Apostate Malm: Pagans Did It, You Can't!

Apostate Malm continues today about witchcraft and astrology.  Who is this source that he is getting his information from?  Another fired nut-job COG minister, Slick Willie Dankenbring.

Apostate Malm quotes Slick Willie on birthdays:

Though you look in the Bible from Genesis to Revelation, you will find no mention anywhere of any of the saints of God observing their birthdays. In fact, strange as it may seem to many, even the exact date of the birth of Jesus Christ is NOWHERE REVEALED in Scripture!

You can search the Bible from Genesis to Revelation you will find no mention of lots of things, yet we do them today.  Only legalistic cultists look for things hidden or actually not even there to make their rules and regulations.  How better to keep the sheep under control but to burden them with endless, useless irrelevant rules and regulations!

The plain truth is that birth day celebrations are only mentioned twice in the Scriptures — once in the Old Testament and once in the New Testament – and both times in reference to customs being observed by unconverted, pagan people — an Egyptian Pharaoh, and wicked king Herod!

Oh my!  These two dudes also ate food, danced, married, wore clothes, drank wine, went to the toilet, took baths, travelled, argued, read "books", breathed air, and even farted.  So because they did these things we should NOT be doing them today?  John the Baptists had his served up on a platter at a party/banquet.  Are we to not have parties and banquets today?  This just goes to show how Armstrongites make mountains out of mole hills.

Then Slick Willie moves on to astrology which is one of Armstrongism's bogeymen.

God Almighty says to the daughter of Babylon (Isa. 47:1), the great pagan religious deception which has engulfed the world, “Thou art wearied in the multitude of thy counsels. Let now the ASTROLOGERS, the star-gazers, the monthly prognosticators, stand up, and save thee from these things that shall come upon thee. Behold, they shall be as STUBBLE; the fire shall burn them; they shall not deliver themselves from the power of the flame” (Isaiah 47:13-14).

Slick Willie seems to forget that the Israelites and COGgers look to new moons, set their dates for religious observances by the moon, watch the rising and setting of the sun, practice numerology, and other things similar to the "pagans."  Apostate Malm and Prophet Thiel are huge believers in numerology.  They love to count numbers, set dates, and wallow in all kinds of speculations just as the sorcerers did.

The whole message of God is to teach us to humble ourselves, and to love our neighbor as we love ourselves – to get rid of ego and self-centeredness. Birthdays have the opposite effect. They concentrate the attention on the birthday person, glorifying him – not God – and exalting him – not God – and having people bring him presents. Thus paying “homage” to the birthday child. This is the height of conceit and fosters a spirit of get, selfishness, and self-worship. Self, self, self! The whole extravaganza creates pride and lofty conceit in selfishness in a child. The typical birthday party is therefore one of the deceptions of the devil, made to look attractive and nice on the outside, but full of wickedness on the inside.

Yet we were supposed to grovel at the feet of our humble Apostle (HWA), evangelists and pastors.  Men who were self-centered, narcissistic, egotistical, self-righteous and self-worshipping.  We were to be in awe of their presence and the words that spilled from their mouths. It was all about, ME, ME, ME!  Just look at Flurry, Pack, Weinland, Cox and Meredith.  It is all about them. Their words are the most significant words ever uttered on earth.  They are Elijah's, One of the Two Witnesses, God's Anointed, Apostles, Pastor Generals, etc.  Stand in awe and continue to be amazed!

Then in wondrous glory, Apostate Malm concludes with this STERN warning:

I say:
2 Cor 6:15 And what concord hath Christ with Belial? or what part hath he that believeth with an infidel?
¹⁶And what agreement hath the temple of God with idols? for ye are the temple of the living God; as God hath said, I will dwell in them, and walk in them; and I will be their God, and they shall be my people.
¹⁷Wherefore come out from among them, and be ye separate, saith the Lord, and touch not the unclean thing; and I will receive you.
¹⁸And will be a Father unto you, and ye shall be my sons and daughters, saith the Lord Almighty.

And I mean it!  Almighty God also means it!  We are NOT to indulge in the pagan practices of this world.  By partaking of the sins of this world; if we do we shall be corrected for our good by our God.

