Aaron Dean Needs To Turn The Hearts Of The Backsliders To The Flow Of The Golden Oil

 

The River of Golden Oil flowing back to the Apostle

Another day in the delightfully unhinged universe of Armstrongism—because apparently, not a single 24-hour period can pass without some fresh batch of certified nuttiness being uttered or enacted. You'd think these folks, being the One True Church of God and all, faithfully reenacting pristine 1st-century Christianity while serving as the world's last shining beacons in the darkness, might manage to get through a day without descending into pure farce. Yet here we are, once again.

The letter below, from none other than Samuel Kitchen to Aaron Dean, is a masterclass in whack-a-doodle delirium. It's practically overflowing with it.

In Samuel's fevered vision, there's this glorious river of golden oil flowing straight back to the ever-preserved Herbert W. Armstrong (because of course Samuel has him safely on ice, spiritually speaking). Aaron Dean's sacred duty, naturally, is to round up all those wayward, straying Church of God members and gently nudge them back into the divine stream so they can float home to Daddy Herb and help restore the church to its mythical glory days. Ah, yes—the good old days when everything was perfect and the "strong hand from someplace" was just around the corner. Powerful stuff.

Of course, much like his fellow self-appointed prophet Bob Thiel, Herbert is now conveniently the resurrected Zerubbabel, patiently sitting there (wherever that is) waiting for the Worldwide Church of God to rise phoenix-like from the ashes of decades of irrelevance. Any day now, surely.

But for this grand restoration to actually happen, Aaron Dean simply must repent of his tragic errors, kick the United Church of God to the curb like yesterday's bad theology, and return to the one true faith—the version meticulously safeguarded by Samuel himself. The only minor hiccup? Aaron's spiritual garden hose is apparently kinked, blocking the proper flow of that holy golden oil. How inconvenient.

After wading through several paragraphs of gobbledygook, Samuel helpfully tries to wow us with his impeccable credentials: he's related to Herbert Armstrong through some distant family branch. While Herb's famous crest featured a strong arm rising triumphantly out of a cloud (very on-brand), Samuel's own crest ups the ante with a strong arm clutching a sword emerging from the very same cloud—presumably poised to gleefully slaughter any recalcitrant COG stragglers who refuse to hop aboard his particular bandwagon.

Truly inspiring. One can only imagine the family reunions.

"Do not think that I came to bring peace on earth. 

I did not come to bring peace but a sword and a mallet."

A letter I wrote today to Aaron Dean

January 28,2026

Hello Mr Dean,

I hope you are doing well and keeping in good health.

I was reading Zechariah 4 again, about the flow of the golden oil.

When you mention Mr Armstrong, and reconnect people back to the apostle, do you realize you are reconnecting the flow of the golden oil?

Ever since 2010, online I have been pointing people back to Herbert W Armstrong.

He is the apostle of Jesus Christ.

He has a function, of “feeding the flock”.

John 17 shows that Jesus Christ is very faithful in His job of giving to the apostle what the Father has given Him!

In John 6:63, we see the Words Christ gives is “Spirit and life”.

We see the candlestick in Zechariah 4, is “the words of the Lord unto Zerubbabel”.

In verse 14, we see two anointed ones of God.

Zerubbabel and Joshua. They are involved with the flow of the golden oil, or Holy Spirit. They “feed” the candlestick.

Now what candlestick? Which Church?

The Worldwide Church of God is “the Word of the Lord unto Herbert W Armstrong”. He is the end time Zerubbabel.

But “the hands”(more than one) of Zerubbabel shall lay the foundation of THIS HOUSE(the Worldwide Church of God), and “the hands” shall finish it.

By connecting people to the apostle, we are like builders connecting them to the foundation.

I continually use “Worldwide Church of God” so there is no question as to WHICH HOUSE. It includes Herbert W Armstrong, but EXCLUDES all other churches. No other church is like it.

Does that make sense?

When a rebellious people want to argue, the Lord God makes it clear, with no wiggle room for doubt. “Church of God” is too ambiguous, and opens the door for much argument and vain babbling.

The Bible tells us to avoid such.

By being a minister of the UCG, you have entered the argument, and now can only direct people to the apostle of Christ, and not to the Church as a group or structure.

I have the benefit of being able to do that. I have not sat at the table in these church groups. And my focus, is to keep the flow of the golden oil, to the candlestick. When there is a departure I point it out, and reconnect the flow of the golden oil by pointing back to what Jesus Christ did through Herbert W Armstrong!

Because “the Word of the Lord unto Herbert W Armstrong” is the Worldwide Church of God.

You Mr Dean are running with a kinked hose, and I’m trying to help where I can, to un-kink it, so your job is secure and edified.

That’s what I feel Jesus Christ wants me to do.

But you cannot run a hose from the House of God, into another house.

If you look at the Tabernacle in the wilderness, and the location of the candlestick, you find there are no pipes piped out into another tent! It goes into one candlestick, not two.

The Two witnesses are two candlesticks, but in reality it is the same Candlestick!

By the testimony and labors of the first witness, the Philadelphia candlestick, which is the Worldwide Church of God, goes into place of safety.

When Joshua is cleaned up(Zech.3) and Michael stands up(Dan.12:1) and says “The Lord rebukes thee Satan”(Jude 1:9), He is restored to THIS HOUSE(The Worldwide Church of God) or the “remnant” in Laodicean era.

