Whitewashing the Hurricane that was near Jekyll Island. Putting Church Members Lives At Risk

Whitewashing the Hurricane that was near Jekyll Island. Don't complain about it either! We were in the campground that year. Had to sleep in our car for several nights. The campground was flooded. Our tent was flooded. Some tents were blown away. A camper's trailer had a tree fall across it and was destroyed. Dad was worried the water was going to get high enough to come in the car. Yet, this article only paints one person which had problems. Of course, the man was in a bad attitude, hadn't been doing his personal bible study or prayers, and cheated on his 2nd tithe.

Good News; August 1966, article: Is God All Powerful?

"...Let’s go back to the poor fellow who, with his whole family, got rained out during the rainstorm in Jekyll Island. His was the only family that I recall that had any real problem as a result of the rainstorm! Some of the rest got a little wet, but they quickly recovered and had their camp back to normal in a short time.

The poor fellow with the “real problems” spent his time, when it wasn’t raining, complaining! Something was wrong with his tent, it was an inferior quality, the rain was too wet! Patiently, the camp directors and fellow campers assisted this man and his family to become comfortable. The camp director explained that with any sudden downpours of this magnitude the tent needs additional protection.

Even the big commercial tent that we rent for Jekyll Island leaked in that rain. They told him that he needed to “ditch” his tent so that the water would run off away from the tent, not in the tent. He was also told that his tent should have a piece of 10 x 17 plastic over the top, then the tent would shed water like a duck during these abnormally heavy downpours! As a matter of fact, the camp director even offered to drive him over to Brunswick to purchase this inexpensive plastic.

But-he was too busy complaining! '...He didn’t need the plastic and didn’t want to bother to “ditch” the tent. Soon another storm blew up. There was a repetition of the first. He and his family got drenched for the second time! Loving brethren took them in again and dried off the little kiddies.

Again there was peace and calm and then, of all things, it happened the third time!

That was the last straw ! He demanded to talk to the head of “this outfit this tent is worthless.” He got as far as me-still complaining! I gave him his money back!! It was hopeless to try to help him. He wasn’t about to understand or come through with “Works !”

It makes you wonder how far behind in Bible study and prayer this individual was-or whether he had borrowed from his second tithe!..."

reprinted with permission from Facebook 

No Lazy Days of Summer Ahead For Philadelphia Church of God Children!

Leave it to a Church of God to control every aspect of one's life.  Forget about free time, you must read the apostles messages. books and articles.  How dare you lay around and enjoy a few days of not doing a damn thing!

Dennis Leap, the creepy Philadelphia Church of God minister, has this to say to any PCG members who might dare lay around on the front porch swing and do nothing this summer, particularly if it is a child.

“Roll out those lazy, hazy, crazy days of summer—those days of soda and pretzels and beer—roll out those lazy, hazy, crazy days of summer—dust off the sun and moon and sing a song of cheer ….” So goes the refrain from a song made popular by Nat King Cole in the early 1960s. This refrain and the words of the song reflects the spirit of how most people plan to spend their summer months—being lazy and acting crazy.

When God saw fit to bring my wife and me into His Church, we learned that God designed the summer months for fruitful, joyful, productive and positive work! Think about it. Being lazy and crazy isn’t part of God’s plan any time of the year.

What about you? Are you allowing a song like “Those Lazy, Hazy, Crazy Days of Summer” guide your plans for the summer? More importantly, are you letting a song like that guide your plans for your children’s summer? 

Even the children of PCG cannot be lazy:

Herbert W. Armstrong taught God’s people how to approach the summer months when he established the Summer Education Program (sep). These summer camps, conducted in beautiful outdoor settings, emphasized education. Campers were not permitted to be lazy or crazy. Mr. Gerald Flurry raised the ruins of sep by sponsoring Philadelphia Youth Camp (pyc). 