Nowhere in all the Bible is the birthday of ANY person of God revealed!  WHY?  Because are carnal nature would cause us to run off to celebrate that day.  We would then celebrate Christ Mass and saints days throughout the year!


If God wanted us to observe birthdays, then he would surely have t0ld us the birthday of Christ so that we could honour him in that fashion.  Instead we are told to honour him be observing the day of his DEATH!  And the day of his ascension to the Father to be accepted for us as our sacrifice and High Priest on Wave Offering Sunday!

The observance of Birthdays is so utterly wrapped up in paganism that we cannot avoid becoming polluted if we choose to observe them.  The only thing that can be done in good conscience before God is to simply acknowledge the passing of another year, while avoiding all the partying and pagan hype.

Dennis Says: "You Might Be a Preecher if..."

You Might Be a Preecher if...

In my own experience and in hindsight, sermonizing and preaching really accomplishes little in the lives of intelligent people.  My own "style" was to leave people having learned something they may not have known before. I enjoyed the comment, "I never knew that," or "No one ever explained that to me and I have always wondered about that."  Perhaps I was, at times a "we must, we should, we have to" sermonizer, but I repent!  :)  

For the most part, I never found preaching all that inspiring. How often I, as others sat through the sermons of others feeling somehow trapped in my seat and thinking, "yea, yeah...how long did it take you to think this up?"  How often did we "let's turn here and let's turn there," ourselves through an hour and half sermon.  It did not help me or inspire me much. 

The worst sermon I ever heard was given at a "Refresher," which were often exhausting but an evangelist who wanted to teach us all about marriage.  It was a 4 hour session.  He took the Nave's Topical Bible and read EVERY scripture on marriage with a running commentary on each from Genesis to revelation.  One one occasion, when I learned who was giving and what was being talked about in a session, I quietly got up and went to the Long Beach Rock and Mineral Show leaving my cohorts to suffer together. 

At any rate, now I live in Jesus Land and hear even worse preaching from sincere men who have even less background and education.  Here is how you can spot a minister of the Gospel all too often.

There is nothing more both hilarious and pathetic at times than to watch ministers inflict themselves upon the sheep and public. These men, and they are mostly men, aren't pastors, but rather are Preeeeechers. These men are usually self appointed and thus accountable to no one or are approved of by those who also have something to gain by being in their magnificent shadow.

They have little or no real theological training having only attended a fundamentalist school where they learned not theology, but conformity to some already established guru. It is there job merely to let others drill a hole in their head, insert the funnel and pour predetermined, never changing, never updated information into their heads. After a few years, they are "ordained" to go and repeat everything they were taught by the denomination, or risk getting fired.

They are the kind of men, and I know not just a few, who will say "I know you are right, but if I try to teach that, I'll lose my job." That's the pathetic part. On the other hand, many Preechers also will quickly tell you how off base you are since he disagrees with you, and you are going to hell with that attitude or perspective. Judging the human heart is an art form with Preechers, and getting defensive when questioned is what they do best.

Preechers, as opposed to Pastors, are easy to spot, as are their specially selected Elders and Deacons. Here are the sure fire things you will find when you have indeed run across a Preecher instead of a Pastor or a man or woman with a heart for ministry, caretaking and healing.

1. When they enter the room, they just look like a preecher. They wear suits when everyone else is casual. They look serious, when everyone else is happy and glance around often to see if everyone notices "they" are here. When they speak, it's loud and draws attention to their having entered the room.

2. They have great hair. Preechers don't have brush cuts. They have meticulously combed hair. If it is shorter, it is reminiscent of the 5o's and if long, it is swept back on the sides and top, perfect and almost helmet like.

3. They always carry a really big Bible under the arm or grasped tightly in one hand like you'd hold a gun. The pocket editions never seems to occur to them.

4. No matter the occasion, someone's wedding, funeral or party, they want the attention. They can't just be there, they HAVE to speak.

5. Preechers get upset when there is no ministerial parking at the hospital. They have busy fifteen hour weeks and can't just park with the masses. In such cases, simply ask them where would Jesus park, and the problem usually resolves itself.