Zechariah 3:5-9

“…And the angel(the first witness) of the Lord stood by.

“And the angel of the Lord protested unto Joshua, saying,

“Thus saith the Lord of hosts; If thou wilt walk in my ways, and if thou wilt keep my charge, then thou shalt ALSO judge my house, and shalt ALSO keep my courts, and I will give thee places to walk among these that stand by.

“Hear now, O Joshua the high priest, thou, and thy fellows that sit before thee: for they are men wondered at: for, behold, I will bring forth my servant the Branch.

“For behold the stone that I have laid before Joshua; upon one stone(Isaiah 28:16, Zech.4:6)shall be seven eyes: behold, I will engrave the graving thereof, saith the Lord of hosts, and I will remove the iniquity of that land in one day.”

Only one Church, not two.

Just one part in a place of safety, and one part unprotected.

The second witness is unto Laodicea. He is only able to point them to the ONE MAN GOD IS USING. This is what you have been doing in the UCG, is it not?

The first witness is unto Philadelphia! He points out the SPIRITUAL TEMPLE, that was raised up through “the word of the Lord unto Herbert W Armstrong” that goes into a place of safety!

It is through the first witness, or Zerubbabel, the stone is laid before Joshua. Zerubbabel is about the business of laying the foundation. Through the labors of Joshua, the Temple is finished. This brings about the conclusion of the Laodicean era. Jesus Christ returns.

NOW NOTICE!

Zechariah 6:9-15

“And the word of the Lord came unto me, saying,

“Take of them of the captivity, even of Heldai, of Tobijah, and of Jedaiah, which are come from Babylon, and come thou the same day, and go into the house of Josiah the son of Zephaniah;

“Then take silver and gold, and make crowns, and set them upon the head of Joshua the son of Josedech, the high priest;

“And speak unto him, saying, Thus speaketh the Lord of hosts, saying, Behold the man whose name is The Branch; and he shall grow up out of his place, and he shall build the temple of the Lord:

“Even he shall build the temple of the Lord; and he shall bear the glory, and shall sit and rule upon his throne; and he shall be a priest upon his throne: and the counsel of peace shall be between them both.

“And the crowns shall be to Helem, and to Tobijah, and to Jedaiah, and to Hen the son of Zephaniah, for a memorial in the temple of the Lord.

“And they that are far off shall come and build in the temple of the Lord, and ye shall know that the Lord of hosts hath sent me unto you. And this shall come to pass, if ye will diligently obey the voice of the Lord your God.”

The Word of the Lord unto….the first witness!

The house of Josiah-Hen(Kit-Chen), the son of Zephaniah. There the Temple of the Lord shall be built, and you shall know the Lord of Hosts has sent me.

I didn’t write the Bible. It’s not my idea.

But because Christ had given me this job, I am committed to see it through.

Josiah means “supporter of Yah”, the God being(the Word and Logos) who became Jesus Christ.

Hen means “Grace”.

Zerubbabel shouts TWO TIMES “Grace” unto the capstone, and two hands of Zerubbabel lay the foundation. The final one laying Herbert W Armstrong as the apostle as part of the foundation.

Kit means “supporter of Christ” the God being(the Word and Logos) who was the YAH of the Old Testament.

Chen means “Grace”.

Now Herbert W Armstrong came from a family branch of my family. The surname Armstrong was given to him.

His crest is a bare arm of strength coming out of a cloud.

My crest is an armored arm of strength coming out of a cloud holding a sword dipped in blood.

(The Bedford flag is my family crest)

The Word of the Lord can’t be broken. I am not a time traveler. God is the orchestrator of these things. And by the Word of God you now know I am sent by God unto you.

In Christ’s service,

Samuel W Kitchen

Crackpot Prophet Claims Satan And His Minions Are Still Causing Him Issues

 

Oh, how utterly baffling it is, isn't it? Here we have the single greatest Church of God ever to grace the pathetic annals of human history—the one true beacon of divine truth, no less—led by the most exalted figure imaginable: the Great Bwana Bob himself (pardon me while I genuflect in awe). This is the church that has so heroically printed books in more languages than actual humans speak (because apparently God ran out of tongues to confuse at Babel and just kept going). This is the outfit blessed with the "sure word of prophecy," where the leader channels visions through a rotating cast of spirits like some celestial cable package with premium add-ons. This is the man who has draped himself in so many Old Testament prophetic mantles—Elijah, Elisha, Jeremiah, perhaps a dash of Habakkuk for flavor—that he probably wakes up in the morning unsure whether to smite a fig tree or just prophesy doom over his breakfast cereal.

And yet... and yet... this unparalleled powerhouse of end-time truth is being persecuted so relentlessly by big bad ol' meanie Satan? How can this be? It's almost as if the Almighty, in His infinite wisdom, decided to bet the farm on the one guy whose divine protection seems to glitch more often than a budget VPN.

Apparently, the god worshiped by Bwana Bob's faithful is either shockingly weak or hilariously incompetent when it comes to safeguarding His supposed most important church during these oh-so-perilous end times. The Holy Family must have been so busy micromanaging the foundations of the world—tossing planets around like cosmic bocce balls—that they completely forgot to budget any guardian angels for the final boss level. Priorities, right? Life is tough when you're a COG prophet. The pay is terrible, the hours are eternal, and the tech support from Heaven is basically nonexistent.

