator here stated all his compositions sound the same. In most of his pieces he tries to cram as much biblical text or PCG literature references into each song as possible. Then he gets his wife, himself, Mark Jenkins, or if he wants to stay on the payroll, Laura Turgeon to sing it.

PCG field membership had to sit through a video presentation of Malone’s Song of Songs for Bible study around 2011-2012. It was genuinely awful. The impression I got was of a pretentious feeble musical interpretation of biblical text. What starts off as a long dreary tuneless funeral dirge concludes with music essentially written to showcase his wife’s vocal range.

If you ever find yourself in the unfortunate position of having to sit through Malone’s Song of Songs you will literally hear Paula Malone shriek through the final few minutes. Her voice has the quality of microphone feedback, with the last few minutes being the musical equivalent of root canal treatment.

Funnily enough Paula Malone’s diction when she sings is so poor that most of the text she wails through is inaudible. Sadly for many PCG members over recent years the expression, it ain't over ‘til the lady sings, has taken on a whole new meaning.

A few years ago in a sermon Ryan Malone likened the fact the he, his wife and Mark Jenkins who run PCG’s music programmes with an iron fist, each occupied offices similar to the chief Levites who led the courses of temple worship mentioned in I and II Chronicles. Strangely the comment was never clarified or withdrawn.

As a commentator mentioned previously, PCG field membership are seething about the money and effort that’s invested in music and dancing.

As RL said you can go to and listen to Malone's Song of Songs. Alternatively you could just go to the dentist and have a tooth drilled, the net effect will be the same.

Anonymous said...

Anonymous at 5:20 PM said...

“If you ever find yourself in the unfortunate position of having to sit through Malone’s Song of Songs you will literally hear Paula Malone shriek through the final few minutes. Her voice has the quality of microphone feedback, with the last few minutes being the musical equivalent of root canal treatment.”

That sounds like precisely the sort of noise that most PCG members fully deserve to have to listen to. If there is such a thing as poetic justice, then this must be musical justice--or musical punishment.