6. They drive really spiffy cars. No used chariots here. It has to be a preecher car. Usually a large car which he "needs" for all the visiting he says he does. The car is usually dark to give the appropriate serious feeling as in "Mom, the preecher's here." A hip preecher might opt for yellow or red, but he'd have to be preeeeching at a yuppie break away church that prides itself in authenticity of spirit. You know the kind of place where no one dresses up and come as you as is the rule.

7. They talk loud when normal will do. A preecher goes nuts in the pulpit speaking. His voice changes, he bounces in a funny way on his heels and adopts a cadence that only the preeecher could come up with. He's usually angry and uses scriptures to let you have it. You can spot a preecher by the one fact that he speaks from the pulpit in a way that would get him fired in the real world of work or sent to a mental hospital or the circus. A preecher can also give opinions and say things behind the pulpit, as long as he sounds religious or proof texts his way through the harangue, in ways that would get you sued, fired, or scored. He can also come up with some of the most amazing foolishness right out of the Bible for you to try to apply in your real life.

8. A Preecher usually just can't stand you not knowing who he is. When he calls a store or professional office, he usually will say, "This is Pastor Bobby Bouncy, of the Grace International Baptist Church in Pumpkintown..." They can't stand either on the phone or in public for you not to know how important they are and how much you need to pay attention to what they are about to say or ask for.

9. Every third sermon is on tithing and if you want to have really successful Christian finances, you will give more as God loves a cheerful giver, good measure, pressed down and overflowing. If you don't tithe...

10. The Preeeeecher won't let you have your dad's funeral in the church or your niece's wedding if he has no record of your tithing. He might show up at the funeral home or someone else's hall to do a ceremony, but he will want to be paid.

11. The Preecher's wife looks absolutely beat down. You sense that there used to be a really nice woman in there somewhere, but she has long since died in service to the family,church and of course...the Preecher. If she is a hottie, then you know he married her to enhance his status as Preecher with the guys. It may also be if she is frumpy and outdated, the Preecher has read her every idea the unmarried, no kids Apostle Paul could dream up with regard to marriage, sex and child rearing. She lost her true self long ago. The Preecher's wife misses a lot of church and is sick a lot.

12. The Preecher's kids are "beautiful" no matter what. A real preecher will humiliate them with stories from the pulpit of how HE had to discipline them and what they will and won't be doing or believing. Their chance at being an authentic human being is slim unless they break away and resist being groomed for the same school mom and dad went to. This would be the only true school where Jesus attended and taught and where the only true God made weekly appearances. The Preecher just knows all other schools are where Satan goes.

13. A Preecher will mind your own business for you.

14. People will say "did you see Preecher Bobby was even cutting wood with us", or "The Preecher was right in there helping the rest of us (peasants)." A preecher gets extra credit for doing what most people normally do and for helping out where most would help out without being noticed. This is because, in fact, the Preecher is special and when a special person does mundane things, it's...well special.

15. A true Preecher has special places where he sits at public functions. He usually surrounds himself with the elders and deacons he personally ordained, as they think the most like himself and know how to provide his narcissistic supply.

16. Preechers just give the impression they ain't like us. Some over came some human foible in the past and just know that's why they are supposed to preach. Being a Preecher is still one the few remaining lucrative jobs a man can get with little education, few credentials and no common sense. As long as the man can read, tell stories and keep his personality in tact, he qualifies in Preecher land. He only needs to know what the Bible says. The grasp of the history, background, intent and meaning of scripture is not a necessary trait. He's a master at quoting what benefits him from the Old Testament and skipping the embarrassing or obviously outdated and irrelevant parts. A Preecher hates a smart ass kid asking sound theological questions of him that he can't answer.

17. A real Preecher expects "professional courtesy" to be extended to him and his family. You know, discounts from local merchants, though now more a thing of the past in most places, and free help to put a new room or roof on his home because he is "The Preecher." His catatonic wife will supply the "free" lunch to the workers, who can't believe that the Preecher's wife actually made lunch for THEM. Wow!