For months now, the most highly esteemed Great Bwana has been treating his loyal (and presumably very patient) followers to epic sagas about how Satan—yes, Satan himself—has unleashed his digital minions to attack the servers hosting the world's most important website. Because nothing screams "end-time urgency" like a DDoS on cogwriter.com or whatever it's called this week. In classic COGland fashion, Satan isn't just the adversary; he's practically the co-star. They talk about him more than God, Jesus, or basic website maintenance combined. The devil gets top billing as the all-powerful IT saboteur, while the Creator of the Universe apparently can't swing a firewall upgrade or inspire a decent sysadmin.

One almost pities the poor deity here. Imagine being omnipotent, omniscient, and omnipresent... yet still unable to stop a few hackers from inconveniencing your hand-picked final witness. It's like building the Death Star but forgetting to install antivirus. Truly, the mind reels at such cosmic incompetence.

Poor Bwana Bob. Carrying the weight of prophecy on his shoulders while dodging Satan's relentless cyber-bullying must be exhausting. Maybe next time the Almighty could spring for cloud hosting with divine redundancy. Or, you know, just smite the routers. But no—better to let the Greatest Church Ever limp along on glitchy servers, because nothing builds faith like blaming the Prince of Darkness for your uptime issues.

Truly, the end times have never been so... underwhelming.

Greetings from Grover Beach, California. 

 

We have made progress with issues affecting our ccog.org and other sites, as well as cogwriter.com. 

 

But we are not completely finished yet. 

 

As mentioned last week, Satan does not want us to proclaim all the truths that we do and has his minions affect us in many negative ways (Ephesians 6:12). 

 

Another Fraudster 

 

On Tuesday, we received an email from www.Anedot.com asking if we authorized anyone to collect money on behalf of the Continuing Church of God with them.

I said we were unaware of such, and they sent me an email that someone who claimed to be:

Peter Kotschedoff set up the account under the email churchofgodcontinuing@gmail.com.
So, I told Anedot no, we do not have anyone named Peter Kotschedoff, and no, he was not authorized to set up an account at Anedot.com. So they closed that account on Wednesday. 

 

Anedot.com is some type of a donation website, and apparently some thief (we are not sure if the name Peter Kotschedoff is real) felt his/her covetousness was more important than supporting the end time Philadelphian work and assisting the poor, widows, orphans, and hungry. 

 

The Apostle Paul warned:

1 This know also, that in the last days perilous times shall come.

2 For men shall be lovers of their own selves, covetous, …

5 Having a form of godliness, but denying the power thereof: from such turn away. …

13 … evil men and seducers shall wax worse and worse, deceiving, and being deceived. (2 Timothy 3:1-2,5, 13, KJV) 

 

Satan wants to stop us from leading the final phase of the work as the Philadelphian remnant of the Church of God.

Commercial Break: Pre-Adamic Man: No Such Thing

While having literary, political and theological meaning, the myth of Adam, Eve and the Garden is not any actual account of human origins or "first parents", a mere 6000 years ago.

Theology? Yes.  Human origins? No. 

 

Homo habilis and the Dawn of Human Intelligence (2.4–1.5 Million Years Ago)

^{Around 2.4 million years ago, the first members of the genus Homo appeared. Homo habilis, or “handy man,” was named for the stone tools found near its fossils. These early humans had larger brains than Australopithecus and were likely more dependent on tools for survival.}

^{They lived in complex social groups and may have scavenged or hunted small animals. Their teeth were smaller, suggesting a shift in diet. The use of tools allowed them to crack open bones for marrow—a rich source of calories that may have fueled further brain growth.}

^{Although they still looked primitive by today’s standards, Homo habilis marked a turning point. The cognitive gap between them and earlier hominins was vast. The line between survival and innovation was beginning to blur.}

Homo erectus: The First Global Wanderers (1.9 Million–140,000 Years Ago)

^{Around 1.9 million years ago, Homo erectus emerged in Africa. This species was larger, stronger, and more advanced than its predecessors. Its brain was about two-thirds the size of a modern human’s, and its body proportions were similar to ours. Homo erectus used more sophisticated stone tools, possibly controlled fire, and built shelters.}

^{But perhaps the most remarkable trait of Homo erectus was its wanderlust. It was the first human species to leave Africa. Fossils have been found in Georgia (1.8 million years ago), Indonesia (1.6 million years ago), and China (1.2 million years ago). Homo erectus adapted to many environments, from tropical forests to dry grasslands.}

^{Fire provided warmth and protection, allowing these early humans to settle in colder climates. Cooking may have made food more digestible, improving nutrition and supporting brain growth. Social bonds deepened. Cooperation became essential. The long human journey had gone global.}

Neanderthals, Denisovans, and the Branching Tree of Humanity (800,000–40,000 Years Ago)

^{From Homo erectus came a variety of species adapted to different environments. In Europe and western Asia, Homo neanderthalensis—the Neanderthals—evolved around 400,000 years ago. In eastern Asia, another group emerged: the Denisovans, known primarily through genetic evidence and a few fossil fragments.}

^{Neanderthals were not brutish cavemen, as once believed. They had larger brains than modern humans, buried their dead, cared for the injured, and created art and tools. Their lives were hard, marked by cold climates and dangerous hunts, but they were intelligent survivors.}

