Dennis Muses on a Sunday Morning

1,  2,  3,  ____

 

Before pastoring in and for the Worldwide Church of God, I did not know what either depression or anxiety was.  When the Receivership drama hit in the late 70's, I believe that is where it began to present itself to me and any tendencies I may have had towards such episodes and reactions to life's circumstances.   The first medical experience I had with solving it ended up with my being told, "you'll be on these meds the rest of your life."  Ummm...no.   I have issues that need to be faced and resolved and when they get put in their proper perspective, I won't feel as I feel and won't be stuck.  That proved to be the truth and it did not come from thinking.  It was a gut reaction.

These are not easy topics to speak about.  Well they are if one is being generic and has no actual experience with it, but when it is personal, the first reaction is that others will think one is weak. But now I know how many human beings feel and struggle the same way.  Back then I did not. What good is an experience if you don't share the insights?   In religion and in the Church of God, you "lack faith" or need to get closer to God in some way if you suffer depression or anxiety.  Nonsense of course, but it is effective in promoting the guilt (I did a bad thing) and shame (I am a bad person) that often goes with the turf of religious practice.  Coping with change and events can be challenging with all the things that are at stake in this world. It's ok to need help.  It is a wise person in this day and age who has a personal counselor who actually knows how it all works. 


 My first conscious experience with this dual demon of depression and anxiety came in the late 70's when the WCG went into Receivership.  I knew in my soul when the Receivership hit that the Church and the Armstrongs were  to blame and deserved it.  I didn't want to believe it but in my gut, I knew it was true.  It was not an attack against religion.  It was not government persecuting a church for its beliefs.  It was no angry Satan attacking Herbert W Armstrong for preaching truth.  It was a legitimate concern government and those affected by the WCG and HWA had about the organization and what was going on with it.  It's when I went into my leave me alone shell and simple tried to be the best local pastor I could be.   I still believed the message.  It was the messengers I was having problems taking seriously


At any rate, quietly and insidiously it ate away at me.  It was the first time I wished I had made other choices but the die seemed to have been cast.  One thing lead to another and the many things I knew or heard behind the scenes began to take their toll.  Once transferred for the last time , it broke through and I ended up having to address the depression, which in hindsight was really my internalized and repressed anger with no place to go safely or effectively, had to be addressed. 


n the course of "treatment" I was asked to take a simple 18 question test.  No problem.  here is how it went.


1.  1, 2, 3 __________


2.  1a, 2b, 3c 4______

 

3.  .....and so on.

 

My first thoughts were they thought I was stupid or retarded.  My second thought was along the lines of wondering what the hell was going on and how did I get to this point.  Was basket weaving next?


Question 18 looked something like this.

 

18.  23k547bbl38r844pcy , 35u835hcj92r022 ecy, 15x586wwx99x558 mnw, ___________

 

I could see the answer in my mind.  But when I tried to write it down, I lost it.  It was the only one I missed.

 

When I went back for a "chat" with my counselor he told me I did very well.  I smiled because it was the first thing that felt good in a long time.  Then he cut me to the bone.  "Dennis...it is no great honor to be the most intelligent guy in a mental hospital."  (It was a Charter Facility)



I just stared at him. It was one of those moments where you know someone is right but you want them to say something more kind and helpful than that.  It was then I realized that lots of folk who struggle with such things are very intelligent.  It was the first time I realized it didn't matter if one used it badly or it simply caused one's head to spin with thoughts that lead to depression, which is the anger at the past unresolved or anxiety which seems all about future fears and concerns. 

 

We/I  had to do another little experiment in the program.  A standard wooden pallet was in the middle of the room.  There were about 10 of us and given the simple task of all getting on the pallet with no feet touching the floor.  Great!   Now I'm a complete idiot (You have to recall I grew up visiting a State Hospital every week where my brother, blind, deaf and speechless lived).   Now I was going to prove I was handicapped!   We did as instructed and the counselor said, "Ok , let's go back and talk about this."   Sure, fine.   I was not in a good mood.



 

The counselor asked one question of the group to consider.  "Tell me where you were on the pallet.  The center, the inside or the outside.   Got me!  I woke up a bit more forever.  I was on the outside with my arms out holding everyone on the pallet.  He asked me if I had the thought of stepping off the pallet so others had room?  Got me!  "yes."    He said we had to work on that but I got the point and it was a life lesson never to be forgotten. 

 

What's the point?  Going back to "It is no great honor being the most intelligent guy in a mental facility,"  I see the same thing going on with Dave Pack and his Restored Church of God.  I think you know I have little use for the one man show in church and religion.  It is too dangerous and to think one man would be allowed to filter my world of experience and thought , hopes and faith through his mind is obscene to me.  RCG members allow it all the time. It's why we write about thinking for one's self and not letting others filter your experience through  their own baggage or way of being and seeing.  

