For decades now there have been endless reports of spiritual abuse in the Churches of God. Many diehard believers fluff it off as nothing more than holding members accountable so that they can make it into the kingdom. They much prefer sticking their heads in the sand than taking a stand and holding the leaders accountable.
We have gone from Herbert Armstrong beating the podium and yelling at members that they don't understand to today's men like Gerald Flury and Dave Pack yelling at members and the youth. It is worse for the youth because they have no outlet to process this abuse. Unless they have a wise parent that takes them away from the abuse, they are stuck in an abusive cycle endlessly hearing how bad they are.
For decades church members were told that they were worms in the sight of God and unworthy to be in his presence. That is why Passover is so important to abusive leaders. They could humiliate and abuse members that their actions to this very day crucify Christ and make them unworthy.
Other times church leaders loved to quote the story about the crumbs under the table that were fit for the dogs and praised the woman for claiming that she was worthy to have those crumbs. Instead of telling members that they already have a place AT the table, instead of under it, COG leaders continue to suppress and devalue members.
Spiritual abuse is hard to point out at times, but here are some good descriptions of it:
Spiritual abuse, then, is when a spiritual leader— such as a pastor, elder, or head of a Christian organization — wields his position of spiritual authority in such a way that he manipulates, domineers, bullies, and intimidates those under him, as a means of accomplishing what he takes to be biblical and/or spiritual goals. Michael Kruger
Spiritual abuse might include: manipulation and exploitation, accountability enforced by threats, censorship of decision-making, coercion to conform, and the inability to ask questions or voice disagreement. Beth Ann Baus
Spiritual abuse occurs when an oppressor establishes control and domination by using Scripture, doctrine or his “leadership role” as a weapon. This form of abuse can be subtle, because it can mask itself as religious practice. Darby Strickland
The word spiritual refers to something affecting a human spirit or soul. Abuse means to mistreat another, to deceive or do harm. When we use the word spiritual to describe abuse, we are talking about using that which is sacred—including God’s Word—to control, misuse, deceive, or damage a person created in his image. Diane Langberg
‘Spiritual abuse is coercion and control of one individual by another in a spiritual context. The target experiences spiritual abuse as a deeply emotional personal attack. This abuse may include: manipulation and exploitation, enforced accountability, censorship of decision making, requirements for secrecy and silence, pressure to conform, misuse of scripture or the pulpit to control behaviour, requirement of obedience to the abuser, the suggestion that the abuser has a ‘divine’ position, isolation from others, especially those external to the abusive context.’9. Dr Lisa Oakely
Even the 10 Commandments, which COG leaders claim still is in force, yet never really keep, tells them to not spiritually abuse members.
However, we might also answer the question by turning to instruction from the law of God. In the structure of the Ten Commandments the first explicit duty of loving our neighbor is the fifth: “Honor your father and your mother” (Exodus 20:12). A proper understanding of this commandment includes reciprocal responsibilities. Yes, children are to honor their parents but parents, in the spirit of the law, are to be honorable (see Ephesians 6:4). It’s also a commandment with a broad scope as it extends itself beyond the natural parent and child relationship — it really is a command that regulates many relationships in life.
One of those relationships is that which exists between the spiritual leaders of the church and those to whom they exercise oversight. In the design of Jesus there are to be leaders in the church: “We ask you, brothers, to respect those who labor among you and are over you in the Lord” (1 Thessalonians 5:12), and “Obey your leaders and submit to them, for they are keeping watch over your souls, as those who will have to give an account” (Hebrews 13:17). These leaders stand in the place of spiritual mothers and fathers (see 1 Thessalonians 2:7-12 and 2 Corinthians 11:2). Spiritual Abuse: Seeing What We Don't Want to See
The word of the LORD came to me: ‘Son of man, prophesy against the shepherds of Israel; prophesy, and say to them, even to the shepherds, Thus says the LORD GOD: Ah, shepherds of Israel who have been feeding yourselves! Should not shepherds feed the sheep? You eat the fat, you clothe yourselves with the wool, you slaughter the fat ones, but you do not feed the sheep. The weak you have not strengthened, the sick you have not healed, the injured you have not bound up, the strayed you have not brought back, the lost you have not sought, and with force and harshness you have ruled them. Ezekiel 34:1-4
So I exhort the elders among you, as a fellow elder and a witness of the sufferings of Christ, as well as a partaker in the glory that is going to be revealed: shepherd the flock of God that is among you, exercising oversight, not under compulsion, but willingly, as God would have you; not for shameful gain, but eagerly; not domineering over those in your charge, but being examples to the flock. And when the chief Shepherd appears, you will receive the unfading crown of glory. 1 Peter 5:1-4