^{Meanwhile, early Homo sapiens were evolving in Africa. Fossils from Morocco, dated to around 300,000 years ago, show a mix of modern and archaic features. These early humans had high foreheads, smaller faces, and behavior increasingly shaped by culture.}

Homo sapiens: The Emergence of Modern Humans (300,000 Years Ago–Present)

^{Modern humans, Homo sapiens, emerged in Africa roughly 300,000 years ago. They spread slowly at first moving into the Middle East around 100,000 years ago. and into Europe and Asia by 60,000 years ago..}

^{Along the way , they encountered and interbred with Neanderthals and Denisovians, leaving traces of these ancient relatives in our own DNA.} 

^{What set Homo sapiens apart was not just biology, but behavior. Around 50,000 years ago, a “cognitive revolution” occurred. Humans began to make intricate tools, jewelry, cave paintings, and musical instruments. They developed language, rituals, and myths. Culture became a survival tool as powerful as fire or stone.}

^{As humans spread across the globe, they adapted to new environments, domesticated animals, and transformed landscapes. By 15,000 years ago, they had reached the Americas. By 4,000 years ago, they had colonized remote Pacific islands.}

Agriculture, which began around 10,000 years ago in the Fertile Crescent, changed everything. People settled into villages, built cities, and formed civilizations. Writing was invented, and with it, history began.

From a historical perspective, literacy levels for the world population have risen drastically in the last couple of centuries. While only one in ten people in the world could read and write in 1820, today, only 1 in 10 remains illiterate. .

Humans became  personally conscious about 3300 BC to 2100BC, 5,300 to 4,100 years ago when writing was invented with reading came next.  It was at this time the personal "I" came into being .

From Homo Erectus, 2 million years ago, up until the last Neanderthal, the hand axe never changed. This personal Acheulean handaxe is about 800,000 years old

 

 

From 60,000 years ago to today, modern humans went to the moon and invented AI

 

AI beings may prove to be the next new species putting the existence of modern humans at risk if quardrails aren't enforced. 

 

Shaping Humanity: How Science, Art and Imagination Help Us Understand Our Origins

 

 

 

Despising the Cross

It's that magical time of year again—Armstrongist Passover season is upon us, and right on cue, Bwana Bob Thiel is gearing up for his annual meltdown over the dreaded cross.

No one could possibly forget his utterly appalling (and let's be honest, vile) reaction back when grace-filled Christians in the local community quietly erected crosses to honor each Living Church of God member slaughtered by Terry Ratzmann in those tragic Milwaukee murders. While others grieved, Bwana Bob couldn't resist spewing his disgust at the very symbol of the faith he claims to follow.

And here we are in 2026, and surprise, surprise—he's still just as spiteful and repulsed by the cross as ever. If you're a genuine Christian, even considering this guy as a legitimate teacher or leader, that should be flashing red lights and blaring sirens. 

One can only imagine the sheer delight it must bring him when he sees Islamic extremists tearing down Christian crosses and demolishing churches—he probably equates it to some glorious sign of the times. After all, Armstrongists like Bwana Bob treat the Book of Revelation like their personal validation playbook; they desperately need every disaster, plague, and apocalyptic horror mentioned in it to actually happen so they can finally scream, "See? We were right all along!" How convenient for their endless nuttiness.

Many people have pointed to various aspects of modern technology as being related to the ‘mark of the beast’ of Revelation. And while the final Beast power will utilize technology, could something as familiar as some type of a cross be a mark of the beast?

Like many other Armstrongists, Bwana Bob's eyes glaze over at the mere thought that Emperor Constantine slapped that pagan-tinged symbol on his military shields—the infamous labarum with its chi-rho "cross" thingy—turning what should be a simple execution stake into some militaristic talisman for his troops.

Because nothing screams "true Christianity" like a Roman emperor repurposing a heavenly vision to win battles and push his version of the faith forward, right? Clearly, that's the hill Bwana Bob chooses to die on—repeatedly—while conveniently ignoring how the real cross has meant comfort and remembrance to actual believers for centuries. But hey, who needs historical nuance when you've got prophecy-fueled disdain to fuel the annual rant?

In 312, the Roman Emperor Constantine I the Great was in Trier, Germany where he had an unexpected vision of a cross that appeared in the sky…Constantine’s soldiers, the majority of whom were pagans, placed the sacred image of the cross on their shields (Mangan C.M. In This Sign You Conquer, 10/15/03 Copyright © 2004 Catholic Online). 

 

Oh, of course—those stupid, ignorant, pagan heathens dared to use the cross, so naturally it must be forever prohibited. Bad pagans! Shame on them for tainting the symbol with their filthy history.

Real True Christians (read: Armstrongists) would never, ever allow a cross anywhere near them—gasp!—because, as everyone knows, the Antichrist is definitely going to be making you get one on your forehead or hand. Better safe than sorry, right? Can't risk associating with anything that might accidentally look like that thing Jesus actually died on. Priorities, people. Priorities.

If the cross is a symbol of the future Antichrist/Beast power as Priest P. Huchedé indicates it will be (and it is in a book with an official imprimatur), perhaps those who come from faiths descended from Emperor Constantine should be concerned about their religion now–before it becomes even further removed from the original faith. The Bible indicates that the true Christians will NOT have the symbol/mark needed to buy or sell when the two beasts of Revelation 13 are in power, but only those that will follow those beasts will (Revelation 13:16-17)–and while crosses may not necessarily be required everywhere, other Greco-Roman Catholic writings suggest that in certain places, they will be. 