 

Dave Pack is an intelligent man in many ways but not theologically and I think most here know what I mean by that from previous comments of mine on the topic.  He, like most in the Church of God ministry, are mere Bible readers and commentators.  He just does it well.  Bob Thiel and Gerald Flurry do not do it all that well. That is not the same, however,  as being theologically trained or competent.   He is an excellent speaker and can present material very well.  Not to me personally of course, as his presentations are almost humorous to me knowing what he is actually doing or how he really does not understand the origins and intent of the original material he now presents, but that's a different topic. 

 

Dave seems both "intelligent" and clever.  Clever is the devious part of intelligence and not a good combo.  Clever always falls to reality and truth.  It serves a short term purpose but clever always ends up biting you in the ass. Clever is what Dave being forced to use now to keep his Haggai Prophecy alive and kicking.  Those outside the sphere of clever influence can see it clear as day. Those inside the circle tend to not see it and excuse it when they do.  You have to be good at that gut stirring denial in the Churches of God at times.  I was.



In some ways, I feel sorry for the man.  The excuse making, rewriting, editing and blame placing where it does not actually belong is a common approach those given to hyperbole and theological nonsense end up perfecting when the excrement hits the rotating device.  In religion you always get to say "God is revealing more,"  "Rejoice!  We have more time," or in Dave's case, "The Prophecy stands true.  It is the timing that "we" i.e. "he"  did not understand.   In my world we call that "Weinlanding."     You actually crash but you survive saying, "any landing you survive is a good landing."

 

"Apostle" Dave is intelligent.  He is clever.  He is persuasive sorta depending.  He is driven.  He reads well.  He can make up many points to be known.  He copies HWA very well.  I think he is sincere and really believes he is spoken of in scripture.   "Apostle" Dave Pack is the most clever and "intelligent" guy in the Wild World of God mental facility.

 

 

But let me pass a life lesson on to you Dave...

 

 

"It is no great honor to be the most intelligent guy in a mental health facility."

 

I'd also be curious to know where you'd end up on the pallet...  In the middle or on perimeter?  I doubt it would be anyplace in between. 

David C. Pack: Where You Choose To Wait For My Prophecy To Come True Could Be Deadly

David C. Pack just cannot get it through his head that NO ONE in the hundreds of COG's came over to his side this past weekend.  Your failure to really trust in his god caused you to deny his god and your salvation is now at risk.  If you stay in your current COG waiting to see what happens, you are destroying your chance of salvation.    David seems to be saying, "It is better to come on over to the dark side, even if I am wrong than to stay where you are and give your money to them.  Its my money and it belongs to me.  Your questions and fears should not be part of the equation.  I am incapable of being wrong, trust me, it will be OK in the end."

Lacking the prophecy’s fulfillment, having vested themselves in the announced date, some brethren outside The Restored Church of God are surely wondering what to do now. You face a choice: wait inside God’s Church and Work—or outside…

If you stay where you are, you have chosen to continue under false leaders in a place of division and deception, one drenched in false doctrine and under a false government, all while witnessing accelerating collapse around you. Of course, some may just go home. Unavailable to you will be healings, blessings and almost daily exciting announcements of God’s Church and Work. (Just view our “Behind the Work” film right after the Feast of Tabernacles to see the sharp contrast with your group.) Or would you rather support the exciting Work of God being done in His Church, under His government, in His full truth, while experiencing the peace, joy, love and unity only possible in one Church?

The only real alternative you have is to follow Christ’s Spirit back to His Church.

Think hard about what you will do. You do not need to wait until our next “Fruits” letter highlights how we continue to explode in growth and the reach of the Work while other groups do not. You need not miss out.

Do not stake your salvation on the timing of the Haggai/Zechariah prophecy. I repeat a final time. The prophecy is TRUE. Just next week’s announcement will inspire you beyond belief—it is way beyond what you could imagine! Don’t miss it!

David C. Pack: I Join With The Apostles In Their Prophetic Failures

Davey, the worlds most mind boggling COG leader ever to exist since Jesus Christ, now has placed himself on par with the Apostles.  Dream on little guy, dream on!

Davey says, "I could not deny the nightmare that I had and I just HAD to share it with you all.  Don't blame me because my god pulled a fast one on me."

I join the apostles who misunderstood certain prophetic timelines. (But so have all of you old-timers in the Church done the same.) I could not deny what appeared to be the obvious year of this incredibly unique prophecy—unlike all others where one could not know the year, such as the day of Christ’s return. With one of my roles to warn God’s people, I could not just pass over the timing-related elements of the prophecy. The prophecy carried a certain urgency. Think of Haggai 1:4, 5, 7 and 8 and God’s instruction to the remnant. Many things pointed to this taking place soon. (Just think of the many events occurring in the world that cry out for a big, unified Work!) You will learn after the Feast whether this is still true.