Summer is a time for education. Don’t let the productive months of summer get away from you and your children. Parents, get an education program started—today! It is really not that difficult to start and maintain an effective summer education program for your children—even your toddlers. 

Isolate those young children and toddlers inside in the mornings to do their required 1 hour of prayer and another hour of Bible Study.  What the hell?  What child needs to do this every day of the week? 

Set a goal to read and discuss several proverbs every day. You should do some preparation to find the proverbs that most apply to your child’s specific needs or to events that have happened within the family recently. 

At least Creepy Leap says to take your children out into nature in the summer.

There is nothing more inspiring, relaxing or rejuvenating than camping along with fishing, hiking or swimming in lakes located in wild, unspoiled nature. The immense vistas of mountains, big skies and star-studded nights show the bigness and giving spirit of God. Teach your child that God wants to give him or her the best of everything. God’s stunning creation demonstrates this fact better than anything a man could come up with. 

Your children should read during the summer too.  Not a bad idea until you see the appalling second paragraph below:

To promote the habit of reading, take your children on trips to your public library. Help them pick out several interesting books to read for the coming week. Be sure to encourage them to choose non-fiction books and only the finest fiction. Most public libraries maintain collections of both. Some of the best non-fiction books for children are biographies and autobiographies. The better biographies and autobiographies, such as Benjamin Franklin’s, will help your children learn from the examples of others.

Older children should be encouraged to include in their list of reading Church booklets, such as Pagan Holidays—or God’s Holy Days—Which?, The Ten Commandments and Which Day Is the Christian Sabbath? 

Most adults don't want to read this crap, let alone force your kids to do it!  Every single one of those booklets is doctrinally unsound and poorly researched, oh wait...copied from Herbert Armstrong's poorly researched and doctrinally unsound booklets.

Another thing Creepy Leap says to do is put your child to work.  Do like PCG does and use them as free slave labor at the cult compound in Edmond, Oklahoma.

One of the most important activities at pyc is called “campus improvement.” This activity provides each dorm an opportunity to work at improving God’s campus. It is thrilling for the campers to have that hands-on experience at headquarters. There is an important lesson for all parents here. Learning how to work effectively and hard is one of the most important parts of education. God the Father and Jesus Christ are workers (John 5:17). This summer, teach your child to work.

If your child doesn't do the job well, make them do it over and over and over till they get it right. Always remind them that if they don't work, they don't eat!

When your child completes a task you require of them, be sure to check their effort. If his or her work is not up to par, make them do it until it is. Remember, your child will have an employer some day. I never had a boss that was as easy as my mother. When your child goes to work, he won’t either. You do not need to feel obligated to always pay your child for summer work. Remind them this is part of their summer education program. “[I]f any would not work, neither should he eat,” Paul taught the Thessalonians (2 Thessalonians 3:10). My father enforced this lesson regularly with my brothers and me when we were living under his roof. 

Children in Armstrongism were robbed of the ability to be a child.  They were and still are required to emulate their ministers and act like mini-adults.  Childhood innocence is sorely frowned upon and is even considered demonic.  If your children dare cross any of the leader's paths you too can take them to the local mall and dump them so Child Services can take care of them.  then, you can give all that money you have been wasting on your kids and give it to the FLurry's

Divorced Wanna-be COG Prophet Lectures Church on Marriage and Proper Christian Sex

Of all the hundreds and hundreds of names the Church of God has added to its moniker, none of them have ever called themselves the Sexy Church of God, or the Sexless Church of God or the Church of God in Sex.  They really should though, as much as so many of their tired old leaders talk about it.

Today we have the divorced Official Church of God Pharisee lecturing the church on what proper marriage is and how to have Christian sex.  Why is it that all of the COG leaders who screech and yell about sex are either prolific bed-hoppers, divorced or sexually repressed?  Have any of them had a normal marriage?

James Malm, as usual, is parked at his kitchen table cranking out more demands for his few followers to keep, even though he soon expects his message to reunite the church into one big happy legalistic fairytale.