 

Bwana Bob goes on and on about all kinds of things just to pump up that massive vain ego of his, yet he very conveniently chooses to ignore the following from the Bible:

You know, verses like Proverbs 16:18—"Pride goes before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall"—or maybe James 4:6, where it says God resists the proud but gives grace to the humble. Funny how those get skipped when you're busy declaring yourself the one true prophet while everyone else is apparently blind.

But sure, keep ranting about pagan crosses and end-time disasters—nothing says "humble servant of God" like turning every post into a mirror for self-admiration. Priorities, right?

Instead of despising the cross, like Bwana Bob does, perhaps he needs to look at how his sacred Scriptures present the opposite view: 

...the cross is central to salvation, to be boasted in (Galatians 6:14), preached boldly, and regarded as the ultimate demonstration of God's love and power.

The message of the cross is described as foolishness (or seeming absurd/nonsense) to unbelievers like Bwana Bob, but it is the power of God to those being saved.

1 Corinthians 1:18 — For the message of the cross is foolishness to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the power of God.

1 Corinthians 1:23 — ...but we preach Christ crucified: a stumbling block to Jews and foolishness to Gentiles...

This shows that unbelievers (Jews expecting a triumphant Messiah without suffering, or Greeks seeking philosophical sophistication) naturally reject or scorn the idea of a crucified Savior. Paul calls this a "stumbling block" (skandalon, scandal/offense) and "foolishness," but he affirms it as divine wisdom.
Jesus Himself "endured the cross, despising the shame" — not despising the cross as evil, but treating the shame/humiliation associated with it (public execution as a criminal, nakedness, mockery) as something to disregard because of the greater joy of redemption and exaltation ahead.

Hebrews 12:2 — ...looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God.

This is the closest the Bible comes to using "despising" in connection with the cross, but it's Jesus despising the shame of it (not the cross itself), and He endured it willingly for our sake.

Believers are warned against becoming enemies of the cross by living in ways that undermine its meaning (e.g., pursuing fleshly desires instead of self-denial and holiness).

Philippians 3:18 — "For many... walk as enemies of the cross of Christ." (Paul weeps over this, describing such people as focused on earthly things, with destruction as their end.) 

 

The New Testament consistently honors the cross as the means of atonement (e.g., Colossians 2:14, 1 Peter 2:24), reconciliation (Ephesians 2:16), and victory over sin/death. 

Paul says:

Galatians 6:14 — "But far be it from me to boast except in the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ, by which the world has been crucified to me, and I to the world."

The Bible says the cross appears foolish or offensive to those rejecting the gospel (unbelievers), and Jesus despised its shame while enduring it. But true Christians are called to embrace, proclaim, and boast in the cross—not despise it—as the core of salvation. Any teaching that despises the cross itself (as a symbol or the event) goes against the New Testament's emphasis.

PCG: As "Field Mice" It Is Your Duty To Pay And Pray

Picture it: wide-eyed, wallet-open members gazing upward in reverent awe at their ministry—those anointed vessels of divine wisdom, those celestial middle managers hand-picked by God Himself to micromanage every last thought, skirt length, car color, dress shirt color, and tithe check. The very idea that these luminous beings might not, in return, regard the average tithing serf with even a modicum of respect? Why, that’s practically heresy. Almost as heretical as suggesting the ministers were ever meant to—gasp—serve the congregation instead of the other way around. How quaint. How adorably naïve. How very 1st-century of anyone to still believe that servant-leader nonsense after all these decades of glorious top-down lordship.

For generations, the flock has been showered with the most affectionate pet names straight from the pastoral heart: spiritual babies (aww, they’re still on milk!), weak, sheeple (because actual sheep have more backbone), gullible, naive, rebellious (the cardinal sin), Jezebels (because nothing says “godly discernment” like slapping that label on any woman who dares have an opinion), bitter, stupid, dumb as rocks, Laodicean (the nuclear option), and my personal favorite—“unconverted.” Truly, the vocabulary of love knows no bounds.

And then—cue the heavenly choir and a spotlight brighter than the one on a Feast of Tabernacles stage—enter the Philadelphia Church of God, the glittering crown jewel of administrative compassion. In their breathtakingly brief but extraordinarily malevolent history, they have never once wasted a single calorie holding any member in anything approaching high esteem. Why bother when you can instead lovingly bury them under an ever-expanding avalanche of godly government rules so intricate, so soul-crushingly petty, so marvelously life-destroying that the average member probably needs a flow chart just to figure out when they’re allowed to speak to their own children again?

The fruits of this enlightened leadership? Shattered families, messy divorces, heart-wrenching estrangements, and, tragically, suicides—all in the name of "God's government," of course.

How utterly Christ-like. 

How perfectly Philadelphian. 

The Exit & Support Network has been kind enough to keep the receipts—decades of testimonies, shattered lives, and polite little horror stories that read like dystopian fan fiction except they’re real and someone’s still tithing to keep the machine humming.

So here’s to the ministry: forever preaching servanthood while practicing Pharaoh cosplay, forever demanding blind loyalty while dispensing contempt like it’s the new Passover wine, forever promising God’s blessings right up until the moment the ambulance leaves with the lights on.