18. When a member needs a free roof put on their home, the Preecher will check the tithing records before dispatching the work party. He might show up the first hour, but then has to go about the Lord's business.

19. A Preecher makes work for himself by offending half the congregation every week and keeping the political pot well stirred so he has sermon topics and reasons for visits. He makes up projects that don't need doing and has meetings on topics he wants the Sheep bullied into. If you don't participate in his make work projects, you'll never be a deacon or elder.

20. A true Preecher has no tolerance for anyone missing church or a Bible study, and numbers are VERY important to him. If your dad, who was not a member of his Church, dies, you feel a bit guilty for missing Preecher Bobby's sermon and of course, 'ol Bobby won't be doing the funeral.

21. Finally, You can tell you have a Preecher, as opposed to an authentic, nicely educated and compassionate Pastor, when the man can never look you or a congregation in the eye and say "I'm sorry, I was wrong." A Preecher is NEVER wrong.

Oh wait, wait!

22. You know you're in trouble when the Preecher decides that he is not JUST a Preecher. He convinces you he is an Evangelist, Apostle, The Apostle or maybe even one of the Two Witnesses, if not both.

23. Lastly you can tell if a man is a preecher if, when he dies unexpectedly or messes up morally, the whole church tanks as he has made no plans for the future beyond his own future, which is now in the past. He has held it together by force of personality, and when he is gone, it's all gone.

Addendum:

How can you spot a Preecher's deacon's and elders?

1. The deacon's ordained by the Preecher now want their friends to call them Mr. and stop the serving they were doing previous to ordination and order you to do it.

2. The Elder ordained by the Preecher can't remember your name and makes you feel funny asking him over anymore, sensing he is now some sort of Jesus Land Security employee.

There are many dedicated, loving and compassionate Pastors in Christianity, it is not of these men and women I speak.

Dennis C. Diehl

DenniscDiehl@aol.com

Are You Practicing Witchcraft in the COG's? The Apostle Thinks So!

According to Apostle Malm marrying outside the Church is a sign of WITCHCRAFT......along with everything else in the world. 

Break a commandment and you are committing...WITCHCRAFT!

Brethren to do what you know is against God’s commandments; and to attempt to justify it as Saul did IS  rebellion against God: IT IS A FORM OF WITCHCRAFT!

When UCG states that marriages outside the faith are condemned in the scripture; but if you want to do it, that’s alright with us. When they say that they will support any elder who is comfortable in conducting such a ceremony: They are practicing the same kind of rebellion as Saul did!!!   This  is witchcraft!

Celebrate a birthday...WITCHCRAFT!  When you light those candles the burning flames carry your prayers to the Satan!

The elders in UCG and those that formed COGWA are strongly supportive of birthday celebrations.  While the years do pass and we do get older; should we really celebrate the passage of the years by pagan methods involving witchcraft?

Should we close our eyes making a wish [offering a prayer] over burning candles so that the prayer will ascend to the spirits in the fire and smoke as is done in witchcraft?  Should we party with a gathering of our friends as the pagans did and do; this done to pacify the demons to guarantee a good year?

So in order to stop this vile practice of WITCHCRAFT the apostle is instituting a new way to keep birthdays...

Some food for thought: Is it scriptural to exalt the child?  or for the child to honour the parent?  As parents we dote on our children daily; if we were to acknowledge a  birthday; would it not be better and more godly for the child to honour their parents by thanking them for all they have done for the child; including giving them life and the all that they have.   This world with its rebellious nature does the opposite of what is godly;  why participate in its errors?

Part of the reason you cannot keep your birthday is that you are too stupid to know exactly when you were born.  Pagans have influenced our calendar, witches, demons and Samuel LeVay have taken over birthdays now and use the calendar according to their will, thereby making it invalid.

In LaVeyan Satanism, birthdays are considered holy days and are ranked as the most important holy day of the year for the person concerned, as a time when the gods will grant requests.  The Satanic Bible says that each individual is a god and therefore one’s own birthday is the birth of a god.  This is the basic lie of Satan in the garden that we are all gods if we decide right from wrong on our own.

And this is only from Part 1 of his screed: http://theshininglight.info/?p=4740