After talking about how men and women should refrain from sex before marriage to keep themselves pure for their marriage to Jesus, he lays down how his followers who do get married as to how they should be having sex, including penetration.  Ouch!

Keys to good sex  

Always remember that good sex begins when we wake up in the morning, because a great marriage makes for good sex. 

1. Do not expect a spouse to be in the mood if the day was filled with offenses or high stress  
2. Begin in the morning by committing oneself to live through the day avoiding offenses and always acting for the best interests of the family 
3. Through the day be kind, considerate, helpful, affectionate  
4. Remember to touch, a loving caress or a big hug and a kiss on the neck can be most encouraging
5. Handle problems or worries as they come up and do not allow many worries to build up into high stress
6. Be cleanly, remember that cleanliness is next to godliness and a dirty or malodorous body is a big turn off; and remember that you are used to your own smell and may not notice an odor which is very offensive to others, so shower whether you think you need to or not  
7. Make time to spend time with one another.  There may be times for a quickie, but spending an hour or two making each other feel loved on a regular basis is very important

The main principle to guide any sexual [or any other] activity in marriage is that the act be one of deep love and concern for the other.  

Helpful tips  (For the FIRST time)

The wedding night should be a tremendous delight and should be an absolutely positive beginning to any marriage.  Unfortunately it is often the case that virgins view the wedding night with unneeded concern and trepidation.  The groom may fear that he will be unable to penetrate, while the bride may fear that she will suffer pain or even damage.  These fears are unfounded if only people understood how to perform the initial act.  

Quite simply the groom should first engage in significant foreplay and then penetrate with one finger which will be relatively painless and will do no damage.  When the bride is comfortable use two fingers and then three, after which penetration by the husband will be easy, painless and most pleasurable for both.  The lady should NOT do this herself but give this pleasure to her husband so that he will know without doubt that he is the first and only one.  

This knowledge will remove all fears and will make the wedding night a wonderful pleasure for both bride and groom and a tremendously wonderful beginning of a lifetime of love and loyalty for one another. 

So how often should a married couple have sex? The Pharisee did get one point right:

How often? 

As often as the couple wants!  The husband and wife should enjoy one another to the full.

Some people have stronger drives than others and it would be wise to discuss this point when contemplating marriage. 

But don't get too wild in the bedroom (or kitchen), anal sex is out!

No couple need deprive themselves of the blessings of pleasing their spouses whenever the need runs high, just because someone else has decided for them what he thinks they should be doing or not doing. Anal sex is wrong because it damages the body and exposes one to disease, otherwise what any couple does for each other in their marriage or how often is NOBODY else’s business.  

Without a very good reason the wife should not refuse her husband and the husband must not refuse his wife; lest they be tempted astray.

The Pharisee even talks about lubricants.  Since he is tooooooo cheap to buy quality lubricants he recommends baby oil!  Apparently, this moron is not aware that baby oil should NOT be used inside the body.  Never fear though, when they cheap bottle of baby oil is not handy the women is supposed to "simply place some of her saliva on her husband’s organ."  Oh, the fun that could come from this!

Possible problems during the marriage

Sex is intended to be delightful for both spouses, therefore if a wife experiences discomfort or pain she should seek medical advice. 

There are a variety of problems, most of which can be easily corrected if caught early.  The important thing is to catch them as early as possible.  

One such problem could be the common simple yeast infection.  One of the causes of yeast infections is the simple bath.  When we sit in the bath we are siting in water that is becoming dirty as we wash and also filled with soap scum which is alkaline and promotes yeast growth.  It is far better to shower; as in the shower the dirt and soap is washed away and down the drain, and we are not sitting in contaminated water for 15 minutes or more.