Truly, if sarcasm were a spiritual gift, these groups would have the full nine yards and then some. 

What a ministry. 

What a legacy. 

What a masterclass in “do as I say, not as I do.” 

Brava. 

Encore. 

Pass the offering plate.

E&S had this up:

PCG Ministers Call Members “Field Mice”:
January 24, 2026 

 

Some time back when I was still in the Philadelphia Church of God. I attended a family event at the PCG compound in Edmond OK. 

 

I went into the men’s room and while there I noticed an older man cleaning the room. I told him he was doing a great job because it was so clean. We talked a bit. It seems he was a member of the PCG HQ congregation and he was glad to see so many non HQ members at the event. 

 

He told me that HQ staff and ministers called members from outside HQ “field mice” and that it was the job of the “field mice” to “pay and pray.” He didn’t like that sentiment and thought the term derogatory. He told me that he was thankful for us because without us “field mice” he would not have a job. 

 

I think if you ask any member of the PCG outside of HQ they will tell you that they are thought of as “field mice” and they can see the difference in how they are treated by HQ staff and ministers. –Former member of PCG [name withheld]

New Video About UCG Minister Who Murdered His Wife

 

PCG: Telling Members Who Want To Move To Edmond, OK They Do Not Project The Right image

Picture this, you weary veteran of the Churches of God clown car: if you've managed to endure more than a single soul-crushing Sabbath service without bolting for the exits, you've already decoded the divine algorithm. Slap on a supermodel grin, wave around a wallet thicker than the Book of Leviticus, and voilà—you're not just saved, you're fast-tracked to holy hotshot. 

Minister title? Yours for the taking. Local elder throne? Reserved. And if your genealogy app pings "Premium British Israelite Edition"? Jackpot, baby. The rest of you plebs? Barely footnotes in God's guest list. Second-string scrubs at best, or—my personal favorite—fodder for the preacher's lazy roast sessions, because nothing screams "Christian charity" like publicly dunking on someone's "inferior" heritage from the safety of a pulpit. 

Now, when the mother church finally kamikaze'd into a flaming dumpster fire of embezzlement, abuse cover-ups, doctrinal flip-flops, and enough legal bills to bankrupt a small deity—you'd assume the splinter-group saviors would emerge from the rubble, dust off their halos, and mutter, "Gee, perhaps we shouldn't perpetuate Herbert's beauty pageant-slash-caste system that's been alienating the faithful since forever." Oh, how quaintly optimistic. No, no, no—these gems were apparently timeless treasures. Herbert didn't just tolerate them; he probably high-fived the angels over them. Flawless. Inspired. Straight from the Mount Sinai remix album.

And that's how we wind up, with all the inevitability of a bad sequel, at the crowning glory that is the Philadelphia Church of God—still peddling the same elitist drivel like it's fresh manna. Gatekeeping grace by jawline symmetry, your weight, auditing your ancestry like it's a tax return, and feigning shock when the "lesser" folks don't stick around for the privilege of being sidelined. Still convinced their rigged hierarchy is "God's perfect plan," even as it crumbles under the weight of its own absurdity. The bar isn't just low; they've jackhammered through the earth's crust and are mining sarcasm in the mantle.

Truly a testament to spiritual stagnation. The more it reeks of the past, the more these luminaries insist it's progress. Keep polishing that tarnished legacy, champs. It's not a cult of personality—oh wait, yes it is. Bless your deluded little souls, every last one.

The following letter was up on Exit and Support Network, and it should come as no surprise to see Cal Culpepper and Wayne Turgeon's names being used as the abusers.:

Told They Weren’t HQ Material and Didn’t Fit the Image of the PCG:
January 27, 2026 

 

During the F.O.T. in Tucson I met a lady from Washington state. She told me she wanted to move near HQ in Edmond OK. Her job was willing to let her transfer and when she talked to her local minister about the move, he said it would be alright with him if she could get permission for the move from the HQ minister who was Wayne Turgeon. 

 

When she asked Turgeon for permission for the move, he told her that she “did not meet the image the church was trying to project.” She was a very heavy lady and she thought it was because of her weight. What else could it have been? 

 

Then the other day I was talking to a former member that had been put out of the PCG some years ago. She had attended the Cinci-Dayton congregation and also wanted to move to Edmond. She was a school teacher and thought she might be considered as a teacher for the PCG’s school. The minister she had to talk to Cal Culpepper. 

 

Culpepper told her that she “was not headquarters material” and he would not approve the move. This was told to her over the phone while she was driving and she had it on speaker where 2 other members heard it. 

 

Seems like PCG is all about projecting an image. To who? The local community? The audience at Armstrong Auditorium events? –Former member of PCG

Restored Church of God Members Are Already Godlike

Imagine belonging to a church that proudly proclaims its members possess godlike qualities—that they actually resemble God Himself—yet the very God they claim to follow apparently isn't sharp enough to clue their infallible leader, Dave Pack, in on the correct date for Christ's return to Wadsworth. Seriously, how divine must that deity be if He keeps fumbling the biggest announcement in cosmic history, week after week, year after year?