Occasionally natural lubrication fails for a time.  In that case there are many sex lubricants out there for a significant price.  The best kept secret among lubricants and by far the cheapest is simple scent free baby oil.  The price is kept very low since it is made for babies, but it is an ideal lubricant for intercourse.  The age old lubrication method is for the lady to simply place some of her saliva on her husband’s organ.

So now that you know how to be frisky in bed, within limits, of course, it is time to learn how to get pregnant. Then once pregnant and ready to deliver you should be standing so the baby can just plop out with gravity.

Child bearing

To maximize the potential for pregnancy the wife should not stand up for at least an hour after intercourse to prevent gravity from working against her.

A wife’s orgasm is not necessary for conception, although it does help measurably.  The contraction of the involved muscles causes the uterus to draw sperm up into itself.

In childbirth, it is very important that a woman not lie down during labor.  She should sit is a reclining position as far as is possible and take frequent periods of standing [supported by others] to allow gravity to aid the process.

It is modern medicine with their beds and stirrups for the convenience of physicians which has caused people to lose sight of the powerful physical agency of  GRAVITY:  Let it work for you and do not try and work against it by lying down through labor and birthing.

It is natural to want to lie down because of discomfort and pain; but sitting in a reclining position will speed the process considerably and will actually help open the birth canal for delivery.

While not all of this is bad advice, it is still NOT the place for some self-serving self-righteous church guru giving such advice. 

The Chief Pharisee also has to speak out about menstruation.  If he had his way women would be banished to menstruation huts like a couple other nutjobs Church of God gurus have proclaimed in the past.  Menstruating women are unclean and defiled before h

Biblical rules regarding sexual conduct 

An unclean person cannot enter into the presence of God [the tabernacle or temple] since uncleanness is an allegory of being defiled by sin.  

From the onset of menstruation the lady must be left alone until sunset, and then for a seven full days until the seventh sunset.  Late on the seventh day the affected person is to wash herself and her bedding and at sunset she shall be clean.  

God tells Ezekiel plainly that sexual intercourse with a menstruous woman is forbidden.

After the baby is delivered, and if it is a male, the scissors are required!  Cut that thing!

The Pharisee writes:

We are commanded to circumcise our sons on the eighth day of their life.  The mother is to be unclean for seven days and the eighth day represents a new beginning.

Circumcision removes a piece of skin covering a most sensitive area and is an allegory of the removal of the sin that separates people from God, making people sensitive to the whole Word of God.

Physical circumcision is an allegory of the spiritual circumcision of the heart which is sincere repentance. 

Circumcision of the flesh is an allegory of circumcision of the heart which is sincere repentance and the application of the sacrifice of Christ; which truly removes the barrier of sin and reconciles the sincerely repentant to God the Father.

After the mother delivers the baby, she must be isolated from other people for 40 days.  She is unclean and must be purified.

After the first seven days of seclusion the mother must remain in seclusion for another 33 days making a total of 40 days in seclusion.  The forty days is the period of purifying before entering the tabernacle, temple or any holy place. 

Such a seclusion is of great benefit to the mother and child; giving them time in a close family home environment to bond and to recover from the birth and develop immunity to disease.  Breast feeding is highly important for this bonding and natural immunization process. 

God forbid if the mother delivered a baby girl! Damnation and tarnation are in store!

If the child is female the mother’s separation is double that of a male child

66 days plus two weeks is 80 days. 

We make these specified sacrificial offerings today by going to God the Father in prayer and asking that the sacrifice of Christ be applied to us and to the child, setting apart the child through our faithfulness and asking for an understanding of these things.

The sin offering for the mother represents the application of Christ’s sacrifice for the repentant obedient woman: And a burnt offering pictures wholehearted faithful service to God the Father and Jesus Christ. 

The woman is commanded to reproduce, and childbearing is a great service to God the Father because a woman gave birth to Messiah the Christ, the Deliverer of humanity. 

So there you have it, the Pharisaical way of having sex. So go get some cheap baby oil and get frisky!