Is that really the kind of God you aspire to emulate? The one whose "image" includes getting the return date wrong so many times it's practically a hobby? I'd take a stadium packed with ordinary Christians—hands raised, hearts humbly aware they've never quite measured up, yet utterly confident in the grace and mercy that's been lavished on them anyway—over a smug little enclave of self-righteous, pompous pseudo-saints in Wadsworth any day. The ones who keep spinning fresh lies to their followers, sermon after sermon, failure after failure, all while preening about how superior and godlike they are.

Now, be honest: which group actually looks more like the real God— the humble, grace-dependent crowd, or the perpetually wrong, endlessly self-congratulating one?

We Are God-like - Carl Houk (The Restored Church of God) Carl Houk is a minister under David C. Pack of The Restored Church of God. This was a sermon titled "Becoming "Profit-able" Servants" given on September 27, 2025. He claims the world is full of ungodly people following a false Jesus while they (members of The Restored Church of God) are God-like and resemble God and have the qualities of God. David C. Pack and his enablers teach firmly that they are God's chosen ones. Anyone outside of this church, therefore, is following Satan and is ungodly.

@exRestoredCOG

Dave Pack Changes His Mind again - New Date Kingdom Arrives Is February 1, 2026

 

RCG/Dave Pack Newsflash:
The Kingdom Comes on February 1, 2026.
But Don't Fall In Love With That Idea.

David C. Pack of The Restored Church of God is the consummate fool, inventing his own folly. Desperately clinging to the notion that he is being led by God to teach the ever-changing nonsense falling from his lips, he reimagines his own discoveries for the sake of maintaining the illusion of prophetic relevance.

During “The Greatest Untold Story! (Part 617)” on January 17, 2026, the Pastor General shifted the arrival of the Kingdom to February 1 instead of February 2. Shevat 15 just fits better, don’tcha know?

The Kingdom Will Come on February 1, 2026!

The revised Kingdom sequence and clarified arrival date left the Pastor General intoxicated by his own supreme, apostolic confidence, even though he had to burn much of last week’s material.

In one of THE BEST David C. Pack meme-worthy moments, the faux Elijah grimaces and fist pumps his certainty of the revised Kingdom structure and that it will all begin on Shevat 15, February 1. This will undoubtedly become the most regrettable performance of his spiritually fraudulent career.

Part 617 – January 17, 2026
@ 01:32:00 We got it. We got it!

For those who would like the raw, isolated video clip for your own creative purposes, please write exrcgwebsite@gmail.com.

There were quite a few gems sprinkled throughout Part 617.

@ 01:23 It's critical we stay with proof of mid-Shevat. …you're gonna learn that February 1st replaces February 2nd. So, we're not waiting for Monday morning, February 2. We're waiting for Sunday morning, February 1. There's huge, massive proof of that. For now, until I can get to it, for now, just rejoice we’re a day closer.

@ 1:09:03 So, now comes the very greatest proof the 1335 comes in mid-Shevat and on the 15th, not the 16th. On, therefore, February 1st, what would be a Sunday morning here, not February 2nd, a Monday morning.

@ 22:06 Sort of like getting the 1335 out of the Kingdom and in front of it. You hafta to make sure that when you did that, you didn't build the 45-day kingdom in front of it. And the fact is, we did not, but I need to dissolve some of the things I thought were proofs.

“The Greatest Untold Story!” Series is wall-to-wall with what David C. Pack thought were proofs.

@ 40:30 I may not get everything right, but I come back around, and eventually, it's right, and it's clear.

@ 45:07 Now I can understand, and this is big that we're all fulfilling prophecy. It's one of the great proofs that we can't have very long.

Dave spent the majority of Part 616 reestablishing the three-kingdom structure by introducing a new 45-day First Kingdom, which he coined as the "Sour Grapes Kingdom." It was based on so much overwhelming biblical truth, inarguable proofs, and a correct understanding of the Bible that Dave recanted it seven days later.

@ 1:05:24 So there's no kingdom. You can just—I'm sorry you had to think for a for a whole week about a 45-day kingdom. I was tryin’ to figure this out. If you're trying to pin down what there has to be a year involved. Are we still waiting to March 18th somehow?

For a man who claims to fear God, he shows no fear of God as he continually credits the Almighty as the inspiration for RCG’s temporary doctrines. The most uncomfortable thing I experienced in The Restored Church of God was watching David C. Pack lie to the brethren during Sabbath Services, taking the Lord’s name in vain, bearing false witness, and blaspheming without hesitation.

During Part 617, Dave abandoned what he preached under God’s authority the week before. I wonder if he ever ponders the implications of publicly making his god a liar and a cruel trickster.

@ 03:25 God shocked me with sudden, massive evidence hidden in His word regarding the 1290 protection point in the Kingdom, not the 1335 days that would be to the Day of the Lord.

@ 1:26:39 It's incredible. It's incredible. It leaves me stunned. This brilliant Being. We serve the right God. This absolutely brilliant Being laid all of this out.

@ 1:30:44 It was a high hill to climb. But God just eventually said it was time to end the Mystery, because we're coming up on February 1st.

@ 1:47:02 So much was at stake in getting this right to the God who talks about trees all the time. You had to get it right, or you'd have chaos. You'd have confusion. God would have to establish it.

God is not motivating these doctrines. The Holy Spirit is not revealing any of these teachings. David C. Pack is a false teacher, a false apostle, and a false prophet inspired by his own thirst for legitimacy. The fruit of his works reveals the truth of this matter.

@ 1:56:09 More proofs of February 1 and and a few miscellaneous things will come next week. …Because the Kingdom begins Sunday morning. At least, Sunday morning our time.

The Pastor General cannot even be trusted with what he will do next week. The willfully blind joy and undeserved adulation from the All-Believing Zealots in The Restored Church of God were short-lived. One week later, the February 1 Kingdom bubble popped and vanished as quickly as Dave's credibility.

Part 618 – January 24, 2026
@ 1:00:31 We cannot be waiting for the middle of Shevat. It’s impossible.

Insert your favorite The Price is Right failure music here. And keep it on loop.

The brethren awaiting the kingdom their human idol preaches will not see it in Shevat or Abib or at any time henceforth. Holding on until the “next time” is how RCG brethren cope, and fewer are willing to do so. Four people left RCG this week, with more on the way. The trickle, trickle of tithe-payers out the door is a troublesome reality that even Dave cannot deny. More on that later.

Marc Cebrian

See: News Flash: The Kingdom Comes on February 1, 2026

I will Send Dave Pack To Restore All Things

 God promised he would send an end-time messenger, who is named David, to the world, and here he is! Woo Hoo!

Poor Bwana Bob. Here, he thought he was God's gift to humanity, and he has been usurped by Dave, of all people. Always the bridesmaid and never the bride.

Dave has restored the whole plan of prophecy and everything that had been lost since the Apostles.

He has restored ALL things.

During “The Greatest Untold Story! (Part 617)” on January 17, 2026, David C. Pack of The Restored Church of God explained how he fulfills the role of Elijah the Prophet mentioned in the Book of Malachi, who is sent by God to “restore all things.” 

When the Pastor General mentions Elijah or speaks of a biblical figure from the third-person perspective, he is referring to himself. RCG members are well aware of this. The green arrows assist when he appears to be speaking about someone else, but is in actuality, preaching about himself. 

This 13-minute video illustrates what The Restored Church of God teaches behind closed doors and does not want non-members to know. Despite the numerous videos and literature offered on the RCG website, none of the information taught on January 17, 2026, is available for public review. 

David C. Pack and the ministers at The Restored Church of God teach that these verses are about David C. Pack: 

Malachi 4:5—Behold, I will send you Elijah the prophet before the coming of the great and dreadful day of the LORD 

Matthew 17:11—And Jesus answered and said unto them, Elias truly shall first come, and restore all things. 

If you are interested in learning about the Elijah doctrines of The Restored Church of God, watch this compilation video: • David C. Pack Compilation – Elijah the Pro... 

All credit to former member Marc Cebrian for this compilation and description: exrcg.org

UCG, COGWA, LCG Leaders Meet For An Agape Love Fest

We sure do love to wax poetic on here about how tragically broken the various Churches of God have become, especially their spectacular inability to actually meet together and fellowship like—oh, I don't know—actual brethren in Christ. Recently, UCG (United Church of God) extended a gracious olive branch to COGWA (Church of God, a Worldwide Association) and LCG (Living Church of God). And lo and behold, they all solemnly nodded in agreement: yes, their members really do wish everyone could just be together again; yes, the endless splits have been painful, messy, and frankly exhausting.

They even managed to utter the magic words—we need to have agape love for one another. Touching, isn't it? Heartwarming, even. Yet somehow, despite all this profound recognition and these noble admissions, they willfully persist in keeping themselves neatly separated, each in their own little organizational fortress. Because nothing says "agape love" quite like maintaining doctrinal turf wars and separate Feast sites.

UCG has been kind enough to clarify that these high-level kumbaya sessions are strictly private affairs—leadership chatting behind closed doors, while the poor members (the ones who actually long to reunite) are left on the outside looking in, wondering why their heartfelt desires don't merit an invitation to the grown-ups' table. The pride and arrogance of the leaders continue to act as the world's most effective superglue, holding the divisions firmly in place. Meanwhile, they earnestly preach that everyone else should be filled to overflowing with agape love, mutual respect, and brotherly unity... as they all supposedly labor together for Jesus Christ.

Which brings us to the uncomfortable little question that really ought to be asked: Do they actually all work for Jesus Christ? The last forty years of schisms, power struggles, name changes, lawsuits, and fresh acronyms sprouting like weeds have a way of whispering a very different story—one that's far less flattering and a great deal more... human. But hey, at least the sermons still sound spiritual.

Mr. Elliott said he recently visited Mr. Gerald Weston and his staff at the Living Church of God offices in North Carolina. He has also recently spoken with Mr. Jim Franks at the COGWA offices. He mentioned that most of what we all do is done in triplicate, such as with offices, hall rentals, travel, and Feast sites, etc. Mr. Elliott assured everyone that while there is no desire to combine, it seems most members wish we were together. He then compared what has happened in some cases to a divorce in a family. He said such splits are painful, messy and are typically private interactions among a few leaders without members being fully aware or participating. He also mentioned that currently, the “children” of God wish for the “parents” to get back together. He said that, “it does not seem realistic at this point, so we all need to move forward, repenting and striving with agape love and respect for one another and the work we are performing for Jesus Christ.” 

 

He explained that Jesus desires that God’s children all be one (John 17:20-21), and he explained that while we are not all in a single corporation, at least we all need to be one in God and Jesus Christ by having an agape mindset. Let’s all help each other in striving to do just that, please.